He rubbed his cock tip over my pussy, and my hips started to move on their own accord. My pussy squeezed and released all on its own. I was whimpering and writhing as need consumed me.
He growled again as he pressed the head of his dick inside me.
“Yes, oh yes… more…” God it felt so good.
He swore, pushed a little more.
I was panting, my hips rocking, my pussy sucking him in. I knew it was supposed to hurt the first time. Since he wasn’t fully inside me, I expected the pain would come at some point, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was feeling him inside my body.
“Please, Blake… more, more.”
“Fuck!” He roared, and with a tight grip on my hips, he withdrew slightly and then plunged in.
I felt the burn when he thrust through my barrier, and then pleasure when his body hit my clit as he buried himself inside. The pleasure was beyond anything I’d imagined. No wonder people made such a fuss about sex. It was fucking awesome.
“You okay?” His voice was strained. I looked up at him. His teeth were gritted, his neck so tight I could see his veins.
“Yes, please… don’t stop…”
He withdrew and plunged in again, and again, sparks of the most delicious sensations radiated from my pussy. He did it again, this time a little faster, a little harder, the friction building.
“Jesus fucking Christ… I’m going to come.” He was moving so fast, in and out, and I could barely breathe. “Come Bella… fuck you need to come.” His thumb pressed on my hard, sensitive clit as he thrust in hard and holy hell, I saw stars as intense pleasure ripped through my body. My pussy contracted, my whole body convulsed and it shot me to the heavens.
“Yeesssss…” He growled out as he thrust in and ground his hips against mine and then did it again. Warmth flooded my womb each time he plunged inside me. Even as he slowed down, my pussy continued to contract.
Finally, he collapsed on me, and for the first time, I felt the weight of him on me. I put my hand on his back, wanting to savor this moment. It was the most intense, beautiful moment of my life. Losing my virginity wasn’t awkward or painful. It was passionate and perfect. Whatever did happen next, I’d always have this memory.
6
Blake
My dick hadn’t fully deflated before regret and remorse set in. In fact, it overwhelmed me. I could barely breath as the ramifications of what I’d just done hit me full force.
What the fuck did I just do? I knew what I did. What I didn’t know was why I’d done it. I hadn’t had sex with anyone since the last time I made love to my wife. Up until this week, I hadn’t even wanted to. All of a sudden, I was having wet dreams and just now, I fucked my assistant. What was it about Bella that made my libido short-circuit my brain and had me doing something that was wrong on so many levels?
I wanted to bolt up and get out of there, but that would only make this situation worse. I may have betrayed my wife and put the company we built together at risk, but I wasn’t such an asshole that I’d pull a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am on an innocent young woman. Jesus, she’d been a virgin. What was I thinking?
I inhaled deeply to prepare myself for what I might see when I lifted my head to look at her. “You okay?”
Her expression was unreadable and I got the feeling she was waiting to see my response before deciding hers.
“Did I hurt you?” I asked.
She shook her head and gave me a small smile. “No.” She was so beautiful and sweet and soft laying under me and I had the urge to stay there. Maybe fuck her again. But no, God dammit.
I moved off of her, cum dripping off my dick. A whole new wave of regret and now panic set in. I didn’t use a condom. I was seriously losing it. But I couldn’t have this conversation naked so I slipped my boxers on. “Bella… I…”
She sat up, pulling a blanket from the back of the couch to wrap around her. “Please don’t say this was a mistake.”
Well, that was going to make this hard because it was a mistake. No matter how good it had been, or how hard I’d come, it should have never happened.
We needed to talk, but I didn’t want to hurt her. “Why don’t we have that coffee?”
She nodded. “Give me a minute.” She stood and went into the bathroom.
I pulled my pants and shirt on, then went to the kitchen, found coffee mugs, and poured the hot brew from her coffeemaker. She was right, the thing was pretty old. But she must splurge on good coffee because it was dark and strong.
She emerged wearing yoga pants and a plain white t-shirt. She’d pulled her hair up into a messy bun. She looked vulnerable, which only heightened my guilt.
I handed her the coffee and then sat in a chair across from the couch from where she sat.
“Are you sure I didn’t hurt you?”
She shook her head. “Truth be told, I enjoyed it. A lot. But I can see that you regret it.”
I looked down because there was some regret, but mostly I felt guilty. I looked at her again. “Bella, I’m not going to deny that I enjoyed that.” In fact, it was fantastic. I enjoyed it too much. “But it can’t happen again.”
“I understand.”
God, somehow her unaffected acceptance was making this worse.
“I’m sorry if I’m hurting you.” I ran a hand through my hair. “It’s the last thing I want to do.”
“I know.” She cupped her mug in her hands but didn’t drink.
I studied her for a moment. “You were waiting for the right person, and… you should have waited longer.”
Her head was shaking before I finished. “I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t regret this. I wanted it. I wanted you. I’m glad it was you.”
Why the hell she wanted a forty-year-old man to be her first was beyond me. “Your first time should be special.”
She looked at me with those piercing blue eyes. “It was special. For me.” She looked down, and I could see the hurt I was causing her.
I wanted to give her something to let her know that even though it was wrong, it was wasn’t sordid. Or that she was just another woman in a long line of women.
“Bella, I haven’t been with another woman since my wife. I… I know it’s crazy because she’s gone, but I feel like I’ve betrayed her.”
She gave me a sad smile. “I know you still love her.”
“I do, and I… well you deserve exactly what you told me you wanted earlier. A man who can love you the way I love my wife. That man can’t be me.”
She flinched slightly, and I hated that my words hurt her. I shouldn’t have touched her. I shouldn’t have taken her to dinner to make her feel better. I shouldn’t have let her straighten my tie.
“I’m sorry if I’ve—”
“No.” Jesus, why was she sorry? “You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one who messed up here. Christ, I put my assistant’s hand on my dick. If the board found out they’d probably get rid of me.”
Her eyes widened. “I’m not going to cause problems for you.”
I gave her a wan smile. “It’s still wrong. I’m your boss.”
She nodded as if she was accepting the reality of the situation. Then her brows furrowed, “You’re not going to fire me or transfer me, are you?”
“No. I value your work. I just hope it won’t be difficult between us after this.”
She exhaled audibly. “No. I can separate work and what just happened.” She said it as a matter of fact like she had done it before.
“Good.” I sipped my coffee, shoring up my strength before I went on to the next issue. “Listen, I didn’t use a condom…”
It took her moment to register what I was saying. Her eyes widened for an instant, giving me an “oh fuck” feeling.
Then she shook her head. “It’s not the right time.”
What I wanted to hear was, “I’m on the pill,” or “I have an IUD.” But she’d been a virgin, so I should have known she probably wasn’t on birth control. What a fucking idiot I wa
s.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean it’s too early in my cycle.”
I didn’t know all the intricate details of the female reproductive system, but I remembered that I hadn’t used a condom the first time with Joanna either and she hadn’t gotten pregnant. When we did want to get pregnant, it took us a while and Joanna was tracking her cycle to figure out the optimum time have sex. Many times, we had sex right there in the office because she was ovulating. I figured Bella meant she wasn’t ovulating. I hoped she was right.
I felt a little relieved. “If there is a consequence from this, I’ll—”
She waved her hand. “What happened here will stay here, and from this moment forward it will be like it never happened.”
It was what I wanted to hear and at the same time, it made me sad. What we’d done was wrong, and yet it was pure in a raw way that seemed like it shouldn’t be forgotten. I put my coffee cup down and stood. “I should go. You’re sure you’re okay?”
She let out an exasperated breath. “Yes. I’m fine. Thank you for dinner.”
“Of course.” I headed to her door. She’d risen from the couch and was showing me out. I had the urge to give her something. “Bella.”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “I understand.”
“The thing is, while it was wrong to touch you for so many reasons, the truth is, I enjoyed it. Very much.”
Her lips twitched up slightly. “I wasn’t bad?”
“No.” I wanted to say more, but I could feel the first signs of heat rising and the last thing I needed was for my libido to get me in trouble again.
“Thank you.”
I walked out of her apartment and called for a car. All the way home, I mentally railed on myself for letting my dick get the best of me. I was stronger than that. So, what the fuck happened?
When I got home, I took a shower, washing off the evidence of my infidelity. I couldn’t sleep in the same bed I’d made love to Joanna in with Bella’s scent and essence on my body. I stood under the spray as the night replayed in my mind.
Could I really be blamed for falling under Bella’s spell? She was a smart, kind, attractive woman. And sexy as fuck.
While I felt like I’d betrayed my wife, I suspected no one else would think the same, except maybe my in-laws. Other people would say a man had needs. Tonight, I certainly had. I needed to touch her like I needed to breathe. And holy fuck, I couldn’t remember ever coming as hard as I had with Bella. I chalked that up to the fact that it had been such a long time since I’d been aroused, much less with a woman.
Her skin had been soft, her tits the perfect fit in my hands, and her pussy, Jesus it was so tight, I’m not sure how I fit. There in the shower, my body responded again.
“Jesus, what’s wrong with you?” I said to my dick. For a moment, I considered grabbing it and stroking until I came again. But when the image of Bella’s tits moving as I pounded into her came into my head, I turned the water to cold and froze the little bastard into compliance. Fantasizing about her was as bad as fucking her. It was a dishonor to my wife.
I toweled off and went to bed, turning my thoughts to my wife. “I’m sorry baby.” I was sorry I’d touched another woman. I was sorry that by fucking my assistant I’d potentially put our business at risk, even though I believed Bella wouldn’t cause problems.
My crimes weren’t just against Joanna though. Bella’s first time should have been with a man she loved, who loved her back. Someone who could have taken better care of her than I had. And who’d have been smart enough to use a condom.
The next morning, my self-loathing hadn’t dissipated. Fortunately, I had the weekend to get my shit together. When I walked into the office on Monday, I had to put all this behind me and hope that Bella did too.
To help rid my system of Bella and my guilt, I pulled out the old photo albums of me and Joanna. I went through pictures from college, the early days of our marriage and growing our business, and seeing her round and rosy with Lily growing in her belly. Joanna had often told me I was too serious and not spontaneous enough. I wondered what she’d think about my spontaneously fucking my assistant?
A part of me thought she’d find it hilarious how I lost control of myself. She’d also probably be the first to tell me it was okay. She was pushing me to live and love again before she died. But what I’d done with Bella didn’t feel okay. I felt I’d betrayed my marriage and let our business down. And it wasn’t fair to Bella to take her virginity knowing I couldn’t love her and to do so as her boss.
By Sunday, I was feeling steadier. I couldn’t change what happened, but I was able to look ahead and move on. When Joanna’s parents brought Lily home and we had dinner together, I only felt a little weird looking them in the eyes. What the hell would they think about my behavior?
On Monday, I got to the office early and buried myself in my work. Anything I needed from Bella, I’d ask my secretary, Dana to courier between us. See, it could all work out.
At noon, Mrs. Douglas called and said her son had an emergency and she couldn’t be there when Lily got home from school. I called my in-laws but they weren’t able to cover either. I’d have to get Lily from school and bring her here. The company didn’t have onsite daycare, although it was one of the many goals Joanna had for the company. That meant Lily would need to play quietly in my office while I finished my work. That wouldn’t be a problem except that I had a conference call with the buyer from a department store that afternoon.
I hadn’t figured out a solution yet, as I walked with Lily from the elevator toward my office. Bella was at my secretary’s desk talking with her. It was the first time I’d seen her all day, and my chest contracted at the sight of her.
“Look who’s here.” Dana said. “It’s Lilybug.”
“I’m going to work with my daddy today, right Daddy?”
“That’s right, sweetheart.”
Bella turned and our eyes caught for a moment. In her blue gaze, I saw much of the same awkwardness and something else. But she smiled as she looked at Lily.
“Hi, I’m Bella.” She crouched down. “Are you going to keep your dad in line today?”
Lily studied Bella. I’m not sure how a five-year-old assessed people they met, but it certainly looked like Lily was trying to get a feel for Bella as she stared at her. “He’s the boss.”
“That he is.”
“What are you?” Lily asked her.
“I’m his assistant. I make sure he gets all his work done.”
Lily looked up at me. “Is that true Daddy?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Mr. Alexander. You have that conference call in about ten minutes.”
“Right. Thank you.”
“The materials and data are on your desk, Mr. Alexander,” Bella added as she straightened. Wasn’t it strange that I’d been inside this woman having an orgasm to end all orgasms, and now she was calling me Mr. Alexander?
“Thank you, Ms. Hanson.”
Bella looked at me and then Lily. “Lily, would you like to come help me while your dad is on the call? We can get a snack in the snack room first, then we can work on a presentation your dad needs next week for a call to France. Do you speak French?”
Lily shook her head.
“Want to learn?”
“Can I daddy?” Lily looked up at me. It was unusual for Lily to willingly go with someone she didn’t know. Maybe it was because Bella was offering her a snack. That had to be more fun even for a shy child than sitting quietly while I was on a call.
“I don’t want to inconvenience you, Ms. Hanson.” Fucking Bella was worse than asking her to babysit, but both were completely out of her job description and inappropriate.
“It’s no problem.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. I handed Lily a couple of one-dollar bills. “For the vending machines in the snack room. Be sure you get something Ms. Hanson wa
nts too.”
Lily grinned up at me. “Okay, Daddy.” Then she reached over and took Bella’s hand. “I like the white cookies in the snack room, do you?”
Bella smiled. “Those are yummy.”
I watched as they walked off with a strange feeling in my chest. Had Bella beguiled Lily too?
“Mr. Alexander, Mr. Jones is on the line,” Dana said.
“I’ll take it in my office.” I walked into my office, trying to focus on the call I had, but not able to get the vision of Bella and Lily walking hand and hand toward the break room out of my head.
7
Bella
I’d always wanted a little brother or sister, but being raised by a single mom who never remarried, I never got that wish. The closest I got was when I would babysit as a teenager. I was very popular among the parents in my building because I was around a lot to help them with their kids, and I charged a reasonable price. I took care of babies all the way up to ten-year-olds, and I enjoyed them all. That was why it didn’t feel like a big deal to offer to watch Lily for Blake.
I took Lily to the breakroom and helped her get a package of vanilla cookies and milk. I’d known Blake had a daughter but had never seen them together except in the pictures in his office. She was cute as could be, which made sense. Blake was extremely handsome and her mother had been beautiful, at least from the pictures on his desk. Like her mother, Lily had light hair, gray eyes, and rosy cheeks.
“How was school today?” I asked her.
“Good, ” she said with a shrug as she ate her cookies.
“Do you have a favorite thing to do at school?”
“I like art and counting.”
“Counting. You can go far if you know your numbers,” I said to her.
She sipped her milk. “My mommy was good at counting. My daddy says that’s why we’re lucky to have a lot of money.”
“Your dad is pretty good at numbers too.” He was good at other things I’d remember for the rest of my life. Even two days later, I swore I had the imprint of his hands on my body.
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