by Nia Arthurs
“Would you?”
“Just call me whenever you need. I’ll come over.”
“Morgan, that would be fantastic!” I touch his hand.
He stiffens. Pulls it back.
I wince. “Sorry. I’m touchy-feely. If it’s weird—”
“No, I…” He inhales. Scrubs a rough palm over his face. “I’m a little out of it today.”
“You didn’t seem all that happy to hear I’m going to school,” I mumble, my body winding up with insecurity.
It’s a nasty feeling that usually wells in me whenever Miles has a problem with my behavior. It’s like a monster creeping out of a foggy lake. The eyes first. Just the eyes. Watching me. Staring me down. It hasn’t even touched me yet, but its presence is more than enough to instill me with fear.
“It’s not that I’m unhappy about it. That’s great. Really. I just…” His phone rings, cutting him off.
I turn away and try to breathe. Morgan told me to be myself. He’s not angry with me. He’s just…
What is he?
I study his handsome profile.
He’s a scientist chasing the truth.
He’s an adventurer.
Am I really important to him or is it just the challenge I’ve presented? Did I overstep my bounds calling him my friend?
“Okay,” Morgan says into the phone. “Sure.”
“Who was that?” I ask when he hangs up the cell phone.
“McCarthy. He’s taking his nieces to the amusement park today.”
“So the meeting is cancelled?”
“Nope.” Morgan flicks the indicator. “We’re meeting him there.”
I brighten. “You’re kidding.”
“Have you ever been to an amusement park?”
“Once.” I clasp my fingers together. “B4 rented out the one by the beach.”
“B4? That’s Hawk’s group, right?”
“You met Hawk?”
“I watched the movie.” He chuckles. “But yes, I did meet Hawk. Very intense guy. He talked Shanel into staying with him in the other dimension. It all happened right in front of me.”
“What do you mean you watched the movie?”
“It’s called The Heirs of Brighton Academy. And, before you ask, the movie changed. You’re no longer in it. Shanel’s the main character now.” He glances at me with a soft expression. “You want to watch it sometime?”
I shake my head ‘no’. It’ll be too hard to see Miles with someone who isn’t me.
Morgan senses my mood shift and smirks. “I hope you’re prepared. I didn’t have enough time to rent this place out for you.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve always wanted to experience an amusement park like normal people.”
His lips twitch. “Obviously, you’ve never been to one of these places during peak season.”
I smile at him.
He smiles at me.
And, suddenly, my world feels right.
Like nothing can bother me.
Nothing can touch me here. When I’m with him.
He laughs again and I laugh too.
It’s an I don’t know why I’m so happy laugh.
I like it.
It doesn’t matter if I’m just a project he’s working on. I like being with him.
Morgan parks the car in the lot that’s overflowing with vehicles. After we buy our tickets to go inside, he gets a call from his friend. He wanders off to answer it while I glance at all the people and the rides.
Kids scream from twisting rollercoasters. Dads walk with their sons on their shoulders. Moms push strollers.
There’s so much life here. So much energy in the air.
It’s hot and crazy and perfect.
Morgan joins me, his eyes intent on my face. “That was McCarthy. His niece threw up after riding one of the rollercoasters and he had to take her home.”
“That’s terrible.”
“He said he’d meet me at my place later. Pavel will join us. Do you want to stay?”
“Can we?” I tuck my fingers under my chin.
His lips inch up. “Does anyone ever say no to that face?”
Miles did.
I push the thought aside and bat my eyelashes.
He chuckles. “Should we try the ride that screwed up McCarthy’s niece?”
“Why would you say it like that?” I burst out laughing.
Just then, someone bumps into us from behind. Morgan reaches out and grabs my hand to steady me. His fingers are warm and close over mine in a firm, electrifying grip.
“You okay?” he asks, his hair falling into eyes that brim with concern.
“Yeah,” I answer breathlessly. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
I expect him to let my hand go, but he doesn’t. Closing my fingers firmly in his grasp, he says, “Hold on tight. I don’t want to lose you.”
I don’t want to lose you.
My heart skips a beat.
Those words shouldn’t dig into my soul like that. They shouldn’t curl up on the rug like a dog in front of a warm fire. They shouldn’t feel so at home in my ears, coming from his lips.
I inhale a deep breath and take note of the thousands of bodies pressing in on us. It would be very easy to lose track of Morgan in the masses and, without a cell phone (couldn’t afford to pay the plan) or money to contact him, it would be inconvenient to let him go.
That’s what I tell myself as I grip his hand firmly and let him tug me along to stand in the longest line available.
8
Morgan
Kaz has the cutest scream I’ve ever heard.
Hands-down.
The expressions she pulls on the rollercoaster make me crack up every time. Her eyes get round as saucers and she clings to my arm like she’s trying to break the bone in half.
At first, I let her cut off my blood circulation with her grip but, eventually, I chose life and opened my arms so she could wrap her body around me instead.
The rollercoaster shoots down and Kaz squeezes me in a hug that makes my heart beat as fast as the cars on this upside down track. She closes her eyes and holds on even tighter.
I can feel her trust.
Can feel it down to my toes.
It gives me conflicting feelings that I don’t really know what to do with.
All I know is that I like having her close.
I like touching her.
Putting my hands in her hair.
Inhaling her sweet scent.
I like it.
A lot.
And that’s dangerous on so many levels I can’t even begin to count them.
The ride ends and we get off. Kaz walks on jittery legs, but her dark cheeks are a little redder beneath their brown tone and her eyes glitter like the stars in the sky.
“That was insane.” She laughs.
It bounces over the air.
Mingles with the music.
I like Kaz’s laugh too.
It’s full and round. Like a ball bouncing on a dainty tambourine.
All light. Fairy dust. Musical.
“You can barely walk, Kaz.” I hold out my arm so she can steady herself on me.
“Yes.”
“And you were screaming my ear off.”
“Yes.”
I smirk. “You enjoyed that?”
“Very much.” She bobs her head and her black curls shake. Her hair reminds me of a cloud. Something heavenly. Something a mere mortal like me could never touch.
“We’ve been on every rollercoaster here. And we spent,” I check my watch, “most of our time waiting in line. I’d say mission accomplished.” I take her hand again.
It shouldn’t feel this natural to do that. It’s dangerous to do that.
But she lets me.
She doesn’t pull back.
“You hungry?”
“Starving.” She has to shout to be heard over the carnival music. She has to dip close to my ear.
I lower my head to meet her while she rises on the tips of her toe
s. Kaz loses her balance and leans a little more forward than is necessary.
Her lips brush the tip of my ear. It’s the slightest touch. The barest graze. But it hits me like a bolt of lightning.
Kaz gasps too, her lashes sliding down halfway and her bottom lip gliding into her mouth. I see her nostrils flare and I know I’m not the only one affected by her touch.
My heart is about to bust out of my ribs.
I can’t take this.
Just as I’m about to let her go, I hear crying. Whirling around, I spot a little girl sitting in the middle of the path. She’s bawling her eyes out. Tiny hands scrape her cheek and frizzy red curls grow out of her head.
I exchange a glance with Kaz. A silent message passes between us before we both burst into action.
I kneel by the kid and set a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, sweetie. Are you okay?”
She screams, “Mommy.”
Kaz searches the crowd. Colorful lights splash on a thousand faces, but no one does more than glance at the kid and glance away. I doubt she’d be able to find the mother that way.
I offer the kid a warm smile. “My name is Morgan and that’s my friend Kaz.”
“Hey.” Kaz waves.
“What’s your name?”
“Philippa,” she says with the most adorable lisp in the world.
"Well, Philippa. Would it be okay if Kaz and I helped you find your mom?”
“Please?” she begged, revealing a missing front tooth.
“Come on.” I offer my hand to her.
“Is there a way to send an announcement?” Kaz asks, giving me a concerned look.
“There should be some system in place.” I jut my chin at the center of the grounds. “I’m guessing we can get help from the main office.”
“Are you ready to find your mommy?” Kaz coos to the kid.
I frown. “We don’t know if we’ll find her there.”
“So?” she argues beneath her breath. “Do you think this kid wants your reality and statistics right now? She’s terrified.”
I lead Philippa through the crowd. “That doesn’t mean you should give her false hope.”
“False hope is better than no hope.”
Philippa grabs Kaz’s hand. “Don’t fight,” she says seriously.
Kaz’s lips twitch.
I shake my head and turn away to hide my own smile.
We make it to the admin office in a few minutes. Before we’ve even properly walked through the door, a frazzled woman comes flying at us and scoops Philippa up.
“Mommy!” Philippa squeals, her face beaming and that cute little gap tooth showing.
The woman rubs her daughter’s hair down and squeezes her so tightly into her body that it feels like she might swallow Philippa up. “Are you okay?” She rubs her daughter down. "Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Mommy.” Philippa points at us with a big smile. “Morgan and Kaz helped me.”
The mother gives us a tearful look. “Thank you so much. I went to buy cotton candy and turned my back for a second. She was gone and I…”
“It’s okay. We’re just glad we found you.” Kaz assures the woman.
I nod in agreement.
“I should,” she goes into her wallet, “something to thank you…”
“No.” I close my fingers over her fist.
“We’re just happy to help,” Kaz says.
A tear spills down her cheek. She glances at Kaz. “You have an amazing man there. My husband and I divorced a while back and… well, let’s just say my eyes are wide open now.” She points at Morgan. “That’s the kind of person I should have gone for.”
“He is pretty great, isn’t he?” Kaz smiles at me.
I blink rapidly.
Her amusement deepens when she sees my confusion and the smile gets even bigger.
Damn. She has no right to look so pretty right now.
None.
“We should go. We have a meeting to get to.” Kaz waves at Philippa. “Bye.”
“Bye!” Philippa graces us with an air kiss.
Kaz returns it.
I follow her out into the crowd. To my surprise, Kaz takes my hand and holds on to it as we get back to the parking lot. My heart’s about to bounce right out of my skin and I can’t keep my thoughts from buzzing.
Kaz turns to me. “I had a lot of fun.”
“Me too.” I mean that. Kaz made me laugh more today than I have since Grace…
It’s been a while.
I feel looser. Warmer. Lighter.
She rests her elbow on the console between the chairs and cups her palm, staring at me. “You’re a lot more fun than you look, Mr. Bacher.”
“And you’re a lot more chatty than you seemed at first.”
“That’s because you didn’t know me yet.” She bounces back into her seat.
“Do I know you now?”
Kaz stares thoughtfully out the window. “I’m not sure who this version that you’re meeting is. I’ve been through a lot since I’ve been here. I learned how to wait tables and save money and live on my own. I’ve had to suffer and sacrifice just to make it in this strange new world. The old me never would have done that. This new version is… the same, but different.”
“Hm.”
“Hm?”
“Nothing.”
“Just spit it out,” Kaz says, tapping my knuckles.
“Spit what out?”
“Whatever you’re thinking.” She pinches her eyebrows and frowns, mimicking me. “You look like your brain’s about to smoke.”
“You shouldn’t be able to read me so well already.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She grins.
“I just…” I try to phrase it gently. “What would you have done if I hadn’t shown up?”
“I don’t get it.” She scrunches her nose.
“Would you have resigned yourself to staying here forever?”
She gets tense. “You’re asking why I didn’t just build a magical doorway and get myself back home in my spare time?”
“No. Of course not. But… just taking up someone else’s life because you fell into it… wasn’t there anything you could do to move towards your own goals? At least try—”
Her nostrils flare. “Yes. Everyday I tried. I tried to survive.”
“Kaz.”
Her eyes narrow. “Guess what? I’m not ashamed of what I became. I didn’t waste time dwelling on the unknown. I made myself a place here and I’m proud of it.”
“I’m not saying you shouldn’t be—”
She turns on the radio, loud, and stares out the window, cutting off all conversation with me.
9
Kaz
The radio’s tuned to some obnoxious rock station playing alternative music. I reach out and slap the volume knob higher to cancel all further conversation.
My head hurts.
My heart hurts too.
I feel… like my hands are tied.
But not behind my back.
Like one hand is tugging me in Morgan’s direction and the other one is tugging me in Miles’s.
They’re two different men.
One is my fiancé and the other is my acquaintance.
Maybe friend.
Just my friend.
So he shouldn’t even be stirring these feelings in me.
But hanging out with Morgan today, I laughed like crazy. Like I was going to explode from joy and life and rightness.
And I saw the pain in his eyes lessen a bit. It didn’t disappear completely, but it slipped to the background.
He forgot about it.
We both did.
Forgot important things, I mean.
Like the fact that I’m engaged to someone else.
When I was holding Morgan’s hand, I didn’t remember Miles.
Not once.
And then I kept holding Morgan’s hand.
And I kept laughing.
Then he rescued Philippa. He spoke so gently to her
, in such a warm and caring tone. My heart melted.
I tried to imagine Miles helping Philippa. I couldn’t. He wouldn’t even notice her, much less go out of his way to reunite her with her mother.
And that bothers me.
Because I do love Miles.
I do.
I chose him.
He’s my fiancé.
I’m wearing his ring.
But what I saw, what I felt, what I experienced with Morgan today is enough to have me second guessing.
That’s dangerous.
He’s dangerous.
So I lashed out to protect myself.
I over-reacted.
I know I did.
Morgan only voiced his opinions because I pushed him and, even then, he phrased it gently. Like he wanted me to know that he wasn’t attacking me. It wasn’t a scolding but a tender nod to a different point of view.
I couldn’t handle that. And I exploded.
But the fact that I could be so fierce and aggressive shows that I’m far more comfortable around him than I think. It shows that I feel safe enough to express myself around him.
I’m in so much trouble.
Morgan gives me a turn it down look. I ignore him and stare out the window. City lights dazzle, brighter than the stars coursing through the velvet sky. In the distance, I hear the ocean. It reminds me of the island. Of home.
I close my eyes and force myself to pretend I’m back at Brighton Academy, lying in Miles’s lap as we enjoy a breezy picnic by the beach.
A tap on my shoulder crushes the vision.
It’s Morgan.
“We’re here,” he says flatly.
I open my eyes and stare at a beautiful house. A huge swimming pool casts blue shadows on the concrete. Trimmed bushes form a natural fence. The front of the house is made of glass and, from what I can tell, the decor is minimal and clean.
I’m impressed. “This is your place?”
He nods. Points left. “Garage is that way.”
I follow him around the side. There are two men inside the garage. One is huge with an olive-skin tone and brown eyes. The other guy is small and wiry. Long dreads fall down his back.
Morgan does a quick introduction. “That’s McCarthy. The giant back there is Pavel.”
“Nice to meet you.” I wave.
“Incredible.” McCarthy walks around me. His eyes flick to Morgan. “Are you sure she’s from…?”