She frowns. “I just got my period.”
“Oh.” I hope she doesn’t feel like we’ve failed. “It wasn’t possible for you to get pregnant then. You would have ovulated before the first time we had sex since you’re getting your period today.”
Her head tilts. “It’s so weird that you know that. I’m a woman, and I don’t even know that kind of stuff about my own body. How did you get so educated on conceiving a baby?”
I guess that kind of information does sound odd coming from me. “It’s my duty to get you pregnant. My father taught me conception 101 before I claimed you.”
“You don’t seem disappointed that I’m not pregnant.”
“I’ll get to stay balls deep inside you in a couple of weeks when you are ovulating. Nothing disappointing about that, doll.” That brings a smile to her beautiful face.
“I guess the upside to not being pregnant is that you get to keep trying.”
“That’s a very good way of looking at it.” I hold out my arms for her to come to me, and I pull her onto my lap once she’s within arm’s reach. “I’m going to wrinkle your suit before you even get to work.”
“Don’t care.” I wrap my arms around her and squeeze. “What time are you meeting everyone at the bridal shop?”
“Ten o’clock.”
“Should be an interesting day for the bridal shop employees. Three brides. Three appointments. You’re all getting married over a three-week period, and you’re all related in one way or another.”
“I hope none of us fall in love with the same dress. That would be a tragedy.”
“I see Shaw going for a dress that makes her look like a princess. One with the big skirt on the bottom.”
“That’s a ball gown. Not my style and I don’t think it would be Ellison’s either.”
Good. I’m not a fan of those kinds of dresses. “Don’t choose anything too sexy or revealing. I don’t want to have to kill anyone for having impure thoughts about my wife.”
“But I want to look good for you.”
“And you will. You’ll be beautiful in whatever dress you choose, but I’d like it to cover your body. I don’t want you to walk down the aisle with your tits bulging out of the top or the dress to be so tight that it shows the brothers every curve you have. Those are for my eyes only.”
“I’ll choose a dress that makes you proud to take me as your wife.”
I bring her hand to my mouth and kiss it. “Thank you.”
“I’m not looking forward to the exchange that could happen between Ellison and my mother. I hope Mum doesn’t act like a total bitch.”
Westlyn is heartbroken because her mother renounced her brother over his marrying Ellison. And I don’t like to see my mate hurting.
“Do you think she can control herself enough to not act like a bitch?” Because from what I’ve seen of Torrie Breckenridge, she couldn’t stop if she tried. She is what she is, through and through.
“I’m not sure, and I’m terrified that she’s going to ruin this appointment for Ellison.”
“Ellison is marrying your brother and is therefore an extension of our family. Don’t be surprised if my mum takes a stand against Ellison being mistreated.” Torrie had better mind her behavior. My mum won’t hesitate to put her in her place.
“Isobel was already going to be there to support Shaw because she’s marrying Mitch, but Bleu has asked her to also serve as Ellison’s mother figure since their mother is dead. If Mum misbehaves, Isobel won’t hesitate to slap her silly. And probably enjoy it.”
“I like Isobel. I feel I owe her a debt for setting me straight about you.” When I left that first treaty meeting, I was planning to force-claim Westlyn when I returned to the compound. Had zero idea that I would have been raping a virgin. I was so angry because I believed her to be a whore and would have no doubt been rough with her. I could have unknowingly injured her. All of that makes me cringe inside when I think about it now.
“She changed my mind about you as well.”
I’m still wondering what might have happened between Isobel and my father. “I think Dad may have had some kind of relationship with your aunt.”
“What do you mean?”
“They knew each other before they married. He looked like he’d seen a ghost when he saw Isobel at the meeting with The Fellowship council. He wouldn’t stop looking at her.” It made me feel weird seeing him stare at her, like it was a transgression against Mum. “And then when she got into the car with us, they both said that it was good to see each other again. And he called her Issy. I can’t imagine a casual acquaintance calling her by that name.”
“Isobel always hated Thane. She was in love with someone else when she was forced to marry him. She always blamed Thane for causing her to lose the love of her life. I wonder if that man was Lennox.”
“I think it could be. And that could make for an awkward situation at the bridal shop if my mother knows they had a relationship.” I think my mum and dad tell each other everything, so I’m certain she would know.
“If they did, it was over a long time ago. And we know that your father has been loyal to your mum. I think it’ll be fine.”
“I agree. My mum has been married to my dad for twenty-nine years, and they have five children together. She isn’t going to be upset over a fling that might have happened before they married.”
“Have you had any flings that I should know about? Any relationships that were more than just sex?”
“No.”
“You’ve never loved a woman?”
“Never.” But I think I may be beginning to.
Chapter 18
Westlyn Breckenridge
It’s done. Ellison and Jamie are man and wife. I’m thrilled for them… but disheartened for myself.
I will marry Kieran Hendry a week from today, but I won’t see adoration in his eyes as I walk down the aisle. His face won’t alight with pure love and reverence as he makes me his wife.
And that’s what I want. His love.
I’ve fallen for the man who claimed me as his own. My mate. My husband. What a fortunate circumstance that should be, but it’s not. Not when my love is unrequited.
I’m staring out the window, watching the streetlights zoom by, when Kieran reaches for my hand. “What’s wrong, doll?”
“Nothing.”
“We don’t lie to each other.”
How do I tell Kieran the truth? That I love him and want his love in return when I’m not even sure that he’s the loving kind.
“Tell me what’s bothering you.”
“Seeing Ellison and Jamie together tonight made me see what I won’t have on my wedding day.”
“Tell me what it is, and I’ll get it for you.”
I hesitate, biting my lip, gathering my courage to say the words. “A husband who loves me.”
I’ve knocked Kieran for a loop. How do I know that? Because he doesn’t reply. Not a single word. I turn to stare out the window again, disappointed when I see that he’s not even going to try to pacify me with pretty words.
It’s late and I’m exhausted by the time we return to the compound. Things between us are awkward, and neither of us say a word as we go inside. Still no words while we fall into our bedtime routine.
I’m wearing one of my long gowns, and as usual, Kieran isn’t wearing a stitch when he gets in bed beside me. We’ve had sex every single night since he claimed me, except for the days I had my period. I wonder if he believes that he’s entitled to sex tonight.
He’s not.
I turn off the light and lie on my side, my back to him. I don’t say a word. I’m afraid I’ll burst into tears… and I would hate that. Hate for him to see me being weak… because he doesn’t love me.
I feel the wetness collecting in my eyes. I squeeze my lids tightly, hoping to stop it, but it only makes the tears fall down my face. Dammit. Kieran has never seen me cry, and I don’t want him to now either.
I’m not that girl… the one wh
o is weak and whiny and weepy.
He turns off his bedside lamp, and we lie in the darkness. More silence, except for our breathing and my occasional sniffle.
At least ten minutes have passed when Kieran says, “I feel more for you than I’ve ever felt for any woman.”
Maybe that’s supposed to make me happy, but it doesn’t “How many women have you ever been in love with?” I already know the answer.
“None.”
“You’ve never felt anything for a woman, but with me you feel more… than… nothing. Wow. That makes me get all kinds of butterflies in my stomach.” I wish he hadn’t said anything at all.
“I didn’t say that I feel more than nothing for you. Those are your words.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. It matters very much because you’re unhappy. I don’t want you to ever be unhappy, not even for a second.” He moves closer and wraps his arm around my waist. Nothing sexual. Just an affectionate embrace. “I’m falling for you, doll. I feel it happening more and more every day.”
“Are you?” I hate the desperate hopefulness I hear in my own voice. I sound pathetic.
“I am.” He snuggles closer. “Love is like a rose. It blooms at the perfect time when it’s at its most beautiful but only after being nurtured. That’s what our relationship needs: to be nurtured so it can bloom when it’s at its most beautiful.”
You don’t expect poetic words like those to come from the mouth of a killer. “That’s a good way of putting it.”
“Do you love me, Westlyn?”
Surely he knows that I do. I wouldn’t bring this up if I didn’t. He says that he’s falling for me. That’s different from loving me, and it’s not fair for him to ask me to declare my love for him. “You don’t get to ask me that.”
“I do get to ask you that. Tell me. Do you love me?”
I could lie and say no. I could refuse to answer one way or the other. But what’s the point? “Yes.”
“Say it.”
“No.” It’s cruel of him to ask that of me when he can’t say it back.
He turns on the lamp, pushes me to my back and gets on top of me, his eyes staring directly at mine. “I want to hear you say it.”
I close my eyes, press my lips together, and shake my head. Defying him. “I won’t give you that satisfaction until you’re able to say the words in return.”
He lowers his forehead to mine. “Please, Westlyn. I can’t recall in twenty-eight years ever hearing those words said to me. You’d be the first to say them.”
We are so much alike, he and I. Both of us yearning to be loved.
It’s a pain I know all too well. Kieran doesn’t know that I’ve never been told those words either, or how desperately I too want to hear them. I understand his deep pain, and that is why I can’t withhold those words from him although I already know I won’t hear them in return.
I open my eyes and look at those dark orbs staring at me. They’re black like his heart and soul, but I want to be his light so that he doesn’t have to remain alone in the dark. “I love you.”
He closes his eyes for a moment and then opens them. “Say it again. Please. With my name.”
“I love you, Kieran.”
“Those words… they do something to me, Westlyn. I can’t begin to explain it.” He closes his eyes and softly presses a kiss to my mouth. “Things are changing between us. Growing… blooming. We’re becoming so much more than two people who are marrying to bring peace to our brotherhoods.”
It’s not an I love you, but I’ll take it.
For now.
He deepens our kiss and gently rocks against me. “I want to make love to you. No fucking. No trying to make a baby. Just you and me connecting. Getting closer.”
Well, withholding sex from him tonight is out of the question now. Who could say no to that? Not this girl.
I wrap my arms around his shoulders and nod. “Make love to me.”
I stand on the platform in the bridal shop for my final fitting before I marry Kieran in three days. I can’t believe it’s been almost a full month since a hood was placed over my head, and I was tossed into the back of a limo to kneel before him. My master. That’s what he called himself. And to some degree he is, because he certainly does own me.
Mo chroí. That’s what he is. My heart.
“Looks like a perfect fit,” Isobel says. I asked her to come with me today because I’m angry with my mother and humiliated by her behavior. I’ve personally witnessed her being inappropriate toward Lennox, and I strongly suspect she may have made a pass at him in private. I don’t think he would take her up on her offer. Kieran assures me that people from The Syndicate are faithful to their mates. No exceptions.
He is a handsome man, but he’s married to Arabella. She has no right to proposition him. There are plenty of men within The Fellowship who don’t have wives. But that’s not what my mother would want. She’s hungry for power and position, and Lennox has plenty of that.
This is the first time I’ve been alone with Isobel since Kieran and I discussed her having a past relationship with his father. I wonder if I’d offend her by asking about it. “Kieran says that you and Lennox know each other.”
“We did a long time ago.”
Arabella didn’t act strangely toward Isobel, but it’s possible she doesn’t know about their prior relationship. “Is Lennox the man you were in love with before you married Thane?”
“Ye know about that, huh?” Isobel grins. “Lennox’s older brother, William, and I were in love.” William will be the leader of The Syndicate after Douglas Hendry dies. “My father thought a match with Thane was more beneficial. I was heartbroken. I spent a lot of years blaming Thane, and eventually he came tae hate me as much as I hated him. Oor relationship, however, has improved over the last year. We tolerate one another, and sometimes we’re even cordial.”
I’ve seen a change in their relationship. They do seem to tolerate one another more. I think sharing grandchildren has helped to soften them toward each other.
“William will be at my wedding.” With his wife.
“Yes, he will.”
“Have you seen him since you were married off to Thane?”
“No.”
“Do you still love him?”
“I will always love William, but that doesnae matter. I’m married. He’s married… and people from The Syndicate don’t stray. Not even those in leadership roles.” Isobel forces a smile and holds out my veil. “I want tae see ye in this too.”
The bridal shop attendant sees us struggling with the placement. “Let me help you with that.” Feels like she places at least a dozen pins in my hair. Totally unnecessary; I’m only trying it on.
“You look beautiful. You’re going to take Kieran’s breath away.”
I hope he doesn’t think it’s too sexy.
“Delivery for Miss Breckenridge,” a man says as he walks toward me carrying a large bouquet of flowers. It’s odd that I would have a delivery to the bridal shop. Must be from Kieran since he’s the only one who knows I’m here right now.
Isobel cuts off the man. “I’ll take those. Dinnae want her to soil her wedding dress. She’s getting married in three days.”
“No, she isn’t.” The man shoves the flowers at Isobel, knocking her to the floor, and the seamstress screams and backs away from me. He rushes at me with a raised knife, and I lift my arms to shield myself. I instantly feel the sharp burn of his knife slicing through my flesh. Feels like a nightmare happening in slow motion.
White. Red. Black.
It happens in that order.
The white wedding dress saturated with red blood and black taking over my vision.
Chapter 19
Kieran Hendry
I’m looking at The Order’s ledgers, and the shite doesn’t add up. I strongly suspect that someone is skimming off the top. Wouldn’t be the first time that has ever been done. Also wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been asked to
step in and rid the brotherhood of a thief.
Why can’t these fucking people just do what they’re supposed to do with honor? It would make my job so much easier.
My father appears in the doorway of my office. “Son, you need to get your M24.”
I don’t question. I just react by going to the gun cabinet and removing the case that houses my favorite sniper. “Only the M24?”
“Take the Magnums too. I’m not sure what we’re dealing with yet.”
He comes to my gun cabinet, and I pass the Magnum cases to him. “What do you think has happened?”
“We’ll talk about it after we get going.”
My father doesn’t give me time to ask any questions once we’re in the car. “Load now. We’ll talk after you finish.”
Shite. That’s weird. He always briefs me while I prepare.
“Yes, sir.” I finish with the last Magnum and place it on the seat. “What’s going on?”
My father hesitates, and that’s when I know something bad has happened. Something personal. Something that involves me. “A man came into the bridal shop and attacked Westlyn.”
I’m not a man who is easily frightened, but I’m fucking terrified right now. “Is she…” Alive? I can’t bring myself to say that word.
“She made it through.”
I bring the coiled side of my fist to my mouth. I cough, trying to clear the lump I feel there, but it doesn’t move. My voice breaks when I ask, “What did he do to her?”
“I don’t know the details. Only that he used a knife.”
He cut my doll. “Where is she?”
“The Fellowship Infirmary. Jamie and Ellison are treating her wounds.”
I’m sure Jamie is an excellent doctor, and I’m certain he’ll only give the best care to his sister. I’m grateful for that.
“I wish I knew more, but Isobel was very distraught when she called, and the conversation was very short.”
My father and I don’t speak further during the remainder of the drive to The Fellowship Infirmary, and the silence feeds my fear. The limo barely stops before I’m out of the car and running toward the house that The Fellowship has transformed into a place to treat their wounded.
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