Meredith thought more about it over the weekend, and told Charles on Sunday night.
“I’m going to New York for a few days,” she said quietly.
“I wish I could go with you, but I can’t,” he said regretfully. It was getting close to Christmas, and his work always heated up then, finding the right security agents to accompany his celebrity clients to their holiday destinations. “Are you going for fun? A little Christmas shopping?” He had a feeling it was something more serious and he was right.
“I might do that too.” She smiled and kissed him. “I’ll tell you about it when I get back.”
“It sounds mysterious.” His curiosity was piqued, but he could see that she didn’t want to talk about it. She booked a ticket for Tuesday, and told him she’d be back Thursday or Friday, depending on how it went. Or she might turn around and come back in twenty-four hours.
She thought about it on the flight east, and she had promised to bring Daphne a surprise. They were excited about Christmas, and this year they didn’t need to worry about their father ruining it. Andrew was refusing to plead guilty, and was still at the locked psychiatric facility, being evaluated.
Meredith checked into the Four Seasons hotel in New York, and then she called her. She wondered how many days it would take to reach her, but it only took three tries. Kendall sounded surprised to hear her mother’s voice when she called from the hotel phone. They hadn’t spoken in three months. She hadn’t called back after the first time, after the earthquake, which didn’t surprise Meredith. She told Kendall she was in New York, and there was silence on the line. It was very different from Julia’s jubilant reaction in L.A.
“Would you like to have lunch or dinner, if you have time?” Meredith asked her. Kendall was like an animal in the wild. You couldn’t approach too quickly, or make her feel cornered. Like a panther or a leopard that would attack if you did. Or just walk into the brush and disappear.
“I think I can do lunch tomorrow,” she said coolly. “I’ll text you, I have to check. What are you doing in New York?” Kendall knew her mother hadn’t been there in fifteen years, and didn’t sound pleased to hear her.
“I had some things to do.”
An hour later, Kendall texted her, and said she could make it for noon the next day at Harry Cipriani at the Sherry-Netherland. She had purposely picked a place where it would be loud and hard to talk. Intimacy was not Kendall’s forte.
Meredith spent a quiet night at the hotel, thinking about what she wanted to say the next day. She called Charles to tell him she had arrived safely, and sent Julia a text to say hello. She got an instant response from Julia, saying hi and sending her love.
Meredith was waiting at the restaurant at noon the next day when Kendall arrived. She was wearing a serious black dress, pearls, and a mink coat, which aged her. She had grown up to be the society matron she wanted to be. And just as she had rejected who Meredith was, now Julia was rejecting her. It was the nature of life. Meredith hugged her and Kendall seemed awkward and stiff.
They were halfway through lunch before Meredith broached the reason she had come.
“I came to tell you that I love you. That however hard it’s been for us to connect, however many mistakes you feel I made, whether I did or not, I love you. That’s all. I know you’re angry that I blamed your father for Justin’s death. I don’t hate him for it. I think it’s sad that he let him go out in the boat alone. But destiny is what it is. And you were angry about the divorce, but that wasn’t my doing.”
“You could have let him come back,” Kendall said, her eyes still full of black fire.
“He never wanted to, Kendall. He wanted to marry Silvana. He told me that when he left. And once Justin died, it was a moot point, but I wouldn’t have taken him back anyway. The affair with Silvana had been too public. He wanted to burn all his bridges behind him, and he did. He’s still married to her so he can’t be too unhappy. You may have wanted him to, but he never wanted to come back to me.”
“Maybe if you’d been around more he wouldn’t have had the affair.” It was still a heated topic for her fifteen years later. Meredith doubted it would have been as heated with Scott. They had gotten over it. Kendall never had. The sack on her back was so full and heavy with past grievances that she had no room in it for forgiveness or love. Meredith wanted to help her empty it now, if that was possible, for Kendall’s sake, and Julia’s, and her own.
“Maybe you’re right. But his affair with Silvana, and how he conducted it, was his responsibility, not mine. In spite of it, I was fighting the divorce, but when Justin died, I knew I couldn’t forgive him for that, so I filed. I couldn’t stay with a man I couldn’t forgive. It would have been wrong and unfair to him.”
“Would you have stayed married to him otherwise?” she asked her pointedly.
“I don’t know. I don’t think he’s ever regretted the divorce, and I’m comfortable now. It was never your battle. You were a married woman with a child of your own when we divorced. We didn’t ruin your life. You had us at our best when you were a child.”
“If you can call it that. You were gone all the time, being a big movie star.”
“So was he. We alternated, equal time away. Why did that end up on my scoreboard and not both of ours? Why me?”
“I wanted you to be different than you were,” she said honestly. She had never admitted it before. “I wanted you to be like all the other mothers, not different and special, with everyone asking you for an autograph wherever we went.” Meredith nodded. She couldn’t change that now, or even then. “And by the time you gave it all up and went into seclusion, I didn’t care. It was too late for me.”
“I retired because of your father and Justin, not for you. I can’t sell you on how hard I tried to be there for you when I was working, and I won’t try. If it wasn’t enough for you, that’s fair. You have the right to feel that.”
“Why are you doing this now?” Kendall asked her, still angry. “Are you sick?” Her mother was shocked by the question.
“No, I’m not. I wanted to clear the air, to give us a chance to be friends, or whatever you want to be. We don’t have to. We can stay just as we are now. I miss having a daughter, and a real relationship with you. And maybe you miss having a mother. I wanted to give us that chance.” And Kendall would never have done it. Meredith knew it was up to her, and was willing to try.
“I have Julia and George,” Kendall said harshly. “I don’t need you. You weren’t what I needed when I was young, and I don’t need you now.” It was a cruel thing to say, as Meredith looked her in the eye, but it was who Kendall was, and had always been, even as a child. She’d had a mean streak even as a little girl, and was harsh, except with her brother.
“I guess that makes it clear. Be careful you don’t do the same thing to Julia you’ve done to me, shutting her out.”
“If she’s not up to my standards, I will,” she said coldly.
“You’re not building cars, you’re talking about a mother and daughter. That’s a special relationship.” She was giving her every chance to reach out and she wouldn’t, and Meredith suddenly understood what Kendall had said to Julia, that it was too late. It wasn’t too late for Meredith. It was too late for her. She didn’t want to repair it. She had closed the door on her mother years before. Meredith looked at her. She didn’t feel defeat or despair, she felt pity for her. For whatever the reason, Kendall was someone who couldn’t forgive, and couldn’t love. You had to be able to forgive in order to love. She didn’t have it in her. She had rocks in her soul. Her mother had given her every chance to connect, and she could see now that Kendall didn’t intend to. Meredith meant nothing to her. She wondered if, when her brother had died, part of her had died too. Or all of her.
They both left their lunches unfinished, and Meredith paid the check. She understood now what Julia was up against, why she h
ad fled to L.A., as her father had encouraged her to do. He was saving his daughter from his wife. She felt sorry for all three of them.
They walked out of the restaurant together, and Meredith looked at her gently. “I don’t know if you can hear it, but I do love you.” She had suffered so much when she lost Scott and Justin that it had increased the capacity of her heart. And with her lack of compassion and forgiveness, Kendall’s had shrunk. Kendall just looked at her mother and shook her head.
“I can’t, Mom. I’m sorry.” Then she turned and walked away. She was a bitter woman. Meredith wondered if she’d ever hear from her again. Every contact between them for years now had been forced. Kendall really didn’t want a relationship with her. It was a strange feeling as she walked back to the hotel. She wasn’t sorry she’d come. In an odd way, it was like a viewing, where you look at the body one last time before they close the casket. But it’s no longer the person you knew and loved. It’s just an empty shell.
She went to her room, and changed her reservation from Friday to the last flight of the day to San Francisco. She sent a text to Charles to tell him she was coming home. She had only been gone a day, and wasn’t in the mood to shop. And she sent a text to Julia that said only “I love you. Grandma.” It was all she needed to know, and the only thing she needed to hear. They had bridged the generations when they met in L.A. Kendall couldn’t do that, with either of them. She just didn’t have it in her. The tragedy was Kendall’s, not theirs. And they had each other now. She had lost Kendall, but she had found Julia.
* * *
—
Charles was waiting for her at the airport when she arrived. She hadn’t expected him to be there, and he could see in her eyes that something had happened. He didn’t want to ask unless she volunteered.
“Short trip,” he said as he took her bag from her, and they walked through the airport to baggage claim. It was late in San Francisco, and later in New York.
“I went to see Kendall,” she said on the ride home.
“I thought it might be that. How was it?” He hated to ask, but she looked peaceful and strong, so he hoped it had gone well.
“It was the way she needed it to be, and maybe I did too. We needed closure.” He nodded, and Meredith didn’t say more. She realized now that she had lost Kendall years before. She didn’t feel loss now. She felt free from the pain her daughter had inflicted on her for years.
Chapter 15
When Daphne came down to breakfast the next morning, there was a little pink teddy bear next to her place at the breakfast table, and an even smaller one next to it.
“What’s that?” she asked with a big smile.
“I promised you a surprise from New York,” Meredith reminded her. “The bigger one is for you, and the tiny one is for Martha.”
“She’s going to love it!” Daphne picked them both up and held them. And next to Will’s place there was a Yankees baseball cap. They both thanked her. It was the only shopping she had done in New York, at the airport. She didn’t want to disappoint the children.
She had done the rest of her Christmas shopping before she left San Francisco.
She and Charles were celebrating Christmas early. He was going to spend the holiday with his daughter and her family in Texas. Meredith felt that it was the wrong time for her to go. She didn’t want to intrude on their family Christmas. She and Charles were going to visit her for a weekend in the next few months. His son, Jeff, had just been transferred to Germany, and they were going to visit him later in the year. And Charles was coming back to spend New Year’s Eve with her. They were going to Napa, to his little house.
Julia was meeting her father in Aspen, to go skiing. Her mother wasn’t coming. Julia said she hated holidays and didn’t ski, and she didn’t like Aspen. Meredith hadn’t told her about her trip to New York and didn’t intend to. It was between her and Kendall.
She gave a dinner for the earthquake group before Charles left. Arthur was flying to Japan for a concert the day after Christmas. Peter and Ava were going to Tahoe while he was away, and Tyla and her children would be spending Christmas with Meredith.
They all toasted the earthquake that had brought them together, and exchanged small thoughtful gifts.
Meredith had a wonderful Christmas with Tyla and her kids. In the end, it was a peaceful, lovely Christmas. They went to mass on Christmas Eve, and ice-skating on Christmas Day in Union Square, and they made s’mores. Tyla and Meredith prepared the turkey together, and congratulated each other on how good it was. They watched Christmas movies with the children and ate popcorn.
Charles called her and told her how much he missed her and couldn’t wait to see her. It was a very nice Christmas, nicer than any she had spent with Jack and Debbie.
When Charles came home on the morning of New Year’s Eve, they drove straight to the Napa Valley, and toasted each other with champagne at midnight. He had told his daughter, Pattie, that he was seriously in love with Meredith, and she was happy for him. They were going to visit her soon in the New Year. Charles assured Meredith that she was going to love Texas, and she believed him. So far everything he had said to her had been true. And she was excited to meet his children.
* * *
—
Julia came up from Los Angeles in the second week of January, after she got back from Aspen. She was startled to realize that Tyla and her children were living there, and Meredith explained the situation to her. Julia liked her, and got along with her better than with her own mother. Tyla was starting her refresher course at USF nursing school in February, and her courses to become a nurse practitioner in September.
Julia sank into the comforts of her grandmother’s home like it was a giant featherbed. She pitched baseballs at Will in the back garden, and helped Daphne dress her dolls, and she had loved Charles when she met him. She said again that he reminded her of her father. They were both very kind men.
Meredith was thrilled to have her there. Julia stayed for a long weekend, and promised to come back again soon, and she meant it. Even though the others weren’t related to them, it felt like a family being with them. Ava, Peter, and Arthur came to meet her. She liked them a lot too. She loved the fact that her grandmother had created a world where people felt loved and at home. Her house felt like a warm embrace now that Debbie and Jack were gone.
And a week after Julia’s visit, Meredith got a shock when she opened her morning paper. It was a small article several pages in, about a couple who had taken a job as property managers of a well-known estate in Woodside, near San Francisco. They had masterminded an art and jewelry heist, and hired thugs to do it, who had tied up the other employees. Over twenty million in art, jewelry, and personal property had been taken. An informer had told the police. Everything had been recovered, and the two ringleaders were now in custody without bail. Meredith stared at the names in disbelief. It was Debbie and Jack. They had obviously become desperate or overambitious, and it hadn’t worked, and now they would both go back to prison, as they deserved. She showed it to Charles that night, and all she could think was how lucky she was that they hadn’t stolen more, although she probably would never know everything that was gone.
* * *
—
The call from Sarah Gross, Julia’s agent, came in the first week of February. She apologized for calling Meredith directly, but she had looked it up and discovered that Meredith didn’t have an agent. She didn’t even have a Screen Actors Guild card anymore. She didn’t need one.
“Julia asked me to call you,” Sarah explained to her. “She just got a part in a movie she’s very excited about. I think this is going to be a big career step for her. She wants me to send you the script.”
“I’d love to see it,” Meredith said, excited for her. “Do you know who else is in it?” Sarah reeled off an impressive list of names. The stars were major box office draws. “Does she have
an ingénue role?” It was what she’d expect at her age.
“She’s the co-star,” Sarah said proudly. “She earned it fair and square at the audition. She was fabulous. Her acting classes have paid off. She’s grown a lot.”
“By all means, send me the script, I’d love to read it.” It amused Meredith too that the director was an actress she had worked with years before. She was a director now, and a good one.
“I want to be honest with you,” Sarah said carefully. “We have an ulterior motive here. There’s a part in the movie for a somewhat older woman. She ties the whole story together. It’s a key character, and it will need a seasoned actress to pull it off.” She told her who they were considering, which told Meredith it was an important role. “The actress who plays it won’t be in the script for long. Possibly three weeks of shooting, but the scenes she’s in are key. Julia wants you to do it. You’re the right age, the right look, and God knows you have the talent. I know you haven’t worked in a long time, but Julia tells me her life’s dream is to work with you, at least on one film, and this one might be it. It’s a part that’s worthy of you, if you’ll do it. It’s a highly dramatic role. And if you don’t have an agent, I’d be happy to negotiate it for you. Because of your stature, I think I can get you top billing, or lead billing, ahead of the rest of the cast. It would be an extraordinary comeback if that interests you, or a cameo appearance your fans will never forget.” Meredith was stunned by what she said, and that Julia had suggested it. She was too startled to speak for a minute.
“I haven’t worked in years, nor wanted to. I’m not even sure I could still remember lines anymore. My skills aren’t exactly razor sharp after fifteen years in retirement.”
Neighbors Page 22