by Helene Gadot
"Thanks. That helps." Sort of.
"Believe me. Saber putting himself in harms way to do something for someone he cares about is completely normal for him. He's always doing thoughtful shit like that." How did Whist read me so well? It was starting to frustrate the hell out of me. I wasn't used to being seen or understood.
"Unlike you."
He ignored my dry tone. "Exactly."
"Says the big, bad assassin who somehow took the time to figure out my favorite food and make it for me. Are you saying the bond didn't make you do that?"
"It did, but not in the way you're implying. With you, I'm finally able to be my true self and allow some of my vulnerabilities to show. Maybe it's the bond, maybe it's just you. I'm actually leaning towards thinking it's just you. Not all bonds settle this quickly. Usually there's a longer period of awkwardness and getting to know each other. But like I have been saying. You fit right in with us, almost seamlessly." A kiss tickled the back of my neck and I sank back against him.
He clucked at the horse, urging him along faster. My mind refused to stop whirling with information, my chest heavy with fear. I was losing myself in them. And they were giving everything up for me, even willing to give their lives.
It was all way too much.
Somehow, I fell asleep on the back of the horse. Whist nudged me awake when Sky and Saber arrived. I scrambled from the back of the horse, worried eyes roving over Saber.
"I'm fine. Sky wrapped me up while we rode. He's surprisingly good at steering a horse with only his thighs." Saber smiled over at Sky who winked back.
I hesitated. "Maybe I should look at it just in case."
Sky shot me a reassuring smile. "I'm always the medic of our group, doll. I've gotten really good at patching them up over the years."
"Fine." I wasn't very reassured, but I didn't want to hurt him more by poking at it.
"We'll take a quick break here and then back on the move."
"How the fuck did they find us?" The anger in Sky's voice shocked me. He'd shown flashes of seriousness, but the anger was new. It was kind of hot.
Whist looked grim. "The other assassins must have given us up."
Sky drew back a step, shaking his head. "They wouldn't."
Apparently, they were close with the other assassins. More people they were leaving behind.
Whist rubbed at our horse's neck. "They would if the king demanded it. Thankfully that's the only location we've ever shared, so we'll be safe at the other one for now."
"I don't understand. I haven't started a revolution. Why does the king want me dead so badly?" It still didn't make sense. I was nobody.
Whist winced. "He didn't before. But now you've corrupted three of his assassins. He is probably now fearing a revolution. If he knew you were our kindred, he'd probably still want you dead, but it would definitely calm him down."
Perhaps they'd even get their lives back. If they told the king they were protecting their kindred, he'd understand. He'd have to. It was his laws that made kindreds so important.
The seed of an idea planted itself in my mind even while my soul screamed out at me against it. But the assassins weren't the only ones who would do whatever it took to keep the ones they cared about safe and happy.
"It's my turn with Rhapsody." Sky grabbed me around the waist and spun me in a circle before lifting me into the saddle. I grinned dizzily down at him.
I would soak up every minute I had left with my three assassins. The end loomed dark and near. I just hoped I had the courage to do what was right. If I could only figure out what that was.
We rode another three hours before we turned off the trail and crashed through thick trees and bushes. Sky protected me from the branches whipping towards my face. We finally broke into a clearing and there sat a house with a small orchard stretching out behind it.
Whist helped Saber off the horse while Sky assisted me. My jaw dropped when I stepped inside.
The second safe house was even more elaborate than the first. "This is just ridiculous. Shouldn't places like this be rustic shacks? How do you keep them up?"
Saber leaned against the wall with a sigh. "We travel a lot for work so one of us is always available to do a little upkeep. A couple of them are like what you imagine, but we don't use them as often."
"How well do assassinations pay?" I asked.
"Very well. The king believes fear and money keep people loyal to him," Saber said.
"Well, the king has proved many times that he's a moron. Too bad he didn't take after his grandmother." The king's father had been the one to make non-kindred marriage illegal. And the current king had done nothing to change that.
"No arguments here, gorgeous." Whist scowled through the back window at his garden. "I'm going to be cleaning out the beds for days."
"Worry about it tomorrow. We're almost out of light and we are all exhausted." Sky turned to me with a mischievous grin. "There's something we want to show you."
They led me to the very back of the house to a room at the end of the hall. Inside was a gorgeous bedroom decorated in beautiful shades of green. And in the center of the room sat the most ridiculously massive bed I'd ever seen in my life. It would've easily fit seven or eight hulking men.
"I take it we're sharing tonight?" The corner of my lips rose.
Sky grinned. "Yes, but just sleep. Saber needs to heal and it would be mean to play if he can't join."
"I don't mind watching like Whist this time." Saber shut the door behind us.
I still hadn't made my mind up of what to do. I couldn't bear for them to touch me that way before I made my decision. "We're all exhausted anyway. Napping on horses is not restful."
Whist searched my eyes like he suspected the direction my thoughts were headed, but he asked no questions. The four of us kicked off boots and shucked off cloaks and collapsed onto the giant mattress.
A symphony of groans rose through the air as we nestled together on our bed of clouds.
TWENTY-SEVEN
I resisted the comfort of the bed and being wrapped up between Whist and Sky and laid awake long into the night. My brain refused to shut up and grant me any peace.
As we rode, I had finally realized where we were. And coincidentally enough, their safe house wasn't far from mine. It would take me probably half a day on foot to reach it.
My little shack still had a decent collection of tinned food and I still had a few coins in the hidden pocket of my cloak. It was enough to get me through the winter months. I could remain hidden until spring and perhaps by then the king would be onto the next person who irritated him. If the assassins returned to the king and explained I was their kindred, but had disappeared, they'd be forgiven. The king couldn't expect them to kill me, it was impossible anyway. They could return to their families, friends, lives.
They wouldn't be in danger anymore.
If they stayed with me, they would always be at risk. They would always put their lives on the line to keep me safe. I couldn't give up my music. It would break something inside of me to stop playing my songs. And somehow, they understood it and supported it.
But they deserved more than a life on the run, hopping from one place to another. I was used to it. It was my whole life and it was miserable.
I wouldn't condemn them to the same fate. I cared about them too much. It wasn't yet love, but it was headed there. It would be better for all of us if we ended it now before we learned to love each other.
At least the three of them would still be together.
I slid out from between them and Whist cracked open an eye. "You all right, gorgeous?"
Heat in my throat, I kissed him lightly. "Yeah. Go back to sleep. I have to use the washroom."
He grunted and rolled over closer to Sky. My chest tightened at the sight, but I memorized it. This was how I wanted to remember them. The three of them crowded together, limbs tangled, different shades of naked skin gleaming in the moonlight.
I grabbed my boots and cloak from
the floor, and slipped out to the main room. I waited twenty minutes to be sure they were asleep and weren't coming to look for me, then grabbed my ukulele and left.
Tears poured down my cheeks and a yawning cavern split my heart in two as I stumbled away into the dark night. I kept my eyes down, too scared to look up at the stars and remind myself of Whistler's eyes. My choice was made, I couldn't afford to weaken now.
My body trembled and shook like I was coming down from an opium addiction. The kindred bond may not have been completed, but it was damn close. And leaving them was killing me.
Over time, it wouldn't be so bad. I hoped.
I hurried my steps, worried they were experiencing the same pain and would be after me before the morning woke them. If I'd taken one of the horses, it would have gotten me away farther faster, but I couldn't take anything else from them.
They'd need the horses to return to the palace.
The pain sharpened and I stumbled to my knees with a cry. I hadn't expected it to be this bad. It wasn't the last time I ran from them.
But the last time, I hadn't slept with any of them. The last time, I hadn't gotten to know them. I still fought against the bond. I wasn't fighting it anymore.
Had I accepted the bond? Was the pain telling me I was too late?
There was usually a ceremony to accept it, but maybe it was a tradition built only for show. I hated how little I knew and understood about it.
I dragged myself back to my feet and forced myself to keep moving, needing at least another hour between me and their house before I could stop. Hopefully, they wouldn't figure out which direction I went in.
Just a little farther and I'd stop to rest.
I wasn't sure how long I wandered, barely aware of where I was or where I was going. Grief and pain ravaged me, making it difficult to focus. I was ashamed of myself, never expecting to be this pathetic over a man. Or three.
I was stronger than this. My whole adult life and most of my later childhood years were spent alone. I was used to it. A few days with a few handsome men wouldn't change that.
It had been an exhausting week, I was stumbling tired. I had to stop. Just for a moment. I'd catch my breath and then be on my way again.
The darkness of the night lightened to gray. Clouds coated the sky, hiding the sun, warning of rain. It matched my mood, how appropriate.
The pain wasn't as sharp. Apparently I was getting used to it and the bond was loosening. It made the tears fall harder, tears I hadn't been able to stop since I walked out the door. I'd given up trying. In a way, I missed the pain. At least with it, I still felt connected to them. But the farther I walked, the more it faded.
The only pain in me now was the grief of losing them.
Fog rolled through the trees, making it harder for me to see where I was headed. I should have stopped, but I decided to continue on since I wasn't hurting as badly.
I wiped my face on my cloak, determined to pull myself together. I was being ridiculous. I made the right choice. It was best for them and it was possibly even best for me.
A figure appeared through the fog, and I was certain I was hallucinating until it tackled me to the ground.
TWENTY-EIGHT
"Whistler." His name sighed from my lips as the last bit of pain completely disappeared. The bond wasn't weakening, he had just been getting closer.
He pinned me to the ground and loomed over me. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He snarled the question in my face.
"I was doing what was best for the three of you. You can go back to your lives without me. You won't be in danger." I tried to shove him off me, but he refused to budge.
His hands tightened on my shoulders. "We're fucking assassins, Rhapsody. We're always in danger."
I winced at his use of my given name. I loved their pet names for me, how they each had their own. "You have family and friends back at the palace."
"But we don't have you." He all but roared his fury and it echoed around us.
The fog surrounding us made him seem almost otherworldly, his red hair the only color I could see.
I closed my eyes against his fury and against my agony. "Eventually you'd resent me for all you'd have to give up to be with me."
He shook me, my back bumping against the ground. "The only fucking thing we'd resent you for is leaving us. You know, you go on and on about choices and freedom and then you go and rip ours away from us. We chose you, you maddening woman. And you threw it back in our faces. You didn't even leave a note. You just disappeared with guards and assassins crawling all over the country searching for you."
Tears reemerged and slid down my face. He was right. I was acting like only my choices mattered. My choice to continue singing. My choice to leave them. My choice to deny the bond. My choice to remain in this country.
And every single choice was wrong.
"I'm sorry." My voice broke as I tried to swallow the tears and gather my wits.
Whist crushed his body into mine. "Oh, trust me. You will be. You will be very sorry when I'm finished with you."
I quivered at the dark promise.
His eyes flashed and I felt him harden against me, but he shook his head. "Not here. Sky and Saber are out searching for you in the other direction so they'll meet us back at the house."
He leapt to his feet and dragged me along with him. As angry as he was, his grip on me was gentle. Sniffling, I followed him through the foggy morning over to the horse.
It mystified me how I had missed the sound of him riding up.
Whist helped me onto the back of the animal and threw himself up behind me. He kept a stony silence as we rode back to the house. I didn't try to break it, too mired in confused thoughts and feelings.
Mist soaked through my clothes, plastering it to my body. When I shuddered, Whist held me closer to share his warmth.
Finally, I spoke, unable to bear it anymore. "I really am sorry. I regretted it the moment I walked out the door, but I thought I was doing what was right."
Whist clucked to the horse, urging her on faster. "I understand, gorgeous. I really do. But we had a deal. Three weeks. It hasn't even been one. I'm not saying you have to accept us, but at least do us the courtesy of telling us and saying goodbye."
My eyes slid closed in misery. "I knew I wouldn't be able to leave if I told the three of you. I wouldn't have the strength to let you go."
"We don't ever want you to let us go unless it's something you want for yourself." His words were so perfect, it was still difficult to believe he and the others were real.
They said everything I ever wanted and a lot I hadn't realized I needed. They didn't trap me, they offered me freedom. I kept waiting for the catch.
"I never expected to have this. I thought I'd always be alone and then the three of you crashed into my life and it changed everything I thought I knew and believed."
He sighed, the force of it rattling his chest. "I know. Just take it day by day. We've accepted the bond. We want you. We chose you. It's completely up to you what we do next. Just don't run from us again."
The fog was lifting, from the air and from my head. I could see deeper through the forest and I my future was less murky as well.
"I think I did accept it. It felt like it was killing me every step I took away from you three."
"It felt like that for us too." He clutched me even tighter, like he was afraid I would disappear from his arms.
"I'm sorry, Whistler." I was. Devastatingly so.
A growl thundered in his chest. "I love it when you say my whole name. No one else does. Not even my mother."
"I like your full name. But I don't like it when you use mine. It makes me feel like I'm in trouble."
He released the reins with one of his hands and slid it up my thigh, stopping before he reached where I wanted him most. "Oh, gorgeous. You have no idea the trouble coming for you. I meant what I said. You're going to be begging me for mercy when I'm done with you."
My nipples hardened an
d sent a bolt straight to my core. "I'm looking forward to it."
"And when I'm through with you, you'll have Sky and Saber to answer to."
I wasn't looking forward to that quite as much. I didn't want to see Sky's laughing eyes dulled with pain and betrayal. I didn't want to lose Saber's sweetness to disappointment and sorrow.
"Are they mad at me too?" I asked in a small voice.
"Very. And hurt. And worried." He returned his hand to the reins as we took a fork in the road.
I harrumphed. "You couldn't lie to me? Or sugarcoat it?" I was super nervous about seeing Sky and Saber. Whist was shitty enough, but fighting with him didn't pain me as much as it did the others. Whist brought out my combative side and a part of me enjoyed it. He understood the angry, bitter part of me because he was the same. The others didn't have such darkness. Or if they did, I had yet to uncover it.
"Sorry. Not my style." He released the reins again and his hand slid under my shirt to rest on the bare skin of my stomach.
I tucked my head into the crook of his neck, hoping his hand would travel higher. "I know."
Whist took the hint and he slid his hand up me ribs, grazing the undersides of my breasts. I squirmed on the back of the horse, craving friction, but it wasn't enough.
It was nowhere near enough.
By the time the house came back into sight, the sun had completely appeared over the horizon and I trembled with desire and a slight hint of trepidation.
Whist had kept up teasing touches and steady innuendos for the remainder of the ride until I was ready to beg him to take me in the forest again like the last time. But I wanted to play the game the way he wanted. I wanted to see what he had in store for me. And the mist would have made things quite muddy and uncomfortable.
The other horse was still missing, so Sky and Saber weren't there. "Should we go look for them?" I asked once Whist settled the horse in the small paddock.