by Karla Luna
Hey, Eve,
Nice to finally get to…
Oh great! Now I sounded like I’d bore her into another coma. But she was just a friend now. Oh what the hell was I doing, seriously? Just… what has gotten into me these past few days? Sending a letter to her? This wasn’t a chick-flick.
Know what? Let me just throw this away.
Huffing, I crumpled the paper up and threw it at the ground with the other… hundred crumpled up papers.
I turned around in my desk chair and looked around my room that had almost everything packed up into boxes already. I pushed my hair back and fixed my glasses as I saw the teddy bear on top of one box.
The freakin’ teddy bear that I just couldn’t let go of. If I had made it on time, I would’ve given it to her and she would’ve taken it to Virginia with her. But I didn’t run fast enough to catch her.
And for the next few days after that, I was angry, sad, and disappointed with myself and everyone else, even though I didn’t want to be. But I held on to the teddy bear, almost like I did when she was in a coma. Like I was afraid of what would happen later on. Because really, I was more afraid than I ever was.
It was like she was saved from the bullet, so that meant I wouldn’t lose her. But now? Well she has been gone and I haven’t heard from her in 5 months. The same silence from Drake, Ian and Darrel. Though I was still afraid of losing her somehow.
Questions swirled around my head daily, such as, What if she forgot about me? What if she wanted nothing to do with me now? What if she did find someone else? Someone like her? Someone better?
There were just so many possibilities.
I missed her so much and I was glad she was almost out of that horrible place. Or she was probably already out. I wouldn’t know unless I actually went there. But the problem was that I couldn’t. I had to leave for Harvard really soon and there wasn’t any time to go over there earlier.
They obviously accepted me when I thought they wouldn’t and it was an amazing opportunity to study what I’d like to.
Back at school, it felt pretty normal. Like my Freshmen, Sophomore, and Junior year. People passed by me like they used to, or they actually smiled at me like I was somebody famous or cool. Though I didn’t care about any of them or their popularity statuses. I just carried on with my education like any other kid at school should. No gossip. No drama. No stupidity. Nothing. I had to focus on just school.
Even if the girl I’m in love with was still on my mind all the time. But she was also the one who taught me not stress about things.
Shaking my head, I got up and went over to grab the teddy bear. I squeezed it like I wanted to rip it up and throw it out my window, but I would never do that. This teddy bear reminded me too much of Evelyn, but I was also actually glad she had left it. Because it was basically the only thing I had left of her, even though it was originally bought by me for her.
I stopped squeezing it rather tightly and stroked my thumbs over the soft coating. Then I gently put it back down where it once was when I heard my bedroom door open.
I turned and saw Jesse coming in with a box. I frowned at him and watched as he put the box down on the bed.
“Uh… hey, Jesse,” I slowly greeted.
“Hey, buddy,” he replied as he gave me a smile and patted the box.
“What’s… in the box?” I cautiously asked, knowing that Jesse might be planning to prank me or something. Because that was just how he was. On my birthday, he actually gave me a present. And to say I was surprised when I opened it was an understatement. Worst present I ever got.
“Oh, I uh, got a box full of condoms since you’ll be living the college life now!” he yelled as he wiggled his eyebrows and grinned at me. I covered my face with my hand and felt my ears get a little hot.
“Dude!”
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”
“Darrel has been rubbing off on you way too much, you know.”
Jesse licked his upper lip and put his hands on his waist. “Man, I miss that guy. Anyway, the box has a couple of vibrators…”
“Jesse.”
He held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, alright. In all seriousness, it’s got a few comics and games and some other shit you’ve left at my house these past couple of years.”
“Really, Jesse? Why return it all now?”
“Oh, I didn’t want to return it unless you were going away, which you are now.” He sighed and started looking at pretty much every single box I had filled up. Then I got a bit concerned once I heard sniffing coming from him.
“Hey… hey, Jess, are you okay?”
“Pfft, sweat in my eyes, don’t your eyes sweat? Gosh, Zavier, come here man.” He spread his arms out to me and came over to hug me. I was a bit shocked but awkwardly hugged him back. Then he suddenly whispered really close in my ear. “My mothafuckahhh—”
“Yeah, okay,” I chuckled and pulled him away from me, patting his shoulder. He only nodded and sniffed again. “Oh, have you seen Ethan?”
Right after Evelyn had left, I learned to forget about the past and forgive Ethan. I knew he was scared about the whole thing that happened. And though he didn’t think he should be forgiven, he did save me from getting hit by that bullet. It hit Evelyn and I hated that, but he didn’t know she was there. He just wanted to help me out, and he felt bad for not telling me the truth all these years. And now that Davne was locked up for a long time, we had nothing to worry about at all.
And that thought alone still made me happy.
“Well, he needs to be packing up to leave for college soon as well, so he’s at home. But I'm not sure he’ll come by and see you before you… dissappear.” He voice broke at the last word and I just went over and put my arm around him to pat his back. “I’m seriously just sweating…”
“Yeah, sure buddy, it’s all ri—” I cut myself off once I heard my phone ringing. I took my arm away from Jesse and reached inside my pocket for my phone. I frowned when I saw an unknown number there. But I answered anyway. “Hello?” I answered.
“Hey, nerd boy.” At the sound of the voice, I couldn’t help but playfully roll my eyes and smile as I put the phone on speaker so that Jesse could hear as well. There was only one person who called me that and it didn’t offend me as much as it used to.
“Is that Zavier you’re calling?” I heard Darrel ask from far away.
“Oh yeah, it’s nerd boy!” Ian yelled back.
“And Jesse!” Jesse yelled through the phone.
“Jesse! Hey!” Darrel yelled.
Ian chuckled before speaking again. “So what’s been goin’ on? Sorry for not being able to talk to ya. Or stay. But we wanted to be here in case Evelyn was in trouble again.”
Hearing her name made my heart race. “You guys haven’t talked to her?”
He deeply sighed. “Haven’t been able to see or talk to her at all. But we’ve stayed close. And uh, well… she’s finally out.”
I had nothing to say to that but on the inside I was extremely glad she was finally a legal adult that didn’t have to live by any of their stupid rules.
“But um… yeah, she’s out. But she left.”
“W-what?” Left? So she’s gone?
Jesse took the phone from my hands then when he noticed me motionless. “What the hell do you mean she left? Is she not around there anymore?”
We heard another deep sigh coming from Ian. “No… we don’t know where she is.”
“What the fuck do you mean she… ahhh!” Jesse and I jumped once my bedroom door burst open to reveal both Ian and Darrel. I swear I almost had a heart attack. And well, let’s just say Jesse and I were quite snugly close at the moment.
When he screamed, he not only dropped my phone to the floor, but he also somehow ended up in my arms, which was very awkward when the guys got a good look at us. They froze and stopped mid-greeting to stare, clearly wondering just what the hell we were doing. After a while, Jesse and I looked at each other and that’s when I dropped h
im back to his feet, and we acted like nothing happened.
“Very romantic, guys,” Ian said, as Darrel ran over to pick Jesse up, surprising him in the process.
“Buddy!”
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, noticing my heart was still going fast from the huge entrance they made. How did we not hear them inside the house? Then again, they were robbers. They could do it.
Ian didn’t answer me though. All he gave me was a huge, cheeky grin and when he stepped away from the door, my heart literally skipped a beat and then started going even quicker than it already did earlier.
I almost couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw my beauty, my angel, standing there with a smile on her perfect face. It almost felt like I hadn’t seen her in years, but she still looked the same. It was the clothes that were just a bit different.
She was wearing a sundress with bow heels, though her awesome leather jacket was still there. And she just looked so gorgeous that I thought my heart would just burst out of my chest. She always did manage to take my breath away and make me lose my concentration on everything else.
“Well, we’ll uh, leave you guys to it,” Ian said.
But Evelyn and I were still looking at one another as if no one else was in the room.
“Come on, guys.”
All three of them were out and the door was shut closed in a matter of seconds. I honestly had no idea what to say. I missed her like crazy and she was now standing right in front of me, after five months of being apart. And I did nothing but stare.
Well, I couldn’t deny that I was an admirer…
Because damn!
“Zavier, are you all right?”
I shook my head and licked my lips as I felt my cheeks turn bright pink. I ended up chuckling rather nervously and scratched the back of my neck as I took a look around.
“Oh, I-I uh… yeah, yeah, totally all right. Completely all right, did you get a haircut? Looks really, really nice on you. Like really nice.” Oh what are you saying, you’re embarrassing yourself here! It’s like you barely met the girl. Except she's not in her underwear now. But would I like that… oh, focus!
Evelyn only giggled and walked closer to me. She took another look at me and brought her hand up to gently push my hair back. “Maybe you’re the one who needs the haircut.”
“I… y-yeah. Maybe a little.”
She took her hand away and then reached for my hand that seemed to be balled up into a fist because of how nervous I actually was. “I missed you, teddy bear.”
At that, I let go of her hand and quickly took her in a warm embrace, hugging her tightly like I was never going to let her go again. Because I wasn’t. It was like my arms were her home and she had finally come home to me. I was so happy to have her back. I missed her beauty, her scent, her sense of humor, her attitude, her sweetness. Every single thing about her. There were no exceptions because I loved everything about her.
I swear I was never able to look at another girl while she was gone. Because none of them mattered to me. It was only this special one that mattered. She was the only one that will ever matter to me, even if I didn’t matter to her.
For our English final, we even had to do this essay. It was our choice which topic to write about. So of course, being the ‘romantic’ guy I now was, I just had to do it about the emotions we feel when we’re in love. And how exhilarating yet frightening it is to be in love.
With Evelyn, it was like trying out new things. It was fun, exciting, and of course, sometimes scary. But the scariest part was that I’d end up losing her later on.
I was so in love with her.
And I still am.
I just hoped she still felt the exact same way I did.
• Evelyn •
The time spent at the Orphanage wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. They loved the fact that I was back (totally a lie there), and they actually thought that they could treat me the same way they had years ago. But no. I didn’t allow it because I was my own damn person and I didn’t need to live by any of their pathetic rules, even if I did live there. How is it that a place like that could be filled with such pathetic people though?
I really despised that place. I had actually found out that nobody knew where my parents were. They left me here because they had me at a very young age, and they had no job or any way to take care of me and raise me. That didn’t really make me sad, but I was glad I actually found out something after years of wondering.
As expected, I ended up in trouble a lot while I was there but tons of people there were on my side, so I wasn’t alone. I tried my very best to treat them nicely and help out as well, so they wouldn’t end up like me.
The thought of Zavier made me do a lot of good things and I was glad. I even stopped doing things like smoking and drinking and stealing stuff.
But nah, I’ll never stop kicking somebody’s ass if it ever needed to be done. That was one of my best skills and of course I couldn’t waste it.
I missed my teddy bear like crazy though. The thought of him not only made me do good things, but it also helped me get through each day until it was finally my time to leave.
I expected to leave by myself, or even have Drake close by to pick me up. But this world was just so full of surprises wasn't it?
First, Drake did become an undercover cop during the time I was away. Huge shocker for me and everyone else.
Second, Zavier’s mother was the one who was there to pick me up when I got out. Of course, she was still not on my good side. I doubt we’d ever have back that relationship we had before. And when I saw her, I just got suspicious. What was she there for? To take me away yet again so I wouldn’t ever have to see her perfect son? Please!
When I walked toward her, I rolled my eyes and began to tell her everything I wasn’t able to tell her before. When I had to leave, I said nothing because I didn’t want to keep on fighting if it didn’t make any difference. So I stayed quiet. Now? They couldn’t do shit to me.
“Okay, what the hell are you doing here? I don’t want to see you.”
She sighed and only shrugged. “I’m here to take you back.”
I laughed and tightly gripped my bags. “Back? Back where? You aren’t my guardian. You aren’t my friend. And you certainly aren’t someone who matters to me. So I suggest you move along and let me be. I’m sure your son has been completely fine without someone bad like me.”
“Evelyn, I’m here to take you back to New Jersey.”
For a few seconds, I actually believed her since she delivered this news with a straight face. But then I laughed again and shook my head.
“Okay, I don’t understand you. First, you’re this cool person that helps me out with the problems I have. Because yes, I’ve come to realize that I have a shitload of problems. But then, when I got shot, you randomly turn into this type of person I hate trying to break two people up because of ‘something that happened to you.’ And now what? Are you trying to make me forgive you? Because I can assure you, that won’t be happening anytime soon, all right?”
I had nothing else to say after that, so I just started walking away, hearing her heels clicking against the pavement behind me. It only caused me to groan, roll my eyes, and walk faster.
But she just kept on yapping.
“I was wrong, Evelyn. I was really, really wrong. And I shouldn’t even try to break two people up because what you two have is special. I know that because for these past few months, Zavier hasn’t even acknowledged me, or barely acknowledged me. It was the fact that you had to come back here that made him hate me and almost everything around him. Sometimes, he would just give me an attitude, asking me if I was happy. He was going to school, focusing, doing everything he needed to do, and they accepted him into the college he wanted to go to. And I’m happy for that.” Her next words caused me to stop walking. “But I realized he was only ever happy with you.”
I slowly began to turn right then and my glare seemed to be going away, though it was
slightly still there.
“Which is why I’m taking you back. Apart from the drugs and the smoking and some other things you’ve done, you’re actually a really great person deep down and I do see that. I just didn’t know what had gotten into me back at the hospital.”
I averted my eyes a little and thought about it.
I still didn’t like what she had done back there but if she was really being honest with me, then I was going to try and listen to her. But I had one condition for her.
And it’s actually how I ended up coming back to New Jersey with Ian and Darrel. I had asked Drake to come with us, but he had a surprise. He was engaged, and he had become an undercover cop. So he had his reasons to stay and I respected that.
He was definitely inviting me to the wedding though.
But anyway, that was how I ended up surprising my teddy bear. And here I was now, finally in his warm embrace that I have come to love and missed so much. It definitely felt like home.
When I pulled away from him, I fought the urge to kiss those soft, sweet lips of his that I had dreamed about for several weeks. Our noses were almost touching, so our lips were just a breath away. When he looked deep into my eyes and softly stroked my cheek, I smiled and walked back a few steps.
I took a look around his room and smiled at the thought of how it used to be, filled with geeky and nerdy things. Now they were just in cardboard boxes. So it meant he was leaving very soon.
“So you’re going to Harvard, huh?”
He bit his lip and looked at some of the boxes, giving me that adorable smile that showed off his one dimple that was shaped just like a jellybean. “Uh, yeah.” He looked down at his watch. “Leaving today, actually. Just need to get these down to the car.”
“What are you going to study there?”
“Mostly Politics and Economics. Government kind of stuff. I… it’d probably bore you but…”
“I think you’d be great at that kind of stuff,” I said to him, looking around again and remembering all the things that happened in here. Damn! Time just flies by.