She placed her hand on his chest like she could reach his heart inside him. “I know that you’re a good man who treats me right, and you understand a little of what my life was like without feeling pity. I thought we were friends before we married.”
The storm outside thundered and he stepped away from her touch. She had no idea the truth. She couldn’t. If she stayed, he could transform and hurt her. He had violence within him. He turned away from the window, toward her. “You… were wrong. I don’t deserve you or your love or anything you offer. In time you’ll find someone who is worthy.”
She touched the gold cross at her throat. “What happens to you and your title if I leave?”
Answers. He hadn’t thought this through. All he knew was that she needed to leave. Now. Before he turned into a monster too. “I’ll deal with the royal family and… a divorce, or better yet, cover your absence so you can keep your own titles and we'll just live separately. Once it’s clear my sister and her daughter get the castle…that was the plan all along before I met you-”
“No,” she interrupted and he instantly stepped back, well aware of how his heart raced while she said, “Look, I’ll go if you want me to. I can’t force you to love me, but don’t fill out anything without a clear head. You can find me at my parent’s estate when you’re ready.”
Calm, kind, and beautiful were three reasons he didn’t deserve Clara as she embodied all three traits. His veins were pumped with adrenaline though he tried to sound reasonable when he said, “I’ll contact you, and I won’t hurt your own claim to your birthright.”
She brushed soft fingers against his cheek. His hair stood on end. “I… really love you, Astorre. I thought you were my prince.”
No. He’d never be a prince, even if he was from Avce and distantly related to the crown. She'd meant a hero, and he was a monster in disguise. He peered into her pretty brown eyes and said, “My sister was right to call me a beast… you need to get out now.”
She lowered her hand like he’d struck her. He feared hurting her worse which was exactly why she needed to disappear. If he let her stay, she’d eventually hate him when she saw the truth about who he might become if he let himself believe in love.
Chapter 16
Clara’s entire body ached to sob. Her ducts were filled with unshed tears but she would not cry.
All her life she’d known the truth.
She ruined everything she touched eventually. And it wasn’t just business. It had only taken her days to ruin her marriage. Nothing had changed about her. And the note from his sister that she wasn’t going anywhere with Clara had just sealed it.
Clara the unfortunate wasn’t safe harbor for anyone, and she was destined to be alone.
She packed her small rolling bag from Miami with her meager belongings, leaving all the clothes from the castle hanging in the closet. She put the jewelry away.
None of this was hers. Clara Fortuna’s destruction had spread here too.
She zipped up her bag, left the bedroom she'd shared too briefly with Astorre, and headed downstairs with her head lowered.
No one approached her in the halls or the great room.
Once she made it to the small town outside, people gave her a wide berth.
She snorted a few times to keep herself from becoming a mess of tears in public and held her head up.
The last thing she’d ever be was a spectacle. Grandma May had been clear that wasn’t welcome behavior as no one wanted to see her tears. She walked through the second gate, once they'd opened it for her, and a black limo stopped in front of her.
Clara hugged her suitcase handle tighter until the back door opened and her dark-haired friend from home stepped out. Clara wiped her face when one tear escaped and then rushed over to hug her best friend. “Rossie, just in time.”
Rossie glanced at the castle walls behind her and then back at her. “Why?”
At least she'd stopped Rossie from going inside only to find out that Clara was already gone. A castle town car driver parked behind Rossie’s limo. “I’m heading to the Baron de Dona’s estate. You can meet me there instead.”
Rossie tilted her head and her face was clear and bright as she said, “I wanted to see your castle.”
“It’s not mine.” Every cell in Clara's body flared to life.
Rossie glanced at the second car and side-stepped to her own open passenger door. “Get in. We’ll ride together.”
Fair. Clara waved at Astorre’s driver to tell him to go and then hopped inside Rossie’s black limo with leather seats that smelled like it was brand new. Rossie’s driver closed the door and Clara couldn’t sit still. She trembled as she said, “Thanks. I sent a second note that Olivia and Sophia are welcome to join me later. Olivia sent a second note back saying no, she’s staying here.”
The driver took off. Thankfully her estate wasn’t far from here so soon she and Rossie could be alone. Rossie had no idea the trouble Clara was in as she asked, “What happened?”
“Nothing,” Clara said. She gave Rossie's driver the address and as they headed down the road, the rain picked up. Lightning flashed, and thunder boomed close after.
Rossie turned around and glanced out the back window that was now being pelted with water. Clara refused to ever see the castle again, or the man inside who'd made her heart bleed onto the floor. “Then why are we leaving?”
The car drove onto her property. At least she now had somewhere in the world to hide and never be seen again. This was her silver lining. “Astorre doesn’t love me. It’s like living with my grandmother all over again. Come, let's get out. My birth parents have wedding pictures in here, and baby photos.”
Oh no. Tears leaked out. She curled her hands at her sides and willed away actually crying. No one would care for her if she did.
The car stopped in front of the estate. The driver stepped out with umbrellas and Rossie exited first, taking the handle offered as she said, “This house is nice.”
Clara didn’t care about umbrellas or how her hair would get wet. She stomped up the steps in her faded pink sneakers. “And it’s mine, so no one can tell me to ever get out.”
Rossie quickly caught up and strode next to her as Clara threw open the door. “Astorre told you to leave? What exactly happened?”
Astorre’s servants ran her house but she'd have to figure out a transition for that later. She hopped past the red velvet ropes that still hung but this time headed toward the back, where she spotted a kitchen area.
Her lips were parched which seemed funny. She should be filled with water as her ducts remained dry. She wanted water. She threw open the silver refrigerator and took out a pitcher of water. She went into cabinets and found glasses. Finally she was ready to talk so she said, “He-” But nothing came out as she poured.
What could she say? Love wasn’t her specialty? That seemed stupid. She handed Rossie a glass and stared into her friend’s concerned eyes.
Clara’s stomach twisted. She was about to tell her, but then there was a ring at the door. The museum would be permanently closed since she would live here, not that she expected the staff to understand that yet. She put the pitcher back in the fridge. Saved. “I have visitors.”
She turned around as two servants she recognized from her last visit entered the kitchen. Maybe Astorre had talked his sister and niece into leaving too. If they stayed here, she wouldn't be entirely alone She immediately hugged the girl to her and said, “Olivia, Sophia, I can have rooms set for you.”
Olivia and Rossie nodded at each other since they hadn't met and Olivia said, “No, we’re staying in our home--you need to come back.”
Clara pressed her hand on the kitchen counter. “I’m not wanted.”
Olivia pursed her lips and said, “That’s not true.”
“What happened?” Rossie asked.
“Rossie, this is Astorre’s sister, Olivia. Olivia, this is Rossie Di… Durnovo, the Lady of Normanni--she married Stephano.” Clara quickly introduced her fr
iend, and wiped her eyes. Drat she was crying again as a storm grew outside, much like inside her. “Astorre doesn’t love me.”
Rossie rubbed her back, but Olivia lowered her head a little so she met her gaze and then once Clara blinked in her direction, Olivia said, “I think my brother loves you, which is why he told you to leave, especially after Sophia called him a beast.”
A bubble of hope shot through her veins, but she ignored the sense. Bubbles always burst and she’d never actually gotten what she wanted…she didn't know what to say.
Sophia said, “I didn’t mean it. He seemed nice.”
Rossie glanced at both of them and said, “I still don’t understand. Astorre told you to leave, Clara?”
If only Rossie could wave her magic wand where the world delivered on its promises. But that wasn’t her life. Clara ruined everything. She sniffed to ensure she didn’t sound like a slobbering fool. “I… he did. I'm respecting his wishes because he doesn’t love me.”
Olivia had no idea who Clara really was, but she said, “Look, my brother believes if he loves you, or me, or my daughter, then he’ll one day turn into our father.”
Impossible. Astorre wasn’t the type to flip out and murder anyone.
Rossie sank into a kitchen chair. “What?”
Olivia placed her hand on her heart, defending him. “He won’t. Our father wasn’t… kind, but Astorre still sees him when he looks into the mirror.”
But this was a silly argument because it was absolutely impossible. Clara took Olivia’s hand and wished she understood the truth. It was because she destroyed good things. That was why, and not because he thought anything silly about himself. She squeezed Olivia's hand and said, “He’d never hurt me or anyone. He’s not like that. He never even raised his voice.”
Olivia let out a long sigh. “My brother believes he’ll be something he’s not. I want you to come home with us.”
Astorre’s lips were imprinted on her and she’d never forget him, but she shook her head and let his sister’s hand go. “I can’t do that.”
Olivia held her hands in front of her like in prayer and pleaded, “If you love him, then you’ll help him see he can’t hurt you.”
His sister didn’t see that Astorre had his own reason for banishing her. Most people didn’t notice on first inspection but time always gave it away. Clara was the unfortunate one. She turned toward Rossie, her friend who had never judged her and said, “I… he doesn’t love me. Love works two ways and I’ve never been loveable.” She held up an umbrella for Olivia. “You should go now, Olivia. I hope you and Sophia help your brother realize how amazing he is.”
Olivia clasped her daughter’s hand as lightning struck outside followed closely with thunder. “Clara, I hope you change your mind and come back. I’ll ensure the gates stay open for you. You are welcome.”
Olivia hugged her and then guided her daughter outside to where the driver waited.
More raindrops pelted against the house hard enough to shake the building.
Clara finally gulped her water but it didn’t quench her thirst.
She needed to face facts. Clara opened cabinet after cabinet until she found a jackpot… wine. Rossie followed behind her and said, “Clara.”
With this in front of her, maybe she could forget her state and stop crying over Astorre. She’d thought she’d finished being upset regarding people and disappointing them long ago, but Astorre had changed that. She picked up a Malbec and hoped it was good as she said, “Rossie, let’s get some wine.”
Rossie stepped back and grabbed wine goblets from a cabinet.
Perfect. They scoured the kitchen drawers and found a cork screw as wind shook against the house, rattling the windows. She poured them both glasses. Rossie asked, “Can I say something?”
Clara laughed and handed Rossie a full goblet as she carried hers, and the bottle, into the next room. She remembered the general layout from the last time she was here. There were chairs and a sofa. “Even if I said no, you’d still say what you want. You’ve never been able to hold your impulses.”
The storm was rolling outside with rain so hard no umbrella would work and driving visibility would be impossible--Olivia and Sophia had gone just in time. It was cozy inside. Rossie sipped her wine. “You make me sound like a bad person.”
Clara pressed her hand on her friend's arm. At least here she could stay hidden away and only come out when Rossie invited her somewhere--she'd make an appearance as the strange aunt.
It was all she’d get out of life as love wasn’t in the cards for her. “You’re not. I was always envious that you lived and loved as you do.”
Rossie shook her head, but stopped, sipped, and then said, “I… if you remember in school I wasn’t the most popular person.”
At that time, they hadn’t been friends but unlike Clara the unfortunate, Rossie had been more accepted as normal. Clara gulped her red wine and said, “Because we weren’t the rich kids, but you were always tolerated for being fun. I was just Clara the unfortunate Fortuna.”
Rossie snorted but then covered the action when she sipped her wine. “Well, it will be horrible if you love Astorre and he loves you but you end up alone, especially now that you know him, and understand his tortured childhood.”
Her target must have been Clara's heart strings, and the organ dropped. Astorre would never hurt a fly. She ignored the tiny whisper in her head to believe she was loveable. If Astorre believed something about himself that wasn't true, could it be possible for her too? No. “At least I’ll have this house…I won’t have to mow the lawn or wash dishes for someone else’s party.”
Rossie tapped her fingernails to the goblet and stared at her, then sucked in her lips like she was deciding on a calculated deal. “You… can I ask why you turned down my business offer a few weeks ago? Was it because you were planning to marry Astorre?”
Her pulse spiked and she wanted to curl into a ball. She wasn’t a gold-digger, so why would Rossie ask that? “I’m not… he was my friend only then, and I had zero intention of ever marrying Astorre. You know that.”
Rossie scooted closer like they were negotiating something. “Then why turn down my offer? It would have given you independence.”
Running a wedding business meant believing in happily-ever-after. Clara wasn’t qualified. She finished her glass and poured them both a second round. “Because I always screw everything up and ruin good companies. I couldn’t do that to your legacy.”
Astorre was the only one who'd never flinched when he heard her pert answers, as if he agreed with her, even when she’d messed up when she cut to the heart of why Max had come to the castle. She gulped more wine. Rossie said, “If you don’t go back to Astorre, I think you screw up your own happily-ever-after.”
The lights flickered outside. “I don’t matter.” She patted her breastbone.
Rossie put her glass down on the floor and reached for her hand. “Yes, you do. You matter a lot, and in staying here you deny Astorre his happily-ever-after too.”
That would only be true if he loved her. He’d never said so. She took a deep breath and said, “He told me to leave.”
Thunder rolled past and Rossie whispered, “If what his sister said is true then he just needs to see that he’ll never be his father. And then he’s yours, forever.”
Astorre wasn’t violent though. He couldn’t think that. But if that was true, maybe she wasn’t a total lost cause. He had her heart and always would. She closed her eyes and quietly said, “So you think leaving was stupid.”
Rossie picked up her wine and sipped it. Clara bravely met Rossie's gaze, knowing she'd see the truth. Rossie said, “There is no stupid. The question is, do you think you’ll be happy here, in this house, alone?”
The lights flickered again and the room went completely black, except for the lightning. No one could see outside in the fog and rain that poured down like buckets were being tossed at them from a fire brigade. “The storm is getting worse. We’re both st
uck here until the storm lessens.”
“Then pour the wine,” Rossie said, and the lights flickered on again.
Clara was used to rain and storms and she loved them. But most people didn’t revel in the dark. They were like Rossie, happy and free to love.
But if Olivia had been right about Astorre, maybe it was possible Clara was wrong. She needed to figure out her next move, fast. If she believed…
Chapter 17
Astorre heard the thunder and lightning outside but it didn’t matter.
Clara was safe at her family estate.
His sister had followed her so he was alone now, just as he'd planned.
The dark skies and stark castle didn’t help with his adrenaline rush. He went over paperwork. Organized his office. Made a list of what needed to be done around the castle first.
Something in his veins still stirred him and his mind buzzed.
He went to the gym for a solid hour but that didn’t help. After he finished, he took a fast shower. Outside the storm sounded worse. He wondered if this would be his life from now on. He’d never live anywhere else again. Was that the cause of his restlessness?
Part of him craved a drink so he’d block out his life. But that never worked in the past, and pain was good. Pain meant he’d not hurt Clara.
Maybe he’d go crazy faster now. His heart raced so it was possible.
He chose tea rather than whiskey and faced his past. Astorre brought his cup to the library, just as his mother would have done every day, including the day she’d died.
He ran his fingers along the volumes of books on the shelves. Classics to non-fiction. His mother’s first daily task was filing the returned books that she’d lent out to people in the castle.
She considered herself the family librarian and researcher. She could explain to anyone how the people of Montelino Bay kept the castle safe in World War Two or during the crusades when the British had mistaken Avce for the middle east. Nothing about his mother had been anything but sweet and kind.
Forbidden Noble Page 12