by Lilly Wilder
“Your crazy girl,” I chuckle. “Talk to you tomorrow.”
I hang up the phone and smile at him.
“My sister,” I say, a little apologetically, even though I know that there is no need to explain myself to him.
“I thought I might find you here,” he tells me, with a smile. He looks like he’s got something on his mind. “Are you hungry?”
My stomach rumbles at the mention of food and I realize that it’s already past noon. To say I’m hungry is an understatement. But, it’s not ladylike to say it like that, anyway.
“A little,” I nod.
“How about a little picnic in the woods?”
I remember the lake. Dex said he was going for a swim. Are we all having a picnic together? Zarael looks at me, as if he can read my mind.
“We’re not going to the lake,” he shakes his head.
“Oh?” I raise my eyebrow.
“There are other pretty places around here, you know.”
About fifteen minutes later, he takes me through the woods. I’ve never been here. The shrubbery is thicker than anywhere else. The trees seem darker somehow. Even the earth beneath my feet is wetter. It sticks to the soles of my flip flops as I walk. We finally reach the entrance to a small cave. It resembles a natural terrace and Zarael places a little blanket right at the entrance. I see two plates, some bread, cheese and dried meats. Two tall glasses rest by a bottle of wine. A few flowers are scattered over the blanket. Is this a date?
“Did you check for bears?” I ask, hesitating to go closer before he answers that question.
Out of the blue, he gives me this look, the strangest look of disbelief I’ve ever seen. I swallow heavily, enduring his gaze. Maybe I said something wrong, something that offended him?
“You don’t need to fear bears around here. I mean, you know that, right?” he asks me, his eyes watching my every move, resting on my lips, trying to read between the lines of the words I’m about to say.
“Well, I’m no match for a bear,” I continue, a little awkwardly. “You could be. I don’t know. I’ve never seen you fight an animal.”
“You really have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” he asks me again and I’m not really sure if he’s just pulling my leg or not.
“We’re talking about bear attacks?” I try and we both chuckle. It’s good. I was beginning to think that he was upset with me or something.
“Well, I guess no one told you and you didn’t ask, so…” he shrugs his shoulders as he speaks and my curiosity peaks. What is he talking about? “Maybe I should just come out and say it.”
“Say what?” I feel like this thing is itching me like crazy and only he can scratch it properly.
“Well…” he rakes his fingers through his hair, probably in an effort to buy himself a second or two. Luckily, it usually works for hot guys like him. “Dex, Theron, me and the rest of the guys, we’re many things. Bikers is usually the first thing people associate with us when they see us.”
I nod. I mean, he’s right. Even without the bikes around, their leather is screaming dirt road. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I quite like it. There’s a bit of that bad boy vibe in all of them, plus a sprinkle of something extra special to each of them and that’s probably the reason why it’s so difficult to choose just one of the three.
“What many don’t know are two things. We’re blood brothers. And, we’re bear shifters.”
When he says that, I burst out into loud, explosive, liberating laughter. I press my hands to my sides and bend forward a little, trying to catch my breath. When I look up at him, I realize he’s not laughing. He’s not angry, either. He’s just waiting for me to finish, so he can continue.
“Oh, wait,” I cough a little. “That thing about the bear shifters wasn’t a joke?”
“No,” he gives a few shakes with his head, then sits down on the blanket, patting the empty place by his side. I immediately sit beside him.
“Come on, it’s a joke, right?” I smile, somewhat awkwardly now. I’ve heard of shifters. We all have. But I always thought it was just a legend, like Big Foot or something. And now, this guy is telling me he’s one of them. Not just that. They’re all a clan of bear shifters. I honestly don’t know whether to laugh again or cry, because he’s obviously crazy.
“I never joke about such things,” he replies gravely.
“I find that rather hard to believe,” I decide to go with honesty here.
“People usually do,” he doesn’t sound offended or annoyed. In fact, a smile still lingers on his lips. I realize how different he looks when he’s smiling. Usually he’s lost in thought, brooding, with that furrowed brow. But, when he’s smiling, that’s a whole different story. “Wanna see?”
His question echoes all around us. The trees absorb the sound into their tree trunks, into their roots, and birds conceal any remnants of it, singing over the words. A moment later, it’s like he never asked it at all. But, he did.
“You mean, you can transform into a bear right now?” I clear my throat a little. It sounds like I’m reading some fantasy novel and the heroine is stuck in the woods, about to meet some woodland creature she never thought was real. That’s exactly how I’m feeling right now. Coyly, I glance at Zarael’s ears, just to make sure they aren’t pointy, like an elves.
“Of course,” he nods. “I figured Dex would have shown it to you by now, but I’m guessing he’s busy trying to figure out a course of action with Leo.”
Under any other circumstances, I would change the topic of conversation to the one about Leo. I want to know what’s going to happen. Is that man still a danger to us or not? But I couldn’t care less about any of that right now. I want to see a bear. I want to hear it growl softly right in my ear and feel it’s warm breath on my cheek. I want it to scare me. I want it to free me.
“I want you to show me,” I tell him, biting my lower lip. A strange, tingling sensation washes over me, as his hand rests on my knee. So innocent, but at the same time, filled with hidden meaning.
“Just, don’t get scared, OK?” he warns me and all I can do is nod, feeling as if the cat’s got my tongue again.
Zarael stands up and takes a few steps backward. First, he takes off all his clothes and I try not to look. I turn away, but I still take a peek. He is built like Michelangelo’s David, perfection of sculpted muscles. He stretches out his arms, high up into the air. His neck cracks as he turns it to the left, then to the right. Suddenly, he falls down to all fours, his back flinging up and head down, all the way to his chest. His whole body tightens, starts twitching. His back lowers, as his breath becomes shorter, faster, louder. He is making strange, unidentified noises and I almost regret asking him to do it. His fingers lengthen, his nails turn into claws. The soft hairs on his arms turn darker, as if someone turned off the lights. In a flash, his skin is covered with animal fur, brown and bushy. I hear a soft growl, but his face is still hidden from view. His back explodes upward and I could swear I heard bones cracking. It all lasts only a few seconds, but he sounds like the pain he is subject to during transformation makes it last much longer than that. Finally, his whole body trembles on the ground, not a single inch on his body belongs to a human now. There is no skin. Only fur. The humping of the shoulders protrudes heavily. There is no mistaking it. When he lifts his head, the nose has already transformed into a long muzzle. His eyes, though, are the same. That is the only way I recognize it’s really him.
When he takes a step towards me, I inhale deeply, sharply. My mind needs a moment or two, to recognize this dangerous animal before me as a friend. Zarael stops. He is resting on his hind legs, not moving. I take a few deep breaths, then start moving towards him slowly. I try not to make any sudden movements or sounds, as I crawl on all fours towards him. It only takes me a few steps and now, we are face to face. His warm breath tickles my nose. It smells a little like salmon.
I lift my trembling hand. My fingers slowly
glide through the air and rest on his wet nose. He doesn’t flinch. His eyes stare right into mine, neither of us averting our gaze. He’s three times my size. He could smite me with one quick motion of his paw. But I know that will never happen. Now, I know what I’ve believed all this time, but never really knew why I felt this way. These men are my protectors.
He changes back more easily, putting his clothes on immediately. But this is not a game. It’s not a matter of just showing off what he can do or how scary he can look. He doesn't need to tell me that the cracking of the bones and the sudden hair growth doesn’t have any effect on him physically. Silently, I curl up into a fetal position and rest my head on his thigh. He uses his fingers to rake gently through my hair, as we both look up at the sky above us.
“Why are you taking such good care of me?” I ask, softly, my voice down to a whisper.
They could have just saved me then shipped me off home, or had someone pick me up. I know this place needs secrecy to function, but there are ways of getting rid of someone. Did they feel a sense of obligation towards me or is there more?
“Do you know what the Chinese believe?” he replies to my question with another question.
“What?”
It’s a little strange talking to someone but not looking at them. It’s more liberating. You can say things you may not have said otherwise and that is what I’m counting on. Total honesty.
“They believe that, if you save a life, you are responsible for it.”
I think I heard it somewhere before, or read it maybe. And, I liked it. I never thought it would somehow end up referring to me.
“We are responsible for you,” he tells me. “All of us. Well, I guess the three of us. You know why, right?”
I think I do, but how does a girl start the topic of emotions with a guy she’s in love with? I feel my cheeks burning red, but luckily, we’re still staring at the sky, watching the clouds go by. I see a dragon with a tiny tail and a little teddy bear. I wonder what he sees.
“We all have feelings for you,” I hear him say and my heart starts pounding wildly, as if it’s responding to what he’s saying. I want to stay calm, but it’s easier said than done. “It’s weird, because it’s never happened before.”
“No?” I ask more out of a need to say something than actually not believing it. The three of them are so different it’s hard to believe that they’d fall for the same girl. And yet, here we are.
“No,” he repeats. “It’s… it’s a strange situation.”
I know exactly what he means. Suddenly, I realize that overthinking it won’t help. Maybe, I should just let go and see where this path will lead. I quickly get up and without a single thought in my mind that might prevent me from acting upon this wish, I wrap my arms around him and press my lips against his. Our chests against each other, I can feel my heartbeat against his. He wasn’t expecting this, but then again, neither was I. I simply let go. His hand finds the back of my neck and his tongue enters through my lips. A flame bursts out from somewhere deep within me, warming me up inside, to the point of boiling. That sweet tingling between my legs wakes up again and I know that if I ever leave this place, I will also leave my all here. Myself. My heart. My virginity.
Chapter 24
The following night, I find myself around the bonfire. We had dinner, then Dex surprised us all with the idea to roast some marshmallows and open up that casket of imported beer they’ve been saving for a special occasion. We all watched him as he prepared the fire area, meticulously, paying attention to every detail, to make sure it was safe. I never thought Dex had it in him. About half an hour later, it was all arranged.
The fire crackles pleasantly, as several sticks lie adjusted over it. The white marshmallows would turn brown quickly, so we need to be quick. I’ve always liked them gooey on the inside, a little burnt on the outside. I wrap myself up with Theron’s blanket, but none of the guys seem to be cold, even though the night isn’t warm. Zarael is sitting to my right, Theron to my left. Dex is opposite me. He’s got a little radio by his side, blasting Billy Idol’s White Wedding. It’s been ages since I heard that song.
The sound of the crickets is barely heard through the fire. The woods are never quiet. It is teeming with life, even when no one is saying anything. I glance at all three men around me and realize that this is where they belong. They are a part of this forest, the nature around them. They know it, they feel it. I wonder if I’d be able to feel it like that as well?
“And then, Theron just falls into the water after the fish, which of course swam away, while he was left to wade through mud and shit that made his hair smell like crab meat for the next month!” Dex finishes his story about Theron’s last fishing trip and why he doesn’t go anymore. We all laugh, good-humoredly. Theron laughs, too.
Dex takes a sip of his beer and stirs the fire a little. A few loose strands of hair fall into his eyes and he just shakes them away. He’s wearing his leather jacket and just a plain white t-shirt underneath. Theron has on a big chunky sweater, one of those old grandpa sweaters, while Zarael only has a shirt. He’s the closest one to the fire.
“What about you and your sister?” Dex suddenly asks. “Who was the good sister and who was the bad?”
“Can’t you tell?” I chuckle. “I’m the good one.”
“You may be the calm one,” Dex corrects me. “Like Theron, over there.” We all look in his direction and Theron stoically endures our curious gazes. “When we were little, he stole gas from our big brothers’ bikes.”
“What?” I laugh. “No way!” I can’t believe that. There’s no way Theron would ever steal anything. Not with those puppy dog eyes.
“Yes way,” Zarael confirms and only now do I see Theron’s mischievous look. “It’s always those shy, calm ones you need to fear the most.”
“I was always labeled as the naughty one and I was OK with that,” Dex explains. “Zarael is the smart ass one.”
“You could have just ended it with the smart one, no need for that second part,” Zarael frowned.
“I stand by what I said,” Dex winks at him and takes another sip from his beer bottle. We all follow suit. “But, Theron… he’s always been the most difficult one to deduce. You know, like a chameleon.” We all laugh again. “Wherever you throw him, he can just adapt, like that.”
“I never got that impression about you,” I tell Theron, as he smiles at me warmly.
“That was before,” he tries to wash himself of this, but it won’t be that easy. “When we were kids. It’s different now.”
“How is it different?” Dex asks. “Now, it’s all about those books you read. I mean, man, you’re soaking those books up like a sponge soaks up water. You read a medical book, you become a doctor. You read a psychology book, you become a psychologist. You read a book about cars, you’re a fucking mechanic. I mean, seriously! That’s the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen.” Dex raises his beer bottle as high up as he can lift his arm. “To my brothers. My partners. My lifeline. My heart beats to the same sound as yours.”
At that moment, Theron and Zarael lift their bottles, too and I do the same. A few meaningful glances are exchanged, before we all take a big gulp. I already feel dizzy, but it’s the good kind of dizzy. It’s that safety net that will catch you in the morning, by offering you the best excuse if you catch yourself doing something you’re not supposed to be doing. And tonight, seems to be the perfect night for that. The mere thought of my most inner wishes coming true tonight makes me shiver.
“Are you cold?” Zarael asks me, huddling closer. I feel his arm around my shoulder and I leave it there.
“We could go inside,” Theron suggests, but no one likes that idea. Not even himself. So, we all just shake our heads.
“I know what would warm us up,” Dex suddenly has an idea. “Truth or dare.”
“Truth or dare?” I burst out into laughter. “I haven’t played that since high school.”
�
��Nothing better to get your blood pumping than some embarrassing secrets coming out into the open,” Dex grins.
“I’m go if you guys are,” I feel a rush of adrenaline. I’ll show them mine, if they show me theirs. The thought makes me blush, but it’s too dark to see.
“Zar?” Dex asks him next and Zarael just nods, with a strangely mischievous look on his face. “Theron?”
“Sure,” Theron shrugs his shoulders, taking another sip. His hair is unusually disheveled and he’s pulled it back into a loose bun. The fire crackles softly, even softer than before now, as if it knows that secrets are about to surface.
“OK, ladies first,” Dex says and all eyes are on me.