by Brenda Novak
Finn must’ve wondered about that, too, because he gestured toward her and Lucy as he leaned back in his chair, lifting it off its front legs. “So Lorelei’s the one who contacted you both? Why did she get her DNA tested?”
Thinking of what had transpired earlier, when they’d had all their pictures and other memorabilia scattered on the table, Reagan turned to see if Lorelei had heard the question and would answer.
When she didn’t even look back at them, Serenity jumped in. “Her childhood was...considerably more difficult than ours.”
“She grew up in foster care, and took the test hoping to find her parents.” Reagan assumed answering his question would be the quickest way to move on, so when Serenity shot her a warning look, she lifted her palms. “It’s not a secret. And there’s no shame in it.”
“I was two years old when I was found wandering a busy street in downtown Orlando.”
This came from Lorelei. They all turned to her, surprised that she’d finally spoken up. She stood so stiffly as she faced them that Reagan wondered if Finn could tell how much her background still affected her.
“My parents abandoned me,” she added, in a tone even more forthright than the one Reagan had used.
“You don’t know that,” Serenity said.
Lorelei attempted a shrug, but it hardly came off as careless. “That’s the assumption.”
“Disney is in Orlando, isn’t it?” Finn said. “Are you sure you didn’t just wander away while your family was on vacation?”
“If that’d happened, wouldn’t someone have gone to the police?” she asked.
He put his chair back down. “No one reported you missing?”
“No.”
Reagan could tell he was at a loss for words. “I’m sorry” was so inadequate. It also smacked of pity, and she doubted Lorelei would appreciate that—especially coming from him. Reagan was glad when he didn’t go in that direction.
“Maybe you weren’t at Disney World. Maybe you were being raised by your grandmother and she had a heart attack and died, and you somehow got outside,” he suggested.
Lorelei’s eyebrows slid up.
After squirming a bit, he tried to retract the idea. “Sorry. That’s not a happy scenario. I’m just saying that anything’s possible.”
“You were only trying to be nice,” Reagan murmured to him. “Most possibilities aren’t very pleasant. That’s the problem.”
“You’re married now, though, right?” Finn asked Lorelei.
He must’ve seen the ring on her finger.
“Yes.”
Reagan sent Serenity a guarded glance. Finn was heading toward another dangerous subject.
“Is your husband here, too, or—”
“He’s back in Florida, working.”
“He didn’t mind that you were coming out here?”
“He wasn’t thrilled about it, but not because he was opposed to it, exactly. It just wasn’t a good time for me to be away.”
Finn hesitated as though he wanted to ask why. That was the next logical question. But when Lorelei didn’t volunteer the information, he probably figured it would be too intrusive. “How long will you be staying?” he asked instead.
“Lucy and I go home on Friday.”
Finn turned to Serenity and Reagan. “What about you two?”
“I’m leaving at the same time,” Reagan replied. “We arranged it so we could drive to the airport together.”
“And I’ll be going back to the Bay Area once they’ve left,” Serenity said.
“Damn.” He scowled at them. “I was hoping you’d all be here when Davis arrived, and I’m not sure he’ll make it before then.”
“I wish we could be,” Reagan said. “I’d love to meet him.”
“Do you have to go back so soon?” he asked. “For work, or whatever?”
Reagan almost said yes. But then she realized that wasn’t strictly accurate. If she quit her job, there’d be no reason to return right away. “Not for the job I have now,” she hedged.
“Then you should stay longer. You, too,” he said to Serenity.
“I could put off going home for a few days, since I can work out of the cabin. I’m here a lot, anyway, especially during the warmer months. We could even take Davis out on my parents’ boat one Saturday, if you think he’d enjoy it.”
“I bet he’d love it,” Finn said. “I’m sure he’d really like all of you, and he could certainly use some friends. Because he didn’t know you from before, there’d be no awkwardness, no sense of him being less than he was, no need to try to act like his old self. He could just be the dude he is right now—a man trying to recover from the loss of his arm. If that makes any sense.”
“It makes perfect sense,” Lorelei said. “I think they should stay longer, too. I wish I could.”
Was she serious? Reagan exchanged another glance with Serenity.
“You’d both be welcome,” Serenity said, sounding completely sincere. “You could even stay for the whole summer.”
Lorelei seemed hesitant, but when Serenity continued to encourage her, she finally smiled more brightly. “Another week or two probably wouldn’t hurt.”
Reagan couldn’t believe her ears. “Really?”
Lorelei bent to kiss the top of her daughter’s head. “Why not? I think having a little more time to myself would be a good thing, given...given my situation. Don’t you?”
“I do,” Serenity said. “As long as my parents aren’t planning to come up—and they’d tell me if they were—there’s no reason we can’t stay as long as we want. So...” She turned to Reagan. “Does that mean you’ll stay longer, too?”
Reagan’s mind raced. They could reschedule their flights. There might be some cost involved, but it shouldn’t be too much. What about her job situation, though? “Even if I quit at Edison & Curry, like I plan to, I’ll have to apply somewhere else.”
“Right away?” Serenity pressed.
“Not right away, I guess.” Reagan had always been conservative with her finances. Although it worried her to use her reserves, she figured she could survive without an income for several months, if necessary.
“When will you ever get another chance to stay in Tahoe?” Lorelei asked.
Reagan twisted around to look at her and Lucy. “That’s true. I could stay for a little longer, but I’d feel lazy or self-indulgent if I stayed the whole summer.”
Lorelei left Lucy playing her game on the couch and returned to the table. “Maybe you owe it to yourself to take a good long break. Maybe that would be just the thing. Think of what it would be like to spend three whole months here—what we could make of it.”
“And that is...” Reagan prompted.
“A perfect summer,” she answered.
A slight smile curved Serenity’s lips. “Wow. You could knock me over with a feather.”
“I can’t believe it myself,” Lorelei said with a self-conscious laugh. “But staying doesn’t have to be an ironclad commitment. If we aren’t getting along or enjoying ourselves, or your parents or other siblings want to use the cabin, we could leave earlier rather than later.”
“That’s true,” Finn said, obviously hoping to persuade them.
Serenity scooped some more guacamole onto her plate. “Then we’ll leave that open as a possibility and see how things go.”
* * *
reagan
“That was really enjoyable.” Reagan was the only one who wasn’t slightly tipsy as they walked back to Serenity’s cabin. After they’d eaten dinner, they’d stayed late and Serenity, Lorelei and Finn had finished off a third bottle of wine. Reagan wished she could’ve had a glass with them, but she didn’t regret one minute of the time they’d spent laughing and talking. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so relaxed or having more fun. For once, she hadn’t been trying to pull awa
y early to get some work done, hadn’t been more concerned with emptying her inbox or the fact that she had to manage some sleep so she could beat everyone into the office in the morning.
It was a nice change to be relieved of the constant pressure. She’d always had something to do, ever since she was a child. First it was her school assignments and swim meets and debate team. Then it was tackling the working world and fighting her way up the corporate ladder.
Tonight reminded her that maybe there might be other things out there, things that would prove far more meaningful to her in the end.
She wondered why her driven and creative mother had never been concerned about balance. Maybe it was because she was so bad at it. She had only one gear and that was to push as hard as she could—always. And she expected her daughter to do the same. Rosalind had only been proud of Reagan when Reagan out-competed everyone else—set the record at her high school for the hundred-meter butterfly, raised the curve in English class or obtained an academic scholarship for college.
Reagan felt they’d both been missing out on the kinds of relationships that enriched everything else—even when it came to each other. Their conversations were so superficial. When was the last time they’d really talked? Really connected?
Maybe they never had. Her mother wasn’t an easy person to connect with. She was too stoic, driven and goal-oriented. And Reagan had turned out just like her. There’d been periods when Reagan had tried to remind herself to slow down, so she wouldn’t miss out on the best years of her life. But before she knew it she was once again canceling lunch with her friends, skipping their calls and even forgetting to eat dinner in pursuit of being the best in her chosen field.
Inevitably, she’d allowed her life to be narrowed down to one primary focus. Edison & Curry.
And Drew.
If nothing else, she hoped what’d happened would serve as a wake-up call that she had to do more than work twenty-four/seven. Maybe now that she had the support of two sisters, they’d remind her, act as a counterbalance.
But if she was going to have a baby, that would force the issue...
“Spending more time in Tahoe might help me gain a better perspective,” she said as Serenity let them in.
“So you’re really considering staying?” Serenity asked. “I wasn’t sure.”
What would it be like, Reagan wondered, to spend more than a week with Lorelei and Serenity? So far, everything hadn’t been completely smooth between them, but there were characteristics about each that made her like them, admire them or at least sympathize.
And if she was pregnant she’d have some tough decisions to make. She could see herself working that out better here than when she was back in New York, starting a new job and facing the prospect of telling her bosses that she’d soon need maternity leave.
“I am,” she said. “Preparing my resume and going through the application process feels like too steep a mountain to climb at the moment, anyway. Maybe I should step back and examine whether I want to continue in the direction I’m currently headed before I do anything else.”
“That’s how I feel,” Lorelei said. “I need to decide what I really want out of life. We’re all at a crossroads in one way or another. We missed out on growing up together, but maybe we were meant to find each other at this particular stage of our lives. Maybe everything will change from here on. Maybe we will all reinvent ourselves.”
That was an appealing thought. Reagan liked it. She was surprised it was Lorelei who was talking that way, though. She’d gotten the impression that Lorelei had also allowed her life to be distilled into only one focus—Mark. And her daughter, of course, who’d fallen asleep on Finn’s couch much earlier and was currently in her mother’s arms.
“You go in first,” Serenity said to Lorelei, in deference to her heavy load as she swung open the door.
At four years old, Lucy wasn’t outrageously heavy, but she couldn’t be easy to carry, even if it was just from next door. Finn had tried to get Lorelei to let him bring Lucy home for her, but she’d insisted on doing it, said she’d be fine. Since Reagan could tell Lorelei really liked Finn, she wasn’t sure why she hadn’t let him help.
Brushing past them, Lorelei climbed the first flight of stairs and then the second to put her daughter to bed. Reagan could hear her footsteps as she moved briskly upward.
“I can’t believe Lorelei’s thinking about staying longer,” Reagan said when she was out of earshot. “I never saw that coming.”
“Neither did I,” Serenity agreed. “But she’s never had any family, so, in a way, it makes sense. Even if she stays all summer, three months can’t replace a whole childhood, but it would be something. I’m glad she wants to be with us.”
“I agree. I’d love to help Finn by befriending Davis this summer, but I’m staying for you and her more than I am him.” After being so independent and comfortable on her own, Reagan found it surprising that she was warming up to the idea of having sisters. But Serenity and Lorelei could offer her something her mother couldn’t—family that wasn’t quite so difficult to get along with, family who came from her own generation and understood life in that context, family members that were willing to be more vulnerable, and therefore more accessible, than her strict mother.
“I bet Mark thinks he’s all she’s got, that he could never lose her,” Serenity mused.
Reagan let her lips curve into a devilish smile. “But we’re going to show him she’s got sisters now.”
As soon as they reached the main floor, they both dropped onto the soft leather couch.
“Do you think your mother will be okay with you staying here longer?” Serenity asked. “It’s only been a month since her surgery. Isn’t she still recovering?”
“She’s recovering in the sense that it was fairly recent. But she’s already back at work, which means I’d hardly see her even if I was closer. She works long hours and never misses a day.” Reagan pictured her mother, who was almost as tall as she was and always so well turned-out, so in command of herself and all those around her.
“You live within twenty miles of each other and don’t see her very often?”
“She’s busy. I’m busy. I go to her place in the Hamptons for dinner the first Sunday of each month. So, depending on how long I stay here, I’ll miss up to three visits. She’d never admit this, but she’ll probably be relieved that she doesn’t have to reserve that time for me and can use it to get caught up on email and other things before the new workweek starts.”
“I’m a little shocked that you’re not closer. You’re all she has.”
“She should never have had children. It’s her job she loves.” That statement made Reagan wonder if maybe she wasn’t cut out for kids, either. What kind of mother would she be? And would she soon find out?
She couldn’t help touching her stomach. She desperately hoped she wasn’t pregnant. How would she face a pregnancy on top of having to look for a new job?
Serenity propped her feet on the coffee table. “Surely your mother loves you.”
“In her own way,” Reagan allowed. “She loves me a lot more when I do what she wants. Otherwise, she criticizes every decision I make. I swear, when we eat together I can’t even hold my fork right—according to her, anyway.”
“She’s a very successful woman who’s made something of herself and wants you to do the same, I guess.”
Which meant she’d be so disappointed if Reagan had to tell her she was pregnant as well as jobless. “She wants me to be a reflection of her. But I could use a break from trying to match what she’s accomplished. I’ve always tried to be a good daughter, but I’m tired of feeling like I’ll never measure up.”
“What will she say when she learns you’re quitting your job—and not coming home on Friday?”
“She’ll go quiet. Then she’ll say something like, ‘That’s a long time to be off work. Sho
uldn’t you get back and start applying right away? You know how difficult it is in your industry. You’ve told me that yourself.’”
“Sounds...polite.”
“It won’t feel that way. It’ll feel as though she’s screaming, ‘That’s the stupidest decision you’ve ever made!’”
“Is there any chance she’ll change your mind?” Serenity asked.
“There’s always a chance,” Reagan replied with a mirthless laugh. “After all, her tactics have worked on me for thirty-five years. And we are making the decision to stay here awfully fast. We’ve only known each other for two days.”
“No, we met months ago—online, anyway. And as Lorelei said at Finn’s, it doesn’t have to be an ironclad commitment that we stay all summer. You can play it by ear and leave whenever you want to.”
“True. But we’ll have to take the rental back to Reno even if we don’t catch our flight. We can’t pay for it all summer.”
“There’s no need to. One car for three of us should be enough. For the few times more than one person needs to use it, we can Uber. And I can take you to the airport whenever you want to leave.”
“Staying would be a fabulous escape from what we’re each going through at the moment.”
“Yes, a time-out. One we could all use.” Serenity pulled a lap blanket onto their legs. “Your mother should be able to understand the need for you to get away.”
“Don’t count on it.”
Serenity sighed. “It’s almost impossible to escape the beliefs our parents instill in us, isn’t it?”
“It is. For some, those beliefs can amount to a prison.”
“So by quitting your job and staying here, you’ll be breaking out of that prison and establishing your independence. You need to remember that when you talk to your mom.”
She needed to remember a lot of things. Staying in Tahoe would give her up to three months during which she couldn’t break down and see Drew. That was a positive. Maybe she’d be able to figure out how to stop her mother’s disapproval from shoving her around like a playground bully. Another positive.