by Helene Gadot
"We still have people, family we care about. We can't move them all. And we aren't the only assassins who work for the king. They'll track us down. Besides, we're loyal to the princess. She's a much better person than her father and will be a far superior ruler. He's old. He'll die soon enough." Whist shrugged.
"You're waiting for the day the princess gives you the order to kill him?" Would the princess actually change anything?
Whist heaved a rather depressed sigh. "She won't. Unfortunately."
"What about you, doll? Why are you so against kindreds?" Sky asked.
I nibbled on my bottom lip and push my plate away, hunger vanishing. "My parents weren't kindreds."
TEN
I didn't know what I felt after I gave them a brief retelling of my personal history. I couldn't tell what they felt either. There was a hollow sensation in my chest, but an oddly comforting one. Like the weight I carried everywhere had lifted.
Was I so lonely? So lonely that as soon as I unburdened myself, as soon as I trusted someone with the bare minimal information of my past, as soon as I let someone the slightest bit inside, I took whatever scraps they had to offer?
Why did I trust them so easily? It couldn't be the bond causing it all. Nothing I'd heard and read about the kindred souls bond explained the trust. It explained the lust, it explained the attraction, it explained the comfort their presence brought me.
It didn't explain the trust. Especially for someone like me. They certainly didn't seem to trust me. At least, they didn't seem to trust me not to run, or put myself in danger. Which, fair enough.
And I didn't trust them to let me me choose my own path. So I couldn't allow myself to grow too comfortable with them. I couldn't allow what seemed like three amazing men into my heart. I couldn't allow myself to give into the bond.
The men disappeared, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I needed to begin planning my next move. As lovely as it was there, it wasn't a long-term solution. For any of us.
I needed to convince them to forget about me, to let me go, to return to their lives.
Whist seemed the least interested happy about finding his kindred. He'd mostly stayed away from me since they found me. And he acted as the sort of leader of their little merry band of assassins. If he agreed to let me live my life, the others would probably fall in line.
I slipped out the back door in the cooking area and past the area Sky was training with his sword. Shirtless. Temptation pulled me in his direction, but I shook it off. It didn't matter how beautiful he was or how the sunlight glinted against the sheen of sweat on his chest. It didn't matter the laughter and lightness he'd already brought to my soul in such a short time.
I had to convince Whist the best thing for all of us was for us to go about our lives like we'd never met.
Darting away before Sky caught sight of me, I ducked behind the flowering bushes intertwined with vines of ivy that created a wall on a small white fence. It led to a path which led to a small vegetable garden.
And there was Whist, on his knees in the dirt.
Whist raised his head to watch me approach.
"You garden too?" I stopped a few feet from him.
He sat back on his heels, a soil-covered carrot hanging from his hand. "Of course. I'm pleased to see we still have a bit of crop left this late."
"Does that mean fresh vegetables for dinner?" I shifted from foot to foot, unsure how to broach the subject naturally and I'd never been very good at small talk.
Instead of the usual starlight, his eyes brimmed with dark clouds. "It does. For several of them. I'll need to tin whatever we don't eat, so I have plenty to keep me busy while we hide out over the next few days."
"Wish I could say the same." I didn't take time off. I was always playing or traveling.
"Want to help?" He held out a spade.
I shrugged and accepted it, kneeling down beside him. "I have no idea what I'm doing."
"You didn't have a garden growing up?" He dropped the carrot into a basket already overflowing with vegetables.
"We never lived in one place long enough to plant one. Did your mother teach you this too?" I breathed in the scents of sun-warmed soil, late-blooming flowers, and pine with closed eyes. I'd always loved the song of nature. It called to me, soothed me. Good thing, since I made my home outside.
"She did." His words brought me back to earth, pulling me away from the music only I can hear.
Something in his tone grabbed at me. "What about your father?"
Whist dug at the dirt, his fingers gentle. "He died when I was young. And my mother only had one kindred."
Most people only had one. Multiple matings wasn't unheard of or uncommon, but the majority still only had one kindred.
"So she's spent all this time alone?" Sadness welled in my chest. The poor woman. For decades, she'd been alone, unable to find another love because our king was a dick.
"She has." He stopped digging and stared down at his filthy hands.
"And you don't see anything wrong with that?" I wanted to crack him open and read the thoughts in his brain. He kept his expression so closed down, shuttered.
His head whipped around so he could meet my eyes. "I never said that. I never said I disagreed with anything you said."
"So, you think the kindred souls are a racket too?" I turned my attention back to the vegetables, unable to bear the savage expression on his face.
Whist helped me unearth a potato. "Not at all. I just agree there should be choices instead of laws. Like there used to be and like there is in Havisam."
"What's waiting for you back at the palace?" I grinned down at the potato in my hands. Gardening was rather fun.
"A life of killing for the king." There was no expression in his voice, no emotion. I couldn't figure out how he felt about his job, his life.
"Nothing else? Isn't your mother there?" He'd said she was the palace chef. Wouldn't he want to return to her. Especially since she apparently had no one else.
"Yes."
"Don't you want to go back to her? And go back and wait for the princess to take over and hopefully make things better?" If she ended up actually making things better instead of leaving it as it was. I knew little about her, but had yet to be impressed by the spoiled royals.
A small smile ghosted across his lips. "I'm not an idiot, gorgeous. You're not going to talk me into walking away from you and taking the other two with me."
My shoulders slumped and I grumbled at being so easily read. Damn it. I had to argue him around to seeing things my way. "If you choose to stay with me, you're giving up your life. You may never see your mother again. And you'll probably just end up dead because I'm not running. I won't quit fighting." I couldn't.
"My mother will be fine. The king won't punish her, she's special to the princess and prince. And we won't ask you to quit. But we'll do our best to keep you safe. We'll help you get in and out of villages. Help keep you hidden. We have these sorts of places all over the country."
It all sounded too good to be true and I didn't trust a word. No way would it work. Eventually, they'd grow tired and resent me. "What kind of life is that for you?"
Whist let out a humorless snort. "One a lot better than the one we left."
"How can you mean that? Do you have any idea what life is like on the run?" It was hard, brutal, lonely.
"On the run? No. Always moving, always in danger, never staying in one place long, yes. We won't miss the palace because we're usually only there long enough to receive our next mission and set off again. And we usually aren't sent together, so now the three of us won't be separated any longer." Whist stabbed the spade into the ground with frustrated force.
I frowned. "But you just said last the other night about how your life has been turned upside down. I thought you'd want to return to it." He was supposed to be the one who wanted his life back.
Whist tangled his fingers with mine in the dirt as we dug up an onion. "The last thing I expected was to have one of ou
r assignments turn out to be my kindred. And not just mine, but my two closest friends. It does change everything. But now that I've had time to get over the initial shock and wrap my head around it, I'm no longer frustrated."
My hands stilled beneath his, my heart pounding in my ears. "You're telling me you prefer it this way instead of your kindred being some bartender or tavern owner you could take back to the palace with you?"
"And what kind of life would we give her? One she spends alone in a beautiful house while we're constantly gone on missions? Or one where she's widowed young and has to spend the rest of her life alone like my mother? Or one where she decides to travel with us and we get her killed? Trust me. If you were a bartender, we'd probably still be holed up here trying to figure out our next move." He eased the onion from the earth and tossed it into the basket, one of his hands still squeezing mine.
I stared at him, unsure what to think. Could it be so simple? If I agreed, could I have it all? A powerful relationship with these three men? Continue playing my music and honoring the memory of my parents?
Whistler rose to his feet gracefully, and after squeezing my shoulder, left me alone kneeling in the dirt to ponder over his words.
The man was smarter than I'd given him credit for.
ELEVEN
I tilted my head back so the sun could shine on my face, my hood falling around my shoulders. My mind whirled in dizzying circles as I tried to come to a decision.
I didn't know them well enough to completely believe Whistler's words. As much as I longed to, I couldn't quite do it. My entire life had trained me otherwise. I trusted them to a point, and maybe he meant them, but he wouldn't necessarily always feel the same way. He could change his mind. And then where would I be?
I stood and dusted myself off. The best plan was to wait and see how the business with the guards and other assassins shook out. No matter how much a large part of me wished to remain with them, another part of me rebelled against it. And that part was loud and frightened.
Sky stopped me before I could return inside. "Hey, doll. You all right?"
"Yeah. Fine." I scrubbed at the dirt on my hands instead of looking at his still bare and gleaming chest.
He tapped my chin with his pointer finger. "In all my experience, when someone says they're fine, they're always the exact opposite."
I shrugged. "Just trying to make some decisions." I finally raised my head to see his face.
He was clearly tempted to question me further, but he swallowed it down. "Want to learn a few fight moves?"
My brows shot high on my forehead. "Why?"
"Because if you decide to leave us, you need a way to protect yourself." He broke our gaze and swallowed hard.
I bit the inside of my cheek. It seemed like somehow I'd hurt him. "I've done all right so far."
His eyes twinkled with returned good humor. "Yes, but you have royal guards and assassins after you."
He had a point. "All right."
"Have you had any sort of training?"
"I'm fairly decent with a knife." I fingered the dagger hidden up my sleeves.
"Show me." He gestured to the small backyard to the left of Whist's garden. "I have a target set up on the tree over there."
It was nothing but a simple board with a target painted in the middle nailed on the tree. I slid my dagger from my sleeve and sent it whirling at the board.
It sank right in the middle.
Sky whistled. "You weren't exaggerating even a little, were you, doll?"
"You doubted me?" I raised a brow at him with a smirk to match his own.
"A little." He laughed. "Something I should know better by now."
"Clearly." Something about Sky's company slipped past my boundaries and I let my guard down.
"Who taught you?"
"No one. I spend a lot of time alone and I recognized the need to defend myself. It isn't much, but it has gotten me out of a few sticky situations."
He clapped and rubbed his hands together. "Excellent. Since you're already comfortable with a blade, I'll teach you to knife fight. At least the basics."
I slid the cloak from my shoulders and tossed it to the side on the grass. Excitement shivered through me. I'd always longed to learn fighting skills.
An evil grin spread across Sky's lips. "I'm not going to take it easy on you."
"Good."
Two hours later, I hobbled into the house, sore in places I didn't even know I could ache. Saber greeted me at the door.
"I ran you a bath. Saw you out there training and thought your might need it."
I almost melted right into a puddle of goo right there on the floor. Why was he so thoughtful and sweet? It made it really difficult to fear or dislike him. It made it almost impossible to continue keeping my emotional distance.
"Thanks. He wasn't kidding when he said he wouldn't take it easy on me."
Saber chuckled. "He loves training. It's what he did before we were chosen as assassins. He's also the best at hand to hand and daggers, so he was the perfect teacher for you."
"What are you and Whistler best at?"
"I'm best with swords and Whist prefers poisons."
"That makes perfect sense." Between Saber's name and Whist's love of gardens and cooking, their skills match them completely.
Saber held the washroom door open for me. "Do you need any assistance?"
Red spread from my cheeks and down my chest. "I-I'm good. Thanks."
He inclined his head. "Of course, love. Take your time." He closed the door behind him.
Steam rose from the surface of the water. Saber had even sprinkled lavender in the bath and the washroom flickered with candlelight. Dammit. What was I supposed to do with such thoughtfulness?
With only a couple winces and smothered yelps, I stripped off my clothes and climbed in the water. I hissed as I sank into it, the heat almost too much.
A moan slipped from my throat and I leaned against the back of the tub, the scent of lavender teasing my nose. The tension bled from my stiff muscles and I sighed in delight. Regular hot baths might have been the best reason to remain with the assassins. Such luxury was unheard of for me. I had the occasional lukewarm bath in the dead of winter when I was forced into inns and way-houses by the bitter elements.
I had a safe house of sorts of my own, but it didn't have plumbing. By the time I heated up enough water for a bath, it was cold again. My safe house was more a shack than a house. It was one room with a chimney and a mattress on the floor. But it kept me alive during the winter and no one alive had any idea where it was.
And it would stay that way.
TWELVE
After another completely scrumptious meal made by Whist, I wandered over to the sofa and sat. I considered closing myself away from the assassins in the room they assigned me, but I'd been on my own so long, my soul craved companionship. Being a traveling bard was a lonely life. There was no way to keep in touch with people, especially since most people wanted nothing to do with me out of fear or disgust.
And the three men fascinated me. The way they moved and worked together, constantly aware of one another, a bond so tight they hardly needed words. I guessed it made sense they shared a kindred. If they didn't, they'd be torn apart, headed for separate lives and that would be a shame.
Saber slipped out of my room with my ukulele in his hands. I hadn't even noticed him leave the main room. Sneaky bastard. "Here." He handed me my instrument. "Play."
I stared at him with wide eyes. "What?"
"We've never really heard you. We've heard you quoted and a little of your music trickled from the tavern the other day, but we want to see you perform. Well, Whist got to see you, but Sky and I didn't."
"Why?" I asked.
Sky rolled his eyes with a snort and a smirk. "Stop stalling and play, doll. You know exactly why we want to hear you. Don't be coy."
I shot Sky a glare, but I accepted my ukulele from Saber, gifting him with a smile.
Sky snorted aga
in, but I ignored him.
Their expectant eyes burning into me made me fidget. I wasn't usually a nervous performer, but there was something bigger there. A part of me cared what they thought. Way too large a part of me.
I cleared my throat and closed my eyes, finding that place inside me. The still, quiet place -- my safe place. Everything else fell away, my past, my worries, my fears, my bitterness. It was just me and the music, me and my lyrics.
My fingers plucked the strings, playing and searching for the right tune. Faster and faster, my fingers tripped and flew across the strings, my voice whispering from me, husky and low. When I reached the chorus, I sang louder, completely forgetting I had an audience, forgetting where I was. The only thing I was aware of was the music as it swept me away in its arms.
I moved into a softer tune, one I'd never played for anyone before, one I still hadn't written lyrics for. The words hadn't yet come to me, the music some of the best I'd done. I opened my eyes and met Saber's. His had tears pooling in the bottom and his expression was filled with awe.
Sky stood from his chair and pulled Saber to his feet, drawing him close. They moved fluidly in a dance. My chest tightened as I watched, mesmerized. They were beautiful together, light and dark pushing, pulling, melding together. I glanced over at Whist where he watched from the shadows, his eyes glittering like stars in the black sky.
Candlelight flickered around us, the only light in the darkness, making it all the more intimate. Sky had a serious expression on his face for once as he gazed into Saber's eyes. What was between them? It was something more than mere friendship or brotherhood. Whatever it was, it scorched me.
I replayed the song, not wanting the moment to end, wanting to draw it out. Sky and Saber moved even closer, their bodies pressed together. They were similar in height, Saber an inch or so taller, Sky a little bit broader. Dark fingers tangled in pale. My stomach fluttered and I was barely able to focus on my music. I could have watched them forever.
Heat sank into me from behind and Whist bent over to whisper in my ear, his breath teasing my neck. "They're performing for you, gorgeous."