‘No, Jas. You should stay and enjoy the rest of your holiday. You work hard, you’re supposed to play harder, right?’
He forced a smile, tried to act like his whole world wasn’t falling in.
‘Don’t, Freddie. Don’t act like this is all okay, because it’s not okay. We were making a commitment to one another... We were making plans.’
‘Plans that can no longer happen.’
‘So we’ll make new plans. We’ll work out another path to keep us together.’
Her words teased at his shattering heart, tugged at his chest, and he had to stop them, stop her, stop it.
He pressed a kiss to her lips, a long, desperate kiss to get enough, enough to see him through, and she let him take, her body turning into liquid in his hands...and maybe, just maybe... No!
He thrust her away, tried to ignore the way her body trembled beneath his fingers, the way she shook her head at him, the way her dazed eyes glistened with realisation. This was goodbye. It was over.
‘You’ve had a shock, Freddie, a huge shock, you’re not thinking clearly.’
‘I’m thinking well enough to know I can’t do it. I can’t deal with you, us, Dad, my family, all of it!’ He’d crashed to earth the second his sister had given him the news. The brutal reality of life hitting him smack in the face and laughing at the very idea he could have had a future on his own terms. ‘We were foolish to see this as some fantastical second chance when the reality is so very different.’
‘It doesn’t have to be all that different, not if we don’t want it to be.’
He hesitated, staring into those dizzying green eyes and wishing so hard he could believe it. But he’d gone it alone for so many years and alone he could keep control of his life, his heart. He couldn’t inflict pain, neither could he suffer it.
And yet here they both were swimming in it. Pain.
Not even a week in and this was where they were. How would it be weeks, months, a year down the line?
He couldn’t listen, couldn’t even look at her. He needed this over and he needed to be back in Scotland. At his father’s bedside. The man had always been a towering strength, a force to be reckoned with, now he lay vulnerable, weak...
‘I’m sorry.’ He turned away from her, shutting it all out, something he’d become a master of over the years, and snatched up his phone, dialling his PA. ‘Please go, Jas. Let me deal with this. I’ll come and find you once I have my flight sorted.’
He sensed her step towards him and stilled, his entire body rigid as he anticipated her touch... But nothing came.
She padded from the room as stealthily as she’d made her way into his heart again and he clenched his eyes shut, forced down the rising tide within him.
Focus on Dad, on your family who need you.
The rest can come later, much later...when she’s no longer within reach.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
JASMINE POURED THE wine as Sadie and Izzy debated the complicated state of her love life. Now that they’d got over the shock of M choosing Freddie as her perfect match, they were rapidly debating her next move.
Like it was some complicated game of chess. Not a star-crossed love affair that had survived the test of years and come back all the stronger for it. All the stronger but with no hope of a future.
Because if there had been, Freddie would have wanted her by his side in his hour of need. If she’d had the option of having him by her side when she’d lost Mum, she would have grabbed hold with both hands.
‘You know, I still can’t believe it was Freddie Highgrove,’ Izzy murmured into her freshly filled glass.
‘It’s all very romantic.’ Sadie swooned dramatically as she flopped back onto the living room floor, her glass safely resting on the coffee table. ‘Very fated.’
‘Yes, we’ve done the whole fated thing to death already,’ Jasmine grumbled. ‘It doesn’t make me feel any better.’
‘Well, of course not.’ Sadie shot up onto her elbows to stare at Jasmine perched on the edge of her teal sofa. ‘You’re in love and broken-hearted all over again! It’s ridiculous.’
‘I’m so glad the state of my heart is something to ridicule.’
‘I wasn’t ridiculing it.’
‘You just said it was ridiculous.’
‘Yes, well, it is,’ she blustered. ‘He should have taken you with him.’
‘Yes, he should have,’ Izzy added softly, from the other end of the sofa. ‘But...not many people would react to the news he’d just been given in a sane, rational way. He was clearly out of his mind with worry, and to have your very new, very uncertain relationship on top... It’s kind of understandable.’
‘Yeah, yeah, I get it.’ Sadie nodded vigorously. ‘And I hate to say it after all these years and us telling you to forget him, Jas, but I feel sorry for him. And you. It’s quite obvious he’s hopelessly in love with you.’
‘Is it?’ Jasmine took up her glass and threw back too big a sip. She couldn’t help it. Her friends were a bad influence and as for Freddie...it had been days, days and not a word. Not that they’d exchanged numbers, but she knew Freddie could reach her if he really wanted to. M would make sure of that. ‘I don’t know how you can think that, not when I’m struggling to believe it.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
She gave Sadie a hard stare.
‘Okay, no more ridiculous. Help me out, Iz!’
‘From what you’ve told us, I have to say I’m with Sadie. I think he loves you and he’s protecting you, protecting both of you from the past repeating itself.’
‘Exactly!’ Sadie declared.
‘But we dealt with all that, we were making plans—’
‘Plans that kept things in your control,’ Izzy said softly. ‘Gave you time together before facing such a huge hurdle.’
‘He basically panicked, Jas, surely you can see that?’
‘I thought so too, at the time, but he’s not reached out, not even the briefest of messages.’
‘He has a lot on his plate.’
She grimaced. She knew that too and now she felt even worse for questioning it.
‘And it’s not like you’ve messaged him.’
‘No, but I wanted to give him the space he so obviously wanted.’
‘Well, he’s had his space!’ Sadie blustered. ‘Time to close in.’
‘Hey, easy, Sades...’ Izzy waved their excitable friend down. ‘The thing is he’s so clearly used to going it alone and keeping a tight lid on his life. The whole talk of planning, taking things slowly, putting off the inevitable showdown with his family and facing his aristocratic world that treated you like...well, crap. And then life comes along and turns all those plans for a future on their head. I get why he walked away from you—he was protecting you from a future so out of his control it scared him.’
‘But I don’t need his protection, I want us to face it together.’
‘Maybe part of him feels that the old Jasmine is still in there deep down, the one that did run in the face of his parents all those years ago,’ Sadie supplied, trying to be helpful, but it only frustrated her more.
‘I told you, we dealt with all that. And he knows I’m different now, he knows I’m stronger, better equipped to deal with it.’ She cursed in her desperation. ‘I’m a successful businesswoman, able to stand up in front of thousands and fight for what I believe in, so why would he doubt my ability to stand and fight for us now?’
‘Because the risk is far greater.’ Izzy gave a hapless shrug.
‘Absolutely.’ Sadie nodded. ‘If he was to believe in you now, and you broke his heart, or worse, if he believed in you and his parents, their world broke you all over again when you are, as you say, a strong, successful, independent businesswoman...’
Her stomach lurched as her friends’ meaning hit home. They were right, there
was so much more to this. So much more for him to fret over, to worry about, to doubt. Even if he had put their past to bed.
‘It’s true, honey, think about it,’ Izzy urged softly.
Jasmine’s brain was racing.
After the initial shock of his leaving the Seychelles, she’d gone over and over everything. Revisiting every conversation, every look. Questioning whether she’d imagined the love shining back at her, the desire to be together, the happiness. Was there a part of him that didn’t want to let her in? To share his life? Was it an excuse to end it?
No, she couldn’t believe it of him. He was hurting and acting on impulse, pushing her out and doing what he was used to, shouldering it alone. And this in itself was a test, a test she had to win. To prove that this time she was staying. She wouldn’t run like she once had, she would stay by his side, where she wanted to be and where she should be. ‘I need to show him we’re stronger together.’
‘Ooh, fighting talk,’ Sadie cooed. ‘I like it!’
‘Only...what if he won’t give me the chance?’
Izzy frowned. ‘Why does he need to give you the chance?’
‘Since when do you wait for an opportunity to come your way? You need to take the bull by the horns,’ Sadie said, doing an impression of doing just that with her fists.
‘Yes.’ Izzy grinned. ‘Take the courage to his doorstep.’
She frowned at both of them, deciding the second bottle of wine was clearly a mistake.
‘You need to go to Highgrove, silly!’ they both said in unison.
‘To the manor?’
‘Yes!’
‘But...they’re going through so much at the moment. To turn up when his father is in hospital and potentially stir things up...’
‘To be frank...’ Sadie said, sweeping up her glass and necking a gulp ‘...the way they treated you all those years ago, they don’t deserve such thought now.’
Izzy waved Sadie down yet again. ‘I get what you’re saying, but you have the contact details for their new housekeeper, don’t you?’
‘Yes, she was friends with Mum and is one of my clients now.’
‘Then contact her,’ Izzy said. ‘Find out the lie of the land and then make a call on it. But it seems to me the only way to prove your love for him and have him return it is to go to Highgrove Manor and declare it, just like he did ten years ago.’
‘Only this time it’s you outing the pair of you, fighting for you,’ Sadie added.
‘And what if it’s the last thing he wants me to do? What if I’m wrong and he doesn’t love me?’
‘Is it really going to hurt more than it does now?’ Izzy said softly.
Nothing could hurt more, but at least she still had the uncertainty, the teeny-tiny glimmer of hope. If she went there and he rejected her...
‘You’re no chicken, Jas!’ Sadie shot up and plonked herself between them on the sofa, slapping Jasmine’s back. ‘And it’s high time you stood up to those Highgroves and stood up for your heart too.’
‘You’ve really got nothing to lose, honey. Sadie’s right on this one.’
‘And I really need to get a phone and record you saying that,’ Sadie said, and Izzy shoved her, their laughter filling the room and fading out just as quickly. Their focus returned to her as they grinned with absolute encouragement.
‘You can do this,’ they both assured her.
Could she? Did she really have it in her?
But then, wasn’t that exactly what she was trying to prove? That their love was worth the bumpy road that lay ahead, regardless of how difficult it might be.
* * *
‘Thank you, dear.’ Freddie’s mum gently patted his arm as she took the gin and tonic from him and sipped at it. ‘I’m so glad to have you home, it’s been very reassuring for me and your father.’
‘Where else would I be?’
Ally looked at him over the water she had opted for in her present condition. ‘Yes, where else indeed.’
He gave her a warning look, but her eyes danced in the light of the study fire, her own pleasure at his return very evident, her amusement over his predicament all the more so. He had told her too much, but then his sister had always been adept at reading him and asking the right kind of questions.
‘It will be good to have your father home tomorrow,’ his mother continued, unaware of the siblings’ silent exchange. ‘He won’t appreciate the changes that need to be made but together we can convince him.’
‘Of course.’
‘You will stay for a bit longer, won’t you, Frederick?’
‘Yes, do stay.’ It was Ally’s way of saying ‘I’m not done with you yet,’ though he could hardly see what else she hoped to glean. He’d made it clear to her he was a mess and the only solution, the only thing he wanted above all else, was Jasmine. By his side. And he’d made a complete hash of that.
Would she even let him near her again? Would she forgive him for walking away?
‘Frederick?’
He looked at his mother’s imploring gaze and scoured his brain for the question he was supposed to be answering. Was he staying? ‘Yes, of course I will.’
She smiled at him, her back ramrod straight, her posture perfect, even when she wasn’t on show and it was just her children with her. He took up his whisky and strode to the fire, leaned his elbow on the mantel as he stared down into the flames. It had been over a week since he’d left her.
Not just left her but left her without any hope. And all because of what? He didn’t want to inflict pain on her further down the road. Well, newsflash, they were already in pain, a pain he couldn’t imagine getting any worse, and he knew the only thing that would take it away was to have her by his side. To give her—no, to give them—a chance.
A chance at the future they’d always wanted. It might be a decade too late but in so many ways they were better prepared for it now. He just wished he’d come to that conclusion before he’d walked away from her and left all that was good in his life back in paradise—their paradise.
He threw back his whisky, grimacing over the burn of the alcohol and his mistake.
‘What is it, brother?’
He shot Ally another look. She knew well enough what was wrong and she’d already made her thoughts clear. That he was a damn fool. A fool for letting Jas go, a fool for giving up the one true happiness he’d ever known.
‘Alison, really. It’s been a tough week for all of us, I hardly think the question necessary.’
‘Sorry, Mother, but we know father is going to be fine. It was a timely warning and one that will see him listening to our advice at last and taking it easy. We’ve been on him for years and even Dr McGivern was starting to get blue faced.’
‘Yes,’ she agreed. ‘In that sense it will be a blessing. He certainly needs to retire sooner rather than later.’
‘It should be easy enough to convince him of that,’ Freddie said. ‘Now that I’m moving back to Edinburgh permanently.’
Both women choked on their drinks.
‘You are?’ Ally said, her eyes wide.
‘I have a few things I need to tie up Stateside but, yes, I expect to make Edinburgh my home again in the coming months.’
‘Well, your father will be most relieved,’ his mother rushed out, colour warming her cheeks as her eyes misted over. ‘Though he won’t appreciate his stroke being the deciding factor.’
‘It wasn’t. It’s been on my mind for a while.’
She narrowed her gaze on him. ‘You never said anything.’
‘Well, I have now.’ He winced at how defensive he sounded but he’d barely slept in a week and it was starting to show. And he missed her, really missed her.
‘Maybe if you’d said something sooner, this—’
‘Mum.’ Ally’s eyes snapped to her, cutting off the blame that was so o
bviously coming.
‘Yes, well,’ his mother backtracked, her voice rising a little as she wriggled in her seat. ‘It will make a wonderful change, having you home again.’
‘It really will,’ Ally said, smiling at him now, her eyes full of compassion and understanding and...hope. Did she know his thoughts? That he was this close to fighting for the woman he’d fought and failed to keep before?
The ancient doorbell rang through the house, its sound jarring and unexpected.
His mother frowned. ‘Who can that be? It’s a bit late for unexpected visitors.’
Grateful for the distraction, he headed to the door. ‘I’ll go and check.’
‘No need, Stevens will get it.’
‘I’ll go anyway. The last thing you need is visitors at this late hour. I’ll send them on their way.’
‘Very good, dear.’
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SHE WAS ABOUT to reach for the bell again when she saw a shadow approach through the small bevelled windowpanes that made up the top half of the heavy wooden door. Her heart fluttered into her throat and she clutched her chest, seeking comfort from the locket hidden beneath the layers of clothing.
Maybe she should have left it until morning. It was getting late in the day and she knew they’d been to the hospital that afternoon, as they had done every afternoon since the Laird had been admitted. She also knew he was doing well or else she wouldn’t be here now. But...
She was nervous.
The long approach to the house had given her too much time to think and agonise over her decision, while reacquainting herself with her childhood and her times with Freddie. Scaling the walls that guarded the main house, climbing the trees that lined the winding driveway, sailing on the loch, building a den and enjoying a stolen tin of Maggie’s shortbread, and hiding out in the guest house hidden in the hills...
So many happy memories.
But the trees arching over the driveway had never felt more oppressive as she’d driven beneath them. The house in its vast, austere beauty had loomed dark and grey, looking ever more formidable as she’d approached. Even the rolling amethyst hills surrounding it, the pink hue of the setting sun reflecting off the Highgrove loch and the sight of the deer grazing beside it had done nothing to ease her nerves.
Surprise Reunion with His Cinderella Page 16