by Karla Luna
Because come on, no one can be that good. We’ve established that many times before, and Zavier was evidence as well. It’s just not possible.
He’s such a clueless boy. I found out he couldn’t be that good since it was just too hard to believe. Now, I’m not so sure about him, but I wanted to see the bad in Joss. I wanted her to explode and show me who she really was deep down inside.
And if she didn’t… well, I was still going to pound her face in.
“You know…”
Joss gasped and dropped all of her bags at the sound of my voice. She abruptly spun around to see just who it was. When she saw that it was me, she frowned and tried catching her breath, since I’m sure she lost it the second she heard someone next to her this late at night. “I never believed good girls were actually good. I mean, come on, Jocey.”
At the mere mention of her full name, she swallowed hard and clutched tight her purse, which was previously hanging over her shoulder but had fallen down to her elbow when she turned to me.
“I’m sure you hate me just as much as I hate you, there is no denying that!” I paused to stare deeply in her eyes. She tried looking away a couple of times but I continued giving her a scathing look. So she gave up and just stared at me, as I smirked and then looked up at the sky. “So why don’t you quit bein’ a little bitch.”
I wanted to laugh yet again because when I said that, her big eyes seemed to get even bigger because of the insult. But that wasn’t even an insult for me. My insults were way worse and I think we’ve already established that by now as well. Wasn’t she used to it already?
“Stop being such a stupid, damn cunt, too.”
She just looked down and pretended to smile as she sniffed. I squinted my eyes in the darkness and saw some tears in her eyes.
“Evelyn, go home. You’re drunk. I… would you like me to drive you?” she asked in that fake-sweet tone of hers. “Wouldn’t want you to get hurt. These neighborhoods at night are dangerous. Stormy and Zavier would be…”
“Oh, cut it with that crap already!” I yelled at her while tugging my hair and then craning my neck all around to calm myself down a little. But once again, I ended up laughing and throwing my head back. “You don’t give a single fuck about me. I’m sure that if I were to ride that car with you, you’d crash it on purpose just to hurt me. Possibly even kill me.”
All she did was stare at me but then she shook her head slowly. “I was never after you, Evelyn. I wanted to be nice to you and you just accused me of these things and assumed stuff. I’m not like that.”
“Please, you just wanted Zavier all to your precious self,” I scoffed.
“I…” she paused to frown again as if she were actually majorly confused. “Is this what all of this is about? Zavier?”
My heart broke at the mention of his name. But I wanted to feel absolutely nothing for him anymore. He didn’t even let me explain what was actually going on with Davne and I after he heard about it from God knows where. He was just as selfish as everyone else and I wanted to forget all about him. For good.
But was this really the reason why I decided to come over here and confront Joss once I saw her? The girl he’s liked since… forever? Because it wasn’t her fault he felt that way for her. It was just the way his feelings worked.
I just hated it. I hated not being the one he loved. I hated not being loved at all. I just wanted to…
“You can tell Zavier I don’t care, because that’s how bad people are, right, Joss? They don’t care about anything or anyone at all.” I took one last drag of my cigarette and then dropped it, stepping on it right afterward. But not once did I move my eyes away from her still frightened face. “They’re dumb, and reckless and just… they can’t love! That’s what it is!”
Great, I was going to start yapping. But it’s not like I could stop it. This was the type of drunk where I just couldn’t keep what I was thinking inside my head. I had to express it. I just had to.
“Life sucks, you know. But there’s one thing that actually beats life sometimes. And that’s love. Love is just such a horrid thing, don’t you think, Jocey?”
I knew falling in love again was a mistake. Why did my heart have to feel this way for some nerdy boy that I knew, by day one, wouldn’t like me back at all?
Sure. Opposites do attract in some cases, I admit that due to Drake’s relationship with his good girl, that I’m sure was going great. And I was just so happy for him. But it’s like the universe hated me all over again for all the bad things I’d done. It didn’t want me to be with Zavier. And it sure as hell didn’t want me to be good for him.
The most horrible thing I had done didn’t even come close to any of this. I’ve been assaulted horribly in the past and actually had to hurt that person very badly to defend myself, that he could very well be dead by now. It was such a horrible thing and I should’ve been sent to jail, even if it was some clearly self-defense.
But no matter how bad I was, I wasn’t going to hurt anyone badly tonight. My instincts told me to do so, but I stopped myself every time from doing something really stupid.
“Really, Evie, let’s just take you home, all right? J-just calm down and I’ll go give you a ride or something.”
I tried to keep it in this time, but I laughed all over again until I suddenly stopped and glared at her.
Evie? Oh, how pathetic.
“Fucking skank,” I said, making her eye twitch in a very irritating way as she licked her upper teeth while trying her best to smile at me and not snap. I mean come on, it was easy getting her to explode, and I knew it. Even if the explosion wasn’t huge, I knew I would be ticking her off enough to tell me something – maybe something to get me annoyed, or mad, or depressed. That’s just the way it worked.
“We’re dating now, you know?”
Oh, there it is, that’s what I was waiting for!
“He asked me to be his girlfriend on our amazing date, Evie. And I’m sorry to say, but he’s forgotten all about you. You’re absolutely nothing to him, and he said that to me himself. He wants nothing to do with you and you just have to understand that. So just leave him alone.”
I kept quiet for a couple of seconds until I started laughing once again. Boy, this girl was too funny!
“Like I give a crap.” But I knew it was all a lie. I did care more than anything. But she couldn’t know that. That’d mean she’d be winning and I wasn’t the one to lose… even though I already lost my good boy.
I couldn’t just take her word for it though. Hell, no! I needed to see her with Zavier. Kissing and doing all of that dumb lovey dovey stuff even though it would definitely hurt me so bad – and wishing it were me he was with instead.
But I guess that meant things were over. The lessons were over, and even our friendship was over, because of me trying to protect him when I could’ve just done something else rather than hang out with his enemy. I was actually so scared that I didn’t think straight. I couldn’t think of other ways to protect him.
I would ask Ian and Darrel for help, since they were back. But really, what was the point? I couldn’t save what I had with Zavier and it couldn’t be repaired either.
“Oh, Evie, you can’t hurt me, you know. Zavier will hate you.”
“Oh, my gosh… you are so right!” I yelled at her while gripping my hair and then pointing at her. “But wait, I still don’t care.” He already hated me. So again, what was the point? It wasn’t going to change anything, was it? Was hurting Joss way worse than hanging out with his enemy? Pshh…
“Just keep telling yourself tha—”
Her words were completely cut off when my fist made contact with her ‘perfect’ Barbie doll face. I’ve just had enough of her stupid blabbing. And goddamn, did it feel good to finally punch her!
She had even fallen to the ground, her eye already getting swollen, with the beginnings of a bruise around it.
I wasn’t the one to punch lightly either. And even if I did try to playfully punch peop
le, it would still probably seriously hurt them, even if they pretended it didn’t. People just like to act tough, that’s all, like their bodies were made of steel.
Like they were the Man of Steel.
Ha!
“What were you saying?” I asked while cupping my hand over my ear. “I didn’t hear you over the sound of… me still not giving a fuck!”
She coughed while still on the ground and tried sitting up, but her arms were wobbly so she dropped back down and spit blood out. “Bitch,” she whispered, making me step forward. But she got scared again and put her hand up in defense. “Fine! I get it!”
“Not so tough now, are you?” I said, right before stepping back to get out of there. But then, I quickly realized something.
I went over to grab the bags she had dropped and knew there was food in them. So I thought, why the hell not? She was helpless on the ground, I was hungry, and she didn’t deserve what was in those bags at all. “I’m fucking taking your food.”
So that was when I actually left.
I was just so done with her bullshit. I was so done with everyone’s bullshit!
And not once did I think about going back home. I just kept walking and walking, starting to feel a little more sober each minute. I knew though that all I needed was a whole lot more drinks, but there was only one other place I could think of. One place that had it all, but wasn’t a club nor a bar, and not like the other places where I’d usually end up going at all.
And as I reached that final destination, I tried fixing my hair a bit to look sweet and sober and all that shit. I was just about to knock on the door, when it opened by itself, revealing the other person that I so badly wanted to punch in the face as well.
But it didn’t even matter to me anymore. Nothing really mattered anymore.
“Why bunny, what brings you here?”
• Zavier •
I yawned and moved to the side of my bed as I scrunched my nose and started to blink my eyes open. It was something I did right before waking up every morning, even though I’d already be seeing a big blur once I fully opened my eyes, due to my horrible blindness.
Although, I kind of felt like someone was breathing right next to my ear. And my arm tickled, like something was crawling right on it. It sort of made me giggle… and almost freak out at the same ti—
I fully opened my eyes right then and turned my head to the left.
I practically screamed and jumped off the bed once I saw a random blond guy on my freakin’ bed, staring right at me.
I ended up falling to the ground with a loud thud as I grabbed on to my throbbing head before quickly getting up. I had a metal baseball bat by my bed that no one really knew of, so I grabbed it right away and pointed it at the guy.
“W-who are you?!”
All he did was smile and wave his hand at me. That’s when my heart accelerated yet again at seeing this other guy – this time, a brown-haired one – looking at the stuff on one of my shelves.
What the… Who were these people!?
I didn’t want to die like this!
Though they seemed nice.
No! A puppy may look nice but it can also behave like a demon just entered its soul. Freakin’ hell!
“Seriously, this bat can break someone’s arm, jaw and nose… all at the same time!” I yelled pretty confidently, but they just stayed still and silent. I realized then that what I had just said was both stupid and true.
The blond guy on my bed just pursed his lips and rolled his eyes at the brown-haired one. “Definitely him,” he said, making the other chuckle and turn to look at me.
“Chill, dude, your mom let us stay here,” the brown-haired guy said as he played with my Slinky Dog. I should feel embarrassed to even have that in my room, but I really didn’t care at the moment.
I mean, come on, ‘Toy Story’ was awesome!
But anyway, this felt sort of weird to me. Were these guys just trying to calm me down and then jump me once I put the bat down? Haha. Because I wasn’t falling for it. I may only have school smarts, but I’ve been learning street smarts, too, especially on how to be careful when dealing with strangers.
“Why don’t I believe you?” I demanded, swallowing hard as my hands gripped the bat even tighter. I’m sure that if I were still the guy who I was a few weeks back, I’d run away without any hesitation, or maybe even jump out the window.
Yeah, that’d be nice.
“Ian? Darrel? Where… Oh.”
All of us turned to face the door when my mother came in, holding her laundry basket while wearing a small smile. “I see you two have met my son.”
I sighed deeply and put the bat down. Then I brought my hand to my sweaty face and looked at her, gesturing to the other two guys that were still acting as if they were Jesse and Ethan.
Not even they did this, come on!
Okay that’s a lie. That’s definitely a lie.
They did it, but in a slightly less creepy way.
“Mom, who are these guys?” I asked in the calmest tone that I could possibly muster. Though I’m sure the annoyance in my voice was quite noticeable, too.
“Oh. Why, they’re only Evelyn’s friends. Did they not introduce themselves yet?”
“Whoops!” The blond yelled out as he finally got up from my bed. Then he grabbed my hand and gave me a handshake, pulling me into a hug right afterward that I didn’t even bother to give back. “Name’s Darrel.”
“Ian,” I heard the guy with brown hair mutter with a salute as he continued to look over my stuff.
“Yeah, Zavier. Uh, very nice to meet you all,” I sarcastically said as I turned to my mother with gritted teeth. “Could’ve told me that earlier!”
“What kid, thought we were robbers or something?” Ian asked just when my mother opened her mouth, ready to respond.
“Not gonna lie. Yes.” This confidence was just going great. I was being sarcastic and I was being straightforward. And I wasn’t acting like a wimp. Was this part of the process of changing?
Ian shrugged as if he were told that billions of times before already. And being Evelyn’s friend, I’m sure it was true as well. Not saying anything, I wasn’t judging either. Just that… they’re likely the bad boys she’s told me about before. But wasn’t there a third one in the group? Where was he?
“Pfft. Batman all the way, dude.”
I groaned to myself and turned to see the creepy Darrel guy touching some of my Superman stuff.
“Just leave that alone,” I said, feeling my cheeks go red. And I didn’t even know if it was from slight embarrassment or anger. It’s true that I was obsessed with Superman, but I didn’t care. I just bought what I liked. And I liked a whole lot of things.
“You know Evelyn’s team Batman, right?” Ian said. “Haven’t had discussions about that one? Gets pretty intense since Drake was all Superman.”
A light bulb turned on in my head at the mention of Drake. So that was the other guy. I had completely forgotten. I mean, he got her a freakin’ motorcycle and everything her first day of school. He always sounded like such a great guy. He was good for Evelyn, too.
Evelyn…
“Speaking of… hey, nerd, do you know where Evelyn went?”
I was already starting to get irritated with this Ian guy. But I paid no attention to the ‘nerd’ calling, since I got that on a daily basis anyway.
But wait, what does he mean by that question? She didn’t come home since last night? Or did she come back and leave early this morning? Because she was bound to do something like that, so it wasn’t surprising. But her staying out all night? That was different.
“Wait, she’s not here yet?” I asked, and they both just looked at each other with a frown and shook their heads.
Now, I was worried.
But I was supposed to be mad at her. A small part of me told me that I should feel bad for not letting her explain at least a little more last night, but I was just so angry that I didn’t even want to hear her voice at
the moment. No matter how much I actually loved it, all I could really hear and remember was her moaning.
And I didn’t even know if she actually did it with Davne. That was the worst part in this entire situation, to be honest.
But I wanted to find her. Maybe let her explain. Because overnight, I was able to think a lot and calm myself down.
I still felt something strong for her and I just didn’t want to lose our friendship over something like this. Just because I didn’t like the guy, didn’t mean she had to hate him, too. She was bad, he was bad, what more was there to say? Plus, she could take care of herself, right?
Dammit. I just hated all of this.
I hated myself the most though, for acting the way I did last night –with Evelyn and Joss. They didn’t deserve being spoken to like that, did they? I jumped right to conclusions with Evelyn, and I yelled at Joss for trying to help me with my mini nervous breakdown. I was always told to respect women, and look what I’ve done.
I’ve turned into an absolute prick.
“Well, I guess she’ll be back later. Then we can go party or some shit,” Ian laughed, “Damn! I do miss our little bad girl. She always made the parties wild.”
She sure made everything wild.
I looked down and licked my lips, but then abruptly looked back up when I heard my phone ring. I checked the pockets of my sweatpants, but it wasn’t there. Then I remembered I left it on my desk, though when I looked to see if it was there – I already heard Darrel answering it with a huge smile, winking at me.
All I could do was tighten my hands into fists and quietly groan. Because come on, I wouldn’t want to fight these guys for a phone. They’d beat me to pulp.
“Yello?” he answered with a little smirk.
“What the fuck you saying ‘yellow’ for?” I clearly heard Jesse scoff all the way from over here. He was just that loud. “You don’t hear me going ‘Oh Blue, Green, Purple, Red.’ Psh. Where the hell is Zavier?”
“Haha!” Darrel laughed and threw his head back on the pillow. “I like this guy!” he told me right before putting the phone back to his ear. “Zavier cannot answer the phone right this minute, but please leave a message.”