“Andr-”
“We already wrecked that precious kid’s life when we got a divorce, but your ego and insecurities are so fragile, we have to ruin his life some more just so you don’t feel threatened?” I shook my head in repugnance and disappointment. “Spoken like a true spoiled athlete who isn’t used to the word no.”
“Just like I don’t know what it’s like to be a father or divorced, you don’t know what it’s like to be a professional athlete, so why don’t you refrain from judging?”
That was it.
That was all.
No apology for judging something he couldn’t possibly understand.
No apology for overstepping again.
Just a small acknowledgment that he may have fucked-up, but it wasn’t that big of a fuck-up because he hadn’t told Grant we were dating, just that he liked me.
I didn’t need this shit.
No matter how much I was beginning to care for Nathan, I didn’t need this shit.
I took a deep breath and did the same thing I’d done when my marriage was falling apart; I did what was best for Grant.
“Look, if you still want to be friends with Grant, I’m fine with that-”
“Are you fucking serious?” Nathan growled, and he looked pissed, but what did he have to be pissed about? I wasn’t the one who betrayed his trust.
“If you still want to be friends with Grant-”
“I will always want to be friends with Grant,” he interrupted. “But are you seriously breaking up with me over one mistake? No grace period? No second chance? No nothing? It’s just over because I fucked up once?”
“Once is one time too many if it involves my son,” I shot back.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Andrea,” he snapped. “I told Grant I liked you. It’s not like I told him it makes you wet when I choke you with my cock-”
And that was my limit.
That was my limit, and it was obvious that Nathan knew it, too, because his blue eyes widened as he abruptly stopped his rant.
The fact that it was true, and it had been something that I had expressed during the heat of passion, was like a slap in the face. It was a harsh reminder of all the things I had trusted Nathan with, and proof that I really was stupid with it came to men.
“Get out of my house,” I told him. No screaming. No crying. No anything.
“Andrea-”
“Get. Out. Of. My. House,” I repeated a little bit more forcefully.
He stared at me for a few tense seconds, then said, “Okay. Maybe we both need to cool down-”
I shook my head. “You don’t understand,” I interrupted. “I won’t object to your friendship with Grant, but I want nothing more to do with you, Nathan.”
He quickly stepped towards me. “Andie-”
“Get out of my house, Nathan.” He looked like he was going to argue, so I hit him with something I knew he couldn’t risk, considering who he was. “Or I will call the police.”
His head reared back, and he’d just taken a physical blow. “Andie…”
“Andrea,” I corrected, and I didn’t utter another word as I watched Nathan take a deep breath before turning around and walking out my front door.
The tears didn’t come until around midnight.
Chapter 22
Nathan~
One of the hardest things to do was listen to all the ways you were wrong.
And I was wrong.
On so many fucking levels.
I was so fucking wrong that Gideon had even toned down his dickish ways because the asshole was feeling so sorry for me.
“I have to admit, I’m at a bit of a loss here,” Sayer mumbled helplessly.
After Andie-or Andrea-kicked me out of her condo, I wasn’t too proud to admit I had been a fucking mess. I fucked up, and I had fucked up bad.
However, the magnitude of my fuck-up hadn’t really registered until I had shown up at Sayer’s, and he hadn’t automatically jumped in to defend me or side with me. After I had shared with him the clusterfuck that I found myself in, he had grabbed me a beer, told me to sit down, and had called Gideon. And the fact that he had called Gideon to help with mess was also telling. Gideon didn’t throw his punches. He told you what he thought and why and you just had to deal with it. If Sayer called Gideon, that meant we were going to need a referee. Gideon was logic and facts, while Sayer and I were more prone to reacting emotionally. Sayer from being spoiled as the first born, and me from being spoiled as the baby of the family. Gideon…Gideon wasn’t spoiled.
“What exactly are you confused about, Say?” Gideon asked. “Nate was a fucking asshole to her.”
See?
“I wasn’t an asshole, per s-”
Gideon looked like he wanted to deck me. “Dude, instead of just going over there and apologizing for not staying in your lane, you insult her by downplaying something that’s obviously important to her, and then attack her relationship with her ex-husband,” Gideon scoffed. “And as much as Sayer wants to be the supportive big brother, have you fucking learned nothing from his experience?”
“Meaning?” I asked, sounding like a legit brat.
“Meaning Monroe’s ex-husband is a total dick,” he answered as if I hadn’t already known this. “Do you know how much easier Sayer’s life would be if Monroe and Thomas got along, like Andrea and her ex-husband did? Do you have any idea how much happier Leta would be?” With every question he posed, I felt lower and lower. “You stumble across a great kid, who can outmatch you in sports by the way, and he comes with a hot mother who is a good person, but stupid enough to like your dumb ass. And she gets along with her ex, so there’s no fucking drama, and what do you do?” When me and Sayer remained silent, he answered his own questioned. “You throw a fucking tantrum because you’re Nathaniel fucking Hayes, professional baseball shortstop, and America’s darling, and you can’t possibly imagine that anything wouldn’t go your way.”
“C’mon, Gid,” Sayer interjected. “That’s kind of harsh, don-”
“Harsh?” Gideon’s brows shot up. “Who has Nate ever had to be responsible for, besides himself, in all his life?” Sayer’s eyes cut my way. “That’s right. No one.”
“That’s not fair,” Sayer said, defending me, though I wasn’t sure I deserved it. A lot of what Gideon was saying felt like burning acid in my stomach.
“Do you want to know what’s not fair, Say?” Gideon challenged. “If Nate didn’t have Mom or Dad looking after him, he had you doing it. And if you weren’t around, he had me doing it. All of us, we’ve always made sure Nate was taken care of because he was the baby. It was our job to look out for him, and that is not something that I’ve ever regretted or resented.” Gideon looked back at me. “I love you, Nate. I love you, like I would take a bullet for you. I would die for you, if that was what needed to be sacrificed. You’re my brother.” He looked over at Sayer. “I’d do the same for you.” Returning those piercing blue eyes back my way, he said, “But never having been responsible for another person, be it sibling, wife, or child, you stood there as the judge, jury, and executioner on Andrea’s life and her choices.” He shook his head. “Don’t you see how fucked-up that is? This woman is still picking up the pieces of a failed marriage, while working with her ex-husband the best way she knows how, in dealing with the health of their son. And here you come along and tell her your interference in what she’s trying to maintain is no big deal. You tell her to get over it because it was just some minor fuck-up in your opinion. That’s-”
“Enough!” I couldn’t take his truth any longer.
“Is it, though?” he retorted.
“Yes,” I hissed. “I hear you, loud and clear, Gid.”
“Nate-”
I looked over at Sayer. “It’s okay, Say,” I told him. “Gideon’s not wrong.”
“He doesn’t need to be a dick about it,” Sayer bit out.
Gideon looked over at him. “I’m sorry,” he remarked, the sarcasm dripping. “Did you call me over
here to cradle his balls while you stroked his dick?”
“Uh, okay,” I grimaced. “Can we not talk about my brothers doing anything with my dick and balls?”
Sayer shook his head. “Okay, can we get to fixing this, instead of placing unnecessary blame? Nate already knows he fucked up. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t.”
“You fucked with her kid,” Gideon said. “You can’t fix this.”
My head reared back. “Seriously? You’re going to actually say that fucked-up shit to me?”
“Because Mom wouldn’t lose her shit or end up in jail if anyone fucked with any of us?” Gideon let out a dark chuckle. “They don’t call them momma bears for nothing, Nate.”
I felt like I was going to throw up.
I was in love with Andie. This mess proved it. I wouldn’t be feeling like my life was over if I weren’t in love with her. The second I had reduced her concerns to a sordid sex act, I knew I had crossed an unforgivable line. Sure, I’d been swerving outside my lane for a while where she was concerned-as Gideon put it-but that had been crass and uncalled for. Even I knew that.
“I have an idea,” Sayer offered. “But I’m not sure you’re going to like it.”
“What is it?” I wasn’t proud. “I’ll do anything, Say.”
“You’re going to have to throw yourself on the sword and talk to the ex,” he said.
“What?”
“He’s right,” Gideon remarked, agreeing with Sayer.
“How do you figure?” While that shitshow earlier could have been worse, I wasn’t quite ready to become BFFs with Steven Hansen.
“If he can forgive you for overstepping with their son, then Andrea might be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. If the one man, who has no reason to like you or spare you, is willing to listen to you, then maybe she will, too.”
I hated how their jacked-up advice was making sense. The last thing I wanted to do was ask Andie’s ex to help me fix my relationship with her, but what else could I do? I just told Sayer I’d do anything to make it right, right?
Fuck, maybe I was a spoiled little shit after all.
“I guess that’s still better than the plan I don’t have,” I grumbled, hating the idea.
Gideon let out a deep sigh, and I knew I was exhausting him. He was not a fan of drama. That’s why he was always yelling at us when Mom got on him because her theatrics were too much for him sometimes. “Look, Nate, even if she doesn’t forgive you, this way, at least you can say you tried everything, right?”
I looked between my two brothers and asked the one question I really didn’t want an honest answer to. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”
It was Sayer who delivered the blow. “No, Nate. I don’t think she will,” he said sadly.
“But if she does,” Gideon said, their roles reversed. “If she does, Nate, then you better appreciate that gift for what it is for the rest of your fucking life.”
“You think I won’t?”
“I think you’re finally going to learn the hard way what it’s like to be responsible for other people,” he replied, back to being the dick.
“I don’t even know how to get a hold of Steven,” I grumbled.
“You know how to get a hold of Grant, right?” Sayer asked.
“Yeah. We exchanged cell numbers a couple of weeks ago.”
“Well, there you go.”
I pulled my phone out and sent a text to an eight-year-old, asking him to have his dad-who he thinks I’m friends with now-to call me.
This was going to suck.
But the alternative?
That would suck even more.
Chapter 23
Andrea~
Well, I wasn’t expecting this.
Steven walked past me into the living room, no Grant in sight.
“Where’s Grant? With your parents?”
He eyed me and blurted out sadly, “You look like crap, Andie.”
“Geez, thanks,” I grumbled. “You sure know how to flatter a lady.” The jerk grinned and I just shook my head.
Some days I didn’t know how to take him. At times, we felt like old friends, and at other times, we could seem like distant strangers. I suppose it could just be a matter of mood swings or good days versus bad days, but I knew that me and Steven were probably always going to be a work in progress. At least, for a few more years.
His face softened when he asked, “Crying all night?”
“This feels really weird, talking to you about this, Steven,” I replied sardonically.
His grin widened. “Well, it’s about to get even weirder.”
My eyes narrowed. “What do you mean? And where’s Grant?” I asked again.
Steven’s green eyes regarded me closely as he informed me, “He’s upstairs with Nathan.”
My stomach rolled.
“What?”
He threw his hands up in surrender. “Calm down-”
“Then you better get to talking, Steven,” I bit out.
“Nathan texted Grant last night, asking him to ask me to call him,” he said, throwing me into complete shock.
“What?!” I screeched.
“Andie, hear me out,” he implored. “Just…hear me out, and…and if you still want nothing to do with Nathan, I’ll support you completely. Okay?” I was staring at my ex-husband as I was trying to accept that he was here on Nathan’s behalf.
This was too weird by half.
I took a deep breath and decided to ride this train wreck until it crashed. “Okay.”
“It took me a long while to finally pick up the phone and call Nathan back,” he began. “It sort of felt like…I was betraying you, or something. But then…”
“But then, what?”
His face looked so emotionally sincere, I almost choked up. “But then I remembered what it felt like to lose you. His call took me back to those desperate memories where I knew I had fucked up beyond what I could repair. I felt for the man, and so, I called him.”
“Steven…” I didn’t really know what to say, but to say I was emotionally confused was a super understatement.
“So, I called him, and he asked if I could meet him somewhere or if he could stop by. I called my parents and asked if they could watch Grant for a bit, and after dropping him off, I met Nathan at Just One More Cup.” Just One More Cup was a café that was opened around the clock. The entire world didn’t work banker hours and Just One More Cup understood this.
“And?”
“First, he owned up to overstepping, but not just with telling Grant he was interested in you,” he continued. “He apologized for not staying in his lane.” Steven chuckled. “Those were his words, not mine.” I thought about that, and it was probably a very accurate description of Nathan’s behavior since the first night we met. “After that, he apologized for not taking the time to understand something he’s never experienced. He admitted to only seeing everything through the eyes of a person who’d never had the kind of responsibilities you and I had.”
“Okay, so he apologized, and explained why he was irresponsible and an asshole, but that still doesn’t explain why you’re here on his behalf, Steven,” I told him. “And, quite frankly, his is weird, Steven.”
He let out a soft chuckle. “I’m very aware, Andrea.”
“Okay, so he apologized, admitted to being clueless, and…?”
“And I think the man really cares about you, Andie,” he replied. “In fact, I’m pretty sure the man is in love with you.”
My heart dropped at hearing him say those words. “What makes you say that?”
“Because he looked like a goddamn mess, Andie,” he claimed. “He looked worse than you do right now, and you’ve been crying your eyes out all night.”
“Ha. Ha,” I deadpanned.
“I’m serious,” he said as he made his way over and put his hands on my shoulders, then rubbing them up and down. “I just know that look, Andrea.”
“Why are you doing this, Steven?” Even if ever
ything he was saying was true, I still couldn’t reconcile the fact that Steven was here, and he was pleading Nathan’s case.
“Because I can tell you I’m sorry, every day for the rest of my life, but those two words mean nothing without any action behind them, Andrea.” I felt like I was being pummeled emotionally, good, bad, sad…all of them. “I don’t want you to just hear how sorry I am, I want you to know it. And the only way I can prove how sorry I am for everything I’ve caused is to do whatever I need to in order to make sure you and Grant are happy. And Nathan was making you happy, Andie.”
“But he-”
“Stop,” he commanded, his hands sliding into his pockets. “While what Nathan did was reckless, it wasn’t malicious. His talk with Grant was ill-advised, but you know he didn’t do it to hurt you or Grant.”
“But-”
“Andrea, don’t make Nathan pay for my mistakes,” he said sternly. “You’re gun shy, and I understand that. I really do. But ending things this abruptly because of a misunderstanding is a bit extreme, don’t you think?”
I thought about that for a few seconds. “The argument got ugly,” I said, letting him know there was more to it.
Steven nodded. “I know, Andie,” he replied, surprising me again. “Nathan didn’t go into details, but he admitted to getting immature and ugly after me and Grant left.”
I couldn’t stop the quiet tears that came. “I’m scared, Steven,” I confessed.
His voice scratched when he said, “I know, Andrea. And I’m so fucking sorry. I’m so fucking sorry I did that to you.” He pulled his hands out of his pockets and yanked me into his arms. “I’ll support you, no matter what you decide with Nathan, but I really do believe the man loves you. And I just want to see you happy.”
The Problem with Sports Page 11