by Kaylie Kay
It’s over, Tom. She replayed the words in her head as she lay in bed that night, with tears still falling from her now swollen eyes. It was over, she had finally said it out loud, and she was grieving as if someone had died. She almost wished that he had died, at least then she wouldn’t have the burden of hurt to carry on top of the feeling of loss. She had studied psychology at college and she tried to remember the stages of grief, hoping that she could get through them quickly, comforted to know it wasn’t up to her to control it, that ultimately all humans would go through the same process, just at different speeds. Denial, anger, acceptance, or something like that, and she wished the days away until she could reach acceptance.
Chapter 65
Keeping busy had been the key to her sanity. The run-up to Christmas, with the visit home, the shopping and the flights had passed in a flash and as they landed in Dubai on Christmas Day Olivia felt almost herself. Tom had stopped calling and messaging and whilst it was definitely easier to move forward when he was out of sight and mind, she found herself checking her phone regularly and berating herself when she felt disappointed that there was nothing from him. She couldn’t help wondering how he was today though, whether he would spend it alone, but she swept away the feeling of sadness, determined that she would not have a bad Christmas, despite everything.
For a country with a principal religion that did not recognise Christmas, they had still catered for those who did. The Christmas tree in the hotel lobby was magnificent, and the crew lined up in their uniforms for the Obligatory ‘Christmas downroute’ picture. Most of them were going to see family that were living out here, and the few of them who weren’t made plans to meet for dinner that evening.
‘Look at that view,’ Olivia sighed as they walked into their room. The far wall was pure glass and the Dubai skyline spread across the horizon. The Burj Khalifa stood tall and proud, towering above the rest of the buildings. As she stood in the window Claire handed her a glass of champagne.
‘Happy Christmas,’ Olivia said, raising her glass, trying her best to feel in the spirit. She switched her phone on whilst Claire went for a shower and read the messages that popped up one after another with the same wishes. Her heart sank a little when she couldn’t see one from Tom, but she knew that he was just doing what he thought was right, that he knew she needed to cut the ties completely in order to move on.
‘Your turn.’ Claire walked out of the bathroom in her white hotel robe, saving Olivia from her thoughts.
It was a little after four when the girls walked out of the hotel, and the warm sun welcomed them. They strolled along the promenade that swept around the man-made lake, with restaurants spilling out onto it from the mall behind. The crew were already sat around a table outside of the steak restaurant that they had chosen, all chatting merrily. It had been a busy flight over so Olivia couldn’t even remember the first officer’s name as she sat next to him, and she certainly hadn’t noticed how good-looking he was until now.
‘You look very nice,’ he said approvingly, making Olivia feel a little shy. The dress she wore flattered her with its layer of navy chiffon skimming her curves, and its lace sleeves respectfully covering her shoulders so as not to offend the locals. She hadn’t felt beautiful for a while now and his compliment was gratefully received.
‘Thank you.’
‘Sorry, I don’t think we had a chance to chat on the flight, I’m Adam.’
‘Olivia,’ she replied, knowing that he had no idea of her name either. ‘Sorry we were so busy, I didn’t have a minute to get in and see you.’
The conversation was easy, but Olivia could feel that there was an undertone, that Adam was flirting with her. It wasn’t the first time she had been flirted with by a pilot, but he was different, he seemed genuinely interested in her, and not like he was just trying it on with her for the night. He told her how he had just joined the airline after a working in the Middle East for a few years, and how he was starting a new life at home now after splitting with his girlfriend back in the summer.
The food and wine kept coming and before they knew it the sun had set. Olivia, who was sat with her back to the water, turned around as music began to play, and watched as the water fountains in the lake danced along with it. The light show was breathtaking, projecting its patterns and colours on the buildings around, laser beams cutting through the night sky. She could feel the warmth coming from Adam’s body as he leaned close to her, and she didn’t move away; she missed being close to someone.
‘So, I have to ask. Do you have a boyfriend?’ he asked as they sipped their coffees at the end of the evening. The rest of the crew were talking to each other and no one seemed to notice the familiarity that was growing between them. She noticed him looking down quickly at her hand, and presumed he was trying to see if she wore a ring.
‘No.’ Olivia felt a feeling, a pain, in her stomach as she said it. For the first time in years she really didn’t have a boyfriend. Adam’s smile didn’t mirror whatever she was feeling, as she tried to work out what that was. Was it sadness, fear, or maybe just a sense of being lost?
‘Oh, I can’t believe you’re single, it must be my lucky day.’
From most other men she may have found this a bit cheesy but something about Adam was different, it was ok hearing it from him. She felt her cheeks flush as she rolled her eyes derisively.
‘I’m done.’ Claire was standing over her, and the rest of the crew were getting ready to leave. Olivia stood up to join her friend, she was tired now.
‘Are you not staying for one more drink with me?’ Adam asked sweetly.
Olivia shook her head and smiled. It had been nice to feel wanted again, and maybe in a while she might be ready to date once more, but she wasn’t yet. Adam looked disappointed, but was enough of a gentleman to not push it further.
‘So, what was going on there?’ Claire asked as soon as they were out of earshot. ‘I think he likes you,’ she teased.
‘A bit soon, but yes, he’s a really nice guy.’
‘He certainly is. Not bad to look at either.’
Olivia just smiled. Although she doubted she would see him again she felt happy to know that there were still good guys out there, that Tom wasn’t the last one. Maybe the future wasn’t so bleak.
Chapter 66
January 10th had arrived so quickly. Olivia held on tightly to her mum’s arm as they were led into the courtroom by the clerk and escorted to where they needed to sit at the back. The smell of wood from the panelling that seemed to line the entire room was overpowering and she felt lightheaded as she sat down. She had never been anywhere like this before but it was just like on the daytime TV shows, familiar even. She was grateful to Sarah for pleading guilty, that she wouldn’t have to stand up and give evidence, be questioned even by the men in wigs who sat with their backs to her. In fact she didn’t even have to be here, but she had come because she needed to hear her say it, admit what she had done, and see if she was sorry.
There were other people sat in the spectators’ area already, and she mouthed hello to Fiona who sat a little way up from her. An older couple, maybe in their fifties, sat next to Fiona, looking straight ahead and holding hands. She thought she had seen them before somewhere but couldn’t put her finger on where. The sad, worried looks on their faces told her that they knew Sarah, and she wondered if they were her parents.
Olivia stiffened, her pulse racing, as she watched Sarah being led into the room through a far door and into the dock. Sarah held her head up high, looking almost defiant, as the female officer with her steered her coldly into the seat. She was immaculately groomed as always, in a smart grey suit, as if she was just going to work, and Olivia felt a twinge of sadness when she saw that her hands were cuffed so crudely in front of her. The man who was sat with Fiona let out a loud sob and she saw Sarah look up. For just a moment she seemed to lose her composure, looking like a little girl as she looked back at him, until she saw Olivia, and the little girl was gone in an in
stant. Olivia saw the hate, the scorn that she held for her, and a cold shiver passed through her body as she realised that she wasn’t sorry at all.
‘All rise.’ The call from the usher brought everyone back into the moment, and they stood as the judge appeared from a door on the opposite side to where Sarah had just come from. Dressed grandly in his gown and wig, he walked slowly to his seat in the centre of the platform and sat down below the Royal Coat of Arms that hung on the wall behind.
It was over in no time. She had watched Sarah as the charges had been read, trying to read her expressionless face, wondering what she was thinking as she sat there. She had pleaded guilty to both the arson attack on Tom’s office and to the charge of Assault Occasioning Bodily Harm to Olivia, showing no emotion throughout. Olivia still couldn’t believe that someone had wanted to hurt her that much, but whilst her mum had wanted her to be charged with attempted murder, she had been happy to believe that Sarah hadn’t truly wanted that outcome that night. Now she wasn’t so sure. A small part of her still couldn’t help feeling guilty though. Perhaps if she had never got her the job, if she hadn’t been so insecure herself, Sarah wouldn’t have been pushed to it. Maybe it would never have happened and this beautiful but cold girl wouldn’t be sat there now looking at having to spend her best years in jail. The sentencing was set for a later date and as she was led away they gathered themselves up silently to leave.
‘Are you ok, Olivia?’ Tom’s voice came from behind her and she turned around to face him, wondering if he had been there the whole time.
‘I will be,’ she said back, hating the distance between them, that they hadn’t been sat together, supporting each other like the other couple had.
‘I’m glad it’s over, that she can’t hurt us – you – anymore. I’m so sorry.’ Olivia looked at him. She saw the pain he was carrying, and realised he had been sentenced too for what he had done. ‘Look after yourself,’ he said sadly, nodding in recognition at her mum, who had stood silently behind her, and walking away. Again, the tears came and Olivia stood unable to move for a moment.
‘Olivia.’ Fiona’s voice brought her back, and she quickly wiped her eyes before turning back around. ‘Are you ok?’
‘I will be,’ Olivia said for the second time, convincing herself.
‘Please don’t feel like you have to, but Sarah’s parents are here and they would really like to talk to you.’
Her gut reaction was to say no, absolutely not, until she looked over Fiona’s shoulders and saw them there, looking so desperately sad. Now she remembered where she had seen them, in a photo, all those months ago, on Sarah’s Facebook page.
Sarah’s dad was a big man, strong, with grey hair thinning slightly on the top. Despite his size though, he looked small to Olivia, as if seeing his daughter like that had made him shrink. Her mum was beautiful, still slim and tall, an older version of Sarah; it should have been obvious when she had first seen them that they were her parents. She still held on to her husband for support as they sat at the table in the window of the bar ten minutes later.
‘We are so sorry, Olivia, for what our daughter did to you. We never knew she was capable of going so far,’ she said, shaking her head sadly.
Olivia nodded and felt her mum rub her back supportively.
‘But we never should have sent her here, we should have let her face the music at home. Now she is in much worse trouble.’ She let go of her husband and leant forward, clasping her hands together on the table and looking at Olivia. ‘I’m so sorry to ask, but I need to know, what exactly happened, Olivia? Sarah won’t tell us, and we need to understand.’ She looked down sadly.
Olivia hesitated before taking a deep breath and beginning to tell them. She felt herself stumbling over her words, telling the story that she hadn’t expected to have to tell today, unprepared. She tried to explain to them in as few words as possible how Sarah had ended up hating her so much, how she had had an affair with her fiancé and had gone crazy when he wouldn’t leave her. She left out the bits about how she had hated her too, and tried to get rid of her. Although she knew none of what she had done had justified Sarah’s actions, she wondered if she would ever shake this guilt that she felt in her stomach, that she wasn’t blameless.
Sarah’s parents just listened, never questioning or trying to defend their daughter, as if they believed that she was capable of all of it, even without any provocation. When she had finished they all sat silently for a while, processing their own thoughts.
‘Where is Tom now? Are you working through things?’ asked Sarah’s mum eventually.
‘Oh, we split up.’ Olivia was surprised at the question, surprised that they had asked it. Had they thought they could possibly have stayed together after everything she had just told them?
‘Now listen my love, don’t be too hasty. I know my daughter, and the bloke wouldn’t have had a choice in the matter. Once she sets her eyes on something she always gets what she wants.’ It was the first thing Sarah’s dad had really said, and they all turned to him, waiting for him to go on. He shook his head slowly, gazing down at the untouched beer on the table that he was holding with both hands. ‘I totally blame myself, letting her grow up with the lads at the yard, she had ‘em right twisted around her little finger, and strewth, the trouble she caused when she got older.’ He looked upwards, shaking his head.
‘Go on,’ said Olivia, needing to hear more.
‘Love, there were too many times to tell you about.’ He leant back, still hunching his shoulders. ‘Every time she set her sights on one of the lads, it’s like she didn’t care who she hurt. Brian, geez, he tried to kill himself over her. He lost everything, left the wife and kids for her and she didn’t even want him. But it’s like she never learnt, never changed.’ He looked defeated.
‘She decided she was going to have Harry’s partner,’ Sarah’s mum carried on for him. Olivia presumed Harry was Sarah’s dad. ‘And she got him. Stupid man couldn’t say no. We were all best friends, he was always around our house having dinner with his wife, but Sarah never knew when not to cross the line. If she wanted something she had to have it.’ Olivia was on the edge of her seat now, listening intently. ‘He was a bit older though, and tried to get out of it, realised he’d made a mistake, but she wouldn’t let him just walk away.’
‘I knew something was wrong with him,’ Harry continued, ‘poor bloke, but I never thought he would have been such a galah.’ He paused and took a sip of his drink. ‘What I couldn’t get my head around though, and still can’t, is that my own daughter blackmailed him. She threatened to ruin him if he didn’t leave his wife, and he believed it too.’
‘So what happened?’ Olivia was gripped, she needed to know the ending of the story. It was Sarah’s mum who spoke first.
‘What Sarah didn’t reckon on was him telling his wife though, and her threats to break them up didn’t matter then. She thought she knew everything, she’d never not got her way before. She was so angry.’ She was looking out of the window now as she spoke, the emotion clear in her voice. ‘She threatened all sorts, did some terrible things. They were going to go to the police, but Harry pleaded with them not to. That’s why we sent her here, thought it was for the best.’
‘So she came here and ruined my daughter’s life.’ Olivia could hear the anger in her mum’s voice.
‘It’s ok, Mum.’ She tapped the clenched fist that she had laid on the table. ‘Did you not think she would do the same again?’ she asked, looking at the pair of them despairingly.
‘No.’ Harry shook his head. ‘I just thought it was with the lads at my work. We’d tried putting her into counselling and all sorts to make her see that what she was doing just wasn’t normal. In the end I thought that perhaps the temptation at work was too much and that if she came here she’d get a nice normal job and a fella of her own perhaps. We’d hoped.’ He looked at his wife who nodded in agreement, turning to look at Olivia. ‘She was my little girl.’
Any anger Oliv
ia had felt towards them for a brief moment was gone as she saw this strong man hurting. His wife rubbed his arm to comfort him and turned back to Olivia.
‘We are so sorry, Olivia. Our daughter deserves what she gets now, but she is our child and we still love her. I think we will always blame ourselves for how she turned out.’
As they got up to leave they all shook hands cordially.
‘What happened to your partner and his wife?’ Olivia asked, realising she didn’t know the true end to the story.
‘They worked it out – she forgave him. They had too much to lose to let her take it away just because she could.’ Harry held her gaze a little longer than necessary, making sure that she had heard what he said.
Chapter 67
Olivia had felt exhausted when they got back to Claire’s, and by the time that she had told her friend about all that had happened she had fallen into bed and slept more soundly than she had for weeks. She tried not to think too much about the things Sarah’s parents had said, her mind was too tired out after everything to think clearly. She would come back to it later but for now what she really needed was another break. As she packed the next morning for the trip to Hong Kong she felt relieved that it was now all over, and a few days away with the girls was exactly what she needed to start off the next chapter in her life.
‘Girls.’ Julie Margot’s voice cut through the dull hum of noise in the terminal building. They had all met up a bit early to have a coffee before checking in, the four of them speaking quickly, all trying to catch up with each other and everything that had been happening in their lives. Olivia didn’t want to dwell on hers; she had spoken enough about it recently, and listened happily to the others. They all turned to see Julie tottering over to them as glamorous as always, with a huge grin on her face. As she arrived at their table she went from one to another, kissing the air by their cheeks. ‘Oh, I’m so happy to have such a lovey crew today, I can’t tell you how much I have been looking forward to this flight. I do hope you’ve all brought something nice to wear on the night out.’ She was obviously excited about what they would be doing.