I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I suddenly realized I didn't know Jillian's last name. I had a lot of employees, and we only called each other by first names around the office, except for some of my more timid employees calling me “Mr. O'Rourke” instead of just “Jack.” But still, I was a bit ashamed to realized that I didn't know the name of the girl I had just slept with.
I cleared my throat, while the clerk stood there, her fingers poised over the keyboard. I thought quickly, trying to decide how to proceed.
“You know what,” I said, “I can get my assistant to get a hold of her. Thank you.”
I walked away, pulling out my phone to call Kelsey, my assistant. I would have preferred not to get anyone else involved in this, since I wanted to keep things discrete. But if I could trust anyone to be discrete, it was Kelsey.
She answered the phone with a tired edge to her voice. “Yes, Jack?”
“Kelsey,” I said. “Do you know which room Jillian is staying in? The girl from Social Media. Or if you have her number.”
“Why do you need her number?” Kelsey asked, a touch of confusion in her voice.
“I just needed to ask her something,” I said. “Nothing important. But I don't have a way to contact her directly.” I tried my best to keep the tension out of my voice. I didn't want to let on the real reason I was trying to get a hold of Jillian.
“All right. Just a moment.”
A minute later, she gave me Jillian's cell phone number, and her room number here at the hotel. “Do you want me to call her for you?” Kelsey asked.
“No. No, that's fine,” I said. It was pretty common for Kelsey to handle phone calls for me. I usually preferred it that way, since most calls were tedious and I usually had more important things to do. But this wasn't the sort of call that she could handle for me.
I hung up and headed for the elevator, dialing Jillian's number along the way. The phone rang while I was heading up to Jillian's room. Then it went to voice mail.
I tried calling again as I walked down the hall. This time it went directly to voice mail. I supposed Jillian had turned her phone off. Not that I could blame her, under the circumstances.
I reached the door to Jillian's room. I knocked. There was no answer. I knocked again, calling out, “Jillian? It's Jack O'Rourke. Can we talk, please?”
I was still outside her door when another of my employees, Darla, emerged from a room down the hall. She gave me a friendly smile as she passed by, then she hesitated, looking at me as I lingered outside Jillian's door. “Jack?” she asked. “Everything okay?”
I cleared my throat, trying to keep a neutral facial expression. “Just fine,” I said. “I was looking for Jillian. Have you seen her?”
“I think she headed home early,” she said. “I just saw her a few minutes ago. She had her suitcase.”
I silently cursed, but forced a smile onto my face. “Oh, all right,” I said, struggling to keep my voice from shaking. “I suppose I'll see her at the office on Monday. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.”
I headed down the hall, waiting until I was out of sight before I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes and letting out a deep breath. Jillian had run off. I understood why, of course. She was no doubt embarrassed about what had happened, perhaps even scared that her job would be in jeopardy. But I had no way of catching up to her now.
I looked down at the folder in my hand. I had hoped for a quick resolution to this unfortunate situation, but it looked like I wasn't going to get an easy way out. I just had to hope that when I talked to Jillian in the office on Monday, we could find a way to settle this, without ruining my career, or breaking the poor girl's heart in the process.
3
Jillian
Walking into the office Monday morning, it felt like the Grim Reaper was just a step behind me. After leaving the hotel room, I'd packed my things and headed straight for the airport. The plane tickets Jack had gotten us had been for a return flight Sunday night, but I'd used my credit card to get an earlier flight so I could get home right away, fleeing my shame. It had been a pity to cut the vacation short, especially a vacation that the boss was paying for, but after what I'd done, I couldn't have stuck around.
I'd spent the rest of the weekend in various states of panic, anxiety, depression, and worry. I'd kept my phone turned off the entire time, fearing more phone calls from Mr. O'Rourke. Jack. Since we were technically husband and wife, I supposed I should call him Jack.
I was still somewhere between panic and dread when I got to the office. I kept my head down as I walked through the halls, past the offices and cubicles where my coworkers were already hard at work. A few people tried to say hi to me on my way past, but I gave them only curt nods and forced smiles. Hopefully they would just think that I was under the weather after the partying over the long weekend. I couldn't let on that something more serious was going on. If I was lucky, none of them would realize that I'd gone home early over the weekend. I didn't have any real close friends among my coworkers. I was the newest employee here, and not very good at socializing. So they probably wouldn't think anything of not seeing me around over the weekend. Probably.
I headed to my desk in the back room. The sign on the door called it the “Social Media Department,” but it was really just a single office that had been crammed with four small desks, forcing me and the rest of the staff to share the cramped space. Our department wasn't exactly high priority, since the company focused more on building long-term relationship with clients, rather than on building a public image and brand. But it was still important work, and I liked the people I worked with.
“Morning, Jillian,” my supervisor, Stacey said, giving me a smile as I made my way to my desk. “Still a bit hungover? You're never late.”
“It's...been a long weekend,” I said, setting my purse under my desk. My wedding ring was tucked in an inner pocket in my purse. I could almost feel it down there, under my desk, like a pulsing hot beacon of shame, reminding me of what I'd done. I'd thought about leaving it home, but I had decided I needed to keep it with me. I wasn't really sure why, but it seemed like what I had to do.
"I noticed you left early Saturday morning," Stacey said. "We were a bit worried. Hope everything is okay."
I winced. It seemed at least one person had realized I'd gone missing.
"Totally fine," I said, trying to keep the tension out of my voice. I don't think I succeeded very well. "Just had enough of Vegas for one weekend. Didn't want to lose any more money playing slots."
"Ahh. I see." Stacey smiled at me, but with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. I wondered if she suspected there was something more to my story. But if she did, at least she didn't say anything about it.
I kept my head down and got to work. There was a lot to be done, especially considering the big deal we had just closed. My inbox was full of news articles that had already been published about the deal, and part of my job was to review them for accuracy. Any that were accurate and put a good spin on the deal, I would share via the company's Twitter account and Facebook page. Any articles I found that were negative, or inaccurate, I would forward to Stacey, and she would put a response if she deemed it necessary. I also had lists of talking points from the heads of various departments, and I would need to write short articles or make social media posts on a variety of topics. Every once in a while I would also respond to questions people posted on social media, though Stacey would need to authorize what information I was able to share.
I was hard at work when an email notification popped up on my screen. I glanced at it just to see if it was anything important.
The subject read, "Please see me." The sender was [email protected].
It was from Jack.
I immediately minimized the window. I couldn't deal with Jack right now. I knew I couldn't hide from him forever. Not without quitting and finding a new job. But it was too soon. I still hadn't figured out what to do, or what to say to him.
Abou
t half an hour later, I got another email, this time with the subject line, "Please." I closed that one as well, not bothering to read it.
A little while later, Stacey turned to me. "Jillian?" she asked.
"Yeah?"
"I just got an email from Jack. He says he needs to see you in his office."
I froze, my fingers still poised over my keyboard. I just sat there for a moment, too shocked to think straight.
He had emailed my supervisor. That son of a bitch had gotten my department head involved.
"Everything okay?" Stacey asked.
"Yeah," I said, not meeting her eyes. "Yeah, it's fine."
It wasn't fine. It wasn't fine at all. But I couldn't say anything in front of Stacey.
I continued sitting there, dumb with shock. Then Stacey asked, "Shouldn't you go see what Jack needs?"
"Yeah. Right. Of course." I got up, smoothing out my skirt. I took a deep breath, then headed out the door and down the hall towards Jack's office.
I felt like everyone's eyes were on me as I walked past their desks and cubicles. Not that anyone in the office ever paid attention to me. But today, I felt like they knew. They must have seen Jack and I together at the bar in Vegas, or seen us going back to the hotel together. Or maybe they could just see the guilt in my eyes.
Jack's office was at the far end of the building. It was a big corner office with windows overlooking the small business district beyond. Our office was in the suburbs, because the lease was cheaper that way, but we still got lots of clients who came in from the denser urban sprawl of the city. Sometimes we entertained clients from out of state, though a lot of our work was done remotely, via email and teleconferencing.
I had to walk past Kelsey's desk in order to get to Jack's office. Kelsey was Jack's assistant, but she was really a lot more than that. She was basically his right hand. Everyone looked to her as the office manager, even if that wasn't her official title.
I forced a smile as I walked past her. She smiled in return. I held my breath, hoping Kelsey wouldn't realize what was going on. Of all the people in the office, she was the last one I wanted to find out.
I made my way past Kelsey's desk and over to Jack's office. I knocked on the door, even though it was wide open. Jack always had a policy that any of his employees could drop by any time, to discuss any issues or concerns they might have. I'd never once set foot in his office, though, and I didn't feel welcome there now. This felt less like going to see my boss—or my husband—and more like being called down to the principal's office.
Jack looked up at me. "Jillian. Come in. Have a seat."
I kept my eyes lowered, walking in without saying a word. Jack walked past me, shutting the door and closing the blinds. He only ever shut the door when he was having private meetings. I was glad this particular matter would be kept private, of course. But it just made me feel all the more exposed. I almost would have rather had a witness there, just so that I wouldn't be facing Jack alone.
I sat down. I could feel Jack's presence behind me. It made me tremble, but not entirely in a bad way. I was scared, but at the same time, I couldn't help remembering how good it had felt, being in bed with him, feeling his arms wrapped around me. This was the man who had taken my virginity.
This was my husband. Even if that didn't feel real just yet.
He walked back over to his desk, leaning against it. He looked at me. I couldn't meet his eyes.
"How are you feeling?" he asked after a long and awkward silence.
I shrugged. "I don't know."
"I've been worried," he said. "You haven't returned any of my messages."
I felt bad about that. He had called and texted me dozens of times. Maybe it had been wrong of me to avoid speaking to him, but I had been too scared. I was still scared. I felt like I was in completely over my head.
I kept my eyes on my lap. "I didn't really know what to say."
He stepped closer. I tensed up. He reached down and took one of my hands, holding it in both of his. "Jillian, I want you to know that I never wanted to do anything to hurt you. And that your feelings and privacy are very important to me. I hope we can use some discretion here. For both of our sakes."
I finally looked up at him. I licked my trembling lips. I wasn't sure what he meant. Was he asking me to have a discreet, private relationship with him?
I'd been expecting him to tell me that it was a mistake. That I should forget that it had ever happened. And while part of me understood the sense behind that idea, I knew I could never forget. Not my first time. That experience would always be a part of me.
So maybe, I thought, trying to keep things going with Jack would be the best idea. Not the most sensible, professional idea. But the truest I could be to my heart.
I looked up into Jack's eyes. “I can be discreet,” I said.
He smiled at me, patting my hand. “Good. That's good.”
He started to pull away, but I didn't want him to go. I didn't really know what I wanted, but at least for that one moment, I knew I didn't want his hands to leave mine. I pulled him closer, still looking up at him from my chair.
His face scrunched up in confusion. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again.
I pulled his hand over to my face, pressing his palm against my cheek. His touch was warm and gentle. I kept staring up at him, biting my lower lip. I didn't know if this was what he really wanted, but I wanted to try, at least. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted him to be pleased with me.
“Jillian...” he said, looking into my eyes. He held still for a moment, then he started caressing my cheek.
I let out a soft sigh. It was such a simple, tender touch. But it felt so nice.
With him standing there above me, his crotch was right in front of my face. I looked at it, not really meaning to, but unable to tear my eyes away. I could see a growing bulge pressing against the black silk of his pants. I remembered the touch, look, and taste of what was hidden by that soft fabric. I felt my mouth watering. I wanted to taste it again.
“Jillian,” Jack said, “we should—”
I didn't want to stop and listen to what he was trying to say. I wanted to keep going. I wanted to hold onto that foolish, impulsive moment that we had shared back in Vegas. When we had dived right in, consequences be damned. I'd never experienced anything like that before, but now that I'd had a taste, I didn't want to give it up.
I reached out and pressed my hand against his bulge. He went silent, his entire body tensing up. I started rubbing his crotch through the fabric of his pants. I could feel him growing harder under my touch.
“Jillian...”
I looked up at him, my eyes wide. I was unsure of myself. I'd only done this once before, and I couldn't be sure if I was doing it right. For a moment, I thought he might push me away. That he would be disgusted with me. Ashamed of my behavior.
Instead, he started caressing my hair. There was a tension in his touch, like he wanted to pull me closer, but he was holding himself back. I could see the conflict in his eyes. The guilt warring with his building sense of lust.
I decided to take charge. I was sure this was what he wanted. And I wanted to give it to him.
I unzipped his pants. Jack pressed his lips together to hold back a groan. His eyes shot to the closed door. Everyone in the office was right on the other side. And considering Jack usually had an open-door policy, it was possible that someone might just barge right in without knocking.
I didn't care. I was too in the moment. I reached into Jack's pants, pulling down the waistband of his underwear so I could reach his cock. I pulled it out through his open fly. I looked up at him while I started stroking it.
He leaned back against his desk, pulling me closer. I scooted my chair forward so my face would stay right by his cock. I rubbed it slowly and gently, marveling at the feeling of it in my hand. It was thick and hard, even harder than I remembered it being the first time.
I took my time, exploring the way it felt
between my fingers. I noticed how Jack tensed and grunted whenever I brushed against the head, or when my thumb touched an extra sensitive spot on the underside. I paid extra attention to those sensitive spots, making Jack's groans grow louder as I worked my fingers up and down on his cock.
Jack reached up and put his other hand on the back of my head. I braced myself, holding my breath. I knew what was coming. I opened my mouth just as he pulled my head forward, forcing his cock between my lips.
I moaned around my mouthful, closing my eyes. Jack pulled on my head, thrusting his hips against me to shove his cock in and out. I kept one hand on it, massaging the most sensitive spots with each thrust as his cock slid between my lips. He started thrusting faster, and I tightened my grip, massaging his hardness with each thrust.
I opened my eyes, looking up at him. His expression was tense and focused. When he looked into my eyes, his grip on my head tightened, his hands making fists around my hair. I groaned in pain, but it only spurred me on. I'd never felt so utterly controlled before, and I found it invigorating.
“God, Jillian...” Jack stared down at me, his expression intense. He set his jaw, shoving his cock in deeper, until I started to choke. I let out a panicked moan as I felt his cock hitting the back of my throat. On instinct, I tried to pull away, but he had both fists gripping my hair, and I was helpless to resist him.
I closed my eyes, moaning more intensely as Jack fucked my face good and hard. One of his hands grabbed my hair on the top of my head, pulling me closer. His other hand braced against the back of my neck, forcing me to stay close. The sour taste of precum filled my mouth, and I knew more would be coming soon.
Jack let out a loud grunt, clenching his teeth tight. I felt a warm, sticky squirt in my mouth as he started to come. I was forced to swallow, but more kept coming, and Jack kept a tight grip on my hair to keep me from pulling away. My mouth filled with his seed, until it started dribbling past my lips and down my chin. Jack's grip loosened and he leaned against his desk, allowing me to pull away, coughing and gagging. I covered my mouth with my hand, coughing up cum. I took a few deep breaths, trying to settle myself.
Beautiful Mistakes: Contemporary Romance Boxset Books 1-4 Page 57