The last two years seemed to flash before her eyes bringing with them endless questions. Did Collin truly wish to be chief? Would her people allow a McCray to lead them? If he were chief, would he continue to train the women?
And what of Caelen? Would he expect her to be subservient to him? Would she be expected to be nothing more than an ornament on his arm, to keep her thoughts and opinions to herself? She’d been chief of Clan McPherson for far too long to give up her independent and blunt nature.
All at once she began to feel as though she were in the middle of the ocean doing her best to keep her head above water. ’Twas a terrifying sensation that left her lightheaded.
Caelen was standing before her, his dark brown eyes twinkling with hope and anticipation. She suddenly found herself mute, overwhelmed with all the possibilities that now lay at her feet.
Caelen’s eyes never left hers as he spoke over his shoulder to the men that surrounded them. “Leave us.”
The men scattered like dead leaves in the wind.
William’s suggestion made Caelen’s heart nearly leap from his chest. Finally, he and Fiona were given choices. A way for them to be together without her breaking her vow.
He had expected her to answer with a gleeful and resounding ‘aye’, for the prospect of having her as his wife made him exceedingly happy. The longer she remained mute, staring up at him as if he were a terrifying apparition, the more he began to doubt that she truly loved him.
If she had loved him as much as he thought she had, she would have jumped into his arms and smothered him with kisses.
Instead, she stood mute and looked quite terrified. Was it the prospect of being his wife that made her reluctant to say ‘aye’, or something more?
After sending the men away, he took an apprehensive step forward. “What holds ye back from sayin’ ye’ll be me wife?” he asked softly. Holding his breath, he waited for her answer.
“I want to be with ye, Caelen, but this be no’ an easy decision to make.”
He let out the breath he had been holding, feeling dejected and miserable. “Then ye do no’ love me as much as ye said ye did. No’ as much as I believed.”
Fiona placed a hand on his arm. “I do love ye, Caelen,” she said. “’Tis why I could no’ marry Bhruic MacKinnon. I could no’ imagine spendin’ the rest of me life with anyone else but ye.”
He searched her eyes for something, any glimmer of hope that would make his heart start beating once again. “But no’ enough to give up bein’ chief,” he said as he turned away. He couldn’t bear to look at her whilst she tore his heart from his chest again.
“Nay, that be no’ true either,” she said in a soft voice. “I do love ye more than bein’ chief. But ’tis no’ a simple thing to do. I only have questions, Caelen.”
He glanced over his shoulder at her and shook his head. “There should be no questions. ’Tis either aye or nay, Fiona.”
He heard her scoff at his back. “Is it truly?” she asked with more than just a hint of sarcasm and frustration. “Tell me then, Caelen, if I were to ask ye to give up bein’ chief of yer clan, would ye say ‘aye’ without a moment’s hesitation or without questions?”
He spun around to look at her, so that she could see the depths of his own frustration. “I would.”
Fiona could not have been more surprised had he hit her over the head with his sword. Certainly he was not being completely truthful.
“I was takin’ ye back to me keep to discuss just that,” he told her. “I have no children, no heirs of me own. If anythin’ were to happen to me, Kenneth becomes chief. I was ready to appoint him chief of Clan McDunnah to be with ye.”
Her mouth nearly hit the ground. “Ye jest.”
He shook his head as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Nay, I do no’. If the only way to be with ye is to give up bein’ chief, I was fully prepared to do just that. And there has never and would never be a woman to grace God’s earth to make me even contemplate such a thing.”
His genuine sincerity was unmistakable. Fiona could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice and felt it in the way her heart pounded against her breast. He was telling the truth. He was ready to give up everything to be with her.
The joy at learning it was overwhelming and uncontainable. Tears pooled instantly as she closed the space between them and flung herself into his arms.
She hadn’t realized until he said it, that he’d give up everything to be with her, that that was what she needed to hear to push her over that fine line she’d been teetering on. All she needed to know was that he was willing to sacrifice to be with her. Why that was so important to her heart she could not fathom, but it was.
“Aye!” she exclaimed as she planted kisses over his cheeks. “I’ll marry ye!”
She could feel the weight of his frustration melt away as he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tightly. Excited, relieved, she continued to plant one happy kiss after another over his cheeks and forehead and even managed one on the tip of his nose.
“Are ye certain?” he asked as if he did not believe the moment was real.
Fiona pulled away to look him in the eye. ’Twould have taken a team of horses to pull the smile from her face. “Aye, I be certain,” she said before quickly adding, “but there will be conditions.”
Caelen quirked a brow slightly. “Conditions?”
Fiona nodded her head. “Aye. Fer one, I’ll no’ be some meek, subservient wife who never speaks her mind or keeps her opinions to herself.”
“I can live with that,” he said with a smile.
“And I’ll no’ give up me swords or knives.”
“I’d never think to ask such of ye,” he said as he placed a tender kiss on her lips.
Her breath hitched ever so slightly when his lips touched hers. She was on to him then. He had probably already come to the realization that he could disarm her with his lips alone. She continued with the list of her demands. “Ye’ll never take a mistress and ye’ll never raise yer hand to me in anger.”
“I’m no’ quite as tetched as people claim me to be. I ken that ’twere I ever to even think of takin’ a mistress ye’d gut me without question. As fer raisin’ an angry hand to ye? I’ve seen what ye can do with knives and I be wantin’ no part of that,” he chuckled before placing another tender kiss on her lips.
“As long as we be in agreement,” she told him playfully before resting her head against his chest. Some of her demands were of an intimate nature and she could not look him full on while making them. “Please promise me, Caelen, that if ever I disappoint ye, ye will no’ quit comin’ to me bed.” ’Twas a combination of prayer and plea. The thought of Caelen never coming to her bed made her heart ache. ’Twas a humiliation she had suffered through once before, with James, and one she never wanted to repeat.
“I do no’ plan on us havin’ separate chambers, Fiona. I plan on fallin’ asleep in yer arms each night and wakin’ in them each morn,” he said then placed a kiss on the top of her head.
The weight of the world that had been resting on her shoulders began to lift. She didn’t want to simply be his wife. She wanted to be his partner, his friend and his only lover.
“I do have one request, Caelen,” she said as she pulled away to look at him. He looked tired but relieved, worn out but happy. What torment had he suffered these past many days? “I would like to remain here, after we marry, until we learn who is behind these attacks and murders. After that, we will go to yer keep and live out the rest of our days.”
His brow raised ever so slightly. “So ye will be the one to give up yer chiefdom?”
“Aye,” she said with a nod. “’Twas enough fer me just knowin’ ye were ready to give up all to be with me. Yer clan needs ye, Caelen. Ye’ve been chief far longer than I. Collin will be a good and just leader and he’ll no’ let Clan McPherson fall.”
There was no hiding the relief in his eyes. Fiona drew her lip in to keep from laughing at him. Aye, he may very wel
l have been ready to give up all just to be with her, but she knew ’twas a last resort on his part. ’Twas simply enough to know he’d been willing.
“When would ye like to post the banns?” she asked.
As quick as a blink, desire began to smolder in those big, brown eyes of his. It made her heart flutter and her stomach turn warm with anticipation.
“We’ll no’ be postin’ banns,” he said. “I be certain the priest has no’ left yet. If we hurry, we can marry in less than an hour.”
He was tetched. “But ye need to bring it before yer clan and I need to bring it before mine. Me clan will want to discuss the matter and they’ll need to vote Collin as chief. We need time—”
He stopped all further protests with a hot, passionate kiss that stole her breath away along with her good sense. Her heart beat so rapidly she thought it might climb its way out of her chest. She grabbed his sleeves with sweaty palms and hung on for dear life.
The decision on when to marry would have been made sooner had Caelen stopped kissing her long enough to listen. Fiona had made several attempts at reasoning with him. But each time she made a point on why they could not marry immediately, Caelen would pull her close and kiss her until she was breathless and quite tempted to have her way with him, out in the open field.
She finally realized that any endeavor to discuss the matter with him was futile, she came to the conclusion that he was as stubborn as she. He would accept nothing less than marrying her this very day.
“Verra well,” she said after breaking away from his lips. “If ye wish to marry this day, then we shall.” ’Twas not a complete lie. If they could find a way to manage it then she’d have no qualms. Arguing with the man was pointless, however, he might listen to her advisors and her brothers.
With a victorious grin, he said, “I knew ye’d come to see things my way,” he said as he pulled her toward his horse.
She’d allow him to believe what he believed. There was no sense in letting him know that the only way she’d marry was with her clan’s blessing. And since there was no way to garner that out here in the open field, she was forced to relent long enough to get back to her keep.
With very little effort, he lifted her up and sat her on the saddle. Happily, she held the reins and waited for him to climb up behind her. “We shall go find the priest,” he said as he took the reins from her hands.
Her insides trembled. They had only experienced the wonders of each other once before, and only for a few short hours. Now she was looking at a lifetime of exploration and loving the man. The possibilities were endless and for the first time in a very long time she found herself looking forward to the future.
3
As soon as they arrived back at the McPherson keep, Caelen gave orders for Phillip, Kenneth and ten of their men to return to McDunnah lands. Kenneth had drawn the short straw leaving it up to him to give Burunild the news of Fiona’s acceptance to Caelen’s proposal. They would also send messengers to Angus and Nial, informing them of the news and asking them to come to the McPherson keep at their earliest convenience.
Caelen did not want to let Fiona out of his sight. There was still someone out there who wanted to bring harm to them. Who knew what might happen next and he was not about to take any unnecessary chances with her safety.
Pulling three men from his group, he gave the order that they were to watch Fiona at all times when he was not present. “But do it in a manner that she does no’ ken yer doin’ it,” he told them.
The three men cast wary glances at each other before the shortest of the three spoke. “And should she catch us and gut us, do ye promise to raise me two bairns as yer own?”
Caelen couldn’t blame them for being concerned. Fiona had proven time and time again that she was as accurate with a blade as she was fierce. “Nay, I do no’ promise such. So ye best make certain she does no’ discover ye.”
Caelen left them to tend to their horses whilst he went to watch over his betrothed.
The wedding feast was well underway by the time they returned to the keep. Brodie looked like death warmed over so Fiona ordered him to bed. For once in his adult life, he did not argue. Not wanting to take away from the celebration for Alyse and Bhruic, Fiona, Caelen and her brothers entered through the back entrance. The sound of music and merriment spilled out from the gathering room and into the halls. There was too much to be done and no time to spare in celebrating with the newlyweds.
Fiona waited in her study while William and Caelen helped Brodie up the back staircase and Collin went in search of Fiona’s advisors. She hadn’t been alone long before Isabelle and Mairi came rushing in, their faces alight with unrestrained glee.
“William has told us the wonderful news,” Mairi said as she and Isabelle rushed toward Fiona. Teary eyed, they hugged her ferociously.
“I knew ye loved him!” Isabelle exclaimed. “I knew we’d find a way fer ye to be with him.”
Fiona offered them a weak smile as she broke the embrace. “Do no’ get too far ahead of yerselves. We still need approval from the clan.”
“Ply them with enough whisky and they’ll agree to anythin’,” Isabelle said, sounding most serious.
Mairi rolled her eyes at Isabelle. “Yer clan loves ye, Fiona. None will argue that ye deserve to be happy. They all love Collin, though no’ as much as they love ye. But they’ll no’ argue, I be certain of it.”
Fiona prayed that Mairi was right but would not give over to any gleeful feelings until she was standing before a priest exchanging vows with Caelen. “I fear too much has happened these past weeks to believe all will go smoothly.”
Mairi and Isabelle scoffed at her remark. “Do no’ worry it, Fiona,” Isabelle said. “One way or another, ye will marry Caelen.”
Fiona shook her head, not quite as confident as her sisters-in-law. “I pray yer right.”
Fiona and Caelen presented a united front as they stood side by side in front of her desk to speak to her family and advisors. Fiona stood in stark contrast to the man she loved. She looked magnificent in the beautiful green gown whilst Caelen was travel-worn and road-weary. Even though he was covered in dirt and grime with mud caked on his boots and trews, she still thought him a most handsome and desirable man. With his shoulders back and the look of sheer determination on his face, no one would guess that he’d not slept much in the past days.
Andrew, Seamus and Richard sat at the table, along with Collin and William and waited for Fiona to begin, though some were far more patient than others. Andrew drummed his fingers against the top of the table while Seamus sat with his arms crossed over his chest. No doubt they were in a hurry to get back to the celebration.
“I be no’ certain what Collin or William has told ye, but there be somethin’ we need to discuss.”
Richard, ever the grump and grouser sat glaring at Caelen. “Whatever it be, if he be involved, I’ll no’ like it.”
Caelen, never known from backing down from a fight or letting an insult go unchallenged, wasn’t about to change now. Though he did temper his retort by not knocking the man off his chair. “I will be marryin’ Fiona. And I do no’ bloody care if ye do no’ like it.”
Richard’s eyes turned as wide and round as trenchers. He looked to Fiona. “Ye canna be serious?”
“Aye, I be serious, Richard. I’ll step aside and would like to see Collin made chief,” Fiona told him. She had expected some pushback from him, mostly because Richard was usually the hardest to convince when any new idea was put to him. And he simply liked to argue.
He looked both surprised and disgusted. “Ye truly want to marry him?” he asked, with a nod toward Caelen. He pushed himself to his feet as his big hands curled into fists.
“Aye,” Fiona offered him a smile. “I do.”
“And yer willin’ to give up all that ye’ve worked fer, to be with him?” Richard asked. He sounded as though he’d just tasted something repulsive and wanted to spit it from his mouth. “Yer a fool.”
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��I do no’ see where she be givin’ up anythin’,” Caelen said as he took a step toward Richard. “And I do no’ like that ye speak to yer chief with such disrespect.”
“Caelen,” Fiona spoke to his back. “Richard and I have always spoken with brutal honesty to one another. I value his opinion and that he does no’ try to coat his words with honey.” She hoped her words would smooth Richard’s temper as well as Caelen’s.
“Ye can speak yer mind without bein’ disrespectful,” Caelen told Richard.
“Ye be the chief of Clan McDunnah, no’ McPherson,” Richard reminded him. “I do no’ take orders from anyone but Fiona.”
Fiona quickly stepped between the two men before they had a chance to come to blows. “Aye, Richard, ye do take orders from me and I be tellin’ ye to take yer seat. Now.”
Richard’s eyes had turned to slits as his face began to turn red with anger. Reluctantly, he sat back down and continued to glare at Caelen.
Fiona turned her attention toward the other people in the room. “I ken how me family feels about this union and now, we ken how Richard feels. I would like to hear from ye, Seamus and Andrew.”
Seamus and Andrew cast sidelong glances at one another before Seamus began to speak. “Be this what Collin wants?” he asked, directing his question to Collin.
“In truth, I never thought this day would come,” Collin answered. “If this be what Fiona truly wants, then I have no choice but to step in to her place.”
Fiona found his answer confusing. “Collin, if ye do no’ wish to be chief—”
Collin raised a hand to quiet her. “Nay, ye misunderstand me, sister. I want to make certain that ye truly do wish to marry Caelen and that ye will no’ regret this decision in the future. Ye’ve been a fine chief, Fi, and I fear though, that I be no’ as prepared as I wish. I never thought ye’d step down and ’twill take some time to get used to it.”
Caelen's Wife, Book Three Page 2