by Brenda Novak
And? Did the results reveal anything particularly worrisome?
No health issues. Just two new sisters.
Better that than discovering you carry the heart attack gene—or that you have a relative who’s a serial killer police have been trying to catch for years.
With the luck I’m having, that could still crop up...
Are you nervous about meeting your sisters?
Already met them, but I’m nervous to learn more. Whether my mother knows about them and, if so, why I was never told that I have siblings. Whether I’m truly related to the man who was my dad. If my new sisters are, too. How I’ll feel after I learn. That sort of thing.
Have you asked either of your parents?
My father died when I wasn’t quite two, so I can’t ask him. There’s just my mother and I, and I haven’t mentioned it to her.
Because...
Because Rosalind rarely talked about the past, seemed eager to forget it entirely.
Besides, there was something daunting about that kind of secret—one that struck at the very heart of Reagan’s identity and could possibly reveal a side of her mother she never knew existed.
Reagan wanted to figure out a few things first, feel confident that she had some answers of her own. She had open-heart surgery a month ago. Is still recovering.
I’m sorry to hear that. But maybe she’s been carrying this secret around for a long time and will find it a bit of a relief that you know.
That was a wise and balanced thing to say. She was impressed. But he had no idea how difficult her mother could be.
Why was she discussing this with him in the first place?
She supposed she needed someone to talk to who didn’t know her family or friends. That way, if he had loose lips it couldn’t be a threat to her. If it would be a relief, I think she would’ve told me.
I’ll take your word for it.
My life is complicated, she wrote, out of nowhere. In her current situation, basic honesty demanded it.
Are you trying to warn me away?
Maybe. Is it working?
Everyone’s life is complicated.
Is yours?
Would you ghost me if I said yes?
She frowned at his response. Although she wouldn’t have believed a denial, she would’ve preferred one. That depends on how complicated.
Fair enough. Before you count me out, let’s have a meal together, see if my imperfect meshes with your imperfect.
Why haven’t you given up on me?
Because I haven’t been able to forget the beautiful brunette I saw at the gala a few weeks ago.
She allowed herself a reluctant smile. She had to give him points for flattery and persistence. Okay. You ARE a glutton for punishment.
No. Just too confident to believe you won’t ultimately like me.
She laughed when she saw that after she’d thrown a version of his words back at him, he’d done the same to her.
So will you really contact me when you get back? he asked.
If you’ll tell me a little about your situation, I can answer that more honestly.
Ask away.
Do you still have a job?
Yes. Still an architect. Since I own the company and have been in business for twenty years, I think I’m going to stick it out.
Twenty years? That meant he was probably in his forties... Are you married? Divorced?
Married?
You never know...
You make saying I’m divorced feel good.
Any kids?
One teenage son—a junior in high school. I hope kids are allowed because he’s nonnegotiable.
Exactly what I would expect of a good dad. I have nothing against kids.
What about you? What’s your situation?
Never been married. No children.
Do you want a family? he asked.
I don’t know. Are you done having kids?
Some days I think yes. Other days I’d like a second chance to have a family that will last. So I’ll go with undecided.
She wanted to ask why his first marriage hadn’t survived, but it was too soon for that. He’d probably just blame his ex. That was what most people did.
Besides, her phone started beeping. Drew was trying to call in.
She stared at the picture she’d connected to his number—his handsome face, his Hollywood smile—which was covering her texts with Rally.
She desperately wanted to let Drew tell her they could undo what they’d done and continue working together, somehow pretend it had never happened.
But even if he said the words, she’d know they weren’t true. Sex with Drew had been one of the most all-consuming, enjoyable experiences of her life. They’d finally acted on what they’d been feeling for so long, and it had been an unparalleled release.
“Reagan, would you like a drink?” Serenity asked, calling up from below.
She’d stayed in her room for too long. She needed to go downstairs and be social, or at least help with dinner. She couldn’t withdraw and sleep for the next seven days, even if it was what she felt like doing.
“Sure. I’m coming,” she called back. But then her eyes returned to her phone and that incoming call from Drew.
Undecided will work. I have to go. We’ll talk more later, she texted to Rally.
By then, Drew’s call had transferred to her voice mail. She experienced a wave of relief when it did—but also a sharp jab of remorse. So when he called right back, she couldn’t resist answering. She had to hear his voice.
“Hello?...Hello?...Reagan, would you please answer? We need to talk.”
His name was on the tip of her tongue—along with so many other comments and questions.
But she forced herself to hit the End button without saying anything at all.
6
lorelei
NO MATTER WHAT Reagan and Serenity were doing—chatting, laughing, moving about the cabin or smiling at Lucy—Lorelei couldn’t help surreptitiously watching them. She felt like a sponge, soaking in every possible detail. She memorized their facial expressions, the sounds of their voices, their body movements. They were the only people she’d ever found who were genetically connected to her—besides Lucy, of course—and after seeking that familial connection for so long, it felt strange to be in their presence at last.
After Mark’s litany about how some people—a lot of people, at least the ones she’d met so far in her life—could be more of a curse than a blessing, however, and with what she’d learned about Reagan so far, she was hesitant to fully embrace them. She wasn’t resilient enough to take much of a risk right now, and she knew it. Not only had Mark destroyed the foundation on which she’d built her life, he’d destroyed any confidence she had in her ability to be loved.
So she was afraid—of loving the wrong person, of being rejected again, of being sorry she’d taken this risk.
Would coming here turn out to be a good thing or a bad thing?
She’d had enough bad things happen lately...
“Would you mind helping Reagan set the table?” Serenity asked, motioning to a drawer where Lorelei supposed she’d find the silverware.
“Of course not,” she said. Lucy was up on her knees at the kitchen table, putting together a puzzle Serenity had found in a box of old toys stored in the extra bedroom, which left Lorelei free to contribute. She was actually tempted to take over making the soup. Judging by the awkward way her sisters chopped the vegetables, she could tell that neither Serenity nor Reagan had much skill in the kitchen.
She, on the other hand, cooked often and loved developing recipes. At times, she even toyed with the idea of creating her own cookbook. Whenever she was bored or lonely, and she wasn’t thinking about finding her birth mother or father, she was dreaming about what she’d
put in a cookbook if she were ever to publish one.
But this wasn’t her cabin; it wasn’t her role to take over the cooking as soon as she walked through the door. So she merely did as Serenity asked.
“Well, here we are,” Serenity said after the ready-to-bake rolls were in the oven, the soup was simmering on the stove and they were sitting around the dining table sharing a bottle of wine.
“Yes, here we are.” Reagan held her glass loosely in her long fingers as though she was at some high-powered lunch in a swanky café. Reagan’s good looks, direct manner and striking confidence could be intimidating. That was another reason Lorelei had a hard time getting over the fact that Reagan was sleeping with a married man. Lorelei wanted to believe that someone with that much personal power couldn’t possibly be so fallible.
“Fortunately, we made it in spite of the weather,” Serenity said.
Serenity seemed like more of an intellectual—someone everyone would want to talk to at a dinner party. She was measured, reasonable, well-read and interesting. Right now she was obviously trying to make conversation. But Lorelei got the impression her sisters were frightened of what they might learn and what it could do to their lives.
She was the lone exception, in that she hadn’t been reluctant in the beginning. Because she’d known her background, she hadn’t been devastated by the news that she had surprise siblings; she’d been elated. After being passed around so much as a child—in and out of one foster home after another until she headed to college—she’d thought she was finally going to have the family she’d craved since she could remember.
Or a portion of it, anyway.
Be careful what you wish for, she thought as she sipped the Napa Valley Chardonnay Serenity had pulled from a cute metal wine holder on the counter.
When no one chimed in, Serenity began to turn the stem of her glass around. “So, I knew this might be awkward, but it seems we’re already facing something a little more difficult than just meeting for the first time.”
Lorelei felt her eyes widen as she looked up.
Reagan merely frowned.
“I hate to put you both on the spot,” Serenity went on, “but it’s important that we be able to trust each other and feel comfortable here this week. And the fact that the ride from the airport didn’t go so well is disappointing. What happened? We all seemed to get along online.”
Lorelei resisted the urge to shift in her seat. “Reagan and I simply...disagree on some fundamental issues, I guess.”
“Fundamental issues?” Serenity said.
“I wouldn’t say we disagree on those issues,” Reagan volunteered. “I screwed up, okay? I feel terrible about it. But at least I was honest. What more do you want from me? I could’ve lied, kept it to myself.”
“Maybe you should have,” Lorelei grumbled.
“Except I prefer to be real—and not some impossibly perfect version of myself. If you can’t accept me for who I am, what good is building a relationship with you in the first place?”
“Whoa! Wait.” Serenity lifted both hands. “What are you two talking about?”
Lorelei didn’t want to be the one to tell Serenity that Reagan was involved with a married man, but when she remained silent, Reagan went on the offensive.
“Lorelei found out her husband’s been having an a-f-f-a-i-r with her best friend, who is now p-r-e-g-n-a-n-t,” she said.
The spelling caught Lucy’s attention. She understood adults did that when they were trying to exclude her from the conversation. But she was so happy to be off the plane and out of the car she simply glanced around the table before going back to her puzzle.
“I can’t believe you just blurted that out.” Although she tried, Lorelei couldn’t keep the pique out of her voice.
Hearing it caused Lucy to look up again.
“I didn’t blurt it out,” Reagan responded. “I was careful to spell the more upsetting points.”
Lorelei folded her arms. “I shouldn’t have told you. It’s none of your business.”
“What’s wrong, Mommy?”
“Nothing, honey. Do your puzzle,” Lorelei said softly.
“I’m glad you did,” Reagan said. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t understand why you reacted the way you did to what’s going on in my life.”
“You mean, what you’ve done?” Lorelei cried.
Serenity interrupted. “What am I missing?”
After the information Reagan had revealed about Mark, Lorelei no longer felt any compunction about sharing Reagan’s situation. “She’s having an affair with her married boss.”
“You could’ve spelled some of that,” Reagan complained.
Lorelei gestured toward her daughter. “She doesn’t understand what an affair is.”
“That’s lucky for you, then, isn’t it?” Reagan snapped.
“I hope this is a joke,” Serenity said. “What we’re here for—what we might find out—could be difficult enough without all this drama.”
“It’s not a joke.” Lorelei glared at Reagan. “You shouldn’t have told Serenity about Mark. That was up to me.”
Reagan scowled. “Well, you weren’t stepping up. Were you planning to keep it a secret from Serenity?”
Lorelei clenched her jaw. “No, of course not. I just—That isn’t the point.”
“Then what is? Because as bad as your life might be right now, at least you’re not to blame for it!” She shoved away from the table and stood. “I’m not hungry. Don’t worry about me for dinner,” she said and walked out.
“Wow,” Serenity said. “I definitely wasn’t expecting that.”
“Mommy?” Lucy blinked up at them with her wide, innocent blue eyes. “Is Aunt Reagan mad?”
Lorelei rubbed her temples. “I guess she is.”
Serenity lowered her voice. “Is it true?”
“About Reagan?” Lorelei said. “Yes.”
Serenity glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the stairs, where Reagan had gone. “I could tell that part was true. I meant about your best friend and your...” Her eyes darted to Lucy. “You know.”
Lorelei took a big gulp of wine. “Yes. That’s true, too.”
Serenity didn’t speak for several seconds, but then she asked, “Why didn’t you say anything to us about it online?”
“I only found out three weeks ago. And then... I haven’t wanted to tell anyone, to be honest. I haven’t fully processed it myself.”
Suddenly Lucy scrambled off the chair. “I have to go potty.”
“You know where it is,” Lorelei said. “Or do you need me to show you again?”
She didn’t answer. She just hurried out of the room and was heading in the right direction, so Lorelei let her go on her own.
“I can see why you might not have wanted to say anything about...about your situation,” Serenity said as she refilled Lorelei’s glass. “What you’re going through has to be excruciating. But the fact that Reagan told me isn’t a big deal. If your best friend is really pregnant, the news is going to get out eventually, isn’t it?”
Lorelei stared at the liquid in her glass. “Unfortunately.”
“So...has Mark moved out? Is it over between you?”
She shook her head.
“You’re staying in the marriage?”
“I’m still trying to decide. Sometimes I think I could forgive him—if she wasn’t pregnant. But every time I imagine seeing their son or daughter...” Lorelei winced as she pictured Francine carrying Mark’s baby in her arms. What would the child look like? Would he or she have his brown eyes and sandy-blond hair? Or Francine’s lighter eyes and fairer complexion?
“Holy shit.” Serenity scrubbed a hand over her face, smearing her mascara. She didn’t seem to care that she was wearing makeup.
Lorelei gave her a weak smile. It didn’t make things any e
asier that she thought Francine was beautiful. That only made the jagged edge of jealousy cut deeper. “Sorry to start the trip off on such a downer.”
Serenity peered more closely at her. “Reagan didn’t say whether the man she’s seeing has—”
“You mean her boss?” Lorelei broke in.
“Yes. Has he told his wife? Does she know what’s going on?”
“Reagan didn’t say. I think we both realized it wouldn’t be smart to continue talking about it.”
“I see.” Serenity tucked her hair behind her ears. “So I guess the question is...are you both going to be okay staying here this week?”
Lorelei hated feeling as though she was the least successful of the three of them but all the talk about Mark and Francine had definitely reminded her of the situation she was in. She’d been a good mom, a great homemaker. Her house was beautifully decorated, and it was spotless. Every day she spent quality time with her daughter—reading to her, teaching her, helping out at the preschool she attended, which required quite a bit of parental interaction. And she provided a warm, wonderful atmosphere for her husband to come home to at night, as well as a delicious meal. She’d once prided herself on those things.
But now her contributions of the past several years felt like nothing, as if no one valued them, including Mark. While Reagan and Serenity both had successful careers and their own money—total control over their lives—she had to worry about Mark ferreting away what he was making so he wouldn’t have to share it with her.
Or so that she wouldn’t have the funds to be able to leave him in the first place.
“I’m not going home early.”
Serenity peered closer at her. “You’re sure?”
She nodded. Besides the fact that she couldn’t really afford to change her travel plans, Lucy couldn’t face spending another day on a plane, not so soon after this one, and Lorelei wasn’t ready to go home to Mark and Francine, couldn’t tolerate more of Mark’s entreaties and inadequate excuses.
“Then I’ll talk to Reagan and...and see if we can’t get beyond this so that we can have a chance to get to know each other and share our childhood memories as we’d planned. One of us has to remember something that might offer a clue as to how we got here—and why things happened the way they did.”