“We need to celebrate,” he said in the cab. “Let’s go the hotel and change out of professional clothes and do the town. Eat, drink, dance… oh and shop.”
I looked at him.
“What?”
“You seem happy.”
He smiled. “I am. This was a big deal. When Valerie and I started this business, sending our products outside of New York, much less to Paris wasn’t in our sights.”
“And look at you now.”
He nodded. “It goes to show that you shouldn’t hold yourself back, Leah. Remember that as you move into the business world. Think big and go after it.”
I wished he felt the same about his personal life.
The first stop after changing was to a café to have lunch and champagne. We drank the whole bottle, and I wasn’t the only one feeling the effects of it if Sebastian’s taking my hand as we walked through the Tuileries toward the Louvre was any indication. He’d never held my hand before, and I had to look down to make sure it was his hand that had taken mine.
“Aphrodite is in the Louvre,” he said. “She’s the goddess of passion.”
I snorted. I wanted to tell him she was the goddess of love and procreation too, but the moment was too nice to ruin. “Men don’t need a goddess of passion. They already have one hanging between their legs.”
He laughed. “Are you saying my dick is a god?”
“I do like to worship him.”
He stopped and tugged on my hand, pulling me to him. “Careful, you might wake him up.”
I ground my hips against him, feeling that he indeed had the start of an erection. “Can you imagine if a statue was made of you and your dick?”
“There’s not enough marble in the world.”
I rolled my eyes, but I loved this side of him. We’d banter when alone in New York, but right now, he seemed freer, less guarded. Was it because we were out of New York where our affair might be found out?
We toured the Louvre, and I was surprised by just how small of painting the Mona Lisa was. When we left, we found another café where we had bread and cheese and more champagne.
“You know, you don’t have to get me drunk to get lucky.”
He sat back and for a minute I thought I’d said something wrong as he studied me and that guarded shadow crossed his face. “I want to enjoy this time with you, Leah. We don’t have to have champagne, but I love the stuff and never have it any more.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged. “Would you rather have something else?”
I shook my head. “I like champagne too. There’s something happy about it.”
“Yes!” He said it like my comment made clear for him what he loved about it too. “Happy.” He sighed. “Are you happy, Leah?”
“Right now, or in life in general?”
“Either, both.”
“I’m happy right now.”
He frowned and leaned forward. “But not in general?”
I didn’t want to ruin our weekend by confessing that what would truly make me happy was if he would let me love him and love me back. “I’m… content. I’m still working on my goals.”
He nodded and studied me for a moment. “Don’t settle for content, Leah.” He lifted his hand to call the waiter. “More champagne. The most expensive bottle you’ve got.”
“You are celebrating, mais non?” the waiter asked. “Engagement? Marriage?”
“Yes,” Sebastian surprised me by saying. “Life.”
The waiter went off to get our champagne.
Sebastian leaned forward. “You deserve more than content, Leah.”
“So do you, Sebastian,” I risked saying.
He looked away for a moment and then turned back to me. “You’re braver than I am.”
I didn’t understand what he meant. “You’re plenty brave. Look at all you’ve done.”
He shook his head, and I wanted to ask him about the torment I saw in his eyes. But then the waiter showed up, with another bottle of champagne and the darkness dissipated.
“Let’s drink some more happy.”
We were pretty lit when we got in the cab, but the drive to Versailles gave us enough time to sober up to tipsy. We started with a walk in the gardens and then toured the chateau.
“Have you ever thought of living this opulently?” I asked Sebastian as we walked the halls and rooms filled with gold leaf, painted murals, and crystal chandeliers.
“Me? No. I like having money, but I don’t need gold walls. How about you?”
“I don’t need gold walls either.”
“Your dad has a pretty nice place for New York.”
I nodded. “I was lucky, I grew up with money and loving parents.” I looked at him and realized I didn’t know about his childhood or life before he lost his wife and met my father in a bereavement group. “What about you?”
He shrugged. “I would say my childhood was typical for today. Absent father. Single mother who worked herself to death… literally.”
“She’s gone?” How did I not know this?
He nodded. “I was in high school when she died.”
“Sebastian.” I tugged his arm to stop him. “I’m sorry.”
He studied me. “Why? It’s not your fault.”
“I just… well… it’s sad.”
He shrugged. “Life is sad, Leah. You know that.”
Clearly, we needed more champagne to infuse happiness back into our trip.
He started walking again. “I came out okay. I got a scholarship to college, where I was fortunate to be smart because I certainly didn’t try very hard. Mostly I partied and sowed my oats.”
“The partying has stopped at least.”
He flashed me grin. “I like sowing oats.”
“Yes, I know.”
We continued on. “I met Valerie, and we had similar goals. Until five years ago, my life was going exactly as planned.”
“But not now?”
“There’s a saying to be careful what you wish for. I have exactly what I wished for, except Valerie of course.”
I had a tinge of jealousy that he was missing his wife.
“Sometimes what you want, Leah, isn’t what you need.” He looked at me then and I felt like he was looking into my soul. As if he was telling me that I shouldn’t want him because he wasn’t what I needed.
“Or sometimes we think we want something because that’s what others tell us we want or we make choices based on what others tell us we shouldn’t have, instead of staying true to what’s in our hearts,” I countered.
He studied me, and again, I saw torment in his eyes. “Sometimes you simply need to sleep in the bed you made.”
“No, you don’t.” I looked over the beautiful gardens. “The Sun King’s grandson got his head cut off because people decided they wanted a different lot in life. Of course, I’m not saying you need to have a violent revolution to get what you want, but you got where you are because of choices you made and the work you did. If you don’t like where you are, you can make new choices.”
“So easy to say when you’re twenty three and have your life ahead of you.”
I snorted. “You’re only forty, Sebastian. And you have resources. Colonel Sanders started Kentucky Fried Chicken at the age of 62 while broke after having several business failures.”
“You’re saying I’m lazy.”
“I’m saying if you want something different in life, then change it, don’t wallow in it.”
“You like to challenge me, don’t you?”
“Someone has to.”
He leaned forward. “I’ll tell you what. You show me how to live while we’re here in Paris, and I’ll show you whatever you want.”
“You mean sexually?”
“If you want.”
What if I wanted you to show me you cared for me? I pushed that thought aside. “Clearly, if you’re going to stay in your happy zone, we’ll need more champagne.”
He grinned. “Good idea.”
&
nbsp; When we finished at Versailles, we took a cab back to Paris and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening walking through all the tourist spots, eating decadent food, and sipping champagne. He held my hand as we walked, and even on a couple of occasions, kissed me. I attributed it to the champagne, and told myself that when we were back in New York, this more open and freer Sebastian would be gone again.
We went to an expensive dinner that had so many courses that it took several hours to get through. Then we went dancing, and I was in heaven to be in his arms. Except for sex, Sebastian rarely touched me, so swaying against his body without sex felt decadent.
When we got back to the hotel, we were tearing each other’s clothes off before the door shut.
“If I don’t fuck you soon, I’m going to die,” he said as he picked me up and dropped me on the bed.
“I’m burning for you, Sebastian.”
He knelt on the bed, sitting back on his heels as he tugged me to straddle his thighs and lowered me over his massive erection.
Our groans filled the room as I rode him. His hands were on my ass, squeezing and helping me rock and ride him.
“Fuck… I’m going to come…” He growled in my ear. “I’m going to fill your pussy, Leah.”
“Yes.” I loved his dirty talk, even as I wished it was sometimes more emotional.
“You need to come, Leah…” His finger slid from my ass down to where his cock was sliding in and out of my pussy and then up pressing gently against my opening. Rockets went off, firing in every neuron of my body. I screamed out and wildly convulsed around his cock.
“Oh fuck, yeah, baby.” He bucked and his hot seed filled me, coating my insides so full that it started dripping from me. He pulsed and pulsed, until finally, he lay me back on the bed, and rolled off to the side. “You fucking rock my world, Leah.”
I felt a sense of pride at that, even though he usually did most of the work.
He reached down between my legs. “Look what you do to me.” He ran his fingers through his cum oozing from my pussy and brought it to my lips.
I licked his finger, liking the flash of arousal it always brought to his eyes. He gave me a lecherous grin and then moved down my body.
“The rest is for me.” He sucked his cum from my pussy, and then used his tongue, teeth and lips to drive me up and up into pleasure until I was writhing, my hands fisting in the sheets as I prepared for the explosion.
“Oh God, Sebastian… oh fuck… I’m coming…” I screamed his name as another orgasm tore through me, surging through my body like liquid fire.
He then knelt before me and started jacking off. “You’re so fucking hot, Leah, I’ve gotta come.”
If I’d had the energy, I would have sat up and sucked his cock, but I was completely spent. All I could manage was to press my breasts together. “Come on my tits.”
“Fuck yeah.” His hand moved like a flash on his cock, rubbing and tugging, until he threw his head back, yelled out and shot his cum on my tits and belly.
Later, after I bathed and tested out my first bidet, I lay in the cool sheets listening to the sound of his steady breath as he slept. Inside, I was a torrent of emotions. I wanted to snuggle next to him and tell him I loved him. The best I managed was to lay on my side and rest my arm across his waist as he sometimes did to me. In a perfect world, we’d be tangled bodies and hearts. I knew if I said that, he’d reply, “The world isn’t perfect, Leah.”
* * *
The next day, was more of the same. Champagne, delicious food, and viewing tourist sites. The difference was that Sebastian seemed even more relaxed today than the day before. He smiled and laughed more. Several times, he brought my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles. He was acting like a man in love, but I couldn’t let myself read too much into it. It was the champagne and Paris, not Sebastian.
After dinner, we danced again, and I wanted to ask him if we could have days and nights like this in New York. New York wasn’t Paris, but it was a city filled with champagne, great food, things to see, and dancing. But I wasn’t brave enough to ask. I wondered what he’d think if I told him I wasn’t as brave as he seemed to think I was.
The night was getting late as he held me on the dance floor. I felt his lips on the top of my head and I looked up at him.
His eyes blazed with heat, but it wasn’t sexual. My heart turned in my chest as I wondered if finally, finally, he was allowing himself to feel something for me.
He lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine in a kiss that was so soft and tender it brought tears to my eyes. He trailed his kisses along my jaw.
“Should we go?” He whispered in my ear.
I nodded.
He was quiet as the cab dropped us back at the hotel and we walked, hand in hand, to our room.
“More champagne?” He asked as we entered the room. Apparently, he’d made a deal with the hotel to always keep our room stocked with the golden bubbly.
I shook my head.
He stepped to me, cradling my face in his hands as he stared down at me with that same intense gaze. The room was dark, with only the moon from the Parisian night casting an ethereal glow over us.
He kissed me in that same soft tender way as he had on the dance floor. It made my entire body melt. Slowly he undressed me, as I did the same to him. Then he lay me on the bed, and his hands and mouth caressed my body, not in the same hurried or erotic fervor as usual, but in a slow, languid, gentleness like his kiss. He made my entire body hum with emotion and pleasure. I wanted him to feel the same, so I did what I could to return the favor. I ran my hands over his body, kissed him wherever my lips could reach with him pressing me into the mattress.
“Leah.”
I looked up into his eyes, filled with a stormy desire and something more that I prayed was love. He took my hands in his, pushing them over my head and holding them there.
He pressed inside me, slow, smooth, seductive until he reached the hilt. Then he held still, his gaze still on mine as he throbbed and pulsed inside me.
I love you. The words were on the end of my tongue, but wouldn’t come out.
“You undo me, Leah.”
They weren’t words of love, but like the rest of his small gestures, it was beyond his normal behavior. They were as close to a confession of feelings as I would likely get, and so I savored them.
Slowly he began to move, sliding in and out, his eyes watching me as he did. This wasn’t the act of a man who was in it only for sex. He was making love to me, and my heart sang. I wanted it to last forever, but our bodies had other ideas.
Soon the need cranked up, and I was on the verge of coming. “Not yet.” I nearly sobbed it.
He slowed his pace, and I couldn’t help but think he was in sync with me. Like he wanted it to last too. The fact that he did, made me think this was the only time he’d allow himself to show me his true feelings. When Paris was done, and we were back in New York, I’d return to being his secret affair.
Slowly the passion built again, and this time, without asking, he slowed his pace. He leaned in and kissed me as he stilled inside me. I focused on the taste of him. The feel of him pulsing with life inside me. The heat of his body as it covered mine. The grip of his hands as they clutched mine. I wanted to sear this moment into my brain so it would be there forever for me to remember.
He moved again, while holding the kiss until he tore away to catch his breath. This time, there was no stopping our bodies from grabbing what they needed.
“Sweetheart… you have to come…”
My orgasm rolled through me, intense and hot like a summer storm, crashing through all my senses.
“Leah.” He cried out as his body bucked, and his seed filled my body.
I prepared for him to roll off, but instead, he shifted his weight to the side, and pulled me to him, cradling me in his arms. I was so overwhelmed with emotion, I wanted to cry. I turned my head into his shoulder to hide it for fear if he saw it, it would scare him.
&nbs
p; “You undo me,” he said again as he kissed my head.
I was completely undone and hopelessly in love. But I wasn’t brave enough to tell him. “Sebastian,” I whispered. I love you.
21
Leah
Maybe it was jet lag or a hangover from a weekend fueled by champagne, or maybe both, but on Monday morning I woke feeling puny. I considered calling in sick except that I wanted to see Sebastian.
The trip to Paris was heaven, but I was afraid the openness I experienced with Sebastian wouldn’t last. I didn’t want to be a pessimist, so I tried to focus on the change in him and hope that it meant he felt more for me, and that our relationship was more than an affair. The issue about my being his intern would be gone in a couple of weeks when I graduated, so the only issue then would be my father.
I wanted to talk to Sebastian about coming clean about us to my father. While my father would likely be surprised, I also believe he’d be supportive. The age difference couldn’t be a factor as he was seeing someone who was significantly younger than him. It might be strange that his friend is sleeping with me, but he could get over that.
On Monday, when I got to the office, Sebastian wasn’t there. His secretary said he’d be out for the day meeting with his suppliers and manufacturers, and talking with export people about this new deal planned for the French market. A part of me worried that he was avoiding me, but I pushed that aside. On the plane home, he hadn’t shown signs of regret about letting me into his heart a little more.
I headed to the marketing department and started on my next project.
“Hey Hammond. How was Paris?” Niall stood next to the computer station I was working at.
“Very French,” I answered.
“Pretty lucky that you got to go.”
I looked up at him wondering if he suspects the real deal between me and Sebastian. “Oh?”
“It must be nice to have friends in high places.”
I frowned.
“If your dad wasn’t friends with the boss, perhaps one of us, who slave here every day could have gone instead.” His facial features were amicable, but I heard the annoyed tone.
“You wouldn’t have liked it. They eat snails there.”
Beautiful Mistakes: Contemporary Romance Boxset Books 1-4 Page 31