I let out a deep sigh. “It’s not just his equipment, Rach,” I admitted. “I really like him. He’s not at all what I imagined a professional athlete to be, you know.” She smiled softly. “And he adores Grant,” I added. “What more could I ask for?”
“And you’re freaking out why, exactly?”
“Fear of too good to be true?” I wasn’t exactly sure why I was anxious about it all, other than the fact that I could seriously see myself getting caught up in Nathan’s wave and drowning beneath it.
“Andie, babe, you’ve always known you were going to have to get back out there again,” Rachel pointed out. “And because life is a sadistic sonofabitch, you also knew there could be some hits and misses. Dating is effin’ brutal, woman.”
I laughed. “Thanks. I feel so much better.”
Rachel gave me a lopsided grin. “All I’m saying is to just enjoy Nathan,” she advised. “If it works out, great. If it doesn’t, it’s not the end of the world.” She was essentially repeating the same thing I had said to Steven.
“I just never…I’m not sure how I feel about my feelings,” I confessed.
She cocked her head. “What do you mean?”
“I really like Nathan,” I repeated. “And I wasn’t expecting to.”
It was so hard to put into words. I was over Steven, I really was. I didn’t have any farfetched fantasies that we’d get back together or any pockets of doubt over our divorce. Sure, we got along now, but things had been horrible the year before I finally felt like I had to divorce him. He had been awful and had handled Grant’s health condition all wrong. The ugliness was something that I’d never be able to forgive, never mind forget. That alone was enough for me to know that I was over Steven.
Liking someone knew felt scary and like another step. Sex with someone else had been another step but liking them wasn’t just another step; it was a big step.
“I just don’t want to confuse sex with something more,” I told her. “I like him, and this weekend was damn near magical, but…I’m kind of upset with myself that I’m feeling more about this weekend than I should.”
“According to who?” she asked not unkindly.
“I don’t want to rush it-rush myself,” I said.
Rachel took a drink of her watered-down iced tea before saying, “Andie, Charlie chased me for months after I called him an idiot.” I couldn’t stop my smile. It really was a sweet story. Well, if you took out Rachel storming the building. And Rachel causing a scene. And Rachel calling Charlie an idiot. Seriously, if you took out the rage and drama, it really was a sweet story. “Love at first sight does exist.”
“I’m not saying it doesn’t,” I countered. “I’m just not ready to crash and burn just yet.”
“And you’re positive you will?”
“No,” I admitted. “But I had concerns even when I thought I could accept this for a casual fling, now that I’m finding that I actually like the man…” I shrugged a shoulder. “Maybe I’m just a little gun shy.”
“Don’t beat yourself up too badly about it, Andie,” she said. “It’s only been two years since things with Steven officially ended. Maybe you just need to tell Nathan that you need to go slow.”
“It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?” I deadpanned. “I spent the past two nights naked in his bed.”
“Sex and love are two very different things, babe,” she replied. “Keep banging the god, but maybe the quality time can run slower.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, for instance, when he comes over to see Grant, then do what you’ve been doing, and make yourself scarce while they spend time together,” she suggested. “Don’t turn it into some kind of family picture quality time.” I could see where she was going with this. “Don’t meet his family or introduce him to yours for a few more weeks or a couple of months. That kind of thing.”
“So, keep it a secret?”
Rachel shook her head. “Not necessarily a secret, just don’t place so much importance on him so soon. If you have errands to run during the weekends, then run them. Don’t put them on hold to be with him. Actions speak louder than words, and if you’re rearranging your life to be with him, that’s telling, Andie. If you need to take it slow, explain that to him,” she advised again. “You said you guys talked a lot this weekend, so now that he knows a little more about what you and Steven went through, I’m betting he’ll understand wanting to take it slow versus getting offended.”
Everything she was saying was making sense, but I still somehow felt stupid for some reason. Like I was running headfirst into a brick wall because I didn’t have the sense to open my eyes.
“Oh, not trying to change the subject because, believe me, I definitely need more advice, but Justin is introducing a couple of new items to the menu, and he asked me to stop by on Wednesday and be a guinea pig. Wanna go with me?”
Her head reared back. “Are you kidding? Free food and booze? Hell yeah, I want to go with you.”
I took a drink of my watery tea and smiled. “Charlie won’t mind you getting tanked on a Wednesday afternoon?”
She pfft’ed. “Please,” she drawled out. “He’ll drop the kids off with his parents and take total advantage of me.”
I cocked my head. “You have to be drunk for him to take advantage of you?”
She grinned. “Not at all. But the freak flags start to fly in the bedroom when I’ve been drinking,” she joked, only I didn’t think she was entirely joking. She and Charlie were nauseatingly in love. I had no doubt they still got the handcuffs out all these years later.
And I wanted that.
I’d had it before Steven had lost his shit and it was something that I wanted again. Not with Steven, but with someone who would adore me just as much as I adored him.
“What are you going to do with Grant?” she asked.
“Steven’s parents were clamoring to spend some more time with him before school started,” I replied. “So, they’re taking him for a movie marathon at the cineplex.”
Rachel’s grin widened. “Well, since you’ll have to be sober when they take him back home, I’ll take one for the team and flavor the drinks while you flavor the food.”
I laughed. “You’re a true friend, Rachel Filmore,” I teased. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Right?” she said, taking credit for the compliment.
Before I could say anything, my phone chimed, and there was no way to ignore the butterflies that erupted in the pit of my stomach.
Nathan: Thinking of u
Me: Good thoughts I hope
I was so bad at this, I didn’t even know what to write back.
Nathan: Always
Me: (smiling emoji)
“Dude, you got it bad.” I looked up at Rachel. “It’s all over your face, babe.”
I let out a quiet sigh. “Yeah, I suppose I do,” I admitted.
Nathan Hayes was definitely the curve ball I hadn’t seen coming. And he was definitely better at playing the game than I was.
Chapter 18
Nathan~
Pretty sure I was in trouble.
It’s been over two weeks of Andie spending every weekend with me, and I was falling fast. Hell, not falling at all. I was pretty sure I’ve already fallen.
“So, you still haven’t met the ex-husband yet?” Sayer’s voice came over the phone. Me, him, and Gideon were all on a call together because I needed advice and a little support.
“No, I haven’t,” I told him. “She wants to take things slow.”
While that first weekend had been phenomenal, the following weekend she had told me she had wanted to take things slow. No meeting the parents or anything like that. Andie had admitted to being gun shy, and I really couldn’t blame her. Two years was two years, but two years were only two years when you considered how long she and Steven had been together and Grant.
So, I got it. I really did. But it still sucked.
“Think he’l
l get jealous,” Gideon asked.
“I don’t think so,” I told him. “From what she’s told me, he was the one to move on first.”
Sayer snorted and I winced. “Yeah, because that matters,” he scoffed. His wife’s ex-husband had started dating almost immediately after he had divorced Monroe, but that hadn’t stopped Thomas from losing his shit when Monroe had started dating Sayer.
“Okay. Point made,” I conceded.
“And when are you going to tell Mom,” Gideon cut back in. “You saw what she did to Sayer when she found out he’d been after Monroe for a while already and hadn’t said anything.”
This time Sayer winced. “Yeah,” he grumbled. “It wasn’t pretty.”
Like I had told Andie, though she hadn’t believed me, Louise Hayes was that meddling old woman, who had too much time on her hands, but had a temper that could make her grown sons run for cover. She believed our love lives were her business, and we’d better not tell her any different. The woman wanted a score of grandkids, and she wasn’t letting up until she got them.
“I’ll tell her soon,” I promised. “But you know if I tell her now, the first thing she’s going to want to do is meet Andie and Grant. Andie’s not ready for Louise Hayes.”
“Is anybody?” Sayer deadpanned.
“Hey, fucker,” Gideon barked. “That’s our mother you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, and our mother is certifiable, Gid,” Sayer barked back. “And don’t act like you don’t know this.”
“Love her to death, but she is insane,” I added, siding with Sayer.
“I’ll kill you both,” Gideon threatened.
“I don’t hear you saying we’re wrong, though,” Sayer fired back.
Gideon hung up on us.
I chuckled as Sayer shook his head. “He’s in denial.”
“No,” I argued. “He’s got no choice but to be a part of Mom’s madness since he works with Dad.”
“Or it could just be that middle-child syndrome he suffers from.”
“That, too,” I agreed.
“So, is it love?” Sayer asked, changing topics.
“I think it is, Say,” I told him truthfully. “I’ve never felt this way before.” Sayer was a great big brother and wasn’t as moody as Gideon, so it was easier to talk to him. “She…Andie fucking dazzles me, Say.”
“Dazzles?” he choked out. “Okay, that’s a little too vaginal for me.” Then the fucker hung up on me. So much for being a great big bother.
The asshole.
Before I could call him back and let him know that he was an asshole, in case he was unaware, my doorbell rang. It was programmed through the regular elevator, and if someone was visiting me, they had to push the penthouse button in the elevator to ring me. However, there were only two people who used it and that was Andie and Grant. My parents, brothers, and Sergio used the penthouse elevator whenever they visited. Which made me realize I was going to have to give Andie a copy of the penthouse elevator key and see if I could get a third made for Grant.
I walked out into the guest foyer and hit the accept button on the panel near the elevator doors, knowing it could only be Andie or Grant.
And I was right.
Grant came strolling out of the elevator with a big grin on his face, and it made my chest ache with happiness. The kid has been on cloud nine ever since his parents told him he’d be going to a live football game. Season opener, no less.
“What’s up, kiddo,” I said, fist bumping him.
His green eyes looked up at him. “Are you busy?”
“Not too busy for you,” I said, telling him the absolute truth. “Wanna come inside?” Grant nodded and we walked into my place. “Want something to eat? Drink?”
“I could use a drink,” he replied, and I chuckled at how grown he sounded. Sometimes he sounded just like what an eight-year-old should sound like, and other times he sounded like a grown man.
I grabbed him a juice pouch (I started keeping some in my fridge once he started coming over more), and grabbed me a water, and met him in the living room.
“What brings you by?” It was Thursday afternoon, and I knew he’d be going off with his dad in a couple of hours, or so.
“Mom’s in the zone, and I thought I’d come hang out with you a bit before she has to take me to Dad’s.”
“Editing or writing?”
“Writing, I think.”
I nodded. “So, what’s up?”
“Are you dating my Mom?” And thank God I hadn’t taken a drink of my water yet or else it would have sprayed everywhere.
“Uh…what?”
“Do you like my Mom? Like to be her boyfriend?”
Holy fuck.
“Uh…why do you ask?”
“Because whenever you come over, I catch you looking at her like you like her,” he said, flooring the fuck out of me.
“I do?”
Grant nodded. “Yeah, you do.” Before I could think of a response, he added, “It’s okay if you like her. She’s nice.”
I looked at this kid who owned my heart, and hearing him champion his mother, telling me she was nice, I knew I didn’t want to lie to him. He’d never have any respect for me if I did, and he was old enough to remember me lying to him if he ever found out the truth.
“Yes, Grant,” I told him, hoping I wasn’t making a mistake. “I like your mom very much. She’s very nice, and pretty, and neat.” Neat?
He looked at me a long hard minute before saying, “I think she likes you, too.”
“What makes you say that?”
“She’s happy all the time now,” he explained, and I was ready to marry her and adopt him by the end of the week. Sure, Steven might have some objections to adopting his only son, but that was a problem for a later date.
“How would you feel if she was my girlfriend?” I was okay with admitting I liked his mother, but I wasn’t so clueless as to say more than I should without talking to Andie and/or Steven first.
“That’d be okay with me,” he said. “Dad has girlfriends sometimes, and it’s what grownup people do, right?”
“Well, I wouldn’t be your Mom’s sometimes boyfriend,” I tried to explain. “I really like your Mom, so I’d be her forever boyfriend.” Forever boyfriend? Christ, was I fucking this up?
Grant cocked his little eight-year-old head at me, and fucking killed me when he said, “That’d be okay as long as you don’t make her cry. My dad made her cry a lot when I was little, and I didn’t like it.”
I knew there were going to be days when I made Andie cry because I was a man and us men were fucking super stupid sometimes, but it’d never be intentional. However, Grant was too young to explain that to. So, instead, I told him, “I will do my best to never make your mom sad, Grant. You have my word.”
“And you and my Dad will be friends, too, right?”
And do you know how I knew it was over for me?
Because I looked this kid in the eyes and said, “Absolutely.”
Chapter 19
Andrea~
You have got to be kidding me.
It was late Friday afternoon, and Justin was about to get ready for the dinner and night crowds. He was offering his new dishes and drinks tonight, and I had stopped by to wish him luck. Rachel and I had given all three dishes the thumbs up, and most of the new drink concoctions, except for the Take A Guess disaster he had served up.
It had tasted like ass.
That hadn’t been washed in days.
But after making myself at home at the bar and abusing my perks for free appetizers and a drink, my phone has rung, and since it had been Steven’s name that had flashed across the screen, of course, I had answered, and now I was sitting down, stunned, at what he was saying.
“Are you…what?”
“Look, I’m not mad,” Steven said. “You’ve been completely honest about what’s been going on, Andie. I just would have liked a little heads-up that Grant knew you were dating Nathan. I felt kind of blindsid
ed and hadn’t really known how to respond.”
Answering the phone, Steven had told me that, this morning over breakfast, Grant had told him that I was dating Nathan. Steven being a real estate agent, he was able to set his own hours. He always took Fridays off, even if that meant he had to put in extra hours Monday through Friday. It was something we both did. We worked our asses off on the days we didn’t have Grant, so that we could have more free time on the days we had them. We also got along well enough that if we needed to trade days or pick up/drop off times, we could.
“Steven, I never told Grant I was dating Nathan,” I told him. There had to be some mistake or Grant was just doing some wishful thinking and Steven misunderstood. “What…what did he say, exactly?”
There were a few seconds of silence, but there was no mistaking Steven’s tone when he asked, “You never told Grant you were dating Nathan?”
“No,” I replied. “I’d never do that without talking to you first. If…if it’s serious enough to tell Grant about it, then it’s serious enough to talk to you about it and discuss what it could mean.”
“He said Nathan told him that he liked you and asked him if it was okay if he was your boyfriend.” What? “I…I just assumed you guys had discussed it all together.”
“An…and when did Nathan tell him this? Do you know? Did he say?”
“I did ask, and Grant said Nathan told him yesterday afternoon,” he said. “Did Grant visit Nathan yesterday?”
My stomach dipped with realization. “Yeah,” I mumbled into the phone. “He went to visit him at his place a couple of hours before I dropped him off with you.”
“And Nathan didn’t say anything to you about it?”
“No.” Steven remained silent, so I went on to explain. “When I got back from dropping Grant off, Nathan had sent me a text that a water line had busted in his parents’ backyard. He’d gone over there to help out. I…I worked all Thursday evening, and I woke up to a text his morning that he’d see me today. The text came in at around midnight, so I assumed he stayed to help fix the water line, or…something.”
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