by Wolf, Bree
His alone.
If only she would dare open her heart to him.
As impatient as he felt, Matthew knew that he needed to wait. Even now he could see that she was relaxing in her seat. Her hands uncurled, and the line of her jaw was soft and not clenched with tension. Her eyes were gentle, even joyful, as she gazed at him from across the carriage, and Matthew knew that even small steps would eventually lead him to her heart.
It might take time.
But she was worth it.
Despite his own unease at these social events, Matthew felt like the most fortunate man in the world when he led his wife into the ballroom, her delicate hand resting on his arm, holding to him tightly as though she trusted no one but him to see her safe.
Smiling, he gazed down at her. “I admit I was never fond of these occasions,” he whispered, feeling her lean in closer to hear. “My father often insisted I attend whenever the opportunity arose in order to cement my standing among the peers.” He sighed, thinking it might have been a mistake to speak of his father as his own mood immediately fell. “If only I had known what had been on his mind.”
Stopping, his wife looked at him, her eyes searching his. “No one can know what truly lives in another’s heart. He was your father. Are we truly wrong not to expect our fathers to plan evil things for our future? Are we to blame to not have seen it coming?”
Matthew shook his head, his other hand coming to rest on hers. “We are not,” he whispered. “However, knowing that does not hold at bay the guilt that I feel is inevitable. I cannot help but regret what happened, and I have found that regret and guilt often walk hand in hand.”
Sighing, his wife nodded. “We always wonder what we could have done differently if we could have prevented the outcome if only we had been more attentive.”
For a long moment, they stood in the middle of the large room. Couples moved around them, their voices rising to the tall ceiling as music filled the air, mingling with the aromas of tonight’s supper. And yet, Matthew could have sworn they were alone in the world.
“There you are,” a familiar voice exclaimed, jerking them from the place they had retreated to. “For a moment, I had thought my eyes were deceiving me.”
Sighing, Matthew turned from his wife to greet his cousin. “Good evening, Tristan, Beth. How are you tonight?”
“Splendid,” his cousin replied, exchanging a meaningful glance with his wife. Then he turned to greet Adelaide. “My lady, you look stunning tonight, which explains how you managed to lure my cousin away from the solitude of his home.” He winked at Matthew good-naturedly. “It’s been a while since we’ve seen you at an event like this.”
Matthew sighed, avoiding his cousin’s gaze. “I saw no need to attend.”
“And you do now?”
Glaring at Tristan, Matthew inhaled a deep breath. “Everything is different now,” he replied, unwilling to explain himself further. Not here. Not in public. “My wife deserves a night of dancing.”
As Adelaide looked up at him, Matthew knew that she, too, would have preferred to stay home as these events only reminded her of her father’s attempts to marry her off.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Tristan commented before his eyes turned to the woman by his side. “We’re here for the same reason.”
Beth laughed, “Quite frankly, it was I who dragged him here tonight.” Tristan rolled his eyes as she placed a gentle hand on his arm. “Tonight is a special occasion for us.” She grinned at her husband with such longing delight that Matthew felt his heart stir with envy. “One year ago today,” she said, smiling at him and Adelaide, “was the day we first met. The perfect reason to celebrate.”
“That is wonderful,” Adelaide said beside him, her gaze glowing with emotions as she looked at Beth and Tristan. “Congratulations.”
Matthew wondered if she felt the same longing to find what they had already claimed as theirs. His hand squeezed hers gently, and when she looked up at him, Matthew could almost believe that in a year from now, they, too, would be equally happy as Tristan and Beth.
Would that day come? Would there be a time when Adelaide would look at him the way Beth looked at Tristan? When he, Matthew, was the one to make her look exceptionally beautiful−and not simply by annoying her? But by making her happy?
Watching Tristan and Beth walk away toward the dance floor arm in arm, Matthew inhaled a deep breath, then turned to his wife. “Would you like to dance?” he asked, noting the way her eyes seemed distant and focused on something across the room.
Following her line of sight, Matthew could not see anyone he knew. “Did you see someone you wish to speak to?” he asked, his eyes narrowing as he took note of the slight paleness that had come to her cheeks.
Her eyes were still distant as she shook her head. “No, no one,” she mumbled before her gaze returned to his, but only for a moment. Then it dropped to her hand still resting on his arm and she drew in a shuddering breath.
“Are you all right?” Matthew asked, wishing he could see her eyes. “Are you unwell?”
“I’m fine,” she replied, her voice weak and her gaze firmly fixed on the ground.
Not knowing what had brought on this sudden change in her, Matthew reached out to her before he could stop himself. His fingers grasped her chin gently, and he felt her tense, but not pull away. Lifting her gaze to his, he looked deep into her eyes, wishing he could read her mind, wishing he could know what had rattled her so. “You can tell me,” he whispered, wishing she would believe him. “I will be there for you. Always. No matter what.”
A soft smile came to her lips. A smile that warmed his heart, and yet, she said, “It’s nothing.”
Forcing himself to ignore the small barrier that had once more risen between them, Matthew renewed his invitation to dance, and this time, she accepted it without hesitation.
As they stood up together, Matthew remembered his promise to her, and as the dance led them together, he gently stepped on her toes.
His wife’s mouth opened, and she stared at him. But only for a moment as her shock over his action no longer lasted as it had in the beginning. Only a moment passed before her eyes narrowed, shooting daggers at him. “Will you ever stop teasing me?”
The harshness in her voice brought a smile to Matthew’s face, and he felt himself relax. “Give me a reason to, my lady. Get angry.”
Her gaze studied his face for a moment. “What reason would I have to do so? After all, you’ve done nothing that would deserve my anger. What you do is merely…annoying.”
“I see,” Matthew mumbled as his steps led him closer to her. “If that is so, then I fear my endeavour is doomed to fail for I would not dare cross that line. I enjoy your company far too much to incite true anger.”
“As do I, my lord,” she said smiling and with such open honesty that for a moment Matthew forgot to move. Another gentleman bumped into him, jarring him from his stupor.
“Are you all right?” his wife asked, her pale blue eyes full of concern as she pulled him aside, away from the dancing couples. “You look pale.”
Shaking his head in disbelief, Matthew smiled. “I am perfectly fine…now.”
Understanding came to her eyes, and for a moment she dropped her gaze, her hands trembling. “I cannot remember,” she whispered, her eyes still firmly fixed on the tips of her shoes, “ever having felt so much at peace as I do now,” her gaze rose to meet his, “with you.”
Staring down at her, Matthew swallowed.
“You would not hurt me, would you?” she whispered as though her words were not meant for him, but only to remind her of what she already knew but did not dare believe.
“Never,” Matthew said, answering her nonetheless, hoping that she eventually would believe him if he promised her often enough. “You’re safe with me.”
Tears came to her eyes as she held his gaze. “I never knew what that meant,” she whispered, her voice choked, “but I’m starting to learn.”
Gently, Matthew
took her hands in his, feeling her tremble as he held her close. “Do not rush yourself,” he whispered, finding her hands chilled. “There is time. Take all the time you need. I will be patient.”
A soft smile drew up the corners of her mouth. “I do not doubt you.”
At her words, Matthew’s heart soared into the sky, and he knew that as long as she would remain by his side, it would never fall.
Chapter Twenty-Three – A Truth Revealed
The day after the ball, Lady Elton and her husband called on them at the house.
Adelaide was happy to see them as their marriage was becoming the one that she began to think of as the marriage. Certainly, there were all kinds of different marriages. As different as people were as different were the marriages they entered into. Still, all her life, Adelaide had looked to her parents to see how the world worked.
And it had frightened her.
Now, however, everything was changing. Never would she have thought to marry a man who was as kind and considerate as her new husband. Certainly, his insistence to annoy or even anger her was actually starting to annoy her, but she knew that it came from a good place. He was trying to help her, to make her see that she need not live in fear, that she could be herself and not be punished for it.
The only question was: who was she?
For so long, Adelaide had adapted her character to suit those around her that she hardly knew who she was deep inside. It was time to find out.
And so, she looked to Lady Elton and her husband for inspiration. The way they acted around one another was inspiring to say the least, and here and there, Adelaide rejoiced in seeing similarities between their marriage and her own.
“It is good to see you,” her husband greeted his cousin as they sat down in the drawing room. His eyes narrowed as his gaze travelled back and forth between Lord and Lady Elton. “You two seem exceptionally happy,” he observed, and Adelaide sat back to study their faces. Indeed, there was a new glow in Lady Elton’s eyes, and the way husband and wife exchanged glances here and there spoke volumes.
“We are,” Lord Elton intoned, his hand reaching for his wife’s, squeezing it gently, “and as we are family and I am particularly fond of you, dear cousin, we have come to share our good news with you.”
Matthew chuckled, and Adelaide smiled, feeling herself grow more and more comfortable with these people, people who now truly were her family. It was a comforting thought!
“Do not tease him,” Lady Elton chided her husband. Then she inhaled a deep breath and said, “We are happy to say that come autumn we will be welcoming a new little life into our family.” Wide grins hung on their faces as they looked from Adelaide to her husband.
“That is wonderful!” Matthew exclaimed, rising to his feet and hugging his cousin. “Congratulations! You’ll be a great father. I have no doubt.” Their faces sobered suddenly, and Adelaide thought to see a deeper meaning pass between them.
“Allow me to offer my congratulations as well,” Adelaide said to Lady Elton as the men stood over to the side, speaking to each other in quiet tones. “You must be very happy indeed.”
Lady Elton smiled, a deep sigh leaving her lips. “I’m deliriously happy, yes.” She rose from the seat she had taken next to her husband and came to sit with Adelaide. “Only this morning we received a letter from Henrietta−my husband’s sister−saying that she and her husband are expecting as well.” Another sigh rose from Lady Elton’s throat. “I think it will be wonderful to have our firstborns be of the same age.”
“That is truly wonderful,” Adelaide said, finding her gaze shift to her husband. Would they ever have children? She wondered, remembering his intention of asking her for a kiss. Her cheeks warmed at the thought, and she realised that the prospect of being intimate with her husband was no longer a duty, a threat even−as it once had been before she had learnt what a truly good man he was. No, it was slowly becoming a temptation, and she found herself wondering more often these days when he would finally ask for her kiss.
After all, she had no intention whatsoever of refusing him.
“You have come to care for him, have you not?” Lady Elton observed, a soft smile on her face as she watched Adelaide.
Unable to hide her smile, Adelaide sighed, “I’m afraid I could not help it. He is…” Again, she sighed, feeling her words would fall far short of what she was coming to know in her heart.
Lady Elton nodded knowingly. “I’m so relieved to hear you say so. I−”
“Shall we call for champagne?” Adelaide’s husband asked as he and Lord Elton stepped closer. “To toast your wonderful news?”
Lady Elton’s brows crinkled at the interruption. “Quite frankly, my dear,” she said to her husband, “I find myself quite bored with your company at present and wish to speak to Lady Whitworth in peace. Would you mind…?” Grinning, she nodded toward the door.
Smiling, Lord Elton shook his head. “It is always good to know what you truly think of me, my dear.”
Lady Elton rolled her eyes rather theatrically, and despite her usual constraint, Adelaide found herself laughing with the others. Her eyes met her husband’s, and she returned his smile, feeling as though there truly were a certain intimacy between them. One that did not need words as she knew exactly that he, too, was reminded of their own teasing banter. Never would Adelaide have thought she would ever know what such a deep connection felt like.
And now, here she was, merely at the beginning of her journey, surprised how promising her future suddenly looked.
If only−
“Let’s go, Matt,” Lord Elton said, striding toward the door as he cast another meaningful glance at his wife over his shoulder. “The ladies have no need for us at present. Let’s find someone else to celebrate with.”
“What do you suggest?” Matthew asked as he followed his cousin, his own gaze gliding back to Adelaide one last time, a soft smile curling up his lips.
“White’s?”
“Lead the way.”
And then the door closed behind them, and Lady Elton sank back against the settee. “I love him dearly,” she laughed, “but he does need to learn how to take a hint.”
“You two look very happy,” Adelaide observed as her gaze returned from the door through which her husband had just left.
A teasing grin played on Lady Elton’s lips. “As do you, I must say.” Patting Adelaide’s hand, she asked, “How is everything between you and Matthew?”
Adelaide sighed, “I’m not sure I have the words…”
“You look like a different woman now,” Lady Elton said in her usual direct way. “I’ve never seen you so much at ease, and yet, so daring. Is it because of him?”
Adelaide nodded, a chuckle rising from her throat. “He insists on teaching me how to be angry,” she laughed. “He teases me in the most annoying way, and he−”
“But you love it,” Lady Elton interrupted, a knowing look in her eyes.
Adelaide shrugged. “Is that wrong? I never used to get angry, not like others do. Certainly, there were many occurrences that would elicit that emotion; however, I never entertained it. What good would it have done? It would only have led to further problems.”
“There is nothing wrong with being angry,” Lady Elton stressed, her eyes knowing as they held Adelaide’s. “Anger is a part of life, and you’re perfectly right to express it. I’m glad you finally feel safe enough to do so. I’ve always wondered and worried about your lack of emotions. The way you always shrank into the background and tried to become invisible.” Smiling, Lady Elton squeezed her hand. “It’s no way to live, and that is−I believe−what Matthew is trying to teach you, to stand tall and not bow your head.”
“I’m beginning to see that.” A smile tugged on Adelaide’s lips as she thought of her husband, of the many times he had teased her, urging her to feel. And he had succeeded. She did feel. More than just anger. What she was beginning to feel was something she had dreamed of as a little girl, but then abandoned a
s reality had taught her a harsh truth. Never would she have thought to be able to reclaim the hopes and dreams that had been hers before the harshness of the world had ripped them from her. But now she had hope again, and she was slowly coming to trust it…not fear it.
“You care for him deeply, do you not?”
Blinking, Adelaide found Lady Elton looking at her, her blue eyes gentle as she smiled. “I don’t know when it happened,” Adelaide whispered, shocked at the realisation that had so suddenly come to her in a moment when she had least expected it, “but it is true.” A smile claimed her lips. “I cannot deny that it’s true, nor do I want to.” Grasping Lady Elton’s hands, Adelaide sighed. “Thank you so much for everything you have done. You’ve always been there for me, protecting me.”
Lady Elton grinned. “So, you don’t mind my meddling?”
Laughing, Adelaide shook her head. “Not at all. You saved me from my father and brought Matthew into my life.”
“Matthew? Do you call him by his given name?”
Adelaide shook her head. “I do not.” Her gaze remained on Lady Elton’s, asking for advice.
“I believe you should,” the young woman said. “I cannot imagine that he would mind. In fact, I suspect he’d be overjoyed.”
Adelaide sighed, a new warmth flooding her being, and she wished her husband were here so that she could call him by his given name right this minute. Instead of his kind, melodious voice, however, another one suddenly echoed through the closed doors of the drawing room. This one was far from kind, but rather harsh and filled with anger.
Lady Elton frowned. “Are you expecting anyone?” she asked, her blue eyes darting to the door before they narrowed, and a hint of suspicion came to her face.
Adelaide could not answer. Her body froze, and her voice remained locked in her throat as her being responded in the only way it had ever known to the threat that had always loomed over her life. Before her mind had even formed a conscious thought, her heart knew who had come to call.