“Who do you think it could be?”
Sin shrugs and holds out his hands, palms up, with his elbows on the table. “Someone within law enforcement? An Order member? Who the fuck knows?”
“You could always force him to tell you?”
“Placing the barrel of a gun in my professor’s face isn’t a wise choice.”
I didn’t go to college. I don’t have any suggestions for how to handle professors.
Sin turns up his glass, taking another large gulp. When he finishes, he puts the glass on the table, and his eyes focus on something behind me. “A good fuck. That’s exactly what I need after the shite day that I’ve had.”
I turn around to see who he has set his sights on, hoping like hell that it’s not Lorna behind me. But it is.
Fuck.
“Lorna’s closing tonight. Both of us are. We won’t get to leave until after the last customer is gone.”
“What time is that?”
“Never know. It could be midnight. Could be two or three. Depends on how late the brothers want to drink.”
“Well, fuck. I can’t hang around waiting that long.”
“You can have your pick of any woman you want. There’s at least a dozen in here right now that you could take to the back.” No joke. Fellowship women spread their legs for Sinclair Breckenridge with no questions asked. He doesn’t even have to try.
“Yeah, sure. I guess that I can pick one of them for tonight.”
Thank fuck. I was scared shitless for a minute that he was going to go after Lorna before I’m able to talk to him about ending our arrangement.
“I have something to discuss with you and Jamie.” And the sooner, the better.
“What is it?”
I’m not broaching the topic here. Too many ears. “Let’s meet at the gym in the morning. We’ll talk about it there.”
“In the ring?” he asks.
“Sure. I’m game if you are.”
“I’m always game. You know that.”
I can’t contain my laughter. “What I know is that you’re a cocky shithead who believes he’s always game.”
“I am a cocky shithead but with good reason. You’re lucky that this cocky shithead is your best mate. Otherwise, you’d get knocked on your arse more than you already do.”
“You wish you could knock me on my arse.” I gesture to his near-empty glass. “Want another one, you cocky shithead?”
He picks up his glass and tosses back the remainder. “Only one more. A single this time. I’ve got to study for an exam when I get home.”
“A single coming right up, mate.”
There have been times throughout our lives when I have envied Sin for one reason or another. His place at the top of our brotherhood. The way he gets whatever he wants. The way everything in his life always seems to align perfectly. But those days of envy are over. I’ve won Lorna, and for once I’m the one who is getting what he wants.
All it takes is a single lift of my finger, and Kenrick pours another whisky for Sin. To my surprise, my baby brother is turning out to be a great addition to the pub.
“Johnnie Walker. Black label. Excellent taste,” Maisie says when she places the glass on the table in front of Sin.
“I have excellent taste in all things,” Sin says.
Maisie lifts her left brow. “I don’t think so.”
“You don’t think so?”
She shakes her head. “Your taste in women is poor.”
“What leads you to believe that?”
“Because you’ve never tasted me.”
“And what are we going to do to rectify my obvious mistake in overlooking you?”
Maisie is new to the pub. She’s young and doesn’t understand that playing with Sin is the same as playing with fire. But she’s distracting him, and his attention isn’t on Lorna so I won’t intervene.
“I’m scheduled to work until ten.” Maisie widens her eyes at me. “But I’m sure that it would be okay for me to go now if I were leaving with Sin?”
“Sure. Go ahead and clock out.”
Sin studies Maisie’s arse as she walks away. “How old is that girl?”
“Old enough.” Although I doubt that her father would agree. But he’d never take on Sin for fucking his daughter. No brother would.
“Have you fucked her?”
Maisie came to work at the pub after I fell in love with Lorna. The only interest I have in her is if she shows up for work or not. “Never touched her.”
“Has Jamie?”
“Not that I’m aware of.”
“Can you manage without her?”
“Aye. I’ve got Lorna and Moira. And Kenrick.” And even if we were snowed under, I’d be a barmaid myself if it meant Sin’s attention was on someone besides Lorna.
Sin picks up his glass and swallows the remaining whisky. “I hope she isn’t one of those women who has it in her head that she’s going to make me fall in love with her because she gives me some pussy.”
“I couldn’t tell you one way or the other, mate.”
Sin pushes away from the table and stands. “I guess I’m about to find out what kind of woman she is.”
I go back to my place behind the bar, and I’m instantly pissed off when I see the stacks of dirty glasses in and around the sink. “Kenrick. Come here.”
I had to step into the role of father for Kenny six years ago after Dad died. I never complained about the responsibility. Not once. But he’s eighteen now. Sure, he still has a lot of maturing to do, but he’s not a wee lad anymore. It would be nice if we could interact as though I’m his brother rather than his parent.
“What are you doing, man?”
He shrugs. “What do you mean?”
“You’re down there talking to Rodrick Lester’s daughter like you don’t have anything better to do.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but while you were over there shooting the shite with Sin, I made every drink that left this bar.”
“Making drinks isn’t your only responsibility.” I flick my hand over the sink. “Look at this damn mess. There must be at least fifty dirty glasses here, and they’re not going to wash themselves.”
He lowers his voice. “Come on, dude. I don’t want Kameron to see me washing glasses.”
“We’re bartenders. Washing glasses is part of what we have to do or we’ll run out and then we can’t serve drinks. Use your head, Kenny.”
“Can’t Lorna or Moira or Maisie come back here and do it?”
“No, they can’t.”
“Why not?”
At this point, I shouldn’t have to explain the way this pub runs. “Maisie has to leave early. Moira is slammed. And Lorna is…” I look around the room searching for her. “Lorna is?”
“I sent Lorna to the stockroom for a bottle of Dimple, and she never came back. Henderson is still waiting for his drink.”
“How long has she been gone?”
“I sent her back there right before you and Sin left your table.”
I’ve been back at the bar for at least five minutes. Probably closer to ten.
I point at the sink. “Wash these glasses. Now.”
“Where are you going?”
To find my girl. “To get the bottle of Dimple.”
“If you see Lorna, will you ask her to help me wash these? She’ll do anything for you,” Kenny calls out.
I meet Maisie in the hallway on the way to the stockroom. “Thanks for doing this, Leith. I’ll make up the time by staying late another night.”
I go to the toilet. No Sin.
My office. No Sin.
Fuck.
Fuck.
FUUUCK!
I break into a run and then stop dead in my tracks when I reach the stockroom door. I wrap my hand around the knob and turn it but hesitate for just a second before opening it. I’ve never had a more sickening feeling in my gut.
I push the door open and Lorna’s eyes meet mine. But Sin’s don’t. Because he’s too busy fuc
king her against the wall.
Sin. Is. Fucking. Lorna.
My best friend is fucking my girl.
They’re having a one-on-one behind my back.
I thought that I was the only one she was seeing outside of the group. Because I believed that she loved me. Believed that we were going to be together. Believed that we were going to be Mr. and Mrs.
I was wrong. So. Fucking. Wrong.
Lorna never loved me.
She never chose me.
I step out of the storage room, closing the door behind me. I need a barrier between us. Right now. Something to block my view of what’s happening on the other side.
The pain in my chest is spreading. The agony isn’t contained only within my heart. The torment is being pushed throughout my body with every beat, making me ache all over.
I go to my office and close the door. It’s a barricade between us, but it isn’t enough. And that’s when I close the door on every hope and dream I had for my future with Lorna. And I close the door of my heart, locking it so that it never opens again.
I skip pouring the whisky into a glass and turn the bottle up, taking a long drink that requires several gulps to get all of it down. It burns my throat, but I welcome the sting. I know that it’s the only remedy for my suffering.
A knock at the door interrupts my fourth big gulp of whisky. “Go away. I’m busy.”
Lorna opens the door and stands in the doorway. My fucking mistake. I should have locked that motherfucker, but I didn’t think she’d have the nerve to come in here and face me.
“Leith…” She stops and shakes her head. “I didn’t—”
I interrupt her because I can’t bear to hear anything that she has to say about fucking Sin in the storage room. “You didn’t take the bottle of Dimple to Kenrick. He’s still waiting on it.”
She comes closer and stands in front of my desk. “Leith, don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what, Lorna? Act as though I didn’t just see the woman I…”
I look away from her face and stare at the bottle of Ballantine’s on my desk because I can’t bear to look into her eyes. “Your break is over. You need to get back to work.”
She stands in front of me, unmoving. Silent.
“Shut my door on your way out.”
“We have to talk about this.”
I hear the desperation in her voice, but it means nothing to me. “Actually, we don’t have to talk about it. Because there’s nothing to talk about.”
I’ve played the fool one too many times. But it won’t happen again. Ever.
Her hands go to her mouth, forming a cup to cover it, but it doesn’t stop the cry that escapes. “I’m so sorry.”
“Leave. Now.”
She walks to the door and turns, stopping in the doorway to look at me. As she stands there, I wonder what must be going through her mind. Is she laughing on the inside because she fooled me into believing that we could have a life together? Is she regretful that I figured out she was doing the same thing with Sin behind my back? Does she care that she has shattered my heart into a million pieces?
“I get it. You’re upset. I’ll give you some space for now, but we’re going to talk about this tonight after everyone leaves.”
“No. We. Aren’t. I don’t want you to EVER bring this up again. And if you do, I’ll fire you. Now get the fuck out of my office.”
When she’s gone and I’m alone behind a closed door, I beat the palm of my hand against my head because I can’t stop replaying the image of Sin and Lorna in my head. And I do something that I’ve not done since I was a child.
I fucking cry.
Tears need whisky, so I pick up the bottle of whisky and chug down as much as I can before I’m forced to take a breath. And that’s what I continue to do until I see the bottom of the empty bottle.
But it doesn’t make the ache go away.
And I’m afraid that it never will.
Chapter 1
Leith Duncan
Present Day
I’m twenty-eight, single, fucking celibate, and despised by the woman that I love. The woman that I’m obsessed with. The woman that I’ll never get out of my head. I know this because it’s been four years and I haven’t been able to forget her. Not even for one single second.
This is my life.
My miserable, depressing life.
I’m surrounded by all of my best friends at this birthday party, and I can’t help but compare where they are in life versus the hell that I’m living in.
Sinclair Breckenridge. He has it all. A happy marriage to a beautiful, not to mention badass, wife. Two healthy, rambunctious sons. A sweet-tempered, precious wee daughter. Three bairns already but I doubt that they’re done there. They’ll probably have another one on the way soon. Another heir to the Fellowship brotherhood.
Fuck. How perfect can one person’s life be?
Jamie Breckenridge. The dumb fucker deprived himself of the woman he loved for a long time because he thought he wasn’t the one for her. Bastard couldn’t have been more wrong. Now, he has a wife who is both beautiful and intelligent. They work as a team every day, side by side. She may not be a doctor, but she’s as talented and brilliant as Jamie is when it comes to medicine. I’d let her stitch me anytime.
Mitch Breckenridge. Newlywed. His wife was a treaty bride from The Order. She’s young but a real firecracker. He says that she wants to fuck all of the time, which is fine by him. I’m certain that means that they’ll be announcing a pregnancy any day now, especially since it’s his duty to bind their union with a child as quickly as possible.
Kieran and Westlyn Hendry. Fuck, what a rocky start those two had. He abducted her and she became his treaty bride. Now, they have a baby on the way and act as though they couldn’t be more in love.
And then there’s Lorna Frazier. Once my lover and one of my best mates. She’s the love of my life. It doesn’t matter how much time passes. Four years or one hundred and four, she will always be the only woman in my heart.
Sin and Bleu. Jamie and Ellison. Mitch and Shaw. Kieran and Westlyn. All of them had struggles in the beginning, but now they all are so fucking happy. Is it too much to hope that my struggle with Lorna will end and we will find the same happiness?
A great marriage. A loving family. A happy life. That’s what I was supposed to have with Lorna. Now, she can hardly bear being in the same room with me.
I lie in bed sometimes, actually a lot of times, and retrace the stages of our relationship. Oddly, I prefer to think of the days when we were children, long before the sex ever began. Our mothers were best friends, and I spent a large part of my childhood with Lorna. She felt like a little sister to me.
Until she didn’t.
A fist punches my upper arm about the same time that I hear Bleu’s voice. “You’re staring.”
Fuck, I’m caught. “What exactly is it that you think I’m staring at?”
“You know very well that I’m not referring to a what. It’s a whom.”
I suppose there’s no need in trying to deny it. At least not with Bleu. “You are too observant for your own good.”
“Probably.”
“I can’t help it. I only get to see her at Fellowship events.” And I’m trying to memorize everything about the way she looks tonight. She avoids me like the plague, and I have no idea when I’ll get to see her again.
“How long since you’ve spoken?”
“The night of Ellison’s inception.” And that conversation went nowhere quickly. Once again, she ran away and wouldn’t listen to me.
Bleu sucks air in through her teeth. “Wow. It’s been that long, huh?”
“Aye.”
“This battle between the two of you has gotten out of hand.”
It was beyond out of hand a long time ago. “I’ve tried to talk to her about it. You know that I have, but this thing between Lorna and me has gone so far off the rails that I’m not sure it can ever be steered back on to the right path ag
ain.”
“The last four years have been a series of you hurting her and her hurting you. You’ve each played your part but enough is enough.”
“I don’t how to fix it.” If I did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.
“You have to talk to her.”
And say what that I’ve not already said? “Talking to her proves to be impossible when she won’t listen.”
“Make her listen.”
“I don’t know how to stop her from running away from me.” Aside from tying her down.
“Try having a normal discussion, one that doesn’t include the past. Every conversation with her doesn’t have to be about begging for forgiveness. Just keep it casual. Ask her what’s going on in her life. She has a new job and she’s excited about it. I bet that she’d love to tell you all about it.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t had a casual conversation with Lorna in a very long time.”
“Stop being a pussy, Leith.”
“Bleu Breckenridge… I can’t believe that you just said that to me.”
“Well, then you don’t know me near as well as you think.” She shakes her head. “I’m sick of watching her hurt. Same with you. If you two can’t get your shit together, then at least agree to stop this bullshit and move on with other people.”
“I’ll never move on with another woman, and I won’t be able to bear watching her be with someone else.” I would have to leave The Fellowship if that ever happened.
“Then get your ass over there and start making things right with her again.”
“I’ll try.”
“Trying isn’t acceptable. Do it. Now.”
“You’re right. I have to make this happen.” Or I’m going to be miserable for the rest of my life.
“Good luck.” Bleu holds up both hands. “Fingers crossed.”
Lorna is holding one of Sin’s twins on her hip. Her hand is clasped around his and she’s swaying back and forth, dancing with him while singing along with the song that the band is playing.
Seeing her sway to the music reminds me of the last time that she and I danced. We were so happy that evening. Neither of us had any idea that it was all going to go to shite the following night.
Complete Sin Box Set Page 113