“Water is good.” She answered following him into the kitchen. She took a seat on a barstool at the island and looked around. His kitchen wasn’t as large as hers, but it was newly remodeled with stainless steel appliances, white cabinets and black granite countertops, including on the island.
He opened two bottles and handed one to her while he took a swig from the other.
“Oh, and before I forget, you’ll need this.” He dug in his pocket and handed her his spare key. “If you’re going to stay here for a while, you’ll need it. Jackson is picking you up in the morning and I’m not sure what time I’ll be home.”
“Thanks.” She accepted the key and stuck it in her pocket.
“Would you like a quick tour?”
“Please.”
“You’ve seen the living room and the kitchen.” He said, gesturing broadly at the open space. He led her to a short hallway to the right. “Guest bedroom.” He opened the first door on the left and she poked her head in briefly. “Guest bathroom.” He opened the door on the opposite side of the hall and she repeated the cursory inspection.
He led her down to the end of the hall and opened the other two doors. “Gym and laundry room.”
“Very nice.” She commented as he closed the doors and led her across the living room to a shorter hallway. He opened the door on the right and showed her his office before leading her to the end of the hallway to the master suite.
“And this is the man-cave.” He smiled. This time she stepped fully inside and wandered around the large room. His king sized bed took up the center of the far wall with a nightstand on either side. He had an overstuffed leather chair and a small table tucked beneath the window to the right and a wardrobe stood in the corner by the door.
She opened the door on the left side of the room and took in the large shower and double sink vanity all done in grey slate tile.
“This room is huge.” She said, crossing over to the bed. She ran her hand along the bedspread, one of the few colorful items in the room. He’d picked it because he’d read somewhere that blue was supposed to be soothing and the pattern was a simple trellis design that wasn’t too boring or too feminine.
“It’s a little sparse.” She added, pushing on the mattress as if testing the firmness.
“Yeah, another leftover from the Army. Not used to… decorating.” He cringed. She laughed and he tried not to dwell on how good -- how right -- it felt seeing her in his bedroom, and he tried not to imagine how feckin’ much he wanted to see her in his bed right now, preferably naked and screaming his name.
A knock on the front door saved him from himself. He left her there and paid for the pizza, all the while berating himself for having no control. He needed to talk to her and it wasn’t going to be easy or comfortable. But after what happened, she needed to know. He just prayed she’d let him explain.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Connor seemed a little tense while they ate. She couldn’t blame him. Alexandra was practically a ball of nerves after the events of the last 48 hours. She wanted to go home. She wanted the comfort of her routine and her space, but she knew why that wasn’t a possibility.
She also found that she liked being here with Connor, in his natural habitat. She also found that she was actually looking forward to spending time here with him. She just hoped that he was okay with it. She hated to think that he’d made the offer out of professional obligation. He’d never invited her over before, and it made her a little anxious to think that this might be uncomfortable for him.
He had even mentioned staying with her dad. Maybe that had been his way of suggesting it. Maybe he didn’t really want her here, but he just didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She wiped her hands on her napkin and finished the last of her water, trying to calm herself down and prevent a major downward spiral.
“You okay?” He asked. Dammit, how does he know?
“Yeah.” She nodded. “I was just thinking, I don’t want to be in your way. Are you sure you don’t mind me staying here?”
“Course.” He said, taking her hand from across the table. “No place I’d rather have you than here with me.”
He looked so earnest that she believed him.
“Okay.” She gave him a small smile. Something unreadable crossed his features and she was suddenly nervous again. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.” He stood up, clearing away their plates. “Why don’t you get comfortable in the living room while I clean up?”
She settled into a corner of the sofa, tucking her feet up beneath her. It was late afternoon but she was jet-lagged and exhausted. She suddenly wished she had a cozy blanket so she could curl up right there and go to sleep. She must have dozed off, even without the blanket, because the next time she opened her eyes it was dark out.
Connor sat beside her, and her feet were resting in his lap. He was staring absently into space, a beer in his hand.
“Sorry. I must have fallen asleep.”
“You needed it.” He said, leaning forward and setting his drink down on the coffee table. He looked tense, brooding.
“Something wrong?” She asked, sitting up. He put his arm around her and gathered her to his side. She placed a hand on his chest and leaned her head against his shoulder.
“There are some things you need to know.” His tone sent a frisson of fear down her spine.
“About what?”
“About your stalker.”
She swallowed hard, but encouraged him to continue. “Okay, so tell me.”
He reached over to the coffee table and picked up a piece of paper and handed it to her. “That was left on my car the day Archie came by. I found it when I walked him out.”
She took the note and tried, and failed, to keep her hands from shaking.
You can’t save her…
No one will save you… She’d forgotten. She’d forgotten how Lucas had sneered at her when she’d screamed while he’d raped and beaten her. How could she have forgotten that? Other details were so permanently seared into her memory that she would never forget them. Apparently other things had slipped away in the shock and chaos of that night.
“Alexandra, what is it?” Connor framed her face in his hands and looked at her, searching.
“It’s him.” It was barely more than a breath.
“Fuck.” Connor said. His voice had a violent edge and there was murder in his eyes. They were so dark that they looked like chips of obsidian rather than the usual brilliant sapphires. They were cold and hard and glittering with barely contained fury. He looked very capable of killing someone. For her. It was terrifying and comforting. “Tell me.” He urged. Recognizing that something had convinced her.
“He said something… that night. Something very similar. He told me no one would save me. It’s him, Connor. I know it’s him.” She was shaking and she couldn’t keep her voice steady.
“Proof enough for me.” Connor gave her a quick kiss before he picked up his cell phone and dialed. Someone answered quickly. “Put a tail on Whitmore and the cousin. I want to know where he is every second of every day.” He ended the call and set the phone aside.
Alexandra was still reeling from the note and the buried memory unearthed by it’s contents that it took her a few long minutes for her sluggish brain to point out that something significant had just happened. Something she should focus on.
Suddenly it was like her brain was awake again.
“Who was that?” She asked, her breath was coming quickly now. She was going to panic, but not before she got the answers she needed.
“Sam.” Connor answered, examining her closely.
“You told him?”
“Lex--”
“Who else, Connor?” Her voice sounded hysterical, desperate, even to herself. She didn’t care. It felt like the walls were closing in and the sky was falling.
“Lex, you had to know he’d be a suspect.” He said calmly. “I had Sam track him. I was following a solid lead.” His eyes were hesitant, war
y. “I’ve also considered taking him out from a thousand yards and doing humanity a favor.” He muttered under his breath.
“Did you tell Archie?” She asked, her voice shaking. He put a hand on her arm and she jerked away instinctively. She was too raw, too vulnerable to be touched.
“Lex…”
“Who else?” She couldn’t look at him. She focused on the pattern of the throw pillow at the far end of the couch.
“Lass, look at me.”
“Who. Else.” She gritted out between clenched teeth.
“Archie already knew.” He said quietly.
“How?”
“The same way I did.” He sighed. “Your father gave me his name the morning we met.” Alexandra was too stunned to respond so he continued. “I gave a very basic version of the story to Sam, Jackson and Parker. They needed to know what he looked like and who he was in case he ever came near you. I know you--”
“You knew.” She hissed. “All along, you knew. And you told them? You had no right! That was private. I get to decide who knows.”
She stood up and headed for the sneakers she’d left by the door. He cut her off, but wisely didn’t touch her.
“You can’t leave, Lex. You can’t go anywhere by yourself, especially now. If you want to go to your Dad’s I’ll take you there, but you can’t go out alone.”
Her father… She’d deal with him later. She didn’t even want to think about him, let alone see him.
“Please, just talk to me.” Connor begged.
“I can’t. I can’t talk to you. I can’t look at you.” Alexandra whispered. She swiped at the deluge of tears cascading down her face and turned away.
She marched down the hallway and went into the guest bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind her. A moment later she heard him knocking.
“Alexandra. Please listen to me. I understand why you’re upset. But they needed to know. I trust them with this, Lex. They’re not going to tell anyone who doesn’t absolutely need to know.”
He trusted them? That was his excuse for sharing the most deeply painful and personal thing about her with three other people without even consulting her about it? He couldn’t have just asked her? Or even given her a heads up? How long had they known? Had they been pitying her all this time, and she didn’t even know it?
And her father. How could he not tell her something like this? How could he betray her trust without any warning?
“Lex?” He sounded so concerned she was tempted to let him in. At least long enough to read him the riot act.
This. This was why she was so careful. This was why she guarded her emotions so carefully. Her family had been through hell after her attack. Every ounce of pain she’d felt was reflected back at her in three pairs of eyes. Three worried, haunted faces staring back at her every day, in addition to the one in the mirror.
That concern-- that pity -- made the hurt worse. She couldn’t undo what had been done to her, but she didn’t want to spread the misery she’d suffered like some damn virus infecting everyone who touched her. She’d told Connor because she needed him to understand her boundaries and she thought she could trust him. He’d handled her panic attack without making her feel pathetic or weak. She knew he had his own demons and she thought he would understand.
But now she didn’t know how she’d look any of them in the eye. She’d be too afraid to see that damn look in their eyes. And Archie, oh God. She had to work with him.
“Alexandra.” The concern was still there, but it was now tinged with something… anger? Irritation? Frustration?
Well, back at ya, buddy.
“I’m fine.” She snapped.
“Let me in. Please?”
“No.” She said flatly. She just couldn’t right now. Couldn’t think. Could barely breathe.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Fine.” She growled. “But I’m going to sleep.” She unhooked her bra and pulled it out one sleeve, stripped out of her jeans and climbed into the guest bed. The sheets were chilly but soft, and she snuggled down under the comforter and focused on her breathing. She sent some texts, set her alarm and tried to sleep.
She could still hear Connor shuffling around in the halway, and she tried to ignore him. She tried to think about it rationally, but she couldn’t see past the hurt and the humiliation. Tears stung her eyes and she let them come, too tired to fight them off. Eventually sleep took her, and mercifully she didn’t dream.
✽✽✽
Connor didn’t sleep until he knew Alexandra was sleeping. She hadn’t bolted, but he was still afraid to go to bed in case she needed him, or in case she decided to slip out in the middle of the night. He knew she was mad, but even if she decided she never wanted to see him again after this whole mess was over, he damn well wasn’t going to let her leave here unprotected. He just hoped it wouldn’t come to that. He hoped she would see reason enough to forgive him, even if it meant groveling.
Instead, he turned on the TV, with the volume down low, and stretched out on the couch. He was used to sleeping anywhere and everywhere, and he’d certainly gotten plenty of shut-eye sleeping on dirt floors and Army cots that one night on the couch wasn’t a hassle. He wasn’t a deep sleeper so from here he’d know if she came out of the guest room.
Anxiety was a trigger for him, so he didn’t really relish the idea of sleep anyway. He was sure the nightmares would come. He must have dozed at some point in the early morning, because the next thing he knew the sun was rising. He scrubbed his hands over his face, reminding himself where he was.
He heard one door open and close and then another. Alexandra was up and apparently in the guest bathroom. He rolled off the couch and headed into the kitchen to make coffee. Once that was brewing, he went into his bedroom long enough to brush his teeth.
When the coffee was done, he fixed a cup for Alexandra, poured one for himself and settled in to wait. And wait. And wait.
He was about to check on her to make sure everything was okay when there was a knock on his door. He checked to see who it could be at this time of day and swore under his breath.
“What are you doing here so early?” He asked anxiously as he opened the door. Jackson frowned and gave him a confused look.
“I got a text asking me to come this early. Seven on the dot.” He checked his watch to make sure it was correct.
“I--”
“Oh, good. You’re here.” Alexandra said, breezing into the living room. “Just let me get my things.” She kept walking right into the hallway, disappearing into Connor’s bedroom.
“Just a sec.” Connor said, dashing after her. She already had her suitcase and was wheeling it out the door when he stopped her. Her hair was wet from the shower and she wore the same t-shirt and jeans that she’d worn all day yesterday. “Where are you going?”
“To Janie’s to drop off my bag and get ready, then I’m going to work.” Her response was cool and he realized she’d donned her lawyerly facade. Emotionless, impassive.
“We need to talk about this.”
“Do we?” She said, cocking her head to the side and affecting an innocent expression. “I can’t go home so I’ve made other arrangements. Janie’s apartment is closer to the office so I assume it won’t make much of a difference in terms of travel time for Parker or Jackson or Sam.” She shrugged and moved to brush past him.
“Don’t go cold on me now.” Connor said softly.
“What?” Her eyes flashed, but it was quickly gone, replaced by bland indifference.
“Don’t shut yourself off. Not from me. Yell at me, fight with me, hell punch me if you want. Just don’t go cold.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her chin went up stubbornly and she shoved past him.
Connor had a choice. He could either keep her here and try to break through the walls she’d thrown up with brute force, or he could let her go, give her some time to cool off and hope that reason would eat away at them a little bit before he had a crac
k at them.
He took a deep breath and followed her to the door without a word. She practically walked through Jackson on her way out the door, but luckily he’d had the presence of mind to step aside lest he be trampled. She stood in the hallway waiting for the elevator while Jackson gave him a quizzical look.
“What the fuck did you do, man?” Jackson asked, bewildered.
“Just keep her safe.” Connor growled. Jackson looked at Alexandra and then back at him before giving him a quick nod. Connor waited until the elevator doors had closed behind them before he slammed the door and swore. This was going to be a long day.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Thank God for Janie. Alexandra wanted to hug her when she walked in and Janie immediately handed her a mug of coffee with tons of cream and sugar.
“So what’s going on?” Janie asked, casually sipping her own coffee. No judgment, no worry. She wore a plain pink tank top and a pair of fuzzy pajama bottoms. Alexandra could just see her red painted toenails poking out beneath the hems. Her hair was in honest-to-God hot rollers.
“Connor and I had a fight. I spent last night sleeping in the guest bedroom at his place, but I couldn’t stand to stay another second this morning.” Alexandra sighed.
“What happened?” Janie looked curious, but again, no poor thing or oh, no in sight.
“It’s complicated.” Alexandra dismissed. “Mind if I stay here for a few days?”
“Not that I mind, but why can’t you go home?”
“Oh.” Alexandra blinked. Shit. “Someone broke one of my windows. I don’t
feel comfortable staying there until I get it fixed.”
“Shit. Was anything taken? Was it like a break-in?”
“Not that I know of. It happened when I was in London. My security company checked it out and there was nothing obviously missing, but I won’t know for sure until I check it out myself.” It was mostly the truth.
“Damn. That sucks. Will insurance cover it?”
“Yeah. I’ll have to call them today.”
“I’ll make a note of it.”
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