by Valia Lind
This is how it ends. Maybe the creature didn't kill me in that shiny version of Hawthorne, but he's got me now. I can't even bring myself to reach for my phone to call someone.
The fever spreads through my body, as I fade between hot and cold. So many thoughts rush through my mind, so many things I want to do and now will never get to. My mind drifts to my family, my sister and mother who will blame themselves for leaving me alone. Harper will hate herself for being gone while all of this was happening. And Nolan. He will hate himself for this. I know it just as well as I know that I would in his shoes. I don't want any of my family and friends to carry this burden. I don't want them to cry for me. I want them to fight.
The get up and do something about it.
The creature's voice jerks me to attention. I force my eyes open, but he's not here. Even though he sounds like he is. I try to reach out to him with my magic, but a spasm so strong it makes my teeth hurt rushes through me. I clutch at my stomach, folding myself into a ball, trying to hold on to what's left of me.
There's more to you then this pain. Get up. And fight.
His voice comes again, even louder than before, but he's not here. Swallowing against the dryness in my mouth, I push the words past my lips.
"Where are you?"
Right here.
"I don't understand."
You asked me how to save your people. I have given you the way.
"Don't un..derstand."
Stop fighting the magic inside of you. Let go.
"I can't. Bad...things. Happen."
You can and you will. Let go. Find your center.
"Tell me what to do."
Do not be afraid of your magic. Listen to the bond. Do what you have been raised to do.
“But how do I..." I don't get to finish my question because I no longer feel the creature beside me. My magic is nuclear. It's why I've spend my whole life training on how to control it. Letting go has never been an option. And the bond? He has to mean the soulmate bond, but how is that possible? Harper and Connor were explosive together. It's how anyone could see their soulmate magic. But Nolan and I are not like that. While I have grown to love him, there is no way we fall into the soulmate category. It's not possible.
But as I lay there, surrounded by nature, with stars twinkling above me, I realize that I don't believe any of that. There is a power inside of me that I've been taught to suppress, but no more. If saving my town means taking the risk at letting go, then that's what I'm willing to do.
Can I trust the creature? No. But at this point it's either death to all, including me, or taking a chance on what he has to say. I'm taking the risk.
Slowly, I spread out my arms and legs, moving to lay on my back once again. I focus on my breathing, forcing the air in and out of my lungs, until it becomes easier. My body is still on fire, but instead of pushing it away, I reach for it. What surprises me is how it responds to my coaxing. As I move towards it with my mind, it answers in kind. Instead of fighting me, it allows me to embrace it. As strange as it may sound, the disease in me become clear, and that's when I see it's not a sickness after all. It's magic.
Potent and raw.
Ancient.
Pushing on my elbow, I sit up, coming to terms with that's been in front of me all along. The White Plague isn't a plague after all. It's a channel to the oldest magic known to man and beast, and it's trying to find its way through my town. The moment I come to the realization, the magic and I become one.
My own powers knock at the doors of my mind, begging to be set free. And for the first time since I was a little girl, I let it. I don't fight against it, allowing the magic to pour through me, entwining itself with the raw power of the Ancients. There's a danger here, I know it at the back of my mind, but I don't want to listen to the warning signs. Suddenly, the anger I felt toward the Elders becomes too much to take.
I push to my feet, stronger than I've ever felt before. I and the magic are one, for maybe the first time ever, and I'm done playing by the Elder's rules. With determined steps, I make my way past my house and back to the center of Hawthorne.
It's time to cleanse this town.
14
The streets are bare, most of the people and creatures hiding in their homes from the big and bad disease. A big part of me wants to laugh, but I'll save that for when I meet the Elder's face to face. I'm tired of their secrets and I'm about to put an end to all of them. I don't have to wonder about where they all are. With my magic at its fullest, I can feel each and every member. And just like they do most of the time, they're having a meeting at the town's hall. My mother is there too. And so are Nolan. And Harper and Connor.
Good. They need to be here to witness this.
When I reach the building, I don't go inside. Instead is stand at the bottom of the stairs, much like I did in the first dream I had with the creature, waiting them out. Slowly, I allow my feelings to creep towards them, and when my mother realizes what I'm doing, I'm ready.
She walks outside, worry etched on her face. She sees me immediately, her own magic reaching towards me to sooth me, but I block it. Shock registers on her face, before she masks it and makes her way down the stairs.
"Krista, what's happening?"
"So many secrets, Mother," I say, standing my ground. "The White Plague isn't a disease. It's a gift. Why keep it from us?"
"Krista, you don't know what you're saying."
"I know what has been shown to me. Do you see this? This is real power," I thrust my hand out, pushing an emotional block towards her and she's scooted back a few feet. "This is what you kept from me all this time."
"Sweetheart, your powers are growing every day. When you are ready, you will access them..."
"I've accessed them already," I interrupt her, just as the doors of the town hall open and the Elders pour out, including Harper and Connor. My friend meets my eye, confusion written all over her face. Maybe I look different, because she doesn't rush towards me like she usually does.
"Krista, what's going on?" Harper asks, coming down the stairs. My mother reaches out to her, stopping her progress with a hand on her arm. My eyes zero in on that one action and anger boils up inside of me.
"Are you afraid of me, Mother?" I ask, meeting her eye once more. "You sure you can protect everyone if I lose control?"
"Sweetheart, this isn't you. Whatever is happening, don't let it control you."
"The only thing that has ever controlled me is you!" I scream, and a wave of magic pours out of me, knocking everyone on their back. I watch it happen in slow motion, but I don't try to stop it. A growl sounds somewhere close by and when I glance up I notice Connor has shifted into his wolf form and he's ready to pounce.
"I wouldn't," I say, waving my hand in Harper's direction and he instantly freezes. I wouldn't hurt my friend, but maybe he's not so sure right now. Meantime, Harper gets to her feet.
"Krista, please listen to me. You're sick. I can see it on you. Let us help."
I hear her, but she sound so far away, because her emotions are louder than her words. Uncertainty. Fear. Worry. They taste bitter in my mouth and I shake my head to push them back.
"Do you even want to help? You don't understand what it's like. To feel it, all the time. The whole town, weighing down on your shoulders. And you can do nothing. You can't block it out and you can't help."
The moment I embraced this power, all the emotions rushed into me. But I'd be lying if I didn't feel them every day. Because no matter how much my mother has taught me to stay closed off, I can't shut it all down completely. I feel everything, all the time, and sometimes, I don't know where my feelings end and someone else's begin.
"I'm all alone, Harper," I whisper, pain shattering my heart at the truth behind those words. In this moment, I realize just how alone I truly feel. And it's my feeling, all mine.
The magic rises up inside of me, but it's not all my magic. The White Plague rears its ugly head, feeding on my insecurities. I glance up, meeting H
arper's eye, before moving to my mother. They're too close. I'm losing it and they're too close.
"Stand back!" I shout, my magic unfurling too fast for me to pull it back. This is it. This is the moment I lose control and destroy everything and everyone I've ever loved. The intensity of the disease rushes through me, breaking down any and all protective walls I have built up over the years. There's nothing but me and the magic, a standoff that will ruin everything.
"Krista!"
I hear my name called, but it sounds so far away, I can't get out of my head to focus enough on it. There's more noise, not nearly enough to overpower the rage inside of me. This is it. This is the point where I...
Nolan is suddenly there, his arms around my shoulders and I come back to myself with a snap.
"What are you doing?" I ask, fear for his safety choking me. Tears pour down my cheeks, as I realize how far gone I've become.
"Showing you that you are not alone."
He doesn't hesitate, but pulls me towards him, crashing my mouth with his own.
For a second, I feel it all. The intensity of his kiss, the feeling behind it, and then the bond.
Soulmates.
His kiss scorches my lips, burning away every doubt I've ever had. I kiss him back just as fearlessly, as if this one moment in time will fix everything. I don't think about the creature, or the disease running through my veins. I give my whole self over to Nolan and he matches me stroke for stroke.
Light pours out of us, encompassing the space around us, blinding me even though my eyes are closed. For the first time since the creature has spoken the words, I believe them.
Nolan is my soulmate, magic and love mingled together with that one truth. My body begins to shake and Nolan pulls back enough to stare at me. I don't take my eyes off him, as the magic inside me comes to a boiling point. And then, as he holds me, I arch my back, a screaming ripping from somewhere deep within me, as light begins to pour from out of me.
It sends the whole town into blindness, and then, there's silence.
I grow limp in Nolan's arms as the light dissipates. He lifts me off my feet, cradling me against his chest, as I wind my arms around his neck. The tiredness in my body is heavier than a ton of bricks, making the very hairs on my head hurt. But I don't feel the disease like I did before.
Then, my mother is there, reaching out to touch my cheeks, then forehead, then arms. Something is being said, but I can't make out the words. I'm so tired I think I can sleep for a week straight. The power is gone, just as quickly as it came. I still feel everything, but I push it back, behind those walls, as best as I can. Because right now, all I want to do is rest.
"Take her to the clinic," I hear my mother say, "She looks dehydrated. And spent."
I curl myself deeper into Nolan's arms, allowing my mother to take control of the situation. I don't understand what just happened, but I know something major did. My brain is mush, full of questions and emotions and I'm too weak to deal with any of it right now.
The next time I'm aware of my surroundings, I'm in bed. There's an IV connected to my arm, a drip to help with hydration. After spending years inside these walls helping my mother, I know what it is on sight.
When I shift to get more comfortable, Nolan is suddenly there by my side. The look of concern on his face is familiar. I seem to put that there often.
"What did I do?" I ask, my voice raspy and he reaches over to the table, bringing a glass of water to my lips. I take a small sip, feeling better instantly.
"You healed the whole town."
This comes from my mother, who walks into the room at that moment. I turn my eyes to her, ashamed for how I spoke to her, of the accusations I made.
"I don't understand."
"Can you tell us what you remember?" Nolan asks, keeping his voice soothing. The door opens again, and I see Harper and Connor step in, followed by Meredith. This is it then, my trial. Right here and right now. I wish I had answers for them, but I'm confused. By my own thoughts and actions.
Nolan takes my hand in his, bringing me to the here and now. He gives me an encouraging nod, and so I speak. I start at the beginning, with the dreams that weren't really dreams, to the last one I remember having when I went searching for it. When I'm finished speaking, it's so quiet, a pin could be heard falling to the ground. I sneak a peek at Nolan, but his facial expression is nothing if not encouraging. I expect him to be angry, I expect them all to be angry, but they're not. At least, not from what I can read.
"Krista, I had no idea..." Meredith finally speaks up, before stopping herself and looking over at my mother.
"What?" I ask, looking between the two older women. Something passes between them, something I'm not privy too, before my mother takes a deep breath and turns to me.
"The creature you described, we've met him before. The last time the White Plague came to this town.
"What is he?"
"He's a trickster. There are many tales about his kind, but the best comes from Haida mythology. He is known as the Raven. He has been many things throughout the ages, but what he has always been is selfish."
"He used me."
"He channeled you."
I can't seem to wrap my mind around that. He helped, I know he did. Why would he do that?
"I don't understand. He told me things that were true."
"Of course he did, sweetheart. You are too smart to fall for anything but the truth." Mama takes a seat on the bed, reaching for my other hand. I don't feel smart, I feel stupid. I didn't even realize I was being used. I embraced it completely.
"But he healed the town?"
"No, you did," this comes from Nolan, who looks more proud of me than I've ever seen anyone look. My head feels overwhelmed by the information and the emotions they bring.
"Your powers, Krista," Meredith speaks up, coming farther into the room, "They are growing in a way none of us expected. But even more so, your bond with Nolan. It's strong."
I glance at the man beside me, but I still don't understand. My limbs and head feels too tired for much more, but I can't relax until I grasp at least a little bit of comprehension.
"I don't..."
"You did the healing, Krista," Nolan speaks up, leaning closer. "You broke through his control and you allowed your power to cleanse the town. The White Plague is gone."
"Entirely?"
"All gone."
There are still so many questions swimming around in my mind, but at Nolan's words I feel lighter than I have since the ordeal began. Even if I was used by an evil Ancient, something good came out of it. There will be consequences for my actions, of that I have no doubt, but I saved those I set out to save and that's all I wanted.
With that realization comes peace. I stop holding on, and allow my body to relax. My eyes close of their own accord and I don't fight against it.
"Rest now," I hear Nolan's voice, but I'm already being pulled away into sleep.
"I'm sorry," I manage, but I'm not sure if the words even make it past my lips. The guilt I feel sits heavily on my heart and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to trust my own magic ever again. Then, I feel a fleeting touch of lips on my forehead.
"You have nothing to be sorry about."
But I have no idea who says that, or if it's just wishful thinking, because sleep has claimed me once more.
15
The next time I wake up, the room is shrouded in darkness. Once again, I have no idea how much time has passed, but I feel slightly better. My eyes roam over the room before landing on Harper. She's slouched in a chair, her hand tucked under her cheek. I smile at the sight, before I do a little stretch and shoulder roll. Harper's eyes open immediately.
"Hi," I say, keeping my voice low.
"Hi," my best friend replies. We watch each other for a long moment, before she flings herself from the chair and into my arms. I hug her tightly, as her emotions bombard me from every side. But instead of feeling overwhelmed, I process them calmly, and that's a new development.
>
"I'm sorry, Harper," I say, as my friend pulls back to look at me. "I'm sorry I lost myself for a moment."
"We all lose ourselves from time to time," Harper replies, pushing the hair out of my face. The movement brings tears to my eyes, fueled by her forgiveness. "But we don't stay lost."
I throw my arms around her once more, soaking up every ounce of her emotion. This is definitely different than the way I've always dealt with my magic, but I don't hate it. I'm just processing it all a little uniquely. It'll take some study and getting used to. I still have so many questions.
"I have to be honest, when I came out of the building and saw you standing in the middle of the street, surrounded by that darkness, I was scared."
"I know," I say, because I felt it. "It's not that I trusted the creature completely, it's that I let him in a little and he took advantage. I'm still not entirely sure what his agenda was."
"I think it was to destroy the council." Harper replies, and her words make sense. The moment I opened up to the power, it was the hatred for the Elders that drove me to the center of town. It's where I always found the creature lurking, on the steps of town's hall. I guess I should've paid more attention to the clues.
"Leah called why you were out. She and Jay are on their way back. They haven't been able to find much new information from the other covens."
"But she's okay?"
"She is."
I breathe out a sigh of relief. At least my sister is safe. It'll take me a long time to come to terms with what I almost did, but at least she didn't have to be here to see it.
"And what about Bri?" I ask, because I can feel a bit of sadness in Harper that she doesn't mask all the way.
"They've had no luck so far. Dad is still missing. But Maddie is safe. They're with her now."
I reach over, placing my hand over Harper's and giving it a hard squeeze. I can't image the turmoil she's going through, with her father missing and her sisters so far away. But I also can feel a bit of relief in her, because she too is happy they're out of harm’s way. At least for now.