She pulled away from him, slipped off her sandals and walked down to where the waves were rolling in.
‘Your trousers will get wet. Be careful!’
She didn’t seem to hear him, just carried on going until she was walking in the shallows, her whole demeanour defeated, broken, and it was killing him.
She looked so beautiful—beautiful and broken.
He’d never wanted to hold her in his arms more and felt her so off limits.
He walked towards her. ‘Red?’
She paused and turned to him, her eyes dark and glittering.
‘We have this time now,’ he tried softly, ‘let’s not take it away with the past.’
Her smile lifted to one side. ‘You’re the one letting the past intervene.’
‘No, I’m keeping it real. I’m giving the past the nod it deserves and the future... I’m protecting us both, just as you did back then.’
She looked out over the ocean. ‘You and I have a different version of what the past deserves, Freddie.’
He closed the distance between them, desperate to reconnect, to feel the calm only she could provide. And he knew how messed up that was.
‘Let us have the now, please, I beg of you.’ He reached out to touch her chin, gently encouraging her to look at him. ‘Please understand, I can’t go through that pain again, Red, I can’t.’
Who are you really trying to convince? Yourself or her?
‘But I promise you this right now, I want you and nobody else. Just you. For the time we’re here, I will treasure you, I will care for you, I will worship the ground you walk on.’
‘And afterwards?’ she whispered.
He felt his heart shatter and reformed it with ice. ‘Afterwards we go our separate ways, just like before.’
‘But...but you’ll be in Edinburgh. I’ll be in Edinburgh.’
‘It’s a big city, nothing to say we need see each other again.’
He would never be as weak as he’d once been. He couldn’t. As for the future, there was no avoiding it. He would be the Laird of Highgrove, and with all the responsibility, the demands on his time, he wouldn’t treat her to the scraps that were left over when work was done, and the estate was tended to. He wouldn’t be his father.
She shuddered before him and he wrapped his arms around her.
‘You’re cold.’ Though he sensed it wasn’t the coolness of the sea or the late hour that had made her so. ‘We should head back.’
They retraced their steps, his arm around her, holding her close, but he felt as distant from her as he had been these last ten years.
When they reached the fork in the path, the one that led to his quarters or hers, she turned to look at him and he tugged her towards him, tugged her and struggled to keep his heart in its icy grip.
It’s okay to want her now and let her go later...
He only wished he felt the assurance all the way through his once bitten heart that seemed determined to warm, to care, to dream.
‘I should probably stay in my room tonight.’ She tried to pull away.
‘No.’ It was out before he could stop it, his arms coming around her as he forced himself to ask, ‘Unless that’s what you really want?’
‘No, Freddie.’ She shook her head, her eyes awash with tears, and a lump formed in his throat, making it difficult to breathe, to swallow. ‘I want to stay with you.’
‘Then come with me,’ he managed to say.
‘How can you ask that after all you said?’
‘Because I never said I wanted this to end now. I want this time with you, Jas. I want this time to forget all else but you.’
He could see the fight in her, could see it and feared it, and so he kissed her. It was a dirty trick. It was cruel to use their mutual desire to keep her. But it was crueller still to torture themselves by separating sooner than their time on the island allowed.
She froze for a split second, her mouth unmoving under his, and then she was kissing him back, her entire body melting into him.
‘Please, Red...’ He brushed the words against her lips.
She nodded, a murmured acceptance, and he pulled her into his side, kissed the top of her head as relief coursed through him.
They headed towards his room in step together.
‘So, since you know the M itinerary off by heart, what do they have in store for us tomorrow?’ Her question was soft, quiet, and he knew she was seeking a light distraction from the heavy echo of their fallout.
‘Sailing... We’re taking a trip out to Praslin Island.’
‘Oh, sailing. That should be fun.’
Fun.
Exactly what this week should be about, and he needed to get better at keeping her focused on that.
She sank deeper into him and he relished it, her willingness to give herself over to the force still pulling them together.
He only wished the force was more powerful than that which had torn them apart. But the pain, the belief that she would run from the force that was his family, his heritage was still there, stronger than ever.
Because above all, he was a Highgrove, and he couldn’t ever shake that off.
CHAPTER TWELVE
SAILING WAS NOT FUN!
In fact, Jasmine would go as far as to say it was the very opposite of fun and actually torture.
And she had no idea what she’d done to deserve it, but if she didn’t get back on land soon, she feared breakfast would be making a reappearance, not to mention their lovingly prepared dishes the night before.
And thinking about that really wasn’t helping...
‘Hey.’ Freddie’s voice was soft in her ear, but not soft enough for her over-sensitised body and she flinched away, even more when his hand touched her back. ‘Sorry.’
She sensed him ease back but couldn’t risk a peek, she was too busy trying to breathe steadily and slowly, just like they had been advised, but it wasn’t working. The catamaran lurched as the waves buffeted it again and she gripped the handrail tightly.
‘I don’t remember you ever being seasick.’
‘I don’t ever remember being on a boat that rocked like it was about to capsize before.’
Ooh, too many words. And breathe.
She heard Freddie laugh. The low sound was no longer sexy. Not in the slightest. If she was capable of it, she’d show him just what she thought of his laugh, but that last stream of words had cost her dearly.
‘It’s hardly going to capsize, Red. It’s a gentle rocking motion at worst. Like the kind you’d use to send a baby off to sleep.’
‘Less of the rocking,’ she said through gritted teeth.
‘Try tricking your body into believing you’re on land, and that everything is a figment of your imagination.’
She moaned into her fist.
‘You only feel sick because your inner ear is sending different signals from those that your eyes are sending.’
‘Signals?’ she blurted. She really couldn’t care less about signals, and what they were or weren’t doing.
‘That’s right, different signals than those your eyes are sending. It causes your body to get confused, so try telling it something different.’
‘Something different.’ She could hardly believe what he was suggesting, let alone do it.
Like it’s that simple.
He merely smiled, his blue eyes vibrant and... Hang on.
‘Are you laughing at me?’
‘No.’ His face fell, his body straightening.
‘You are!’ His eyes were definitely dancing...or was it just the effect of the waves being reflected back—? Oh, no, the waves!
She buried her head back in her arms.
‘I’m trying to distract you.’
‘It’s not helping, Freddie.’
‘It’s a shame,
it really is beautiful out here.’
Oh, she knew it was beautiful all right, she’d seen enough of it. Before the nausea, stomach cramps and vom—No, she hadn’t vomited, not yet, but she wasn’t sure how far off that was. And she really didn’t want to vomit.
‘Ooh, there’s a turtle.’
‘What?’ Her head shot up, her eyes eagerly scanning the clear water.
‘See. Distracting you.’
‘Freddie!’ She punched him in the chest, reassuming her position as her stomach cramped. She was going to kick him if he carried on being this helpful.
‘Maybe a little sip of water.’
She groaned.
‘A ginger ale?’
‘No.’ She pursed her lips, not that he could see now her head was once more buried in her arms. She must look positively grey, or was it green?
Whoa! The boat lurched again, sending her rocking back and her head up.
‘How long?’ she blurted.
‘How long, what?’
She made a noise with her mouth. Surely it was obvious. ‘How long until we get to land?’
‘An hour maybe.’
And then they’d have to board the boat again to get back...
She groaned audibly and he must have sensed the direction of her thoughts as he said, ‘The captain reckons it won’t be quite as bad this afternoon for the return leg to Rosalie.’
Phew. At least that was something, and she murmured her gratitude to the floor.
‘You want to hear something sweet?’
He didn’t wait for her to reply, which was good because she wasn’t planning on saying another word.
‘Rosalie Island got its name from a French naval officer. He explored it back in the late seventeen-hundreds and named it after his wife. Quite a gift. Not that he ever came back to see it, or his wife for that matter...’
‘He didn’t see his wife again. Or she didn’t get to see the island?’
‘She didn’t get to see it.’
‘Oh.’
Freddie carried on, his smooth chatter flowing over her, and she found it became less of an annoyance and more of a lulling murmur, his little titbits of information giving her something to focus on other than the rolling of her stomach. He didn’t touch her again, he’d learned his lesson there, but he stayed beside her, his attention very much on her when he should have been enjoying the view.
* * *
Over an hour later, her toes curling into soft, warm sand, she managed a meek smile. Land at last. ‘Thank you.’
He grinned at her, his sunglasses hiding his eyes. ‘For being annoying?’
‘I’m sorry. You weren’t annoying, I just...’ She grimaced, her hand gripping her stomach. ‘I’ve never been seasick before. I didn’t know it was a thing for me, or how awful it could be.’
‘It’s fine, it’s not your fault.’ He frowned at her hand gesture and looked to where their guide for the day was waiting patiently in the shade of a thatched shack and chatting with new arrivals from another boat. ‘Are you sure you’re up for this trek?’
She followed his line of sight, felt the heat of the day beating down on her beneath her cap and the truth was she didn’t feel it. She felt like she was still on the boat, rocking with the sea, and gritted her teeth as she swallowed down the sudden moisture in her mouth.
‘Tell you what,’ he said, ‘why don’t I see if we can rest here for a bit?’
She frowned at him. ‘I don’t want to waste their time.’
‘It’s okay, I’m sure they won’t mind.’
‘But they might be busy later.’
‘And if they are busy...’ he pushed his sunglasses back and the compassion in his vibrant blue eyes made her belly flutter rather than roll ‘...we’ll make the most of Praslin’s shoreline. It’s beautiful here.’
‘It’s as beautiful as Rosalie and we’re staying there,’ she murmured, unconvinced. She didn’t want to spoil this for him too. ‘When will you get chance to see the wildlife here again and the Vallée de Mai Nature Reserve?’
He cupped her cheek, the move so soft and surprising it stole her breath. ‘Stop fretting and sit down before you fall down.’
‘Am I swaying?’
His smile lifted to one side. ‘Just a little. And if the sea doesn’t improve, I’ll see if I can get us a flight back to Rosalie. There’s a small runway here.’
‘No, Freddie, I’m sure I’ll be fine after a short rest and I don’t want to be a pain.’
‘You’re being a pain by refusing my suggestions.’ He softened his words with another grin. ‘Now sit.’
She watched him go, guilt, gratitude and some other emotion too close to the love she was trying hard to suppress rising up within her. She didn’t want to ruin this trip for him. But then she hadn’t anticipated feeling like this. Here she was in new surroundings, feeling like she’d been tossed off a vicious fairground ride without the candy floss and the hot dogs to fuel it.
And that thought really didn’t help.
She took Freddie’s advice and dropped onto the sand, sucked in a deep breath and blew it out slowly, her eyes going to the unmoving horizon and feeling marginally better for it. She just needed the ground beneath her to stop moving and all would be well. A few more deep breaths and—
Her phone buzzed from the depths of her straw bag. She frowned and reached inside to pull it out. It was Sadie in their group chat.
Where’s our update? Waiting (im)patiently... x
She smiled at the screen in spite of the continued rocking and the knowledge that soon the trip would be over and if Freddie didn’t change his mind, they would be going their separate ways.
She tapped in her reply.
Paradise is just that. Paradise x
Sadie’s response was instant.
Never mind paradise, what’s he like? Xxx
He’s...
She stopped typing.
What could she say? She could hardly reveal it was Freddie. She’d considered messaging them the very first night, but every scenario of her offloading the truth resulted in a barrage of questions and very likely phone calls too and she didn’t want the chaos of it. Not now when time wasn’t on their side.
She also wasn’t ready to face their potential wrath. Though they would mean well, their anger stemming from their love for her, they really weren’t going to take the news lightly. Part of the whole M thing was about putting Freddie behind her and instead it had done the total opposite.
It had been enough of a shock dealing with it herself. Telling them and dealing with their reactions too...
No, that discussion could wait for her return to Edinburgh. Until then she would make the most of this. Paradise and Freddie.
...perfect x
She sent it. It was the truth after all.
Izzy replied first.
How exciting! M made good on their promise then? xxx
Sadie came next, in true Sadie fashion.
You’d hope so when they charge all those zeroes! But when we’re talking perfect, how perfect? Like the full Mr Perfect package—eight-pack ripped, drop-dead gorgeous and a brain? Cos he needs a brain to be with you, Ms Clever Clogs! Mwah!
She laughed at her friend’s bluntness and instantly regretted it. Her body really wasn’t ready for laughter.
Dragging in a breath, she looked over her shoulder to where her Mr Perfect was now chatting animatedly to their tour guide. He was wearing a white V-neck T-shirt and navy board shorts today, the outfit simple, but on him...even with the churning sensation still underway, her body pulsed with heat. He definitely was her Mr Perfect.
Their tour guide was frowning and nodding at whatever Freddie was saying and her ears burned. He was no doubt telling him how sick she felt, how she hadn’t been able to cope with the crossing and was now ruining the d
ay for all of them.
Well, no, he wouldn’t be saying that last bit, that was all her as she blamed herself.
Slipping her hand beneath her cap, she rubbed at her forehead and wished the sensation away, but it was no good. She couldn’t force her body to toe the line and behave, no matter how much she wanted it to.
Her phone buzzed and she squinted at the screen, Sadie’s message blared back at her.
Well???
She pursed her lips and typed.
Yes, he has a brain! And, yes, he has a body you would approve of. He is perfect for me xx
She grimaced. A bit too honest, perhaps... But it was just what her friends would want to hear.
Sadie replied.
Oh, man, I’m so jealous.
Then Izzy.
You change your men as often as you change your underwear, Sadie, you don’t get to be jealous!
Sadie again:
Do not.
Izzy:
Do so.
And now it was her friends sending her dizzy. She groaned and dropped back onto the sand, not caring that her hair was still wet from the waves hitting the catamaran and that the sand would cling to it.
Her phone continued to buzz, and she lifted it against the sun and tapped in a message.
How old are you two again?
Sadie replied.
Not as old as you.
Then Izzy:
You really need to learn to mince your words, S!
Sadie:
That’s not how the saying goes, and anyway life’s too short. Which is why I’m over the moon you’ve found your man. So, do we get a name at least?
She bit her bottom lip.
You’ll have to wait until I get back.
Sadie:
Which is when?
Izzy:
Give her a break, she doesn’t want to think about home already!
Sadie:
Izzy, shh!
She thought it over. By her reckoning, if all went to plan, she would be back in Edinburgh Saturday lunchtime and going home to an empty penthouse...
She replied.
Saturday lunchtime xx
Surprise Reunion with His Cinderella Page 13