by Amo Jones
He blows out a cloud of smoke, his eyes on mine. I couldn’t help but drop my gaze to the thick bulge in his pants that are still not fucking buttoned.
“I’ll fuck you soon, but first…” He puffs on his smoke, tugging on his hair. “Fuck it. I can’t wait. This can’t wait.”
“What can’t?” My body aches as I whimper and move to the edge of the bed, reaching for his pack of cigarettes on the bed and putting one in my mouth.
“Fuck!” he whispers, and then drops down to the ground opposite me, dragging his feet up to rest his elbows on the top of his knees.
“You’re worrying me…” I stand, tucking the sheet into the front of my breasts and making my way across the small room. I flick the light on in the closet and reach for the bottle of tequila.
Bringing it back to the room, I twist off the lid and take a brave swig. Hissing, I hand it to him. “It’s all I’ve got and that’s thanks to Perse.” I knew something else was bothering him.
Killian shakes his head. “Don’t need it, but you might.”
I take a puff of my smoke and hug the bottle to my chest.
“I didn’t want to tell you right now, and fuck, I actually am not supposed to be telling you right now, but there’s something that I’m hoping I’m right about.”
“What?” I urge, my heart now picking up in pace. Gone is the fatigue.
His eyes bore into mine. “You don’t remember me?”
I shake my head. “No?”
“Fuck.” He runs his hands through his hair, reaching into his pocket, he pulls out his phone and hits dial on someone’s number. “Yeah, you awake? I wouldn’t if it wasn’t important. I need you to come to Saskia’s house.” Pause. “So she doesn’t kill me when she finds out.” He hangs up his phone and tosses it onto the floor.
“Killian.” I drop to the ground opposite him. “Tell me.”
Minutes pass. Three more cigarettes and a whole lot of silence later.
He brings the bottle to his mouth just as headlights flash through the windows and doors close. Three, if I counted right.
He falls silent again before whispering, “I need you to know.”
There’s a knock on my door. “Come in!” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I’m momentarily traumatized by what I probably look like.
Turning to look over my shoulder, Delila, King, and Perse walk into the room. Perse is in pajamas, and Delila is in a silk robe. King is wearing gray sweats and a hoodie. Obviously everyone jumped out of bed as soon as Killian said that he was about to tell me something.
“Jesus,” Perse scolds Killian. “Really?”
“What?” I ask absently.
King chuckles, shaking his head and Delila rolls her eyes.
They shut the door and make themselves comfortable in the room.
Killian is the first to speak. “In Kiznitch, Delila came to the house to tell me—well, to warn me of you.”
“Warn you?” I scowl.
Killian quiets me with a glare.
“Ever wondered where you got your last name Dragavei?”
“Yes, all of the time since finding out. I figured I’d talk to Delila about it sooner or later.”
Killian takes another pull of his tequila. “Your mother was a Dragavei, your father was a Royal. The reason why I didn’t realize it was you at first was because when you were a kid, your parents called you Zaika, and your last name was Dragavei then, not Royal.” He clears his throat. “Your mother was cut off after she started dating your father. Her parents—your grandparents who also owned this house—cut off their only daughter because of your father.”
I stop him, shaking my head. “She was a Dragavei?” I wonder what Papa did to make them angry.
“I was two when you were born. Your parents were already working for my parents. You were born in my damn bedroom because your mother went into labor while cleaning my bathroom.”
“Wait!” I shoot up from the ground. “Pause. What do you mean they were working for your parents? And why—what…”
Perse comes up beside me, running her hand up and down my arm. “Let him finish, Sass. We can figure out the rest once he has told you everything that he knows.”
I look down at Killian.
He continues, “Your parents worked for my parents as your mom, Lucia, cooked, cleaned, kept the house up to standards and in return, my father gave your father protection, the pool house to raise you in, and his gambling debt being paid.” You were born in my damn bedroom. My eyes slam closed. “Open your fucking eyes, Saskia, I’m not even halfway done.”
I do, and he stands from his position on the floor. “When you were born, I saw you open your goddamn eyes for the first time ever. I was the first fucking thing you ever saw on this earth.”
I shake my head, stepping backward until the bed hits the back of my legs. “No. No. Why—no. We stayed in Kiznitch but only until—”
Killian steps forward. “—You were eight years old when you left. Your father ran after your mother died. I remember. I remember every single fucking thing, Saskia, but the question is, why the fuck don’t you?” He tilts his head. “You hated me as a child. You’d call me a rich brat and make my life a living hell. You ruined so much for me as a kid. Always hanging around. Always fucking there. I made your life hell for those eight years.” He’s standing directly in front of me now, his hands gripping my chin, tilting my face up to his. “So the question is, do you or do you not remember, and are you really just fucking with me for revenge?”
I swallow, the world caving in and the sides of my eyes turning black. “Why—why—would I—” I shake my head. For the first time ever. Ever. Tears prick the corners of my eyes.
“Are you crying?” Perse asks, shocked. “She doesn’t cry,” I hear her whisper to someone.
“I’m not lying, Killian. I’m not sleeping with you for revenge. I don’t remember any of this.”
Killian releases me. He looks to King and then to Delila. “Who fucked with her?”
Delila exhales, standing from the bed and moving to the center of the room. She turns to face me. “I swear you kids are aging me so much faster than I need to be aged.” She reaches for the pack of smokes on my bed and gestures to Killian for the lighter. He hands it to her and she takes a couple of small puffs on her smoke. “Your father didn’t do it.”
“I know he didn’t,” Killian answers smoothly. “I fucking asked him. Who do you think I’d ask first? He’s not bad enough to do that shit to her.”
Delila puffs again. “There was only ever you and the Four Fathers who could perform telekinesis, hypnosis and coercive persuasion to the extreme of it manipulating memories, Killian. No one else. And telekinesis only comes into play when we’re needing to move memories around inside someone’s head. It’s almost the same as moving real objects, only more, you know… realistic.”
“So I can’t unleash her memories like Keres did to Perse?”
Delila shakes her head. “No, and even if there was a possibility, we shouldn’t risk it.”
My hands shake as I snatch the smoke packet from Delila. I put a smoke in my mouth and Killian leans forward, lighting the end.
“There’s another possibility,” King exhales, standing from the bed. He moves to the front of me. “Maybe your father did do it, Killian, but he did it for her. Wouldn’t be the first fuckin’ time he tried to play hero.”
I freeze, blowing out a cloud of smoke. My eyes slam shut. “You guys are wrong. I remember everything when I was a kid. We lived in a two-story small house. I went to Kiznitch Elementary. I—we had a tree at the front of our home with a swing attached to it. I—”
“—the house was dark grey, and the bedrooms were the same color. Your bedroom was up the stairs and your parents at the bottom in a loft style.”
My eyes pop open and Killian is kneeling in front of me, his hands on my legs. “Babe, that was my house. My pool house that you lived in. What else do you remember?”
“Don’t push her, Ki
ll…” King warns.
“I won’t!” Killian brushes him off. “Tell me what you remember.”
I suck in a breath. “I was young, so it’s natural to not remember every single thing, but I don’t remember living with your parents. That house was ours. I don’t—” I shake my head, reaching deep inside of my brain to find something. “I don’t remember the driveway.” My eyes fly to Killian. “Why don’t I remember the driveway?” My legs begin to shake again and my throat tenses. There’s ringing in my ears as I hold back a scream.
“She’s going to freak out, Killian, stop,” Perse snaps.
“Because they haven’t wiped your memories.” Killian stands back, squaring his shoulders. “They’ve only removed me from them. In her mind, I didn’t exist. My parents didn’t exist.”
Realization washes over me. He is right. I remember all of The Brothers growing up, not vividly, but I remember seeing them at school and everyone knew who they were. The whole town of Kiznitch knew who The Brothers of Kiznitch were. But Killian isn’t in those memories.
I stand to my feet, itchy to move. “Oh my god, I feel violated!”
“Tell me about it,” Perse mutters.
I swing around to face Killian. “How do I know you didn’t do this? Hmm?”
Killian snatches me by the arm and yanks me into his chest. His eyes are wild, his teeth bared. “Because the last time I saw you, Saskia…” His mouth slams shut. He seems to fight with himself on whether or not he should say anything. Anything at all. He releases me, bringing his cards closer to his chest.
“Because?” I repeat.
“I wouldn’t fuckin’ do that to you.” He shoots a look at Perse. “No offense.”
Delila takes a seat back on the chair in the room. “For some reason, I think I trust you,” she says to me, folding her leg over the other. “So, when I say these next words, you are to not allow them to leave this room. Understood?”
I nod. “Understood.”
Delila lights another smoke. “We go on the road tomorrow. No one knows this, but I have a bug planted in Patience.” She blows out a thick cloud of smoke.
“What?” King snaps. “Who?”
“About that,” Perse mutters. “You can take Callan.”
I snort, and then clear my throat.
Delila looks between Perse and I. “Oh what’s the matter? The two queens can’t take a bit of competition. Get used to it. Girls will always be all over The Brothers’ dicks.”
I rear my head back. “Yeah, I don’t care.”
Delila ignores me. “Don’t worry who it is. She has been in there a while and owes me a favor. I wasn’t waiting around and twiddling my thumbs, you should know this,” she says to King.
“I thought that we were going to wait…” King announces, obviously frustrated that Delila made a decision without him.
“For what? The Fathers to give their blessing? That will never happen because in their eyes, well, all but Kallisto, they’d just take them all out.”
“Seems legit.” Killian shrugs, taking a seat on the bed but facing me, with his knee pulled up and his elbow resting on top.
Delila laughs. “Sometimes I find it truly fascinating how similar you are to your grandfather. He would be proud.” Delila stubs out her smoke in the ashtray beside the bed. “We will go on the road tomorrow, and we will get to the bottom of this, Saskia.”
My eyes go to Killian. “Is that why you pushed me away? Because you thought I was using you? You thought I was here with you as some kind of revenge?”
He doesn’t flinch. “Yes.”
“I don’t have any memories of you,” I whisper, shaking my head.
“You won’t want them,” Killian answers.
I feel myself slowly crumbling inside, the walls I’ve spent so many years building slowly turning to rubble. My lip quivers.
Killian reaches for me, pulling me into his chest. I sink into his grasp, confused and not wanting to talk anymore. I don’t want to so much as entertain anyone with small talk.
“Is this official?” Perse asks, gesturing between us but pointing her question at Killian. “Because if it is, I have the right to chop off your dick if I see Callan hanging off your arm next time.”
I snuffle. Usually, I’d laugh, but with the mixture of everything that has been said, the sex and all of the orgasms Killian has given me tonight, I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.
“It’s not, but you don’t have to worry about Callan coming near me, Little Bird.”
“And other girls?” Perse persists.
“P,” King growls. “Let them sort that shit out, it’s none of your business.”
Perse sighs and then drops down opposite me. “We will talk some more tomorrow. For now, I need you all to get some rest.” Perse’s hand comes to mine. I relax at her touch. “I’m sorry, Saskia. I’m going to be here for you through everything.”
“It’s okay, Perse. It’s not your fault. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She kisses me on the head and glares at Killian. “Take care of her, Trickster. I mean it about your dick.”
“Oh come on,” he jests. “The one time you say something about my dick and it’s in the context of chopping it off.”
“Snip, snip!” she sing-songs while closing the door behind her.
And then it’s just us.
“Hey.” He pulls me back, searching my eyes. I can barely look at him. I don’t know how to feel about or toward him now that I know—without knowing. When someone knows parts about you that you don’t know, they get to decide whether or not they want to give them back to you. That’s a lot of power for Killian to have over me.
“Just tired,” I murmur, yawning.
“Yeah, okay.” He pulls me into his chest more, flipping the bedside light off. Before I can move myself in a position that will make him comfortable, I’m drifting off to sleep with his scent and touch drowning me.
It was four a.m. when I woke this morning. Not that I got much fucking sleep to begin with. Between my raging hard cock, Saskia’s body wrapped around me, and everything that happened last night, sleep didn’t want to come.
So that’s why I’m here.
Feet to grass running through the woods we run through any time we’re back in The Big Easy. “No Regrets” From Eminem is pulsing through my headphones as sweat pours from my chest.
I fucking told her last night, and what’s worse, is that I believe her. I believe her every single time she looks up at me with those bright blue eyes. I squeeze mine shut briefly in an attempt to block hers out, only it never works. She and I are fighting the same war that neither of us will win.
I left her early this morning, needing to restock my clothes from home before we set out on the road tonight. Hitting King’s house, my phone vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out to a text from her.
Drago—Where’d you disappear to?
I type out a reply. Had to grab some shit and shower.
Drago—Oh, true.
She doesn’t reply again so I make my way into the house, kicking the door closed behind me. Perse is standing in the hallway, leaning against the doorframe that leads to the back of the house.
“Good run?” She blows on her coffee.
“What’d I do now?” I smirk, flicking off my headphones to sit around the back of my neck.
She laughs. “Nothing. Yet. Are you ready? Where’s Saskia?”
I roll my eyes. “We’re not together, Perse. She doesn’t have to be everywhere I am.”
“True,” Perse murmurs, following me into the kitchen.
I start pulling out all the things that I need to make my protein shake.
“Don’t take too long. A lot of people are after her.”
I freeze.
I consider myself a reasonable person. I can look at both sides of any argument and decipher it to make sense to me, but Killian is something I can’t make sense of. You put his broken parts in my hands and all I’ll probably do is try to fix them, and Killia
n isn’t someone you can fix.
“You’ve got everything?” Kenan asks, pushing his aviator glasses down over his eyes. “Why the sad face?”
I grasp onto the handle of my suitcase and start heading to the front door. “I’m not sad.”
“You better not be. You had Killian Cornelii under you last night.”
Blowing on my to-go coffee, I ignore his jab as Val pulls down my driveway in a hot pink golf cart.
I pause. “What the?”
V laughs, bringing it to a stop outside the steps. “What? You’ve never seen a golf cart before? Come on. It’s easier to navigate around here with it.”
Chuckling, I jump up beside her as Kenan hops on the back, holding both of our suitcases. “Lucky all the rest of our luggage is already there. Don’t think we’d all fit otherwise.”
“Oh it has a trailer,” Val answers smoothly, putting the cart into first gear and jolting us forward toward Delila’s house. “How was your night with Trickster?”
“They fucked a lot and then he left her!” Kenan hollers from the back, just as we hit a speed bump.
“Can you not?” I glare at Kenan.
Kenan shrugs, blowing me a kiss.
“I’m glad the walls are soundproof, though I could have slept through a damn tornado last night.”
“Well, yeah, it was good. I don’t know, Val. I don’t know about him.”
“What about him?” she asks, looking at me over her arm every now and then. I’ve yet to ask her if she knew who I was after being told my last name was Dragavei, but I don’t know if I’m allowed to yet. Her long blonde hair is moving with the wind, her gold skin hitting the sun perfectly, as if they were meant to be a match. Her and the damn sun. I hope Val finds love one day, even if it’s not with Maya. I’m not sure Maya deserves her anyway.
“He’s complicated. There’s so much to Killian that I don’t think I’d ever come close to touching the surface.”
She pauses. “Do you want to go below the surface?”
It was a double-edged question. If I answer yes, that means that I want more. To know him more—which I do—but I’m not sure whether I want anyone else to know that yet. And if I answer no, Val will know I’m lying and then it’ll just bring me back to scenario one.