by Dayna Quince
He supposed he could have left a note, but he didn’t want to risk it being lost or found by the wrong person.
Hopefully Luckfeld didn’t say more than necessary to her.
Luckfeld was his only ally regarding Georgie and him, but he hadn’t been pleased to play messenger.
Gavin changed out of his clothes and bathed himself, donning a fresh set of clothing but not wasting time with a waist coat and neckcloth. He pulled on his most comfortable coat, not particularly quality clothing by Luckfeld’s standards but Gavin loved it. He blew out the candles in his room and banked his fire, just in case.
He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but if things went well… He didn’t plan on coming back to his room until dawn.
He had no reason to hope for such an occasion, other than his heart and his head seemed to be on a mission to turn him into a lovesick fool.
For two nights he’d dreamt of her, reliving their every moment and transforming them into his greatest fantasy. His imagination could be wild, but in the light of day, all he really wanted was her. He didn’t need debauchery. He had no desire for his old pursuits now.
What he needed was Georgie, and he was ready to throw himself at her feet and declare that his heart was hers for the taking no matter what the cost.
He left his room, his breathing fast, his blood coursing hot in his veins. On silent feet, he made his way toward her chamber, his eyes adjusting to the darkness as he climbed the back stairs and entered her hall. He counted the doors just to be sure he’d be entering the right one. He lightly touched the handle, but it didn’t turn. He pushed, but still it did not move.
He cursed silently.
She’d locked her door. Why did he not consider that?
He checked his pockets for his penknife, but he’d left it in his room. He ran a hand through his hair, scowling at the locked door. It was too much of a risk to go back and forth; he’d be begging for discovery. He considered his options, one to go back to his room and stay there. Two, go back and return, which was both desperate and foolish. Or three…scratch at her door.
He sighed.
Damn it all to hell. He scratched.
He didn’t hear a sound at all from her room. He gritted his teeth, cursing his awful luck. This was the most desperate thing he’d ever done, scratching at the door of a virgin, praying she’d answer and not scream the house down or trample all over his heart.
He was a rake, damn it. He knew better than to pull a ridiculous stunt like this.
But he was in love, and the idea of spending another night alone, not knowing how she felt seemed like an eternity of damnation. He leaned his head against the door and exhaled, defeated by a damn metal lock, something his new forge would be making in a matter of months.
He stared down at the carpet, and before his eyes, a strip of light appeared under her door. His heart stopped, and then it resumed a wicked pace, his pulse hammering in his ears. A little head appeared under the door, and then a tiny fur body slipped out.
“Kit!” Georgie cried softly from the other side of her door.
Gavin bent and picked the little escapee up, Kit clinging to his hand with his little nails and then his teeth. Gavin threw his head back, biting his lip to keep from cursing aloud as tiny knife points sank into his thumb. Her door opened, and Gavin presented the little monster for her to take.
She stood there a moment, stock still, just staring at him.
Kit bit down again and Gavin grunted in pain. She snapped out of her daze and took him, scolding him in a whisper as she turned away and put him back in some basket-like container. Gavin hurried in, closing the door with a click, and because he wasn’t in the mood to be discovered in her room by anybody else than that damn weasel, he locked it.
She turned to face him, licking her lips.
Gavin presented his bleeding thumb without a word and she jumped into action. She took his injured hand and dragged him to the water basin to clean his wound with soap and water. He winced as she poured water over it, but then he caught sight of her neck, her pulse bounding under the petal soft skin of her throat. He couldn’t feel anything but the heat in his body, the way her hand felt around his, the soft rush of her breathing.
“We ought to dip your thumb in strong spirits to prevent a nasty infection,” she said. Her first words to him since she’d effectively crushed his heart.
He swallowed but had nothing to say in return just yet. He just wanted to look at her.
She wrapped a clean handkerchief around his thumb. “Hold this in place until the bleeding stops,” she said, and then her gaze tentatively met his.
His mouth went dry. Her eyes were still sleep-glazed, her cheeks flushed, and her mouth rosy. God, she was gorgeous. It hurt to look at her and not touch her. It was all he wanted to do and yet… He couldn’t. Not yet. Not until he knew she wanted him with the same reckless need he suffered.
“Georgie…” he said at last. She bit her lip, clearly anxious, and he lost his train of thought. She was achingly beautiful, like something from a dream, her skin soft and begging for his touch, her hair cascading around her shoulders. Her virginal white nightgown hiding everything from him, taunting him with what he could not have.
“Gavin…” Her soft voice filled the room, a caress to his senses, touching him deep inside where he had missed just the sound of her.
He moistened his dry mouth. “I told you I'd come back.”
“You didn't tell me anything,” she said, her tone cold.
His heart pounded, fear mixing with the ever-present desire.
“Luckfeld had to tell me,” she said, her brow furrowing.
“I'm sorry. I didn't know if you would even speak to me,” he admitted.
He'd been transformed by his short journey, his heart, his mind, his body altered by the absence of her presence. But what if she hadn't? What if she hadn't missed him at all? What if her feelings had also changed in that short time? What if she realized what a mistake it would be to love him, to marry him? He couldn't let her forget everything they shared.
“If I thought you would have spoken to me, I would've told you I was leaving Georgie. I would have taken you with me.” He swallowed. “So much has happened in the short time I was gone. I’m a new man. There’s so much to explain and I don't even know if I can explain it, but I have to tell you… I—”
She took a shaky breath. “Don’t, so much has happened. I can't—”
She shook her head and he could have dropped to his knees right there and begged her to reconsider. His heart dropped to his feet and he couldn’t move.
“Don’t give up on me, please,” he begged.
She held his gaze, her eyes glossy with tears.
He kissed her, sealed his mouth over hers. He didn't want to hear words. He didn't want to hear any denials. He wanted her to feel, to remember his touch, his kiss. He'd convince her all over again if he had to. Whatever it took. He would not leave this room until she understood without a single doubt that he loved her, that he would do anything in his power to keep her, to ensure she never had reason to question him.
It frightened him how much he needed her.
He’d never needed anyone like this. He’d never let himself need anyone like this. He’d lived his life relying only on himself. As a boy, he’d learned he couldn’t rely on others, not even his own parents, to give him the love and security a person needs to feel whole.
But he’d give those things to her or he’d die trying.
He broke the kiss, panting, his emotions pressing at his seams. He held her face in his hands, and when she met his gaze, the wound in him opened and he didn’t know what would come out.
“I love you,” he said. Shocked the words had come so easily, unbidden. “I’ve never said those words to anyone. But I love you, and I want to marry you. You will come first, from this day on. I can promise you that. I need you, more than I’ve ever needed anything, and I want us to marry and have a family. I never knew I wanted those th
ings until I met you. We can live wherever you want. I’ll buy you a farm or I’ll build you one. You can rescue whatever animals you wish or spend your days at leisure and never work again. Whatever you want I will give it to you as long as you know you have my heart too. I love you, Georgie. I cannot say it enough.”
She sniffed, and then tears tangled in her lashes.
“Gavin,” she cried. She hugged him, burying her face against his chest and he didn’t know what it meant.
Oh, God, was it possible to die from suspense? She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her nightgown and then focused on him. She gave him a watery smile.
“I’m sorry,” she said with a little laugh.
She’s sorry?
He stood there, dumb, surely about to die of embarrassment. His own heart ready to crumple in defeat. But then she leaned into him, her fingers touching his jaw, tracing the line of his stubbled chin.
“I love you,” she said, biting her lip and then smiling.
His knees almost buckled as he let out a pent-up breath.
No one had ever said those words to him. He hadn’t known how badly he’d needed to hear them until now. And coming from her, it was like hearing angels sing, a heavenly aria filling his ears.
“You do?” he said, barely able to hear his own words through the roar of his galloping pulse.
She nodded.
“Please say it again,” he begged, pulling her tightly against him.
She giggled, her breath tickling his ear. “I love you,” she said.
He closed his eyes, lifting her and walking to the bed. “Again.”
She kissed his ear lobe. “I love you.”
The words ravaged him, tearing apart his walls, his fears. He lifted her to the bed, pulling the coverlet out of the way.
“Again,” he said.
She grinned. “I love you.”
He kissed her, tasting the words on her lips, ambrosia, the food of the gods.
He pulled away, undressing down to his breeches and climbing beside her.
Her smile wavered and she put her hand on his chest, over his heart. “I want to hear you say it again.”
He leaned over her. “I love you.
She slid her fingers through the hair on his chest. “And we don’t have to leave Northumberland? We can marry and live here?”
He bent and kissed her, her lips clinging to his. “We can live where ever you wish.”
A line appeared between her brows. “What changed? What is different from before?”
He had to think for a moment. He didn’t know if he could adequately explain all he’d been thinking and feeling the past two days.
He took a deep breath. “I’m not sure exactly what changed in me. I feel like I…woke up. I had a taste of what my life would be without you and I couldn’t bear it. I don’t want to live as my father did. In Newcastle, I realized how my employees see me, and it was too close to what my father had been. I didn’t want them to have to do as I did, working all the time, making no room for family, for…love.”
Her eyes searched his. He didn’t know what she saw there, but he hoped she believed him. He knew it was sudden, a complete about-face, but only because she couldn’t see inside his head. She couldn’t know how intently and obsessively he’d been working through it on his own. There was nothing sudden about it to him. He’d been pondering these very things for hours on end, on horseback, in bed at night, even while inspecting his forge. She’d been the center of his world since, well, since the moment he arrived at the house party and Chester introduced them. Now that he thought about it, he’d been slowly falling in love with her for nearly a fortnight. That didn’t seem so sudden to him. He was just glad it happened at all, that he wasn’t too hardheaded to completely miss this altogether. He didn’t want to even think about life without her.
“I’m going to make love to you, Georgie. Do you know what that means?”
She nodded, biting her lip. She always did that. Was it her tell?
“Do you want me to?”
She nodded. “But…”
“But what?”
“You said we shouldn’t because of the risks.”
“The risk of marriage? Or the risk of pregnancy? I want to marry you and I want to see you bear our child. There are no more risks. I don’t want to waste another second when the future is ours to be had. Whatever we want.”
She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath.
He stilled. “Unless…you don’t want to.”
She smiled and opened her eyes. “I do. Oh. I do, Gavin. I’ve wanted that for so long. I’d given up on the dream of a family of my own. I thought I’d lost that chance.”
He touched his forehead to hers. “Now the chance is ours.”
They kissed again, lips melding, tongues dueling, and clothes disappearing over the side of the bed. He didn’t want to go slow, but this was the beginning of their forever, and they should savor each moment together.
Chapter 25
Georgie shivered as his expert mouth burned a trail of kisses from the lobe of her ear to her collarbone. He stopped there, his tongue dragging over her pulse, stirring ticklish goose bumps to flare over her skin. He moved lower, slow and careful, placing tender kisses on her skin to the tip of her breast, before taking her nipple into his mouth and gently sucking. Her back arched, her spine bowing to the delicious pleasure of his mouth on her, bending her to his passion, binding her body to his.
He moved to her other breast, driving her to distraction, weaving a web of intense desire until she was begging him for more, and for relief. He moved lower still, parting her thighs, his head burrowing between and using his skillful tongue to take her to a new plane of sensation. She moaned his name, her fingernails digging into the sheet, breathless cries filling the room. But he wasn’t finished with her yet. He used his hands and his mouth to bring her to a soaring peak but then stopped.
She glared at him as he moved up her body, a knowing smiling on his lips.
“When you find release it will be with me inside you.”
She couldn’t argue with that statement. She could barely breathe. Her heart jumped in erratic joy as he settled his manhood between her thighs. She couldn’t help but tense, her nerves stretched as the monumental meaning behind what was about to happen settled over her.
They were going to marry.
He’d said he loved her, he’d said everything she’d needed to hear.
She’d emptied her own heart of all her love for him, and he refilled it with his. She couldn’t be happier than she was now. What may have been too good to be true before tonight, was now simply, the truth. She had every faith in him. The moment was surreal, as perfect and as passionate as her wildest dream.
But she wasn’t dreaming. He was real. He was hers.
He nudged inside her, bracing himself on his arms, his eyes trained on her as he pushed deeper. Georgie closed her eyes, fighting the urge to tense, to brace herself against the invasion of his body, but she wanted him so badly, to be joined with him in the most primal, biblical way. She’d never been religious, but she believed in the spirit of their beings, their souls. This was what she was made to do, with him, together.
She lifted her knees higher, cradling him, and he sank deeper, their bodies sliding together to one.
He shook, his eyes falling closed as he adjusted his hold, coming to rest closer to her, and began moving his hips. Georgie let out a pent-up breath, the friction of their bodies easing, the stinging fading as her body adjusted to him and their movement. She held him, his heart beating against hers.
“Oh, Georgie,” he moaned, feeding her passion. She quickly returned to her previous state, her body clamoring for release. She held him tightly, kissing his shoulder, bringing her knees to his hips. She moved with him, her gasps turning to sighs and then moans. In her body the coil of tension tightened, twisting until she couldn’t breathe, until stars exploded behind her eyes and pleasure speared. She shuddered, crying his name, h
er body arching into his as ecstasy cascaded through her.
“Yes,” he groaned, pumping faster, wrapping one arm under her back and the other under her hips, lifting her up and driving into her until he found his own climax, thrusting hard and then slow as he moaned her name into her neck, his heart pounding against her breast, and then he fell to the side of her. He adjusted the blanket over them and they lay there breathing, their bodies glazed with sweat, the scent of him on her skin. Georgie nestled into his side, dazed and sleepier than she’d ever been.
He kissed her brow. “I love you.”
She smiled. “I love you.”
“Just to be sure, since I don’t think I asked properly, and it is exceedingly important that I have an answer. Will you marry me?”
Georgie twisted her lips to hide her smile as she cracked one eye open. “I need to think about it.”
He growled as he wrapped her in his arms. “Georgette Marsden.”
She giggled. “Ask me again.”
He rolled her to her back and leaned over her, brushing her hair from her face.
“Will you marry me?”
She stared up at him, her heart doing flips, about to burst from her chest from sheer happiness. She wanted to burn this moment, the sight of him, vulnerable, passion dazed, into her memory for all time.
“Yes,” she said at last. “I will marry you.”
The next day was the ball, and Selbourne Castle was a madhouse of preparations. Despite the insane happenings thus far, it was decided the ball would still happen as planned, though none of the Kirkland party guests would be attending since the party had been disbanded early. Georgie couldn’t keep a smile from her face, which meant she had to studiously avoid her sisters unless she wanted to answer uncomfortable questions.
Which she didn’t. All she wanted was to be alone with Gavin, but she couldn’t and it was frustrating to have to sit and pretend she wasn’t madly in love with the man sitting two chairs down from her during luncheon, during the afternoon walk on the beach, or having tea before they all separated to prepare for the ball.