by Kaylie Kay
‘Well I’m sorry to hear about it, but I’m glad you’re ok.’ Olivia felt her sympathy wane slightly as she thought of Sarah. Claire pulled out the seat and sat down opposite her. ‘I have to go.’
‘Ok.’ Tom sounded sad. ‘Olivia, I miss you.’
She wanted to say it back, because she missed him too, but the words wouldn’t come out. She pressed the red button and ended the call.
‘Everything ok?’ her friend asked, and Olivia filled her in on what had happened.
‘It’s not your problem, hun, not your job to be there to support him anymore.’
Olivia wished she could be as strong as her friend wanted her to be.
‘Right, shall I order the wine,’ said Steve cheerily as he returned to the table.
‘Yep,’ replied Olivia without hesitation.
Olivia stared out of the window at the murky water of the Thames snaking through London. The view was amazing, without a cloud in the way, and she lost herself for a while as she spotted the landmarks that were dotted along the river. The Millennium Dome, the London Eye, Westminster, all stood so grand and imposing. Olivia wished that they would never land; she had felt so detached from it all these last few days, and enjoyed the trip so much.
The plane turned back towards the runway and as London’s Finery disappeared behind them the city sprawled out to its boundaries. The motorway looked busy. she thought, before remembering that she was driving home with Claire so it didn’t matter if it took a long time, she would have company. Perhaps it was the fact that she hadn’t been on her own with her thoughts these last few days that had made her feel stronger.
The weary passengers shuffled slowly past Olivia at her door and she gave them a weak smile as she bade them farewell. She wondered how many of them were going back to their happy family lives, how many had no one, and she felt sad again. Her break was over and she had a feeling that the week ahead would be a difficult one.
Please call me as soon as you can. Tom’s message appeared as soon as she turned her phone on. She put it back in her bag and boarded the bus to the car park with the rest of her crew that had driven to work.
‘Bye girls,’ waved Steve, heading off to the departures level to get his flight home to Sitges, near Barcelona. ‘Come visit me soon!’
They both blew him kisses back, promising they would take him up on his offer in the near future.
Just landed, can’t talk now. She texted him back quickly once she had sat down. Claire sat next to her, also tapping away on her phone, catching up with her own affairs.
Ok, can I see you later? Tom texted back immediately. She didn’t know if she was ready, and she suspected that seeing him on landing day wasn’t a good idea, but she couldn’t help feeling sad for him, and wondering how he was.
I’ll come round about 8, she replied, pressing send quickly before she changed her mind.
Thank you xxxxx
‘Everything ok?’ Claire must have heard her exhale loudly.
‘I just agreed to see Tom tonight, I’m not sure it’s a good idea on landing day.’ She looked at her friend, needing her opinion.
‘Probably not but get a sleep in now and see how you feel later.’ Olivia was grateful that her friend wasn’t too pushy, letting her make her own decisions, ready to pick up the pieces if it went wrong. They talked over things on the drive back, and Olivia knew by the time she climbed into bed for a nap that she would go over tonight, although she had no idea what she would say.
Chapter 59
It felt strange driving through those gates, and up to the house that didn’t feel like her home anymore. She knocked the door, not feeling that she could use her key, and heard Tom’s heavy footsteps approaching.
He looked awful. The dark circles that surrounded his eyes were testament to his lack of sleep, and his face looked drawn, almost gaunt. The numbness returned, masking any feelings that Olivia had, protecting her.
‘Thanks for coming.’ He looked so grateful, holding the door open for her. She could smell spices, like he had been cooking, which was confirmed moments later when he led her into the kitchen.
‘I thought you might be hungry,’ he said. In all of their time together Olivia had never known Tom to cook anything other than frozen food, but it smelt delicious, if only she were hungry. Two glasses sat on the side, and Tom poured wine into both, passing her one. Olivia’s instinct was to say no, knowing the effects of alcohol on landing day, but she thought he looked broken enough that she didn’t need to hurt him any more and took it graciously.
‘How was your flight?’ asked Tom, plating up the curry into two bowls and placing them on the table. She took a seat, wondering why she felt so uncomfortable.
‘Good, thanks.’
Tom sat opposite her but didn’t make any moves to eat his food.
‘Olivia, I miss you. What can I say to make you come back? I’m so sorry.’
Olivia looked down at her plate.
‘I don’t know.’ She didn’t, that was the truth.
‘I promise I will never ever look at another woman, I never did. I don’t know what happened, it was like I wasn’t in control, but I never even wanted it. I only ever wanted to be with you.’
Olivia thought he might cry, his eyes looked watery. Perhaps if it had just been once she could have forgiven him more easily, but it had been more and she didn’t know if she could get past that.
‘I don’t know, Tom, I think I need more time. I don’t know if I can forgive you.’ She felt bad for a moment as she watched his face crumple. The tears rolled down his cheeks.
‘I’ve lost everything.’
She had never seen a grown man sob before and she couldn’t help herself getting up and holding him. He held her arm that she had wrapped around him as he sat in his chair, and wiped his tears away, trying to pull himself together.
‘The office, it’s all gone, and they think the fire was started deliberately.’
Olivia sat back down and looked at him, waiting for him to say more.
‘They found traces of fuel, and reckon it looks like an arson attack. The police have sealed it off as a crime scene.’
‘Who would have done it?’ Olivia knew that Tom was thinking the same as her, but she couldn’t quite believe it, that she would have gone that far.
‘They wanted to know if I suspected anyone but I said no.’
‘What?’ Olivia felt anger rising.
‘I don’t know, I feel responsible. If it was her,’ he clearly couldn’t bring himself to say Sarah’s name, ‘then aren’t I partly responsible for making her go crazy?’
Tom and his bloody morals, something she had once admired about him, but now it incensed her.
‘No, Tom,’ she said loudly, unable to hide her anger. ‘Just because you fucked her doesn’t mean she can burn down your office, or send that awful
package for that matter. The girl is crazy.’
He nodded his head.
‘You’re right, I will tell them tomorrow, there’s no one else it can be.’
‘I can’t believe you hadn’t told them already,’ Olivia scolded him. ‘And what about the files? Had it all been backed up?’
‘Yes, thank God.’
‘Well that’s something, one piece of good news.’
‘There’s more.’ He shook his head, looking down at his plate. ‘The contract with the council has been pulled. They reckon I haven’t fulfilled my terms and have pulled the plug.’
‘But surely you were doing things right, you are always so thorough?’ Olivia was confused.
‘I haven’t got to the bottom of it but I suspect she has been busy in her new position there, making me look incompetent. Now I have an army of men to pay, at least until the next month, no jobs for them, and no money coming in. We could be ruined.’ He looked up at Olivia and his eyes glazed over again.
‘I’m sure you can sort it out. Get some sleep and look at it through fresh eyes tomorrow.’
Tom nodded sadly, too exha
usted to think sensibly.
‘And I’ve lost you.’
Olivia just looked at him but didn’t reply. She saw the shell of the man she once loved, and whilst she still cared she couldn’t help thinking he had brought it all on himself. How could she support him through this and be there for him when Sarah was at the bottom of it all, the one who he had made love to all those times while not thinking about her? In some ways it made her feel empowered to see that he was suffering. Why should she be the only one?
As she drove out of the gates later that evening she suspected that it was over. She let the tears flow but felt strangely calm. She never noticed the small red car that followed her all the way back to Claire’s.
Chapter 60
The last thing that Olivia remembered was the headlights blinding her. She woke up in her hospital bed wondering where on earth she was, and why her friend was sat in the plastic armchair next to her, snoring.
‘Claire?’
Her friend opened her eyes, glancing left and right before jumping up in her seat.
‘Olivia, thank God you’re awake, you had me worried.’
Olivia felt her head thumping and wondered if she was hungover, quickly deciding that she wasn’t, that this was definitely a hospital bed, in a small hospital room, and no hangover was that bad.
‘A hit and run, babe. Someone ran into you and left you out cold on the road outside mine.’ Olivia was speechless.
‘Do you remember anything?’
She thought hard, the image of the headlights and
a flash of red paint, the sound of screeching, and then nothing.
‘A red car, I think.’ She looked down at her body to see if she had been hurt, but couldn’t see any evidence of breakages despite the aches and pains. ‘Have I broken anything?’
‘No, hon, you had a full scan, just cuts and bruises.They were more worried about you being unconscious, but you came around briefly. I told them we’d just landed back from LA and you were probably just sleeping!’ Claire laughed.
‘Have you been asleep in that all night?’ Olivia looked at the plastic chair that was definitely not made for comfort.
‘Yep, see what a good friend I am, sleeping in a chair on landing day for you! Anyway I’ve phoned your mum, she’s on her way up. I had better go and tell the nurses that you’re awake.’ Claire got up, looking a little stiff. ‘Oh, and these guys want to speak to you.’
Olivia looked over to where Claire was pointing as two rather attractive uniformed policemen walked gingerly into the room.
Olivia couldn’t tell them much, but they seemed interested in the bit about the red car, asking her if she was definitely sure about the colour. Olivia wondered who on earth they had in mind; she didn’t know anyone who drove a red car herself. Maybe she had stepped out in front of it, she had parked as usual across the road from Claire’s after all.
The day passed in a flurry of visitors. She sent her friend home to get a decent sleep, and her mum stayed until dark before heading off to stay at Claire’s too. The nurses were pleased with her readings each time they came in to take them, but the doctor insisted that she stay in for one more night for monitoring. Just as she started to settle for the night, enjoying her first moment of peace that day, a knock on the door came, and it opened slowly.
First Sam and then Fiona walked in, looking like they had run her down themselves.
‘Olivia I am so sorry,’ said Fiona, still standing by the door, not coming any further into the room.
‘Was it you, Fiona? Did you do this to me?’ quipped Olivia, rolling her eyes theatrically.
Fiona looked at the floor and wrung her hands together. Sam put her arm around her sister’s shoulders and gently pulled her into the room, closing the door behind them.
‘Fiona needs to tell you something, Olivia.’ Sam looked grave as she pulled a chair forward and sat Fiona on it. ‘They’ve arrested Sarah, it was her who ran you down, and her who set fire to the office, it looks like.’
Olivia tried to take in what Sam was telling her. She wasn’t surprised by the fire, but the fact that she had actually tried to run her over, tried to kill her, that was way too much to get her head around, and why was Fiona looking so worried?
‘Fiona,’ prompted Sam, sternly.
‘I knew she was a bit nuts, but I had no idea how bad it was. I’m so sorry, Olivia, I should have told you what I knew when you asked.’ She leant forward with her head bowed.
‘Go on.’ It was all Olivia could say.
‘I knew she had had some trouble at home, that they wanted to send her here to get away from it, get a fresh start, but that was all I knew to begin with, honest.’ She looked up at Olivia. ‘But when you asked me if I could find out anything I’m afraid I lied to you. My friend did tell me she had caused big trouble at her dad’s firm, something to do with his business partner. She had an affair with him, it seems, and was blackmailing him, then her dad found out and sent her here while things calmed down. The man’s wife had wanted to call the police but Sarah’s parents talked her out of it. It seems Sarah was always a little unbalanced, had been in counselling since she was a teenager, and her parents felt guilty about it, blaming themselves.’
‘Why the hell didn’t you tell me, Fiona?’ Olivia wondered if she would have been able to stop any of it if she had known all of this then, or if it had already been too late.
‘I’m so sorry.’ Fiona looked at the floor again. ‘My friend made me promise not to, and I had no idea she was causing any trouble, you just said you thought she was sad.’
Olivia nodded. She was right, perhaps if she had been honest herself and told Fiona exactly what her concerns were she would have opened up more.
‘Her dad is booked on a flight to come over tomorrow, the poor family are in bits. I was supposed to look out for her and now they’ll be visiting her in jail.’ Fiona covered her face to hide her tears.
What a terrible mess it all was, thought Olivia. So many people’s lives ruined, including her own.
Sleep was evasive that night; Olivia couldn’t stop the images that flooded her thoughts. She could see Sarah’s face, expressionless as she drove the car at her, and the image of herself being thrown to the floor repeated itself as if on a loop in her mind. Olivia felt scared again, laying in her bed with her lights on, even though she was sure Sarah was locked away.
Are you ok? It was past midnight when Tom texted. Olivia was relieved to have someone to communicate with.
No. She wasn’t.
I’m coming over.
Despite everything that had happened Olivia couldn’t tell him not to come, because right now she needed him there. She was scared, it made her feel small and vulnerable, and she needed Tom’s strength right now. She thought for a moment that the nurses might not let him in as it was so late, but she knew that he would get to her.
What seemed like hours later, but was probably only forty minutes, the door opened and Tom appeared. He said nothing as he lay on the bed next to her and held her tightly. Olivia trembled as the anxiety and fear that she had tried to control came pouring out and he wept with her. They barely spoke, nothing needed to be said, but they found the comfort that they both needed right there in each other’s arms.
As daylight crept through the curtains the sounds of the rest of the ward waking up disturbed their slumber. A nurse came in to check on Olivia, followed shortly after by one of the policemen who had come the day before.
‘We’ve arrested someone.’
‘I know,’ Olivia replied. He didn’t need to tell her. He was interested to know how she had found out so quickly and she explained the connection, making sure that Sarah was locked away and not able to get to her again.
When the doctor came and told her that she could go home she didn’t argue with Tom when he told her mum and Claire, who were back with her, that he would take her. She wasn’t thinking of whether she was getting back with him, just that she needed him to protect her. Even her mum didn’t
say anything, just telling Olivia she could come to her when she wanted to. Olivia could see that Claire wanted to object but was grateful to her friend for not stepping in.
‘I’ll bring you over some of your things,’ Claire said kindly.
‘Thanks.’ Olivia hugged her friend and then her mum before letting Tom lead her out to his car.
The next few days were surreal. Tom never left the house, Olivia staying in bed while her bruised body healed, and he watched over her quietly. Whilst he slept by her side at night, an invisible line lay between them, that only Olivia was allowed to cross in the times that she needed his strength. Her ring was still on the side where she left it, but she never put it back on.
Days and nights merged, until Olivia felt the haze lift and began to feel stronger. As the fear lessened she needed Tom less, and the resentment that his indiscretion had caused all of this began to build again. She saw the hope shatter in his face when she said she had to go, and could feel the pain in his eyes as he watched her leave once more. She felt lost as Claire drove her away, like she didn’t belong anywhere, had lost her identity, and had her happy naive life stolen from her.
Chapter 61
Back at Claire’s Olivia fought hard to get her life back to some sort of normality. It was hard to move on though, when she was constantly wondering about Sarah, and Tom. She was grateful more than ever that she was buddied up with Claire at work, as the anxiety was still with her and she worried how she would be on her own downroute.
‘Rosters are out.’ Claire jumped onto the sofa next to Olivia, clutching her phone. ‘Let’s see what holidays we are having in January.’ She tapped in her passwords to get into the system. Olivia picked up her phone and started doing the same.
Olivia’s roster timeline appeared on her screen.
‘We got the Hong Kong!’ squealed Claire.