When she left her room again, she crossed Joel and Ava, and he was saying to her, “Come on, baby, let’s go back to our place and finish what we started when the earthquake hit,” and then he laughed.
“What if the house falls down on top of us in an aftershock?” Ava said, and Meredith was embarrassed to have overheard them.
“Wouldn’t that be a great way to die?” Joel said, and didn’t care who heard him say it. “Having sex.” He acted as though it was all he wanted to do with her, and Meredith felt sorry for her. She was clearly a sex object in his life, and not much more. He could hardly keep his hands off her, and was always rubbing some part of her, her back, her waist, her neck, her bottom, in a sensual almost lewd way. Meredith felt like a Peeping Tom around them. It didn’t surprise her now that they’d been naked, wearing bathrobes, when they’d walked into the street after the earthquake. It was as though he wanted everyone to know that he had sex with her all the time. It was more than Meredith wanted to know about them. And she had a strong sense that there was much more to Ava than Joel Fine saw. She was a bright girl who was clearly trying to better herself. She was proud of going to college online, and had mentioned it at dinner the night before. She couldn’t afford to go to a top design school, but she was applying herself diligently online. She had mentioned in passing that her parents had both died when she was a child, and she was brought up by a strict aunt and uncle in Salt Lake City, and had fled to San Francisco as soon as she was able after high school. She got work as a tradeshow model in San Francisco. She’d worked hard at it and got by for nine years. Her life had been altered unimaginably when she met Joel, and he introduced her to a whole new world of luxury, and his ability to have and do whatever he wanted due to his success. Joel paid for whatever he desired, and treated her as though he owned her, with no interest in how bright she was or her dreams.
Joel wanted Ava’s company and her body at his beck and call. She realized now that she had become too comfortable in his lifestyle, and even addicted to it. She felt safe in his world even though she knew that one day he would tire of her, and it would be over, like all the women who had come before her. Joel was a golden dead end, she reminded herself of it constantly, but she never had the courage to walk away. It was too easy to stay, even though he offered her no future. But he was kind and fun and generous.
The people she’d grown up with would have envied her, but she had always wanted more for herself and still did. A career she could be proud of, a man who valued her as more than just decorative, or for sex. She wanted a husband and children one day, and Joel was never going to be that person and had said so since the beginning. She knew she’d have to jump off the train one day, but Joel’s life in the fast lane moved too quickly and it was too easy to stay, so she had.
She wanted to be more than she was now, with him. She refused to let go of her dreams, but there was no way to pursue them while she was with him. She knew she was settling for a man who wasn’t capable of truly loving her, or anyone. She was part of the fantasy life he had created for himself, but she was not real to him. There were qualities of Joel’s that Ava loved and she was grateful to him for the life he shared with her, even though she knew that the only person Joel would ever truly love was himself. She knew it, but always hoped a little that something would change, and he would see her as a person, and maybe even fall in love with her.
Joel and Ava left the house after Meredith saw them, and Jack let them out. He had been picking up more broken pots in the garden. Meredith went to check on her rosebushes. Some of them looked sadly battered, and one had literally been torn out of the ground. She was still checking on them and trying to repair them, when the others began coming back at one o’clock. Daphne was skipping and carrying two more dolls along with Martha, and Will was carrying his backpack full of his schoolbooks. His father wanted him to do some homework every day, even though his school was closed. Tyla looked tired, and had a bandage on her hand. She had cut herself throwing away mountains of broken glasses and dishes. She had a suitcase with changes of clothes for all four of them. Andrew was carrying his medical bag, in case any of them got hurt. He had bandaged Tyla’s hand when she cut it. There was a kind of vacant look in her eyes, and she seemed nervous when Meredith glanced at her, as though she was hiding a secret.
Arthur said he had been able to practice on his own piano, but he reported that Peter said that there were numerous cracks and fissures in the walls and ceilings, and a lot of plaster had fallen. They needed an engineer to check it out before they could stay there. And Peter was carrying his manuscript, in case Arthur’s house caught fire.
Joel said his newly decorated house was a mess. Many paintings had fallen, a piece of neon art had been destroyed and half his furniture was broken. Ava was upset that her laptop with all her schoolwork on it had fallen off her desk and was broken. It sounded like there was a lot of work to do at their house too, and they hadn’t been able to pick up all the broken glass everywhere, there was so much of it, along with their dishes. Joel was going to hire a service to do it. Meredith noticed that they had changed clothes, and wondered if they’d had sex again when they were at his house. Ava was wearing a different exercise outfit, in turquoise this time.
They all went to the kitchen, and Debbie had set out a buffet for them, of salads, a platter of sandwiches, potato chips, fruit, and cookies. It was a more than adequate lunch and Debbie commented to Meredith that eventually they’d run out of food, if the houseguests stayed for very long. But Meredith knew they had enough to provide many more meals for the group staying at the house. Their storage cupboards and fridges were full.
“If we do, the stores will be open again by then, and we can buy more food. It sounds like none of their houses are sound enough to move back into and won’t be for a while,” Meredith said curtly. She didn’t like Debbie’s inhospitable attitude at all, and knowing how kind she and Jack had been to her, it really shocked her, and seemed out of character for them.
They had almost finished lunch at two o’clock when Colonel Chapman appeared again to check on them. He said he was on his way home and had come to speak to Meredith. The others reported in greater detail the damage in their homes. It sounded structural at Arthur’s house, and might be at the other two. They agreed that it would have to be checked out by professionals, and their insurance companies would have to be involved too.
“No one escaped this one,” Charles Chapman said, looking more tired than he had earlier in the day. He’d been checking on people in their homes for fourteen hours. He seemed awkward with Meredith when he spoke to her, and after he shared coffee and a brownie with them, he quietly asked Meredith if he could speak to her alone.
“Is something wrong?” she asked him, worried. She wondered for an instant if he had found out something about her neighbors that he thought she should know. Maybe Jack and Debbie were right.
“No, not at all. Except that I’m an idiot. I mentioned your so generously housing your neighbors when I went back to the OES office to report in at the end of my shift. A lot of people are putting friends up, but you’ve got eight people staying here whom you’d never even met before. That’s admirable, and not many people would do it, whatever the size of their home. They’re still strangers, and you’re letting them all stay here, and even feeding them.”
“It seems the least I can do in the circumstances, and we had very little damage, other than a number of painting frames, which broke when they fell, and a few fragile antique objects. I’m a little worried about the chandeliers too, and want to get them checked out when we can get an engineer here, which probably won’t be for a while, if what you’ve said is true.”
“All the construction companies are going to be backed up for a long time,” he confirmed. “But that isn’t what I wanted to tell you. I mentioned your name at the office and my colleague’s jaw dropped. He’s a movie buff, and I’ve seen all y
our old movies too. I just didn’t make the connection when I met you, and forgot that you live here.” His co-worker had filled him in on the history too, that a bad divorce when her husband left her and a child who had died tragically had ended her career. Charles had heard long ago that she had become a recluse, but he wasn’t interested in movie star gossip, and never made the connection with the warm, attractive, kind woman he’d met that morning. He’d been stunned when his colleague told him. “That Meredith White?” was all he could say. But when he thought about it, he realized that it was why her face looked so familiar. He had seen her in dozens of movies before she disappeared from the screen. His friend had asked him what she was doing now, and he had no idea, other than living in a big house and housing her neighbors after the earthquake. She had been so modest and unassuming that it never dawned on him that she was the movie star. But seeing her for the second time, it was obvious even to him.
“You must have thought I was an idiot when I said I thought I had met you before. My wife used to love your movies and so did I. But we surely never met, unless you were one of my fighter pilots, or ran a squadron.” He blushed and she smiled.
“Don’t worry about it. That’s fine. It’s been a long time. I’ve been out of the movie business for fourteen years.” He knew why now. He wasn’t even sure if he’d known before. Eventually, she just stopped appearing in movies. He didn’t question why. “I’ve probably changed a lot since then. I don’t go out much, but when I do, people rarely recognize me.”
“Do you wear a blanket over your head, or a hat and dark glasses? Now that I know who you are, I’d recognize you immediately.”
“Audrey Hepburn used to say that if you don’t make eye contact with people on the street, they don’t recognize you. I think that’s true. But I go out very, very rarely. I sneak into a yoga class once in a while, and go for long walks on the beach, but that’s about it.”
“What about your daughter in New York? Do you go to see her, or does she come here to see you?” She had mentioned Kendall to him before. She hesitated before she answered. He was so dignified, respectful, and distinguished looking that she was saying more to him than she would have normally. He had a warm style, and a kind manner with people.
“Actually, we don’t see each other very often. She has a busy life, and I haven’t traveled since…since I retired from films.”
“It’s probably not easy for you to go out with fans hounding you.”
“It’s a little more complicated than that. My daughter and I talk on the phone, I’ll get to New York one of these days.” But she didn’t sound convincing, and he could see that she was sad as she said it. He could feel her retreating and he was afraid he had upset her, particularly since he knew about her son’s death now, from his friend at the OES office. He couldn’t imagine her daughter not coming to see her. He saw his own children as often as he could. But he wasn’t a movie star who had become a recluse, and hadn’t been struck by tragedy. His wife had died, earlier than they’d ever expected, at fifty-three, but she had handled it with dignity, and he had done his best to live a good life since, and remain connected to the world after she died.
Meredith had retreated from the world and had been in hiding ever since. He wondered who her friends were, and if she had any. She had been so generous with her neighbors, he wondered if that was typical of her. The only thing he didn’t like that he had seen so far was the couple who worked for her. The two of them looked like a nasty piece of work to him, and wanted to make everyone who crossed her threshold, including him, as uncomfortable as they could, to chase them away. He wondered what the story was there, and why she had them working for her. Most people didn’t have that reaction to him, either due to his military rank, or his open, easy, friendly nature. Meredith was warm and welcoming to him too, despite her celebrity. But her two employees seemed hostile and downright unpleasant.
“Anyway, I wanted to apologize to you for not recognizing you. I was mortified when I made the connection. I wanted to stop by on my way home to tell you.”
“It’s nicer that you didn’t recognize me.” She smiled at him. “I don’t want to be treated like some kind of historical relic,” she said with a laugh, “although I suppose that’s what I am by now.” But she was sixty-three, not a hundred, and she looked even younger, without makeup, and with her blond hair.
“You’re not a relic, you’re a legend,” he said, slightly in awe of her.
“Oh dear, that sounds scary too. I’m just a person who used to make movies. Now I spend my time gardening and reading, going for long walks. It’s a peaceful life.” But it sounded empty and sad to him, and yet she didn’t look like a sad person. But her eyes told him that she had been through hell and come to a place of peace. He wondered if it had taken her all fourteen years of her retirement to do it.
“Well, your neighbors are very lucky that you’re letting them stay here. And I feel fortunate to have met you. If it’s all right with you, I’d like to drop by again. You’ve got a good group here. I’m a big fan of Arthur Harriman. It’s a treat to have met him. He’s remarkable for his age, and such an extraordinary talent. You’ve actually got quite an interesting group here. Joel Fine is certainly the king of high-tech startups.” Meredith knew that. “I’ve read about him. He’s a fascinating guy. He comes from a wealthy background, went to Harvard, and got an MBA at UC Berkeley, and made a fortune on his own with his startups. He hasn’t had one fail yet.”
Joel was very upset when he got back from his house inspection, as Charles Chapman was leaving. Something had fallen in his garage and dented his Ferrari. Will had asked him at lunch if he could see it, since he talked about it, and Joel said he could.
“Call me if you need anything,” Charles Chapman said again when he left, and Meredith thought about their conversation and wondered if she had said too much, but he was easy to talk to. She didn’t usually admit that she and Kendall didn’t see each other and hadn’t in years. They weren’t estranged, since they still spoke on the phone from time to time, but they weren’t close either. Kendall was close to her father, and the damage with her mother had never been repaired. Kendall had never tried to, and San Francisco was no longer on her map. Meredith had made her peace with that too. Her heart had taken a beating three times, when Scott left her for Silvana, when Justin died, and when Kendall stayed close to her father, blamed her mother for everything, and systematically cut her out of her life. Jack and Debbie had gotten her through it, and she felt indebted to them forever, even if they were being difficult now, about having the neighbors stay under her roof. They wanted Meredith to send them to one of the earthquake shelters and there was no way she would now. They were people to her now, and rapidly becoming friends, as they opened up to her.
After Charles left, Andrew went back to the hospital a little while later. Joel took Will to see his Ferrari and let him sit behind the wheel. He was basically a nice guy, he just didn’t have a strong respect for women and saw them as sex toys. His father had been that way too, which had broken up his parents’ marriage. Meredith could already tell that there was so much more substance to Ava than he gave her credit for. He was nice to her, and generous, but all he really cared about was her body. Meredith couldn’t imagine being with a man like him, but Ava seemed devoted to him, and didn’t seem to mind. She had sold her soul for the lifestyle he offered her, and Meredith wondered if most women would. And Joel was used to being seen as a prize of some kind, and a means to an end. Although she had no money, Ava wasn’t with him for what he could give her or do for her. She genuinely cared about him and sometimes even believed she loved him. She wasn’t cynical and thought the best of everyone. It came through in everything she said.
The one who worried her in the group was Tyla, who seemed so meek and vulnerable to Meredith, after knowing her for only twenty-four hours. She obviously adored her children, and was devoted to her husband and
anxious to please him, but he seemed so harsh with her when he thought no one was listening. He was handsome, intelligent, successful, and charming to everyone else, but Meredith sensed a chip on his shoulder she couldn’t identify, and a silent, deeply buried, underlying rage. She didn’t know why, but she thought there was something dangerous about him, and she had noticed that his children seemed ill at ease around him too. She had heard Will stammer a few times when his father addressed him. She suspected that still waters ran deep in Andrew’s case, and things weren’t always as they appeared.
* * *
—
Later that afternoon, Joel went downtown to see if they would let him cross police lines to check out what condition his office was in. He didn’t ask Ava to come, in case it was dangerous, and she ran into Peter in the kitchen when they both went to make a cup of tea. She was wearing very short shorts and a T-shirt stretched over her enormous breasts. He blushed as soon as he saw her, as though she could read his mind, and he had his manuscript with him. Arthur had gone to take a nap, and Peter was going to work on his manuscript by hand. He had left his vintage typewriter at Arthur’s house. It was too cumbersome to carry, and he had nowhere to set it up here. He had mentioned earlier that he never wrote on a computer, and loved his typewriter.
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