Tears stung her eyes. She didn’t stop them when they spilled onto her cheeks, but she did hide her face in the crook of his shoulder as she cried. All the pent-up longing, joy, grief, anxiety and every other emotion she’d cycled through over the course of the journey north of London poured from her, pulled loose by the physical joining.
“Are you well?” Colin whispered, but he held her tight without moving.
“Yes.” She reveled in the heat of his body, Bay Rum and cloves with a hint of citrus of him blended with sweat, the simple happiness of holding him after all these years. “I love you too, Colin. I’ve never stopped, even when life took us away from each other.” Then she sighed and rested her cheek on his chest. Being here with him now after everything, was like opening the best and most wondrous Christmas gift.
Yet... She held her bottom lip between her teeth. He’d said nothing of how their future would play out.
Chapter Fifteen
Several hours later, and after another round of lovemaking, Colin lay on his side, his head propped in his hand, with Lucy’s lush body tucked against his, her back to his front, while the fire crackled cheerfully in the silence and darkness.
She’s finally mine.
After all these years, he’d won her, the girl he’d first loved, the woman who’d occupied every thought of every day through seventeen years. He smiled as he drew a finger lazily down her arm and over her hip. She stirred in her sleep, murmured something he couldn’t puzzle out, and then she blinked open her eyes. The mass of her caramel hair was tangled beneath her head, and he stroked his fingers through those silky tresses that he’d removed the pins from shortly before their last spirited bout of play.
“Lucy.” He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, her ivory skin warmed by the fire. “There are things I need to say to you, and I mean to have them out before you distract me again with your sinful body.”
She chuckled at that, an alluring, smoky sound that had his length stiffening. “I thought you lived for the naughty side of life.” But she rolled over onto her back and brought the corner of a quilt with her.
“I do, and being naughty with you is a hearty temptation.” Thank God that quilt partially covered her, but only just, and that barely-there barrier proved as tempting as looking at her nakedness.
“What troubles you?” Satiation lined her expression but her ice-blue eyes twinkled with love and happiness, and that gripped his heart. He’d made her thus, and it was what he’d aimed to do when he first saw her in the street with her luggage at her feet.
“I’m not troubled, but I do wish to clear any secrets between us.”
A dear frown wrinkled the smooth expanse of her forehead, and he pressed a kiss to that skin. “I think perhaps we should leave some things to the past.”
“Agreed, and I’ve told you most of my history over the course of this bizarre trip.” A moan shuddered from him when she laid a palm against the side of his face. He couldn’t help it. Every touch, every caress from her had him falling all over again, and he never wanted that joy of discovery to end. “I think I tried so hard for so long to become an empty version of the man I used to be when you walked out of my life.”
“There was nothing wrong with such a man that love—true, abiding love, a love that spanned the years, perhaps—couldn’t fix,” she rushed to add.
“I know.” Colin captured her hand in his and placed a kiss upon her palm. “However, it took me many years to finally see that truth. I couldn’t or perhaps wouldn’t, not until I saw you in London.” He sighed, lost once more in the depths of her eyes. “All along I should have worked at being a solid version of the man I am now. I’ve changed, Lucy, mayhap in little bits, but the change is there, and it started with you.”
“No, it started with you and your determination to be a better man. And it will continue.”
That made him grin. “Why will you not accept the fact you played a large part in this shift?” When she protested, he silenced it with a searing kiss to her lips. “There is still good in me, even if you cannot see it. I merely need help to bring it to the surface, but I’m trying.” Tears sprang to his eyes. He’d been through hell and back on this trip to Derbyshire, and perhaps that trial by fire was needed to set him upon the correct path, the one that led to his future and her. “I feel I’ll complete that transformation if you are with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Colin.” She brought his hand to her lips and kissed the back of it. “Once you made the decision to change, it happened, and it feels like finding Christmas all over again, doesn’t it?”
“Yes.” His grin widened. He pulled his hand from her hold and instead danced his fingers along her abdomen. “That’s exactly what this feels like deep inside. That joy and wonder gripping me all over again.”
Had the key been so simple all along?
“That’s what love is, and when a person has a taste of that pure emotion, they become very selfish and wish for it every day.” She held his gaze with hers, and there was no denying how she felt about him. “But you must stay vigilant and work for it. Love in all its forms won’t find you if you don’t show it to others.”
“I know that now. Thanks to you.”
She stretched, and when she snagged the strings of her reticule, the quilt slipped to reveal one of her perfect breasts. Colin stifled a groan. When she resumed her previous position, she covered herself and then dug into the bag. “I have a Christmas gift for you.”
“That’s not necessary.” Yet excitement buzzed up his spine. How long had it been since anyone had remembered him at Christmastide?
“Oh, but it is.” When she pulled out her hand, she thrust a metallic object into his and closed his fingers around it. “This was Jacob’s. You gave it to him in your youth.” Her throat worked with a hard swallow. “I couldn’t bear to part with it, for it felt like I’d lose him all over again, as well as lose my last connection to you.”
With a tight chest, he unfurled his fingers. The pocket watch he’d given Jacob so long ago upon his friend’s eighteenth birthday sat on his palm. Colin flipped it over. The inscription was still there. To the brother I chose. May we forever enjoy adventures together. Colin. “I cannot accept this, Lucy.” It obviously meant much to her, as evidenced by her tear-filled eyes.
“Please do. I knew since we spoke of Jacob that night that this was meant for you. It makes the circle complete, and I cannot think of a better person to have it.”
He rubbed his thumb along the words. God, he missed Jacob. “Simon should have this.”
“Somehow, I think he will when the time comes,” she whispered, and looked at him with such hope and love in her eyes, he caught his breath.
“I promise it will.” After setting the precious gift on the edge of their pallet, he tugged her body over his so she more or less straddled his waist. As she clutched the quilt to her chest in an effort to maintain modesty, he chuckled. How damn good it felt to laugh and court happiness again. Much better than staving off misery at the bottom of a brandy bottle. “We’ve wasted so much time...”
“I rather think that we’ve gained enough life experience to serve each other well. There is no challenge we’ll face that we cannot overcome—together.” Lucy leaned down and spent the next few minutes kissing him, and each gentle nip and nibble, every waft of her daisy scent, every tickle from her unbound hair worked to undo him so that he fell ever deeper for her, the woman who’d never given up on him.
“Ah, Lucy, my love, how much fun we’ll have together,” he murmured as he nuzzled the sweet skin of her neck.
“I expect you to start your courtship immediately.” And she squirmed enough so that her arse brushed his member and ramped his need for her all over again. “I won’t delay in having you whenever I wish now that we’ve come together.” She lifted an eyebrow and he wanted to kiss that dear arch. “I’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”
“Absolutely.” But he refused to rush his fences, and now that he’d spoile
d his surprise gift to her, he needed to save something for tomorrow. In an effort to distract her, Colin kissed her, rolling them both over. Never could he have enough of her, and he’d show her that until she couldn’t help but believe it.
Christmas Day
By the time the sun had risen the next day, Colin had no doubt how much Lucy loved him, and he suffered the fatigue to show it. Not even with his last mistress had he spent so much time in perfumed arms lost in the delicious wonder of coitus. And the most surprising thing? Lucy might show the world she was a modest widow, but when it came to matters of intercourse, she was a hellcat. The thought brought a smile.
Apparently we were making up for lost time.
As he struggled into his jacket—a difficult task without the assistance of his valet—the jingle of harness bells echoed in the distance. “Ah, that would be the rescue party,” he murmured and went to the front door of the cottage, pulling it open. A beautiful, white world greeted him. The freshly fallen snow sparkled like millions of diamonds in the morning sun. “Lucy, look there.” He pointed in a northerly direction. “Here comes a sleigh.”
She joined him at the door, barely stifling a yawn. “It will be nice to finally arrive at our destination.”
“I thought we already have,” he whispered and lifted a hand in greeting as the conveyance came ever closer.
“You speak the truth.” Then her stomach growled. “And find something to eat. I’m ravenously hungry.”
“That you are, love,” he said then was forced to hold up his hands when she slapped at his shoulder in play. “What? It was a compliment, and I rather think it’s splendid.”
A blush stained her cheeks. “Hush. It’s our secret. Quickly, bank the fire. No doubt we have people waiting to find out what happened to us.”
Distracted by her as she tidied up, Colin sighed. “Time to beard the family lion.” But he’d never forget the precious hours he’d spent alone with Lucy.
Then the driver—the same man whom he’d sent on his way the evening before—sprang out of the sleigh, his face wreathed in smiles. “Greetings, Lord Hartsford!” He crunched over the snow to the door. “Seems you and the lady survived after all. Found your top hat in the snow and figured you must be somewhere close.” He jerked a thumb toward the sleigh. “Already gathered your luggage from the coach, so there’s no reason to delay. The duke is anxious to see you.”
“Then let us be off so we can all settle into our celebrations of the day.” And he would secure the rest of his life. He’d suffer whatever his family wanted to toss at him, for he’d have Lucy at his side.
Nothing else mattered.
No sooner had they stepped foot inside the ancient bowels of Lancaster Hall than Ellen set upon them, along with two other young people Colin assumed were Lucy’s children.
Everyone talked at once, and they swept him and Lucy through the corridors until they paused just outside of the Green Parlor where, as he peeked into the room, his whole entire family was gathered.
Oh, God.
His stomach muscles cramped. Anxiety clawed at his insides. I’m not ready. “Er, before Lucy and I present ourselves, we should refresh our appearance. Being stranded in an abandoned cottage doesn’t lend itself to making the best impression.”
Ellen rolled her eyes. She bounced her merry gaze between him and Lucy before focusing on him again. “All in good time, Papa. However, after speaking with Simon and Beatrice,” she pointed to them both, apparently in way of introduction, “we need to say our piece before Christmas celebrations begin.”
“Meaning what?” Colin couldn’t help but frown. He looked at Lucy, who shrugged. If these children weren’t so innocent, they’d take one glance at her disheveled appearance and hastily upswept hair to know exactly what she’d been about during the nighttime hours. Heat infused him. We did that—together.
Was there guilt in his daughter’s expression? His frown deepened. Whatever for? “I have a confession to make, to you both,” Ellen began. When he and Lucy trained their attention on her, she continued. “Father, you’ve been unhappy for a long time—”
“I know but—”
“Please don’t interrupt. I need to say this before my courage deserts me,” Ellen pleaded. She fiddled with the red sash at her waist that offset the white of her dress. “When you were otherwise engaged—drinking—”
“I’ve vowed not to do that so much,” Colin interrupted and Ellen huffed.
She stamped her foot. “Papa, please!”
“Fine, go ahead,” he said with a grin.
“I went through your things, found old letters from long ago, before you married Mother. Such sweet letters to Mrs. Ashbrook—Lucy. She was a Hudson then.” She smiled at the widow, who looked on with confusion. “Then I found the sad letter when she refused your suit soundly... again it seemed. As well as a simple note from one of my aunts telling you of Lucy’s marriage to the war hero, Jacob Ashbrook.” She glanced at Colin, who felt a childish urge to clap his hands over his ears. “I had no idea about this portion of your history, but it intrigued me. It sounded so heartbreaking and convoluted.”
When she paused, Colin blew out a breath. “Please, get on with it, child.” I cannot believe my daughter pried into my personal effects. “It is unaccountably uncomfortable standing here with my whole family looking on.” He did his best to ignore the collection of assorted relatives sitting in silence inside the parlor.
“Right.” She smiled sweetly at him. “I puzzled out what was between the lines, all the things you and she didn’t say, and it just so happened that I attend the same academy for young ladies Lucy’s daughter, Beatrice does. We became friends and started talking...”
Lucy turned to her daughter. “In all this time, you never once mentioned you knew Ellen?”
“I couldn’t, Mother. We had a plan in place. And this is where my confession begins,” the young lady named Beatrice stated. She was possessed of glossy brown-blonde curls and a smile that put him in mind of Jacob so much that his heart lurched. “Once Ellen relayed the information to me that you and the viscount once shared a romance, I did some digging of my own.”
“You went through my things.” It wasn’t a question, and Lucy grew agitated, but Colin bumped her shoulder with his. She glanced at him with a rueful smile.
“It had to be done. Simon and I found Papa’s pocket watch, the one Lord Hartsford gave him when they were best friends.” She cast a concerned glance at Lucy while Colin traced a finger over that same watch currently residing in his waistcoat pocket, a gift from the woman he loved. Then the girl looked at him. “Mama’s been so lonely and haunted, and she hasn’t truly lived these past years since Father died.” She dropped her voice. “So Ellen and I thought of how lovely it would be if we could help matters along between you and see if that old spark was still there.”
Ellen nodded with enthusiasm. “Christmas romances are so lovely,” she said in a dreamy voice.
Colin’s eyes widened. What had these two impish young girls done? “Is that all there is to your confession?”
“No,” both girls said in union, their expressions conveying both guilt and embarrassment while their cheeks reddened.
“Spare me the Drury Lane acting, girls,” Simon said with a shake of his head. “I want my Christmas breakfast, and this is only delaying it.” The boy, also with blond hair and a chin that could belong to no one else except Jacob, sighed. Then he attempted to affect an expression and pose of boredom, but didn’t quite succeed. “Long story short, the girls wagered me that they could bring the two of you together again. I said they couldn’t. Too many variables at play. And now?” He looked between Colin and Lucy with slightly narrowed eyes. “Are you?”
“Are we?” Colin caught Lucy’s eye, the sparkle of love in those gorgeous depths, and he fell all over again. Then he nodded. “We are.”
“Buggar.” Simon sighed. “I suppose I’m honor bound to do Beatrice’s chores for a month. I’m also to introduce Ellen to
a few of my friends. Damnation.” He rubbed a long, elegant hand along his chin.
“Simon, don’t curse,” Lucy admonished in the tone she reserved for talking to young people. He’d heard it enough when she’d spoken with Ellen. “You are not yet a young gentleman of the ton.”
Colin chuckled. No, but he soon would be, and if Simon would let him, he’d count himself honored to help give the lad a bit of Town bronze... to a certain extent. “Perhaps my brain is confused from hunger and lack of sleep.” At the last second he stopped himself from glancing at Lucy. “How is any of this possible? Surely there’s more to the story than finding old letters and trinkets.” The anxiety came back, but Lucy stepped closer. She grabbed his hand, threading their fingers together, and immediately calm descended. Oh, how good it felt having her in his life once more!
“Would you believe Christmas magic?” Ellen asked in a hopeful voice.
“I would not. And especially not from the three of you. Explain, please,” he encouraged and tamped the smile that threatened. How dear these children were by taking matters into their own hands when their adults were too blind to see the truth. Perhaps there was a bit of Christmas magic involved, but he wouldn’t admit that to the young people.
“Fine.” Ellen shrugged. “The post driver fell victim to flirting and a kiss on his cheek.”
“Damnation.” Colin groaned and Simon protested the vulgarity.
“How can he say it but I cannot?”
Lucy huffed. “He is an adult, but even he should know better.”
Colin ignored them both in order to concentrate on his daughter. “We shall need to have a talk about proper deportment, young lady.”
“I know, and I agree, but those were desperate times,” she insisted. “Also, the axel break on the post coach was faked. Merely a wobbly wheel that was repaired once you and Lucy were well on your way.”
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