Maddock is handsome and second in line to becoming leader of The Order once Arabella and Lennox pass the torch. It’s difficult to believe that the women within his brotherhood aren’t fighting for the chance to be his wife.
“I believe you’ll find the opposite to be true with Fellowship women. When word gets out that you’re looking for a wife from our brotherhood, you’ll have your pick of any woman you want.”
“Maybe I’ve already chosen the woman I want.”
No need to play coy like I don’t realize that he’s talking about me. “How can you choose me when you don’t know me?”
“Kieran didn’t know Westlyn and Shaw didn’t know Mitch, but their marriages couldn’t be more perfect. They are in love and happy and that’s what I want: a wife I can fall in love with. And I think that could be you.”
“Most people who choose each other don’t even have the kind of chemistry that those two couples have. They got lucky; their marriages could have just as easily gone the other way.”
“Are you saying that you believe it would go the other way for us?”
Shite. This conversation is getting deeper than I intended. How do I handle this without raising red flags?
“I think both people have to be open to the possibility of what can happen in order for the marriage to work.”
“You aren’t open to it?”
I don’t think it’s wise at this point to come right out and tell Maddock that I’m not open to marrying him. It’s better if he decides on his own that he doesn’t want me.
“That’s not a question I’m prepared to answer tonight.”
“Are you a lesbian?”
I turn and look at him, my lips parted as I try to come up with a response for his unexpected question.
“I’m not a man who likes to have his time wasted. If you’re a lesbian, then there is no reason to pursue this any further.”
For a moment, I consider lying. His believing that I’m into women would put an end to this nonsense. But there’s always room for complications when lying is involved. It could cause more problems than it fixes.
“I’m not a lesbian.”
“You’re twenty-six and unmarried.” Well, thanks for pointing out the obvious. “Why is that?”
“Marriage hasn’t been in the cards for me yet.” But I’m holding out hope that it will be soon.
“How long since your parents died?”
“Almost five years.”
“Thane and Sinclair should have found a match for you years ago.”
I don’t like the way this man presumes to know what I need or don’t need. “I’ve made it just fine without a husband.”
“You sound just like Shaw before Mitch became her husband. Her opinion changed quickly after they married, and I suspect that yours would too.”
More assumptions, incorrect ones. “I never said that I didn’t want to be married. Only that I’ve made it fine without a husband. There’s a difference.”
“I’m glad to hear that you aren’t opposed to marriage. How do you feel about children?”
“I want them. Several actually.” But not yours.
“That’s good to hear because I need heirs. At least one son, preferably two.”
If this is the way that he has spoken to the women of The Order, then it’s no wonder they aren’t falling at his feet. But if we’re going to discuss the requirements of a leader, then I have something to add to the mix.
“A leader needs heirs but he also needs a properly trained wife, and that’s not me. My father was a foot soldier. I wasn’t reared to be the wife of a leader.”
“Was Bleu trained to be the wife of a Fellowship leader?” Well, fuck. He’s got me there. “I think you give yourself too little credit, Lorna.”
“How can you say that when you don’t know me?”
“Bleu Breckenridge. Ellison Breckenridge. Westlyn Breckenridge Hendry. Your three best friends are married to men in leadership roles. You know more about being married to a leader than you might think.”
I don’t want to be married to a leader and give him heirs who’ll one day become the next leaders of The Order. I want to be married to a bartending pub owner, and I want our children to grow up and take over the family business.
“Why me?”
“Initially, my interest was piqued because you’re best friends with the other leadership wives. You’d fit in perfectly with them without even trying. But then the more that I heard Westlyn talk about you, the more curious I became. And now after having met you, I’m more intrigued than ever.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
Time to take control of this situation. “Did Westlyn tell you that I once worked as a barmaid?”
For now, I’m going to leave off the part about my brief employment at the topless men’s club, but I will use that to discourage him if need be.
“My sister-in-law made no mention of that. I was only told that you were a nanny for a Fellowship family.”
“I was until last week, but I had to leave my position. That’s why I’m temporarily living with Sin and Bleu.”
“What happened?”
I point to the bruise still lingering on my face. “I was assaulted by the brother who was employing me.” I hate referring to him as a brother. He’s nothing more than a fucking misogynist bastard.
“Did he rape you?”
“He tried. Lucky for me that I had been taught how to defend myself.”
“He’s been dealt with?”
“Yes. Harshly from what I’ve heard. He received no leniency.” Sangster is a crazy motherfucker, but he and my dad were friends. I’m certain that he must have taken a special kind of pleasure in delivering Wallace’s punishment.
“He doesn’t deserve leniency. Sexual assault is bad enough, but it’s twofold when a virgin is the one being violated.”
Wow. Just wow. He thinks I’m a virgin. And why shouldn’t he? That’s what proper Fellowship women do—save their bodies for their husbands.
Boy, I blew that archaic belief right out of the water. I went against everything that I had ever been taught by being with Leith, Sin, and Jamie at the same time. And I didn’t give a fuck in the beginning. But today? I wish so badly that I had saved myself for Leith.
I wonder what Maddock would say if he knew the truth about my past. Would he withdraw his proposition? I think he would.
“I’m jobless now.”
“As you should be. You’re a beautiful woman. You deserve to be taken care of and adorned with the finest that this world has to offer. Not mothering another woman’s children and certainly not breaking your back to serve ale to some drunkards.”
I don’t like not working. I don’t know what to do with myself. “I’d make a terrible pampered princess.”
“I’m sure you would be a fine pampered princess.”
“That’s because you don’t know me.”
“I don’t but I plan to.”
And I plan on him not liking what he learns about me.
I manage to dodge any further relationship talk at dinner and during the ride to the Hendry property, but I’m certain that my luck has run out when we reach the estate.
“You’ve been here to visit Westlyn?”
“A few times.”
“Good. Then there’s no need for a tour.”
Maddock leads me to the garden behind the house. It’s stunning. A perfect place to propose.
Oh fuck. That’s not what this is. Surely, it isn’t. It can’t be. Not so soon after meeting for the first time.
Don’t let him go there. Don’t let him bring it up.
“What is your contribution to the brotherhood?”
“I’m a hacker.”
“So you’re into computers and internet and technology?” Of course, he is. That was a stupid question.
“Aye. I use my knowledge of the cyberworld for the good of the brotherhood.”
“The Fellowship has a hacker in training.”
“Whi
ch is long overdue since the cyberworld isn’t new. Your brotherhood should have had a hacker in training years ago. They’re behind on the times. But I’m working with your new hacker to catch him up as quickly as possible.”
I shrug. “I don’t know anything about that kind of stuff. I’m just a barmaid.”
“You aren’t a barmaid.”
“I was for a long time. Over four years. It’s how most of The Fellowship brothers still view me—the barmaid who served them drinks while wearing a uniform that left little to the imagination.”
“You may be one of the most honest people I’ve ever met.”
“There shouldn’t be any confusion on your part about who or what I am.”
I inhale deeply and consider what I’m about to tell Maddock. I may be out of my mind, but I can’t let this go on any longer.
“You and I aren’t going to work out. I’m in love with someone.”
Maddock closes his eyes and brings his hand to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. I’m sure that he must be feeling as though I’ve dropped an unexpected bomb on him.
“This man must not be in love with you since you aren’t together.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Do you believe that he loves you?”
“I believe he does.”
I really don’t want to go into the specifics of my relationship with Leith and listen while Maddock dissects it, but I will if it helps him understand that my heart belongs to another.
“He hasn’t told you so?”
“Not yet.”
“Then he’s a fool.”
I don’t like hearing him call Leith that. “We’ve only recently reconnected after having spent years apart.”
“Then it’s not a new relationship? You have history with this man?”
“A long history. I’ve loved him for years. He’s the reason that I’ve never moved on and married.”
“And because your reconnection is so fresh, he hasn’t had the chance to claim you? Which means that Sinclair was obligated to send you to me when I expressed interest?”
I’m happy he’s putting the pieces of the puzzle together. “Correct.”
“Well, I must admit that this is disappointing to hear.”
“I’m one of many Fellowship women. You’ll have plenty to choose from. They’ll jump at the chance to be with you.”
“I may have choices, but what if you’re still the one that I want?”
What? Did he not hear a word that I just said? “That wouldn’t make sense; I love someone else.”
“But you’re still unclaimed. And as long as you remain single and I request your company, Sinclair is obligated to send you to me.”
Would he really be that cruel?
“Why would you do that when you’re aware of my feelings for another man?” It doesn’t make sense.
“I want a chance at winning your heart.”
“My heart belongs to him.”
“I think you believe your heart belongs to him, but until he marries you, your heart is untaken.”
“You say that because you’ve never been in love.” If he had been, he’d know that isn’t how it works.
“I’m not ready to give up on winning you.”
Winning me? Like I’m some sort of prize?
“You won’t give up even if another man is bedding me?”
“You wouldn’t taint yourself like that.”
“That statement alone proves just how little you know about me.” Shite. I shouldn’t have said that.
“This man has already taken your virginity?”
Sin refused to be my first. So did Jamie. Both said that they didn’t want to be anyone’s first because too many emotions were attached to it. They decided that Leith should be the one to take my virginity. And so he did. But that isn’t any of Maddock’s business.
“He hasn’t crossed any boundary that he shouldn’t.” This time. But he crossed plenty of them four years ago. And I hope that he crosses them again very soon.
“When a man loves a woman, he won’t taint her. You understand that, don’t you?”
“Of course, I do.”
He looks at me and sighs. “This man is a wrinkle in my plan that I wasn’t counting on, but I’m still going to call on you.”
“I don’t want that.”
“Then you’d better convince your man to marry you. Because if he doesn’t, you are obligated to me. And I’m going to make you mine.”
Chapter 7
Leith Duncan
She’s been with him for three hours—almost four—and I’m losing my fucking mind. I look at my phone on the coffee table for the thousandth time tonight and contemplate texting her again. But instead, I take another shot of Glendronach, twelve years.
This is bullshit.
I choose Sin’s contact and wait for him to answer. “This call is coming about two hours later than I expected.”
“She’s supposed to call me as soon as he brings her home.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, mate, except that she hasn’t come back yet.”
What the fuck could two people who don’t know each other be doing for so long?
“We need to talk about what I have to do so this doesn’t happen again.” Because my heart and sanity cannot take this a second time.
“There’s nothing to talk about. You know what you have to do.”
“Lorna and I need time so our relationship can happen at a natural pace.”
“Well, while you’re naturally pacing your relationship, you’ll be sharing her with Maddock if he wants to continue seeing her.”
Fuck no. “I can’t take this shite again. I’m losing my mind over here.”
“You hold all of the control, Leith. Claim her as soon as possible and announce your intentions. He can’t have her if you make it official. But leave things as they are and my hands are tied.”
I need to marry her and put an end to this. It’s the only way. Maybe it’s not on the timetable that I had in mind, but it’s still what I want most in this world.
Sin continues speaking but I don’t hear what he’s saying. I briefly take the phone away from my ear because there’s a knock at the door.
“Hey, someone’s at the door. I need to go.”
“It’s Lorna. Guarantee it.”
I hope like fuck that it is.
“Are we still meeting at the gym in the morning?” Sin says.
“Aye. Seven?” I think that’s the time we said.
“Make it eight. The babies have been sleeping a little later and I get to have my wife all to myself for a wee bit before they wake up.”
I bet he lives for those mornings when his kids sleep in. “Eight it is.”
I open the door and Lorna throws herself into my arms. “I was expecting a call, but this is so much better.”
“Oh, Leith. It was horrible.”
I pull away and look at her face. “Hey, hey. Are you okay? Did that bastard do something to hurt you?”
“No, I’m fine. But we have to discuss some things.”
“I know.”
The lighting hits her face when she comes in, and I can tell that she’s been crying. I better not find out that he did anything to her. If he did, he’s a dead man.
“Do you want a drink?” I sure as fuck do.
“Do you have the ingredients for a Scotch fizz? My version? I haven’t had a decent one since the last one you mixed for me.”
Feels like that’s been forever ago. “I should have everything.”
“If not, I’ll take whatever you’re having.”
I’m glad she wants a cocktail. Stepping into the kitchen to mix it gives me a minute away from her. A moment to calm my nerves and gather my thoughts concerning what’s about to happen. I truly believe that this conversation is it. The one to determine where we go from here. The rest of our lives is about to be decided.
I fill a glass with Glendronach two fingers high and turn it up. I drink the whole thi
ng, hoping that it will calm my nerves. And for good measure, I do it again.
“Scotch fizz, my special Lorna version.” For my very special Lorna.
She grins as she brings the glass to her plump pink lips and smiles around the rim as she takes a drink. “Mmm… I’ll let the missing cherry slide this time because the drink is so damn good.”
I sit next to her on the sofa and quiet sets in. My throat feels dry despite having just tossed back two glasses of Glendronach.
“We need music.” Maybe a little background noise will help ease my nerves.
“Some music would be nice but none of the head-banging stuff, okay? Something soothing.”
That’s a tall order to fill. “I’ll see what I can find.”
She takes another drink, a bigger one this time. Probably for the same reason that I just tossed back two whiskies.
I thumb through my music, choosing “Love is on the Way” by Saigon Kick. It’s heavier than what she likes, but it’s the best that I can do on short notice.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Actually, I’m fucking ecstatic.
“Me too.”
“Do you want to tell me about tonight?”
She nods and takes another big drink. “He took me to dinner, and then we went back to the Hendry estate.”
Fucker. “Did he take you into his private quarters?”
“No, the garden.”
I’m minimally relieved. I can deal with a conversation in the garden. “What did you talk about?”
“He made it very clear that he wants me.”
“That comes as no surprise.” What man wouldn’t?
“I told him that there was someone else. I thought that another man in my life might deter his intentions toward me, but he said that I was obligated to see him as long as I remain single.”
“Sin says the same thing.”
Her eyes leave mine and she looks down at the couch. “He told me that I was going to be his.”
“No the fuck you’re not.”
I take Lorna’s cocktail from her hand and place both of our drinks on the coffee table. I stand, tugging on her hands. “I want you to come with me.”
I hold her hand, leading her to my bedroom—the place where I feel most connected to her. The place where our bodies have joined so many times to become one. The place where I fell in love with her.
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