by Olivia Ash
Soren shifts in his seat. “That was…”
“Incredible.” Gideon finishes the sentence.
I rapidly switch my gaze between the two of them and I’m honestly at a loss. “Really?”
Gideon looks at me with discerning eyes. “I wondered what the differences would be in your performance with and without the conduit. How do you feel?”
I sit a little straighter in my seat. “Amazing.”
He sits back in his seat. “Soren, thoughts?”
Soren leans forward, tenting his fingers and resting them on his mouth, setting his elbows on his knees, like he's deep in thought. “It appears she’s able to use and manipulate her power better without the conduit.”
“Where did you get the conduit?” Gideon looks at me intently.
“Um… Professor Lawrence. Sort of.” A pinch forms in my forehead. I rub my temples to ward off a small throbbing sensation.
“Interesting. Why sort of?”
I shake my head. “I picked it out from a small collection he had.”
Gideon nods.
“I wonder if every conduit is going to be the same way.” Soren leans back in his seat. “Or, if the meteorite has something to do with the difference.”
“Either way, we can work with this.” Gideon sits forward. “We need to figure out what the difference is between using your magic with a conduit and without. We need to train until your magic comes to you as easily as it does without the conduit.”
“You mean the conduit is dampening her magic? Like it’s somehow blocking some of her power?” A pinch forms between Soren’s eyebrows, his lips form a straight line and his eyes become unfocused as he puzzles through figuring out the differences in my abilities.
Gideon shrugs as he shakes his head. “I’m not sure yet.” He taps a finger on his chin. “We still have some time. We can take turns sparring with her, taking things step-by-step. Feeling this out as we go.”
Soren nods. “I agree.”
“Okay.” I stand from the chair. “Let’s do this.” I move toward Gideon’s magical closet.
“You’ve created a monster.” Soren’s voice is full of humor as he speaks from behind me.
“We both have,” Gideon says.
An hour into our training, I’ve sparred with Gideon and Soren separately and together. I trained with the conduit on. And that confused me.
“Why have me practice without my conduit in the first place? Especially since I have to use it now?”
Gideon wipes sweat from his brow. “Because, I was curious what the difference would be. Obviously, you can’t do that outside of this room. So, our goal is to get you as proficient with magic with a conduit as you are without.”
I nod. “Makes sense, I suppose.”
Sort of.
I trust Gideon won’t make me do anything that would bring harm to me. I’m safe with him. I suppose this is just another step in understanding my power, my gift from the meteorite I’ve fused with. Gideon is not one to share all of his secrets or give all the answers. I’ve learned this much about him. His goal is to simply guide us to the answers and help us figure those out. This is likely one of those cases.
“You’ve grown so much up to this point.” Soren’s compliment pulls my attention to him. “You’re even handling yourself well against Gideon and me. I think we should up the ante a bit and add the other two in.”
“Jesse and Milo?” I ask.
He nods.
“I agree,” Gideon says. “That will allow us to work as a team as well. I’ll schedule it.”
I think about how much fun it is to spar with Gideon and Soren together and wonder what adding Jesse and Milo into the mix will mean.
I can’t wait to find out.
“For future training sessions,” Gideon says, “focus on the feeling you had earlier when you used magic without your conduit. Let’s see if we can hone that more.”
I give Gideon an understanding nod.
“I’m impressed.” Soren bends forward, stretching his fingertips to the ground. “You gave us a good run for our money.”
“But you were taking it easy on me.” I level my gaze on him.
He shrugs. “Prove it.”
“The demonstration with the dummies.” I gesture toward the other end of the room.
He narrows his eyes on me, lifting an index finger and thumb, holding them close together. “Maybe just a little.”
I chuckle. “You are so lucky you’re cute.”
I have to admit that there is something about sparring with him, especially with Gideon added to the mix, that energizes me and puts me in a light-mannered mood.
He quirks an eyebrow. “Careful, I know where you sleep.”
“So scared.” I make a good show at trembling.
Gideon chuckles. “All right. You need to go shower and get ready for your classes.” He points to Soren. “You have a class in a bit as well, don’t you?”
Soren gives Gideon a little nod.
Gideon turns on his heels and heads for the door. “Let’s go.”
Soren and I pick at each other, poking our sides with our fingers and chuckling together as we leave the room which rapidly changes back into a closet again.
After a quick goodbye, I rush to my room for a shower. I’m going to be late to class, and I hate that.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Winter is so beautiful on this island.
It’s cold. But beautiful.
Jesse and I walk side-by-side through one of the gardens as the sun is setting, taking the last of its warmth for the day. The constellations start to take shape, and fog leaves my mouth with every breath. Deep purple clouds, darkening with the oncoming night, move in from the north.
We walk down a white stone path, gleaming with the last light of the day. Every crossroad in the path is guarded by statues of winterwolves, krakens, dragons, and phoenixes. Evergreen bushes, as high as my waist, line the paths like hedges.
It’s quiet, peaceful, and it feels good to have some time with Jesse.
“Hmm… snow.” Jesse barely murmurs the words, and I look at him to see if he actually spoke or if it’s my imagination.
“What?”
He points toward the clouds. “Purple means snow.”
“Oh.” I chuckle. “Is the weather really what’s weighing on your mind?”
He shrugs as though he doesn’t want to share his thoughts.
I nudge him. He plays it up, pretending to almost fall into the hedges. I laugh. “Seriously, what’s up?”
I glance up at the clouds and notice they are quickly moving in. An icy breeze picks up, blowing through me. I shiver and breathe in deep Jesse’s intoxicating scent. It’s like a mixture of spice and cedar with a slightly sweet undertone but not flowery.
“Cold?” He stops and slips off his winter cloak, draping it over my shoulders. “Better?”
I give him a little nod. “Don’t avoid the question.”
“No, the weather is not what’s on my mind.” There is a slight shake in his words, and I want to ask him about that, but he turns his attention to the sky.
He stops me with a firm but gentle hold on my arm. He steps in front of me and looks deep into my eyes with his steely blues. “When I’m around you, I can think clearly. Somehow, you still my racing thoughts, ease the chaos within my mind. You even manage to soothe the worries within me.” He shakes his head and lets his hand drop to his side. “You ground me in ways no one else can.”
I smile at him and start to open my mouth, but he places a finger over my lips. Huffing, I arch an eyebrow.
“I’ve wanted to share this with you for a while now, but I didn’t know how to phrase it. And I want to say thank you.” He removes his finger.
Oh, now I can talk.
“Here I thought it was all fun and games with you.”
He chuckles under his breath. “There’s a lot more than meets the eye with me.”
“No kidding.”
“Exactly.�
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I laugh slightly under my breath, not wanting to disrupt the peace or the mood. But I do wonder, what worries him? He’s always seemed like a carefree guy, always looking at the lighter side of things and never taking anything seriously. Although, now that I think of it, there have been a few times when I’ve seen a serious Jesse come through. The first time was when I first learned about Anderson, right after he stole some of my energy.
I don’t care what he said about it. He stole it. Thank you very much.
However, if he’s opening up to me, maybe he can shine some light on that part.
“Does what worries you have anything to do with zacars?”
His eyes darken a bit and he huffs out a breath of air through his nose. “Let’s continue walking.”
“Okay…” I try to come up with a way to get him talking. I don’t want him to shut down now. “I only ask partly because of what you just said—which is very sweet, by the way—but also because of your initial reaction to Anderson when we first came here for the trials. Was there more behind reacting the way you did?” I look at him and watch as his features become contorted. Almost as though what I’m bringing up is putting him through incredible pain.
I grab his hand and pull him to a stop. I make him face me. “I’m sorry. I can tell whatever it is that’s bothering you really cuts deep.” I slide my arms around him and rest my head on his firm chest. His strong arms wrap around me and he rests his head on mine.
His body shudders as his arms wrap tighter around me.
“Whatever it is, we can work through it together. I’m here for you, Jesse. I’m not going anywhere. Whatever demons are haunting you, I will fight them by your side.”
“You will?” He asks, voice soft, almost a whisper.
“I promise.”
He pulls away and leads me to a bench. We sit huddled together and he takes a moment to breathe in deep. The pain of whatever he’s struggling with ripples off him, covering me in a way that makes me certain we’re bonded in a special way. I’m overcome with the need to cry. It breaks my heart deeply to see him hurting like this.
“My childhood was amazing.”
Oh. Well, that’s not where I thought we were starting, but okay.
“And then it wasn’t.”
I nod, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze.
“A zacar had fallen in love with my mother. She turned down all of his advances, but he eventually grew obsessed with her. We saw him sneaking around the house sometimes, late at night. My dad placed wards, but it wasn’t good enough.”
“He found a way through?”
Jesse shakes his head. “No. He found a way around it altogether.”
I furrow my eyebrows. “How did he do that?”
“By following my mother.”
“Oh, Jesse…”
“Just wait, there’s more.” He sniffs and his knee starts to bounce nervously. “A stranger apparently watched the whole thing happen. The asshole cornered my mom. The stranger tried to step in and stop it, but it was too late. The zacar fed off of my mom. Took too much of her energy and it drove her crazy.”
I cover my mouth and gasp. “That must have been so horrible.” I lean in closer to him. My own experience was severely unpleasant. I can’t imagine what his mom went through to have so much of her essence sucked out of her that it left her brain shattered.
“Eventually, we had to have my mom locked up in some looney bin because the damn soul sucker didn’t stop when he was supposed to.” He shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut. A single tear trickles down his cheek. I reach up and wipe it away with my finger. “My dad was never the same. He became a work-a-holic and kept himself distant. I was forced to take care of my brothers until they were old enough to fend for themselves.”
I wrap my arms around him. “That’s so horrible. No one should have to live through that.”
He shakes his head and squeezes me to him. “I came here so I could make a better life and provide for them.”
“Where are they now?”
“At home, with a shell of what used to be our father, and here I am, stuck at school.”
“Can anything be done to help your mom? Maybe Savannah has something that hasn’t been tried yet?”
“Trust when I say, if there was anything that could be done, I would’ve tried it. And I’ve tried everything I could think of. She’s just lost…” His voice cracks. He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself. “She’s broken, and I don’t know if she’ll ever be whole again.”
“I’m so very sorry.”
“You wanna know what’s worse?” He looks down at me. I shake my head, unsure of what to say. “The zacar got away with it because it was a,” he holds two fingers up and pumps them up and down for air quotes, ‘secret meeting’ between him and my mom. According to him.”
“What about the stranger?” I ask.
Jesse shakes his head. His pain slowly leaking into anger. “His word against the zacar’s.”
“I wish I knew what to say other than sorry.”
“I’m going to avenge my mom. As soon as I find out where the bastard zacar is, I’m going to kill him.”
I stand up and face him, ignoring the questioning look in his eyes. “I refuse to let you give up on a cure. I’ll help you find a way to help your mom and brothers. There has to be something out there that will heal your mom, and I’ll help you track the dirty bastard down and deal with him.”
His eyebrows scrunch up as he looks up at me. “You would really do that? For me?”
I cock my head to the side. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“It’s a dirty secret my family treats with shameful remorse. It’s not talked about. In fact, we’re ignored. They cover up the real story with some idiotic excuse. There’s a handful of them, and they just pull one out that seems best fit for the given situation.”
“It’s not a dirty secret, Jesse. It’s a tragedy. A horrible one.”
He snorts. “Well, at least you took it better than I thought you would.”
“How did you think I was going to take it? You’re talking to a girl who was enslaved by trolls and had to sleep on the ground for several years. I know what it feels like to have your entire world turned upside down because of someone’s evil actions. You shouldn’t have been swept under the rug… you should’ve been helped.”
I offer him my hand. He takes it and brings my knuckles to his lips. He leaves a chilly kiss on them and takes in a deep breath. “I don’t know why I thought you’d take it a lot worse than this.”
“You’re incredibly unobservant.” I shake my head and pull him to his feet. “Thank you for sharing your story with me, even though it was horribly painful.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulder. “You’re stuck with me now, you know that, right?”
I chuckle. “Fine by me.” I slip my arm around his waist. “Tell me about your brothers. What are they like?”
Jesse chuckles. “Annoying buggers. They’re incredibly strong-willed, kind, and have the biggest hearts of anyone I’ve ever met. They are twelve-year-old twins. Samuel and Elijah.”
I smile. Good big brother. “They sound adorable.”
“You say that now. Damn me for caring so much. But wait until you meet them. You’ll change your tune quickly. They put itching powder in my body soap. Hung a giant mechanical spider in my room and chased me with it.” He chuckles. “Just you wait.”
“You want me to meet your brothers?” I ask, my lips stretching into an even bigger smile.
He shrugs. “Why not?”
“I dunno. Just surprised… in a good way.”
“The surprises are going to keep coming. Starting with going back to my room, drinking something warm, and creating some friction.”
I chuckle. My Jesse is back in full force. “Now you’re talking.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The warmth in Jesse’s room is simply magical as it seeps into my frozen toes and works its way up my body, chasing th
e icy cold away. Jesse takes his cloak and hangs it on the other side of his door on a hook.
With the flick of a wrist, a fire ignites in the small fireplace at the opposite wall of his bed. I watch Jesse move, drinking him in with a new sense of admiration. He did a huge thing tonight, opening up about his heart-wrenching past. And I don’t want to cheapen it by bringing it up anymore. I intend to stand by my promise to him, but even more than that, I trust in him completely.
He kicks off his shoes and sets them by the wall on the other side of his bathroom. I take mine off and put them by the wall as well. He tosses a few pillows to the floor from his bed and grabs a blanket. Laying the blanket on the floor, arranging the pillows around the thick comforter, he makes a comfy spot for cuddling. He sits on the ground and then pats a spot next to him. I chuckle and join him.
He adjusts the pillow behind me then slides his hand into mine and leans in close. “Thank you for tonight.”
I look at him. His eyes are focused on the fire. But they seem less burdened than before, and it feels good to know he trusted me enough to tell me his story.
“I should be thanking you. It takes a great deal of trust to open up like that. I appreciate it.”
He meets my gaze, and the depth within his steely blue eyes takes my breath away.
There are no words to fill the peaceful contentment enveloping us. Even the pops and cracks of the wood in the fireplace barely whisper through the silence. His eyes shift to my lips and I wait for him to kiss me, holding my breath as my heart rams against my ribs.
“I don’t have to pretend with you, do I?”
I shake my head, a soft smile on my lips. “Never.”
He twists toward me and tucks a strand of hair behind my ears and slides his hand behind my neck, pulling me close. His mouth collides with mine and I nearly melt into him.
His tongue explores the inside of my mouth and he gently rakes his teeth along my lower lip.
A moan escapes from my lips and he hesitates, pulling away slightly. I meet his gaze as he searches mine for something I can only guess at.