by Karla Luna
She would completely disown me if she found out.
So I was really, really hoping that this video wouldn’t be sent to every single person in New Jersey. I would be embarrassed to ever leave the house. My mother would most probably not let me out of the house for sure. I’m pretty sure she would even bring college to me.
Okay, breathe. Just breathe. Zavier, you’re overreacting, as usual. This wasn’t that bad, was it? It’s not like the person, whoever it was, had filmed every single detail. But that was the only good thing in all of this.
I hated being teased, picked on, threatened, or even high-fived this morning. All of these people were calling Evelyn bad names, thinking she was just out there to get any guy for her own pleasure, even the dorkiest kid in school.
I wanted them to call me bad names. Laugh at me. Anything. I didn’t care. Because I knew Evelyn didn’t deserve what these people were doing to her. And why did it even matter to them?
It got me sad seeing her look broken, like she couldn’t handle anything anymore. She was the Evelyn I had gotten to know. Even with people calling her ‘the bad girl’, including me, I knew she wasn’t all bad. Deep down, she was scared. And she couldn’t handle certain things on her own.
I wanted to help her.
But I also knew she needed to be alone for now. And I knew I had made the right choice when I heard her break Tobie’s nose not even five minutes after she had walked into English class.
She would’ve broken my nose. She really liked to punch that part of the face, didn’t she?
Sighing deeply, I sat back in my seat and stared up at the ceiling.
“Are you finished…” The teacher was about to speak up when one of the Dean’s assistants walked in with a sheet of paper in his hands. The teacher looked at me, pushing his glasses up. “Mr. Coin, you’re expected in the Principal’s office.”
My heart drummed wildly against my chest as I frowned and started to pick my stuff up. The class went ‘oooh’. But much like during the start of the day, I chose to ignore them and walked right out.
I had no idea why I was expected there. It might be good or bad. I didn’t know exactly. But I was nervous because I knew that Evelyn was most likely there as well. I just saw her being sent there, after all.
I got more the nervous when I was led into Principal Graham’s office and saw him sitting at his desk, patiently waiting. Evelyn was sitting in one of the chairs across from him, her hand on her cheek as if she was bored or tired, which she most likely was.
Once I cleared my throat, she abruptly turned and saw me. I looked at her for a few seconds and then turned to the Principal.
“You um, wanted to see me, sir?” I asked, as he nodded and motioned to the seat right next to Evelyn. I took a deep breath and then sat down, sitting straight with my hands put together and my forearms resting on the arms of the chair.
“Evelyn. Zavier,” he started with a fake smile as he looked through a phone and then turned it so that we could look at it. I felt my cheeks turn pink when I noticed that it was the video. The stupid video I knew everyone had already seen. “Would you two like to explain this to me?”
“Yeah,” Evelyn spoke up as she faked a chuckle, making me rub my face with my hand. Oh, here we go… “Some fucking creep decided to sneak in and look through the window and film it. It’s disgusting since he clearly wanted to make some damn porn video or some shit.”
That’s when I decided to speak up, feeling rather uncomfortable due to her choice of words and colorful vocabulary. “My apologies, Principal Graham,” I started, making Evelyn look away while rolling her eyes. I think she got annoyed since she swore and I apologized for it. But I didn’t want her to disrespect others like this, no matter if she’d done it before. “But I do believe that this isn’t exactly child pornography or anything of the sort, so I don’t…”
“Mr. Coin. This video is still very inappropriate to be going around the school. This is a place of learning, not... this. Now you tell me why you let this happen. It’s practically a sex tape!”
“Oh, calm down, will you,” Evelyn snapped, making us both turn to stare at her. “Half of these kids have sex right in this very school. It’s not a sex tape. It barely shows anything. Clearly this creeper wanted to see our naked bodies right afterward but poor fucker didn’t get a chance to. Isn’t that right, Zavier?”
I just blushed and covered my face with my hands. Goddammit, Evelyn!
“Clearly we slept together. What the fuck is there to hide GrahamCrackers?”
At that, I shook my head in disappointment and got up, walking right out of the room. Once I had made it to the hall, where I could breathe better, I gripped my hair in my hands. I paced back and forth, thinking of a bunch of things and then suddenly thinking about nothing at all.
Evelyn came right out and into the hall with a detention slip just a couple of seconds later.
And instead of seeming mad, she seemed like she more or less expected it. “Detention today. Isn’t that awesome? Oh, and we can’t go to Winter Formal on Friday. Whoops.”
I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. “Evelyn, you can’t just do that.”
“Do what?”
“Disrespect the principal that way. Or tell him what we did!” I groaned right after I shouted at her and turned around to try and calm myself down at least a little.
“It was obvious! What is there to hide, Zavier? All this morning I was hurt and laughed at but who the fuck even…”
“Evelyn.” I turned back to stare right at her. “Look… I’m sorry. I’m sorry all of this happened but don’t pretend like you don’t care anymore, because I know you do.”
“On my way to the office, I thought about it,” she said with a laugh that already seemed fake. “What is there to even care about?”
“You can’t pretend things are fine. You just can’t pretend anymore. Please. You were…” I shut my eyes tight for a few seconds before opening them again and lowering my voice. “You were a virgin and you didn’t even tell me! That wasn’t okay. It also makes me feel like such an idiot for even doing it.”
She seemed nervous before she started talking. “I don't… I didn't want to say ‘no’ to you, so I just did it. It's no big deal, okay?”
“No big deal? I practically raped you!”
“Zavier, you didn't rape me! Okay?” She bit her lip and looked around before looking back at me, her blue eyes full of sadness. “I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it. You know why? Because… if you were supposed to do it with the one you love, then I wanted to do it, because I love you. And you know how much I love you.”
I just shook my head at her as if she were absolutely insane.
“I-I shouldn’t have even asked though. You’re not… I practically called you a slut, too, didn’t I? God, I’m... I’m a horrible... I’m really sorry this ever happened. A-and if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s all mine.”
I turned around again and tried to breathe. I felt my throat closing up, my lips felt dry, and I felt really, really hot all of a sudden.
“Zavier?” Evelyn’s hand landed on my shoulder but I just moved away as if it were burning my skin.
I swallowed a lump in my throat and coughed out, starting to breathe a bit properly again.
“I have to… all right, I don’t even think I’ll be able to take this. I have to go.” Before she could stop me, or even chase after me, I ran right out of there.
I just didn’t want to be here at all. I didn’t want to be anywhere.
And probably for the first time in my entire life, I hated being in school.
45: Illegal Means
• Evelyn •
Watching Zavier run right out of the school was pretty horrible. Probably because it felt like he was running away from me. And also maybe because these people might not be the cause of these problems, at all. Maybe I was.
And I hated how he practically had to hide the rest of the week, only taking his finals and putting his head down wh
enever he was finished. And being the smart kid, he was always finished with over 200 questions in less than 15 minutes. But I couldn’t seem to concentrate and sometimes had to ask to take the finals outside.
But he was still in my head even then.
The kids continued their laughter and teasing. But after school, I ended up kicking some of their asses while Zavier just walked away from them as if he didn’t care about anything, his Beats right over his ears to help him escape the world for a little while.
He didn’t talk to any of us, either. Just said one or two words, or gave us a brief nod, and then he was on his way. I kept trying to talk to him but he kept pushing me away, and I just wanted to know what exactly was wrong with him.
It was Friday night, the night of the Winter Formal. And I was sitting on the couch surfing the channels on TV while covered in tons of blankets. But I did also sneak in a bottle of alcohol from downstairs. I’ve stopped drinking but the cravings decided to sneak up on me that night, and I really needed a drink to take my mind off of certain things. Zavier, like this whole week, was locked up in his room. And right then, I just wanted to forget about him, even though with every drop of alcohol, I still had him on my mind.
I was still and always will be stupidly in love with him.
And it hurt that he was shutting me out when he should just talk to me and just let me in.
I didn’t even jump when the door suddenly burst open and in came my boys. Darrel yelled out ‘I’M HOME!’ and walked right into the kitchen, not surprisingly. Ian chuckled at him, closed the door gently, and walked over to me.
“Hey, Eve,” he said in a cheerful tone and with a huge smile. But once he saw me and how much of a mess I was, his smile died down immediately. “Darrel! Get in here, we’re gonna go kick some…”
“Ian, no,” I said, barely finding my voice as I sniffed and sat up. He frowned and came to sit next to me when I gave him room. Darrel walked in with the kitchen knives ready in his hands. Though they sort of had some leaves and grass stuck to them.
“I got these from the bushes outside.”
Ian waved him off. “Not now, go back and eat.”
“Oh, thank God!”
Once Darrel was gone, Ian put his arm around me and I snuggled close to him, resting my head on his chest. He breathed out and played with my hair to calm me down a little.
“What’s wrong, Eve?” he asked, making me tightly press my lips together.
“He won’t talk to me.” I whimpered out, already feeling my heart break for what seemed to be the 100th time this week. The guys haven’t been able to come due to my exams, but I was sort of glad they did tonight. I really needed some cheering up and I knew these goofs would give me at least some laughs. But they could also just talk to me and make me feel better. “I feel like I did something wrong.”
He took a deep breath and patted my shoulder. “Well… he was the one who felt like he did something wrong. Clearly. He probably thinks you hate him or that you shouldn’t even talk to him for it. But none of this was your fault, or his, you know. If that makes you feel better. You guys wanted to be intimate and that’s one of the best parts about a relationship. It’s gonna be hard at times, but you just gotta pull through together.”
I nodded and thought about it. Well, Ian presented good points there, with every single thing he had just said.
But what the…
“What are you on about…?” I suspiciously asked Ian as I looked up at him, making him throw his hands up in the air and take a book out of nowhere. Yeah, practically out of the fucking thin air.
“Okay seriously, so I read his mother’s books. Does that make me look bad? Is it bad that I actually get that bored sometimes? Jeez.”
I frowned at him and he just shook his head and waved that part of the subject off. I mean, I just wanted to know. He was really giving me some good talk and I actually listened to what he said.
Maybe he should work with Stormy. Ha. That would be something.
“Thanks, Ian. I just really hate everything right now,” I said. “I actually wanted to go to that stupid Formal with Zavier, too, but never even admitted it to myself.”
We would’ve had a good time and I knew it. With him in a sexy suit and being all sweet… it would’ve been a lot of fun. And usually, I hated these types of things.
But Zavier just made so many things much better.
Dammit, teddy bear!
That’s when I noticed Ian smirking at me and I raised my eyebrows at him. “Well, I believe you should. Maybe not with him but alone. Just remember who we are. Show them who you are, Evelyn. Fuck what they think. You’re Evelyn Jo. Fuck what they think.”
I smiled at his choice of words, but then thought real hard about it. If he meant I should show them who I was, then that meant showing them what things I could really do. And I don’t think I could do that again.
I got kicked out of my last school for something big that I probably should’ve gotten arrested for, or sent to an actual mental hospital for. But I didn’t want something like that to happen all over again, because I was angry and careless then.
I knew these guys sort of missed the old me. But really, I haven’t changed much. And I didn’t want Ian pushing me into doing something bad again because I was done with causing trouble.
Okay, sort of lying there. I mean I did kick a bunch of asses all this week. It was pretty fun. But other than that, I didn’t want to do anything else.
“I… I can’t do that, Ian. I’ll be kicked out of here before I know it. I can’t get into trouble and end up having to go back.”
He nodded as if actually understanding. “Well, you don’t have to get into trouble. Just have a little fun here and there. Sure, our way of fun is doing a couple of bad things, but you don’t need to kill somebody or hurt yourself horribly to have fun.”
He got up and held his hands out. I took them in mine and he lifted me up. Then, he took a bag out of his jacket pockets, placing it in my hands. I frowned at him but felt the marijuana, making my heart race a little, almost as if I was trying this for the very first time.
“Just for a little fun. So you can lighten up.”
I giggled to myself as I watched the flames erupt. My face lit up and I covered my mouth to keep from laughing at people’s faces when they saw all the disaster.
I swear, I felt pretty much like Carrie did when she hurt everyone at her school. If I had her powers, hell, yeah! I would murder every single one of these people! Or was that too harsh?
Nah, it wasn’t too harsh. I would’ve loved it.
This feeling I had was one of power and freedom, yet I still had him on my mind. There was no way that he would ever leave. He was always in there, trying to convince me that none of this was a good thing to do. But I hated how he was ignoring me and acting this way. I didn’t like it. But I guess if he wanted to be that way, then so be it. I’ll act my own way.
My thoughts got completely interrupted when I heard Principal GrahamCrackers yelling out, “There she is!” which totally made me run right out of my hiding spot.
Everyone saw me and they looked really angry but I sort of kept on laughing. Maybe it was the drugs in my system. But whatever, it still felt nice.
And even when people trying to run outside blocked the doors, I laughed and ended up crouching down, holding on to my stomach as if I were in pain.
I couldn’t run any further when I felt two guys grab my arms. They put them behind my back and I felt a little out of breath when I felt the handcuffs touch my wrists.
No trouble. That’s what I wanted. That’s what I was hoping for. But here I am, in a cell, waiting for whoever was coming to pick me up and bail me out.
It was completely stupid of me to go crash the Winter Formal… while I was high… and set a bunch of things on fire with the lighter I had. Plus I hurt a couple of people who made fun of me before I entered the place, wearing regular everyday clothes. But I guess it was the anger that made me do these things
. It may not seem like a great excuse but I have a problem with anger sometimes – and this is what it sometimes led to.
I was hoping for Ian to come and save my ass. Maybe even Darrel. But who I saw made my stomach churn and I ended up making eye contact with him for a very long time, pleading.
Until Zavier looked away from me first.
He turned to one of the officers and started chatting with them, making me stand up rather slowly since I was on the floor, which was exactly where I landed when they practically threw me in here.
I grabbed on to the bars and held on to my head, touching a bruise there, but I didn’t know how I got it. Honestly, I felt pain everywhere at that moment and I wanted to go home and rest with my teddy bear.
If he’d let me.
But what was he doing here? Out of all people that I know, I didn’t really expect him to be the one to bail me out.
“Hey, sweet cheeks.”
I rolled my eyes and turned to the guy in the cell next to mine. He’d been trying to talk to me but I hardly paid any attention to him due to my annoyance. I’m sure it would’ve been bad if I tried luring him to come near me and kick his ass, right in front of the cops. “Let’s see those sweet cheeks.” He winked at me and all I did was give him a disgusted look as I turned back to look at Zavier.
He was nodding, looking at a few papers and just listening to the officer speaking to him.
Suddenly, he looked up at me, and his eyes made me want to hide.
They were full of disappointment. So much disappointment and I hated it, although I know I deserved it.
I blinked hard when he looked away and pointed towards the entrance, where I saw Stormy coming in. She apologized and put a few things in her purse. Great, now I felt even worse about this. Why did I even do this? It was Ian’s idea but I wasn’t blaming him. This was all on me and I wanted to crawl into a dark hole to never be seen or heard from again.