“Sin, are you sure you want to do that?” Jamie asks. “You know how many don’t make it through to the end.”
I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. “I might not be able to take it for me, but I can take it for her.”
“This is so fucking stupid.” Mitch slams his hand on the table. “Dad! Tell him he can’t do this.”
“I agree it’s the only solution that will be accepted by the brothers. It sets a high standard for what is expected. They will respect him for such a sacrifice and it’ll prove his genuine belief that Bleu will be a trustworthy member.” I think I see pride in my father’s eyes. “This is the decision of a true leader.”
Abram is clearly pissed off. He’s losing this battle—as well as his footing at the top—and we both know it. “Someone call Ferguson and tell him to meet us at the black site. We have a new initiate for him.”
Alec Ferguson secures two metal chains around my wrists. “I don’t want to do this to ye, boss.”
I’m sure he doesn’t. No one in their right mind would want to beat their future leader within an inch of his life.
The thing about your brothers is that you’ve known them your entire life, unless they’re initiates. It makes it a little more difficult to inflict pain on someone you once played tag with. “It’s fine, Alec. No worries. I’ll not hold it against you.”
The chain tightens when he uses a pulley to lift my arms over my head. “I shouldn’t be doing this. It doesn’t feel right.”
“How is Shona? I’ve not seen her in a while.”
“She’s large,” he says. “Our third is due in three weeks but I don’t think she’ll last till the end of the week. They tell us we’re getting a girl this time. Shona’s really excited about buying little pink dresses.”
“Then congratulations are in order.”
Alec married Shona several years ago but I can’t recall the circumstances of their union. “Was your marriage arranged or did you pick your wife?”
“We chose one another. Her father didn’t care for me much, though. He thought she could marry better—someone more like Jamie or Leith.”
“Do you love her?” I ask.
“Verra much.”
He pulls the chain until I’m on the tips of my toes—and prosthesis. I’m not sure how this is going work out. “What wouldn’t you do to have Shona in your life?”
“There’s nothin’ I wouldn’t do for her or oor babies.”
He locks the chain in place so I’m dangling like a side of beef in a meat house. “Then you must understand why I’d voluntarily do this. I chose to take my lass’s place, to endure the pain intended for her, so she doesn’t have to suffer for a life she’s yet to fully understand.”
“I get it now, boss.”
“I hope the brothers do as well.”
“They’ve been a bit outraged by ye sneaking around with the American. They feel betrayed but what ye’re doing now is going to change everything about the way they feel. No one in a leadership role has ever done something like this. Ye’re choosing to lower yourself from a place of high regard to obtain their permission instead of forcing it on them. This is ye asking your people to approve of a lass ye trust. This will sit well with the brothers.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
“Whether ye realized it at the time, this is a verra good decision for ye.” He grins. “And it doesn’t hurt that ye’ll get your lass. She’s a bonny one, that Miss Bleu.”
“Yes, she’s very bonny, indeed.” I can tell he’s preparing for the first blow. “No special treatment. This is being recorded as proof for the brotherhood. I don’t want anyone to claim I had it easy. My only request is that you not hit my left leg below the knee. It still requires therapy.”
“Of course. I trust ye’re familiar with the process?” Alec asks.
“I am.” It’s been years since I’ve attended an endurance, but I remember how brutal they are. “Let’s begin. I’m ready to get this over with.”
The first blow is to my lower back, right over my left kidney. “Uhh… ” It hurts so badly, I almost piss myself.
“Sorry, boss.”
“No apologies every time you strike me or this could take all night. Keep going so we can get it over with quicker.”
“As you say, sir.”
The next blow is over my other kidney. I think it hurt worse than the first blow. “I should probably expect to piss blood for a while, wouldn’t you think?”
“Probably.”
I turn my face as I take a punch to my left eye. It’s not as bad as the kidney jab. I guess boxing has made me immune to being hit in the face. Then he hits the opposite side. Warm ooze trickles down my face.
“Think about it this way, boss. When ye get yourself all healed up, your lass is going to be real good to ye for taking this for her.”
I’ll have her and she’ll be mine. That’s all I can think of right now—until Ferguson’s fist lands in my gut. Then, all I can think of is that this is only the beginning.
Chapter 23
Bleu MacAllister
“I don’t understand why Sin’s not back. He’s been gone for over three hours.” I make another visit to the front window to look for any sign of him. Nothing. “I know he said he could be gone all night but what could they possibly be discussing for so long?”
Isobel sits on the sofa reading the latest celebrity gossip magazine. “Who knows with Abram?”
“I take it you don’t care for him much?”
“Not at all.” She stops reading and places her magazine on the cushion next to her. “I believe he’s a sociopath. He has no regard for anyone or anything. He doesnae feel any kind of remorse for his actions and often displays violent behavior.” She’s done her research.
After entering the Bureau, I found a place to study the criminal mind, particularly sociopaths and psychopaths, since I strongly suspected Thane was one or the other. I felt it necessary to learn the way his mind worked if I was to successfully blend into his world.
I believe most members of The Fellowship are at least borderline sociopathic because they are able to form an attachment to a group while having no regard for society or its rules. They aren’t full-blown because they’re able to hold jobs and stay in a single place on a long-term basis. Psychopaths are a different animal.
“Have you considered Abram to be a psychopath, rather than a sociopath?”
“I’m not sure I understand the difference.”
“Psychopaths can’t form emotional attachments or feel real empathy with anyone. They often have very charming personalities, are very manipulative, and easily gain trust. They pretend to have emotions, yet they don’t feel them. Some are so good at manipulation that their families never suspect their true nature.”
“My God! That’s probably the best description I’ve ever heard for Abram. Ye just described him tae a tee. How do ye know all that?”
“I originally majored in psychology.” Lie.
My phone vibrates and I hear my text tone. “Finally! I can’t believe he’s just now updating me.”
This is what Sin’s willing to do for you. For his sake, I hope you’re worth it.
What does that mean? “He sent a video and a text message.” I read it to Isobel.
“Someone else sent that.” Isobel streaks to my side. “Play it.”
I touch the triangle in the center of my phone and the video begins playing. It takes a moment before I realize what I’m looking at.
It’s Sin. He’s strung up from the ceiling, hanging lifelessly. A man I’ve never seen is punching him repeatedly and he barely reacts. “What the hell are they doing to him?” She turns away. “Isobel! Why is that man hitting him? The message says he’s doing this for me. I don’t understand.”
“It’s called endurance. It’s a test one must go through tae prove his strength so he may be considered for membership if he’s not been born and raised in The Fellowship.”
This doesn�
��t make sense. “But Sin was born and raised in the brotherhood.”
“Yes, but ye weren’t.”
“I’m confused about what’s happening.”
“It’s only a guess but I think he may have negotiated yer induction into The Fellowship.”
“What?”
“Any person wishing to join from outside the circle must take and pass an endurance test to be accepted. I think he’s volunteered as yer substitution.”
“No! I don’t want him to do that.”
“Clearly it’s too late, judging by that video.”
The call came from Sin’s phone so I immediately dial his number, knowing he won’t be the one to answer. “I see you got my message, dear.” I assume I’m talking to the psychopath himself.
“Please stop this madness, Abram. I don’t want Sin to do this for me.”
“Because you don’t want him to suffer, or because you don’t want to be part of The Fellowship?”
Neither. “I’ll do my own endurance.”
“We’re almost finished, sweetheart. Sinclair isn’t in much shape to object but I don’t think he’d appreciate us stopping so we can start from the beginning on you.” Has this been going on for three hours?
“Wait a minute, dear,” Abram says. “He’s trying to say something. What was that, Sinclair? I couldn’t understand you… Oh, I think that was a no. He’s barely conscious so it’s hard to make out what he’s saying.” I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to suffer for me.
“Should Thane bring Sin home with him? Or would you prefer we drop him at his flat?”
I look at Sin’s mother. “Thane is there.” I can’t believe a father would watch this happen to his son.
“Wait a minute,” Abram says. “He’s trying to say something else… the best I could make out was ‘home.’”
Yes, I’m sure he’ll be more comfortable in his own bed. “Send him to the flat. I’ll be there waiting.”
“As you wish, sweetheart.”
I’m numb when I end the call. I’m further convinced Abram is a psychopath. He sounded as though he was enjoying what was happening to Sin. “I have to go. I need to prepare everything for him. Can you call Sterling to drive me home?”
“We’ll both go,” Isobel says. “I’m not sure ye’ll be able tae handle him by yerself.”
“I should call Jamie.” From the looks of Sin on that video, he’s going to need some medical care as soon as possible.
Sin’s best friend answers on the first ring. “I’m with him, Bleu.”
My level of anger multiplies. What is wrong with these people? What kind of father and best friend sit back and watch that? “You’re with him while they’re beating the shit out of him? And you’re not doing anything to help him?”
“He chose this for a very specific reason but he needs to be the one to explain why.”
I feel absolutely horrid. “Do you have any idea how it makes me feel to know he’s suffering in my place?”
“You should be very proud. It’s an honorable thing he’s doing for you.”
These people are out of their minds. Why would I be proud or honored by his suffering? “Well, I’m not. It’s killing me to know he’s in excruciating pain and I’m the cause.”
“It speaks multitudes about his feelings for you,” Jamie says. “He basically took a beating to prove how much he loves and trusts you.”
“He could’ve just said so instead. That would’ve been a lot easier.”
“He’s going to be fine, Bleu.” Jamie laughs but I find nothing humorous. “I’ll give him something for the pain as soon as they’ve finished. You should expect him to be out of it by the time he’s home.”
The last time he was out of it, he was in such bad shape I nearly lost him. “Promise me you’ll take care of him, Jamie.”
“I swear.”
I’m looking out the front window of Sin’s flat watching for headlights when Isobel catches me off guard. “Has ma son told ye he loves ye?”
“No.”
“He doesnae have tae say the words for it tae be so.” She hesitates a moment. “It might not be something ye’ll ever hear from him.”
“I tried to tell him I love him tonight, but he stopped me when he realized what I was about to say.” I smile. “He put his finger to my mouth and told me to save it for a happier occasion.”
“He wants it tae be special when ye say it for the first time. That’s rather romantic.”
“Yeah.”
“Ye don’t understand oor ways, so this must seem terribly barbaric tae ye. It isn’t. This thing he’s done for ye is an act of true love. Right now, ye can’t recognize its beauty for the ugliness, but ye’ll come tae understand how truly beautiful this is.”
It’s impossible for me to see the beauty of his body being battered to a pulp.
“Sinclair has zero experience with love. He had no examples to watch as he was growing up. Be patient with him.”
“I think he’s doing a pretty fantastic job.” I come to attention when I see headlights on the street but they pass the building without stopping. “He wants to have a relationship with you.”
“I know. And I have ye tae thank for that,” Isobel says.
“I haven’t done anything special.”
“Ye’ve brought me and my eldest back together. I didn’t know that was possible after all the years we spent apart. I thought Thane had made him hate me the way he does.”
“Did you always hate one another?” I ask.
“No, Thane loved me when we were first married. I was the one in love with someone else and I blamed him for keeping us apart. Ma coldness eventually turned him into a different person—one nobody could love.” That isn’t true. I’m certain my mother loved Thane.
It’s a peculiar thought—that she could’ve been in love with a monster—until I remember who I love. Am I not following in her footsteps? Is Sin not a younger version of his father?
“Would ye care for tea?”
It looks as though we’ll be waiting a while longer. “I would.”
I turn to leave the window and Isobel gets up from her seat. “No, lass. I’ll take care of it. You keep watch.”
A moment later she comes into the living room carrying a tray. “Ye take two cubes and a dash of milk?”
“Yes.” She remembers from the few days I spent at her house while Sin was in the hospital.
I stir the hot tea, trying to cool it faster.
“Bleu, do ye ever wonder why ye’ve allowed yerself to get mixed up in this lunacy?”
“I’d be lying if I said no. But then I think of Sin and I know exactly why.” I bring my tea to my lips to try a small sip but it’s still too hot. “He’ll be in bad shape, won’t he?”
“Aye—and probably for a while. He’s going tae need ye by his side.”
“There’s no way I’d leave him.” I couldn’t if I wanted to.
“Good.” A smile spreads on her face. “He’ll draw strength from having ye near.”
Halfway through the cooling tea, the caffeine adds jitters to my already trembling hands. “It probably wasn’t the best idea to drink this. I’m nervous enough as it is.”
“It’s going tae be a long day and ye’ve not slept. Ye’ll need the fuel.”
I hear the distant sound of a closing car door. I place my teacup on the edge of the cocktail table and rush to the window. “They’re here.”
I go to the door and stand in the entrance waiting for them. I want to scream in horror when Jamie and Mitch bring Sin into the flat.
He’s bloody from head to toe. His face is swollen and distorted. I almost need convincing this is my Sinclair because this person looks nothing like him.
The only positive aspect is that he seems relaxed, not at all guarded. “You gave him something?”
“Aye. Morphine.” Thank God. “Where are we going?”
“I have the bed ready for him.” I knew he was going to be a bloody pulp so I removed our new beddi
ng and replaced it with the old.
Sin drops like a rock onto the bed. I’m not sure if it’s from exhaustion or the effects of the narcotic.
“He should sleep for several hours but you’ll need to give him more pain medicine before the other wears off.” Jamie takes a syringe from his bag and places it on the bedside table. “Give him this injection around eight so you can keep him ahead of the pain. It’s difficult to get it under control if you wait too long to dose again.”
What the hell? He’s placing too much faith in my nursing abilities. “I don’t know how to give him a shot.”
“There’s nothing to it.” He places his hand on Sin’s hip with his thumb and index finger spread into a wide V. “Hit it in the center. Pull back on the syringe. If there’s no blood, you’ll advance the plunger. Piece of cake.”
I guess it might be for someone who’s been trained to do it. “Piece of cake, my ass!”
“Do you want him to be in pain?”
He knows I don’t. “Of course not.”
“He took this beating for you, so you’ll be the one to suck it up and give him the morphine shot.” Well, that’s one way to make me feel even worse.
“No worries. She’ll do it,” Isobel tells Jamie. “I’ll help her through it.” I have a feeling this isn’t the first time Isobel has taken care of an injured member.
“It’s been a long night, ladies, so I’m going to sleep in the guest room. If anything happens, don’t hesitate to wake me.”
Sin’s filthy. I won’t let him lie in dirty, bloody clothing. “He needs to be bathed. Will you help me get him out of his clothes?”
“It’s probably easiest tae cut them off,” Isobel suggests.
“Agreed.” No way I’m attempting to launder anything on his body. I may even have a small bonfire out back.
Isobel returns with a pair of kitchen shears and holds them out for me. I start at the hem of his pant leg, working my way up. I hear her sharp intake of breath when I expose his prosthesis. “My God. His leg has been amputated.”
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