by Amo Jones
I shake myself out of a blur, reaching for the knife Killian has in his hand, with his gun in the other. “Babe, what are you doing?”
Before I can think about anything else, I rush forward, jumping over the dead body at my feet. Kosta is laughing, watching the pure manic scene that’s unfolding around us. Right now, I don’t care that there are stray bullets flying through the air.
I don’t care.
I just want one thing. One.
I lean up with a scream, launching the tip of the knife right into his chest. I’m shocked at how easy it was to sink it into his body.
His cigar falls to the ground, his face crumpling.
Someone is yelling in the background, but I ignore it. “You needed to die,” I whisper, pushing him backward until he’s falling back into his chair.
Killian’s arms wrap around me as he slings me over his shoulder, everything turning upside down. He draws his gun and shoots one of Kosta’s guards that are near the front door. It’s not until we’re out in the open that he puts me down to my feet.
“I—” I stop talking.
Killian grabs onto my hand and directs me toward a jeep that’s on the outskirts of the property, where it merges into forest land. Kyrin is in the driver’s seat, waiting.
Killian picks me back up and throws me into the back, swinging the passenger’s door open to slide in.
“Kill!” King calls out, running up to the car. “We’re going to burn the house down to the ground.”
“How many did we lose?”
King’s eyes come to mine as he shuffles in his spot. “Two.”
“We’ll be back.”
King bangs on the roof of the car and Kyrin sets off, driving us through a clearing between bushes. We duck and swerve between trees, completely off road.
After maybe ten minutes, Kyrin stops, jumping out of the car as Killian comes around to face me.
“What? You’re going to kill me?” I ask, knowing that that was probably going to happen. I’ve caused a lot of drama. I was a snitch without realizing I was a snitch. They didn’t care about that, though, all they know is that I was a Patience child. I had to go.
“You think we’re going to kill you?” Killian laughs, pulling me out of the Jeep. “I need to show you something.”
Kyrin follows closely behind us as we head through two small trees. A cabin comes into view, wooden walls constructed by rusted metal fittings. There are no visible windows, and an aged rocking chair at the front.
“I know this place. Why am I here?” I scrunch my eyes as if to block out the memory.
“You aren’t the only person who has been fucked up by Patience,” Kyrin mutters behind me, and I turn to face him, shocked at the soft tone he used.
“You?”
Kyrin’s eyes darken, even more than usual. There’s an air of danger that hovers around Kyrin, and I get the feeling that I’m about to finally get my first inhale. He starts walking toward the cabin, and I follow behind him with Kill next to me. I know it looks stupid, and if this was a movie, I know that everyone would be screaming at the stupid girl walking into a random cabin in the woods with two killers, but I do anyway. Is that trust? Who knows.
We all stomp up the stairs, the heavy weight squeaking beneath us as Kyrin opens the front door. He pauses at the threshold. “Haven’t been back here since that day.”
I think over what he’s saying. “I know what they used to use this cabin for. I remember. It was when Mayhem and the Four Fathers thought they got Patience out of Kiznitch, but they didn’t. Kiznitch was so busy looking for their hiding places in Patience that they forgot to look in their own backyard. Patience didn’t shit where they ate. They’d house the people, kids, who were for sale, in here. The kids were always snatched from Mayhem before it shut down. In the bedrooms, there are shackles, beds, old urine stains on the floors…”
Kyrin freezes, and I inch my way in beneath his arm. “I was here once, too.”
“I know.” Kyrin looks up at me from beneath his lashes. “I saw you one day, coming in here and being tied to the table right there.” Kyrin points to an aged dining table with four wooden legs.
“Why am I here!” I yelled, desperate for an answer but unwilling to show any weakness.
“You need to train. Stretch. Your legs. This…” Kosta latched the metal spreader to my upper thighs while connecting me to the feet of the table. “I’ll be back when I think you’re ready.”
Lilith’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, but she shook it off. Lilith was about as soulless as her father, but I thought she was a friend.
“Forty-eight hours later,” I whisper, leaning down and running my hand over the foot where the indentation of my cuffs remained. “And I still wasn’t wide enough for him when he continued to fuck me the next day.”
I look up at Kyrin as pain flashes through his eyes. Sweat beads down from his temple. “Fucking hate that bitch.”
“Who?” I ask softly, standing back to my feet.
“Lilith.”
I slowly make my way to him, noting how Killian stiffens beside Kyrin. “What did she do?”
“Does it matter?” Kyrin murmurs, searching my face and my lips. “The only person who really knows what it feels like—” He pauses, swallows and looks back at me. “Is you, but you hide it well.”
“I had my memories taken, Kyrin. I cheated,” I say, now that we’re toe-to-toe. “And aside from that, it’s all I’ve known. Pain. Hurt. Anguish. Neglect. This place, though…” I look around, shivering as I take in the cool stone walls, open fireplace with dust build up inside of it and neglected kitchen. “So bad.”
My eyes come back to Killian, who’s watching me carefully. “We tried to buy you at a show once, to save you. I remember what they did to you over those two days, Saskia, it came close to what I had to endure for the days I was here. We obviously didn’t know your name, didn’t know who you were, but I recognized you from the cabin.”
“You guys would have been fifteen?”
I do the math in my head. I didn’t have to question it. I never looked the same while in Patience. I was always dolled up. Made to look fake and plastic and artificial. There’s no way they would have thought I looked like the 8-year-old girl who left all those years before. Dressed in Barbie attire with a bedroom to match my dollhouse. All dolls had a dollhouse, and every dollhouse matched their room. When a doll would die, the house would be burned with the doll. Lilith was the leader of all the dolls, and rightly so, what with Kosta as her father.
I gulped, my eyes closing. “I don’t want to think about the last time I was here.”
The chaffing of the metal continued to bite into my flesh as my thighs ached to close. I didn’t want to be here, but I had to train. Kosta was very displeased with my performance, and he needed me more experienced. To be able to bend and stretch my body for long periods of time.
Someone walked in behind me, unlatching one hand and spreading it wide to attach to the other leg of the table. Now I was completely starfish, my ass in the air. Before I could protest, someone entered me from behind. Raw. Hot. I ached. I was dry, completely dry, so I screamed out in pain as the sting started to dissipate. It had only been one week since I had been taken by Kosta. One week. I was still inflamed by the brutality of him. He was upset. Upset that I couldn’t do something so simple as to keep my legs open for him. My inner thighs felt bruised, I was weak, so now I was here. To do better. Get better. The spreader for my arms and legs were now wide enough for my muscles and bones to protest under distress.
He continued. In and out. In and out. “You’re going to be punished for your weakness in the very place your kind resides, Little Doll.” I didn’t know who owned that voice. I didn’t care. I lost my self-worth the second Kosta raped me, now anything after is a wrinkled version of reality, warped and twisted.
I looked up from watery eyes, directly at another boy opposite me. He was wearing a hoodie, covering his face. He was chained. Before I could think too m
uch about him, I drifted off to sleep as the onslaught continued.
“Do you know how many, Saskia?” I knew what Kyrin was asking.
Tears built up in my eyes. “I don’t know. I fell asleep.”
Killian shuffles so he’s beside me. Kyrin’s hand comes to my chin to tilt my head up to his.
“Fifteen.” I choke out a cry, my hand covers my mouth. Tears slide down my face for the second time tonight and I can’t stop them. Pain takes hold in my chest as energy drains from my limbs. I feel vacant while my body feels occupied by people that didn’t belong in there.
“You were fucking thirteen, Little Dragon…” Kyrin says softly.
“Baby…” Killian whispers into my neck, his lips softly rushing over my flesh. “I’m here.”
My eyes flash open to find Kyrin’s on mine. I can’t trust anyone, ever. No one. But for right now, I want to put my trust in Kyrin and Killian. Kyrin has displayed more emotions than I have ever, or would ever think he could, and now we share a common ground.
This ground.
The ground of this cabin.
My mouth opens—but Kyrin’s phone starts blaring in his pocket and he reaches in, bringing it to his ear. “What’s wrong?”
He hangs up his phone. “I’ll be back soon. They need my help.”
“With?” I ask, though I’m not sure I really want the answer.
Ky smirks. “Ever seen a face with no flesh?”
I cringe. “Ew.”
Kyrin chuckles. “I’ll try not to be too long.”
When Kyrin leaves, I swallow past the pain that’s throbbing in my throat, my pulse increasing. I need to know. I need to understand. Before I can stop myself, I’m reaching up to Killian’s face. When my finger touches the curve of where his cheekbone meets his jaw, I stop breathing. “It hurts.”
Killian steps forward, sucking my finger into his mouth as his other hand circles my lower back. “What do you want from me?” His lips come to mine, and I open for him as his tongue dips inside my mouth. My arm hooks around the back of his neck as I feel my tears roll down my cheek, falling from my lips.
I pull back slightly, my heart aching and my vision blurring slightly.
“I don’t care what they did to you, Saskia, I care what you feel.”
My eyes squeeze closed. “I need to—this cabin.”
His hand slips beneath my pants, the cushion of his thumb pressing against my clit. “I’ll kill them.”
My mouth falls open, a soft moan slipping between my lips. “You have demons too.”
He grips onto my waist and lifts me onto the table. The table that helped steal a piece of my soul. His hand dips beneath my top, removing it slowly. “True. I have many, but I wouldn’t be the devil I am today if I never got to commit the sins I did then.” His lips fall onto mine, and I open my mouth as he slowly removes my clothes, until I’m wearing nothing but my panties and bra.
He licks his bottom lip, his eyebrows pulling in. “You’re going to fuck me on this table.” He leans up and takes a seat beside me, grabbing me by my hips and bringing me to his lap, so I’m straddling him. He breathes over my lips. “You’re going to use me to take back your control.” I sob into the crook of his neck, running my tongue over his skin. Slowly, he peels off my panties and flicks them to the side. I reach for his buckle on his belt pulling him free.
He hisses, biting down on my nipple. “Fuck. Make this quick because I don’t know how I’m not supposed to be rough with you.” I slide over his girth, my fingers flexing behind his neck. I clench around him like a vice, unwilling to release him as I draw out and slam myself back down.
“Fuck, babe,” he whispers into the side of my ear as I bring myself up again and grind over him.
He brings his lips to mine, kissing me roughly as he struggles with himself on where to put his hands. Finally, one hand is fisted in my hair as the other rests on the table beside him. I ride him hard, until the slapping of our bodies colliding amalgamates with the animalistic sounds that leave us both.
He brings his palm to my mouth. “If you keep screaming that way, baby, I’m going to get you pregnant.”
I’m about to bite his palm when my orgasm crashes into me in a vicious wave, threatening to drag my ass right out to sea.
Killian releases my mouth, pressing another kiss to it. He’s gentle when he’s rough. He may fuck you within an inch of your life, but he’ll give you back a mile when he’s finished. I climb off his lap, and he watches me carefully. “What are you doing?”
“Stand.”
His face shifts as his eyes twinkle with mayhem. “Don’t get used to this. It’s a one-time thing.”
“Hmmmm.”
Killian does as he’s told, sliding off the table as his jeans and briefs fall to a pool at his feet. His cock is heavy in my hands, and thick. Angry. I graze the cushion of my thumb over his tip.
“Jesus,” I cry out, my face falling against his chest. Killian will always be more than enough for me. I will never have my fill of him. Aside from all of the revelations tonight, I need him for right now.
Killian groans, his head tilting back until his hoodie falls around the back of his neck. Slowly, I slide down to my knees and take him between my lips. His smooth thickness glides over the top of my mouth, as I try to take him all the way in. Gagging, I pull back and cover Killian. My Killian. I don’t know why I’m feeling possessive, but a rush of power rolls over me at that realization that Killian is and always will be mine. Forget the stars aligning, Heaven and Hell moved when we were born. I just don’t know how this is all going to end…
Killian pulls out, getting agitated as per usual, guiding me up by my hair.
He picks me up from the ground and I wrap my legs around him.
Continuing to ravish my lips with his, he starts pushing one finger into my opening, twirling it in circles. I have a feeling what he wants us to do. Good thing it won’t be the first time…
Killian’s hand wraps around my mouth as his fingers reach down my throat. “Spit. And make it a good one.”
I gag, spitting into the palm of his hand.
“Jesus Christ,” he murmurs, leaning down and sucking on my nipples. Killian rubs the saliva over my ass, gently massaging inside my pussy. I hear the movements of his finger and my juices swirling around. He rubs that over my asshole.
“Ready?” he whispers into my ear.
I moan, nodding. “Yes.” Slowly, the tip of his cock is pressing against my opening, and I flinch, knowing that the pain is about to come.
“Relax, baby.”
I do, as if on cue, and my ass swallows him as soon as his tip enters.
He groans so loud the vibrations are felt through the pulsing of my heart. “Fuck.” Biting down on the side of my neck, his teeth graze over my collarbone, sending tingles to explode all over me.
“Holy fuck!” I scream when he pulls out, holding Killian into place by his neck. I need to feel in control.
As if reading my mind, he searches my eyes. “You’re in control. You wanna stop? We’ll stop.”
I nod, licking my lips, just as my body relaxes with the fullness it’s experiencing downstairs. “I don’t want to stop.”
“Good, because fuck that—” He draws out just as he slams back into me.
I’m coming, shamelessly coming after one thrust, but he doesn’t stop. Killian’s sweaty face is against my chest, his teeth biting into my flesh as he pounds into me relentlessly. His growls are animalistic, my moans as loud as a siren. My core clenches again as stars spin behind my lids. I’m dripping in sweat, my skin hyperaware.
“I’m going to come again,” I whimper, my head falling onto Killian, my limbs turning to mush. He speeds up, pressing against a spot deep inside, promising to unleash hell upon my body.
As if on cue, a loud scream erupts from me painfully, unleashing all of the pleasure, pain, agony. He empties inside of me seconds after, before slowly pulling out and stumbling backward. My legs give way, and I’m falling�
�only Killian’s arms swing out to catch me, standing me back to my feet. Cum is dripping out of me from all places, but I feel something else right now.
Elation.
Shaking my head, I chuckle to myself as Killian removes his hoodie and tosses it at me to clean up. I scrub in double time, needing my clothes back on my body when I hear Killian’s truck pull back up outside.
Once I’m changed, Killian hooks his arm around my back, his worry etched over his beautiful face like a painting on display. “You okay?”
I smile softly. “I am.”
It wasn’t a lie. What we did replaced a bit of the darkness with some color. When someone or someones violate you, that doesn’t give them the power to own parts of you.
This cabin? Maybe before today, I wouldn’t have been able to look at another cabin without thinking about that night. Now, I can at least replace that with something new. To have an emotional trigger to a past event is giving your demons power to control you. To control what is going to set you off. It’s never going to be easy, but the first step we can do is work to take back that power.
Kyrin. I don’t think I’ll ever know the true torment that’s embedded into the dark corners of his soul, but I do know everyone is different. What works for some won’t for others.
Killian stands in a white shirt with sweat seeping through, but leaves his jeans unbuckled as he reaches into his pocket to pull out his smokes.
I take one, and he lights it before lighting his own.
“Why did you kill Hope?” I ask the question that I’ve been wanting to ask but couldn’t gather my thoughts fast enough to ask it. Between the murder and the sex. “Was she not good…”
“Not good?” Killian mirrors my tone sarcastically. “She was barely fucking human. There’s a lot that I need to talk to you about with your family, Patience, Kiznitch, and hell, even this cabin. Can we do this back in Kiznitch, or fuck, even on the plane? Got a lot of shit that I need to do, including be there for my best friend whose mother just died.”
There’s a part of me that is disappointed with his answer. I know that Delila being dead is going to cause a massive shift in the Midnight Mayhem world, but my world has also shifted. I’ve found out parts of myself that I didn’t know existed, and now I don’t know who I really am.