‘Manage to take such a wife [then], for God’s sake,’ Pantagruel replied.
‘But,’ said Panurge, ‘if God so willed and it came to pass that I married some goodly woman who knocked me about, I would be more than a tercelet of Job if I never flew into a towering rage. For they tell me that those goody-goody wives are normally shrews, with plenty of vinegar kept in their homes. But I would outdo her: I’d so knock her giblets about – her arms, I mean, her legs, head, lungs, liver and spleen – and so rip up her robes with blow after blow that the great Deil himself would be waiting at the door for her damnèd soul. This year I could well do without such ructions: happy I’d be to experience them never!’
‘Never get married then,’ Pantagruel replied.
‘True; but in the state I’m in,’ said Panurge, ‘out of debt and unmarried (take note, I say, unfortunately out of debt, for if I were heavily in debt my creditors would be all too anxious about my coming paternity) but anyway, out of debt and unmarried, I shall have nobody to care for me, nobody to show me such love as conjugal love is said to be. Were I to fall ill I would only be treated against the grain. The Sage says, “Where there is no wife” (I mean a materfamilias within legitimate wedlock) “he greatly mourneth who is ill.” I have seen clear proof of that in popes, legates, cardinals, bishops, abbots, priors, priests and monks. Amongst such, indeed, me you never shall find.’
‘Find you a wife then, for God’s sake,’ Pantagruel replied.
‘But,’ said Panurge, ‘if I were ill, incapable of fulfilling the marriage debt, my wife might be impatient with my debility and abandon herself to other men, not only never succouring me in my need but mocking my misfortune, and worse still – I’ve often seen it happen! – stealing from me. That would be the last straw. With doublet undone, raving mad through the fields I’d run.’
‘Run not into marriage, then,’ Pantagruel replied.
‘Yes,’ said Panurge, ‘but in that case I would never have legitimate sons and daughters through whom I might hope to perpetuate my name and my coat-of-arms, bequeathing to them my wealth, both inherited and acquired (I shall acquire a lot of it one of these days, doubt it not, and be great at disencumbering my inheritances) and with whom, when I was depressed, I would enjoy myself, just as I see your kind and gentle father daily do with you, and as do all good folk privately in their habitations. Now if I were out of debt, not married, yet troubled by some misfortune… But instead of comforting me I think you’re laughing at my plight!’
‘Plight not thy troth then, for God’s sake,’ Pantagruel replied.
How Pantagruel admonishes Panurge that it is hard to give counsel about marriage; and of Homeric and Virgilian lots
CHAPTER 10
[The erudition displayed in this chapter and the quotations – including the additions of 1552 – derive from a treatise, On Nobility by André Tiraqueau, the legal authority who had been a friend of Rabelais from his early days as a Franciscan at Fontenay-le-Comte. Rabelais must have read the treatise in manuscript, since the work was not printed until 1549. His reading of Cardano’s On Wisdom would further have reinforced his respect for Homeric and Virgilian lots.
The final example, that of Fierre Amy, a very learned Franciscan, a contemporary of Rabelais in the same convent, shows that such lots kept their validity in the time of Rabelais.
‘Cowled Hobgoblins’ (Farfadets) is a harsh name for the Franciscans.
Most of the original readers of the Third Book could not have managed Greek script let alone Greek verse: the presence of the Greek verse, in Greek script, forms a strong claim by Rabelais to be taken as erudite. The translations which here follow the Greek and Latin verse do not directly render the original Greek and Latin but retranslate the looser versions which Rabelais provides in French.
Brutus was not killed at Pharsalia: he committed suicide at Philippi: Rabelais slipped up.
In ‘52 ‘self-contradictory repetitions’ replaces the original technical terms ‘paronomasias’ and ‘epanalepses’ in the first sentence.]
‘Your advice,’ said Panurge, ‘resembles – under correction – Ricochet’s round. It is nothing but taunts, jests, paronomasias and epanalepses, one lot undoing the other. I can’t tell which to hold on to.’
‘In your propositions, too, there are so many ifs and buts,’ replied Pantagruel, ‘that I can build nothing on them nor reach any conclusion. Are you not sure of your will? The principal point lies therein: all the rest is fortuitous and dependent on the destined dispositions of Heaven.
‘We see many couples so happily met that there seems to shine forth in their marriage some Idea and Form of the joys of Paradise. Others are so wretched that the devils who tempt the hermits in the deserts of the Thebaid and Montserrat are not more so. Once it is your will to enter upon it, you must embark on it blindfold, bowing your head and kissing the ground, commending yourself meanwhile to God.
‘No other assurance can I give you.
‘Yet if it seems good to you, this is what you shall do. Bring me the works of Virgil; then opening them thrice with your nail, we shall, having agreed which numbered lines to take, reconnoitre the future lot of your marriage, just as many a man has discovered his destiny through Homeric lots:
– witness Socrates, who, upon hearing recited in prison this line said of Achilles by Homer, Iliad, 9,
‘′HματI ϰέν τϱιτAτω φθIην έϱIβωλον IϰοIμην
I shall arrive without a long delay
In fair and fertile Phthia the third day
foresaw that he would die three days later and said so to Aeschines [as Plato wrote in the Crito, Cicero in the first book of On Divination, and Diogenes Laertius also;
– witness Opilius Macrinus, to whom fell by lot the following judgement from Iliad, 8, when he yearned to know whether he would be the emperor of Rome:
Ω γέϱον ή μAλα δή σε νέοι τεIϱουσι μαχηταI
Σή δέ βIη λέλυται χαλεπOν δέ σε γήρας σπAζει
Old Man, the soldiers from now on, no doubt,
Being young and strong shall surely tire thee out;
Old age is here: your vigour fully gone,
Age harsh and grievous thee hath fallen upon;
he was indeed already old and, having governed the Empire for a mere year and two months was overthrown by the young and powerful Heliogabalus and killed;]
– witness Brutus who, wishing to reconnoitre the outcome of the battle of Pharsalia in which he was killed, came across the following line said of Proclus in Iliad, 16:
‘Aλλα με μοϊϱ ‘Oλοή ϰαι ΛητοYς εκτανεν νIος
Through spiteful Fate’s felonious breath,
By Latona’s cruel son I met my death.
And Apollo was indeed the watchword for the day of that battle.
‘Moreover in ancient times outstanding things and matters of great importance were known and revealed by Virgilian lots, even including the winning of the Roman imperium, as happened to Alexander Severus, who, in lots of this kind, came across the following line of Virgil, Book 6:
Tu regere imperio populos, Romane, memento
Remember, son of Rome, the empire come thy way,
So rule the world that it does not decay.
And a few years after that he was really and truly made emperor of Rome.
‘Then there was Hadrian, the Roman emperor, who, when worried, and anxious to learn what opinion Trajan had of him and what love he felt for him, sought advice from Virgilian lots and came across these lines in Book 6 of the Aeneid:
Quis procul ille autem, ramis insignis olivae
Sacra ferens? Nosco crines incanaque menta
Regis Romani
Who is’t that, in his hand, so far from home
Bears olive branches, with true majesty?
From his grey hairs and sacred vestments see!
I recognize the ancient King of Rome;
he was then adopted by Trajan a
nd succeeded to the imperium.
[‘See also Claudius the Second, that highly praised emperor of Rome, to whom fell by lot the following line from Book 6 of the Aeneid:
Tertia dum Latio regnantem viderit aestas
Until by thee, ruling in Rome, hath been
In public view thy third of summers seen:…
And indeed he ruled but for two years.
‘To that same man, when inquiring about Quintilius his brother, there fell the following line from Book 6 of the Aeneid:
Ostendent terris hunc tantum fata
The Fates shall show these lands alone to thee.
And so it transpired, for he was killed seventeen days after he had been entrusted with running the Empire. (That same lot fell to the Emperor Gordian the Younger.)
‘Claudius Albinus, anxious to learn of his good fortune, happened upon what is written in Book 6 of the Aeneid:
Hic rem Romanam magno turbante tumultu,
Sistet eques, etc.
This soldier brave, when discord is Rome’s fate,
Will prove the pillar of the Imperial State:
O’er Carthage and the Gauls if they rebel
He will gain victories full fair to retell]
‘So too the venerated emperor Claudius, the predecessor of Aurelian, when worried about his posterity, came by lot upon this line [Aeneid, 1]:
His ego nec metas rerum nec tempora pono:
A long success, to them I now extend:
Where neither bound nor time shall fix an end;
‘And he did beget long strings of successors.
‘Then there was Maître Pierre Amy, who, when he was reconnoitring to discover whether he should escape from the cowled Hobgoblins, came across this line [Aeneid, 3]:
Heu, fuge crudeles terras, fuge littus avarum
Leave now at once these lands so barbarous:
Leave now at once these shores so avaricious.
And he escaped safe and sound from their hands.
‘There are hundreds of other examples, too long to relate, whose outcomes fell out in conformity with the verdict of the lines encountered through such lots.
‘Nevertheless, since I do not want you to be taken in, I have no wish to infer that such lots are infallible in every case.’
How Pantagruel shows that the use of dice for lots is unlawful
CHAPTER 11
[Beaux dés, (‘fair dice’) commonly led to a pun on baudet, (‘donkey’). Making light use of dice in games of semi-serious prophecy was rejected by Rabelais as evil. For him the devil is a force to be reckoned with. The Book of the Pastimes of the Fortune of Dice must have led to ructions amongst those who took it even semi-seriously, since it claimed to reveal adulteries, secret affaires and so on. Rabelais’ propaganda is hostile, advocating the total suppression of both the book and its illustrations. Interestingly, if the numbers thrown by the dice in this chapter were to be used in combination with that book they would give the right result: Fanurge’s marriage would be a disaster! Pantagruel is prepared to use dice in combination with Virgilian lots, since, by such means, yes-or-no advice or even a limited number of possible answers are not imposed by the cast of the dice by the thrower. (How Roman Law allowed of the use of dice is treated later, from Chapter 39 onwards, apropos of Mr justice Bridoye.)
When consulting lots a wise man stays calm and awaits their replies with indifference.
Sixteen is considered a favourable number in tali and tesserae.
In royal tennis a fault costs fifteen points.]
‘It would be quicker,’ said Panurge, ‘and more expedient to throw three donkey-dice.’
‘No,’ replied Pantagruel. ‘Such lots are misleading, unlawful and a real scandal. Never trust in them. That cursed book On Pastimes with Dice was long ago devised by the fiendish Calumniator in Achaia near Bura, where, before the statue of Hercules, he would lead many simple souls astray and tumble them into his snares; he does so still in several places. You are aware that Gargantua my father has outlawed it in all his kingdoms, burnt it – woodcuts, illustrations and all – and completely banned it, suppressed it and destroyed it as a most dangerous pestilence.
‘What I say of dice applies similarly to tali, which are an equally misleading form of divination. And do not cite against me that lucky cast of tali which Tiberius made into the fountain of Apona at the oracle of Geryon. Tali are hooks by which the Calumniator draws simple souls to everlasting perdition.
‘To satisfy you, though, I would certainly agree that we should cast three dice on this table: then, from the total of the points thrown, we shall select the line of verse on the page you have opened. Have you any dice in your purse?’
‘A game-bag full of them,’ Panurge replied. ‘Dice are the sprig of green which wards off the devil (as Merlin Coccai states in his second book of The Land of the Devils). The devil would indeed catch me napping if he surprised me without dice.’
The dice were brought out and cast.
They fell showing five, six and five.
‘That makes sixteen,’ said Panurge. ‘Let’s take the sixteenth line of verse on the page. I like that number and believe our encounters will prove lucky, If I don’t screw my future wife that often on my wedding-night I shall go and bowl through all the devils like a ball through a set of skittles – ware devils who will! – or a cannon-shot through a battalion of infantrymen.’
‘I’m sure you will!’ replied Pantagruel. ‘There was no need to make so horrific a vow: Your first go will be a fault – which counts as fifteen – and when you get up in the morning you will correct it, by such means scoring sixteen!’
‘Is that how you understand it?’ replied Panurge. ‘Never has a fault been served by that valiant champion which stands sentry for me in my lower belly. Have you ever found me amongst the Confraternity of Faulty Deliverers? Never! Never! To the very end never! I do it without a fault like a Father, a blessèd Franciscan Father. I appeal to those I play with!’
When those words were said and done, the works of Virgil were brought in. Before opening them, Panurge said to Pantagruel:
‘My heart is thumping about in my bosom like a mitten. [Just feel my pulse in this artery of my left arm! From its rate and intensity you would think that I was being battered defending a thesis at the Sorbonne!]
‘Before we go any further, do you think we ought to invoke Hercules or the Tenitae, those goddesses who are said to preside over the lots’ own chambers?’
‘Neither the one nor the others,’ replied Pantagruel. ‘Just open it with your nail.’
How Pantagruel, with Virgilian lots, explores what marriage Panurge will have
CHAPTER 12
[The line cited from Virgil (Fourth Eclogue, 63) was known for its difficulty. In his interpretation Rabelais follows the commentator Servius in a standard note.
The legal erudition in the final paragraph may be found in the same work of Tiraqueau exploited in the previous chapter. It constitutes one of the principal guides to the structure and meaning of this Third Book. Once Roman Law had duly allowed a recourse to lots, that was the end of the matter: there was no appeal, Fortuna having no superior to whom an appeal can be made. Rabelais refers to the relevant Roman laws with the standard abbreviations of his time (in this case simply as L. ult. C. de leg. and L. Ait praetor, § ult. de minor. Such abbreviations, once absolutely standard, are expanded here to make them pronounceable.
There is echo of an adage of Erasmus: Adages, I, V, XXXIX, ‘Not even Hercules against two’.]
Whereupon Panurge, on opening the book, fell upon these words in the sixteenth line of the verse:
Nec Deus hunc mensa Dea nec dignata cubili est
Not worthy at the god’s table to be fed,
Nor have a place within the goddess’ bed.
‘That is not in your favour,’ said Pantagruel. ‘It means that your wife will be a slut and consequently you a cuckold. The goddess who will not be favourable to you is Minerva, that most redoubtable vi
rgin, that puissant goddess who hurls thunderbolts, that enemy of cuckolds, paramours and adulterers, that enemy of lewd wives who break faith with their husbands and abandon themselves to other men.
‘And the god is Jupiter, hurling thunder and lightning from the heavens. You will know that, according to the teachings of the Etruscans, the manubiae (as they used to call Vulcan’s thunderbolts) pertain exclusively to that goddess – take for example her engulfing in fire the warships of Ajax, Son of Oileus – and to Jupiter whose brain-child she was. It is not licit for the other gods of Olympus to hurl thunderbolts: that is why they are less redoubtable to human beings. I have more to tell you, which you will take as being distilled from high mythology.
‘When the Giants undertook their war against the gods, at first those gods laughed at such enemies and said that their pages could deal with such matters. But when they saw Mount Pelion already piled on to Mount Ossa by the labour of the Giants, and Mount Olympus already prised loose to be set on top of them both, they were all terrified. So Jupiter summoned a general meeting of his Chapter.
‘There it was decided by all the gods that they would valiantly prepare their defences. And since they had seen many battles lost by the hindrances caused by women in the midst of armies, it was decreed that they would drive for a while out of Heaven and into Egypt and the confines of the Nile all those crappy sluts of goddesses disguised as weasels, stoats, bats, shrews and similar metamorphoses. Minerva alone was retained in order to hurl thunderbolts together with Jupiter, being the goddess of letters, war, counsel and execution, a goddess born clad in armour, a goddess redoubtable throughout Heaven, air, sea and land.’
‘Guts upon guts!’5 said Panurge. ‘Am I to be a Vulcan such as our poet talks about! No! I’m not lame as Vulcan was, nor a coiner, nor a blacksmith. My wife will perhaps be as fair and comely as that Venus of his but not a slut as she was. Nor shall I be a cuckold. That ugly old hop-along was pronounced a cuckold by a sentence of all the gods and in view of them all.
Gargantua and Pantagruel Page 46