by Shyla Colt
“If this is about him being an Aspie, I have plenty of my own experience. My brother was diagnosed in his teens—”
“Brother? I thought you were an orphan.”
The O-word hurts. “Well, yes, he was my foster brother, but we’ve formed our own family.”
“How quaint. So, you understand how their mind works.”
“I have an idea. No two people are the same, and Aspies are no different. When he’s getting overwhelmed, I can pick up on it and understand that he’s not rude. He has problems with social cues and tone.”
“And you think you can have a fulfilling relationship this way?”
“I’ve done it before.”
“So, you’re what ... an Aspie chaser?” Her nose wrinkles in disgust.
Her words sting. “No. I’m a neurotypical person not opposed to dating someone who’s neuro-diverse.”
“You saw a man with money who was an easy mark, and you took it. He’s an easy meal ticket for someone with very little to their name and no legacy to speak of.”
I take a step back, appalled.
“I sat back and watched this unfold last time. I won’t make that mistake again.”
“There’s plenty of things to like about Sam that have nothing to do with money.” I stand up straight. I know where I come from, and I’ve never let it dictate who I’ve become or where I’m headed.
“Right. Your record says you aren’t as upstanding as you pretend to be. Shoplifting with one of your foster friends.”
“Have you ever been hungry, Senator? I mean weak-kneed, dizzy, stomach eating itself starving? ’Cause I have, and I won’t feel sorry for doing what it took to feed myself and my family. Getting caught was the best thing that could’ve happened because it brought our case to the court’s attention, and we were re-homed somewhere safe. I know he has an ugly past with Allison. I’m not her, and I won’t be punished for her misdeeds.”
“You really should’ve gone into acting,” she drawls. “What’s it going to take? One-hundred thousand? One-hundred and fifty?” She pulls a checkbook out of her pocket.
Of course this bitch has pockets in her stunning, hand-made Christmas dress.
“I can write it out now. All I ask is that you let him down gently.”
“You are sickening. I can’t believe I ever looked up to you.”
“That’s politics.” Her brown eyes, so much like her son’s, flash with fierce anger. “This is family. I will do whatever is necessary to see them happy.”
“You should start by trusting your son to make his own decisions. If you’ll excuse me, I find I’m not in the mood for partying.” I rush past her, fighting back the tears.
Fleeing to the front of the house, I find my coat and stumble outside. I can’t go back in, but I refuse to make a scene. Closing my eyes, I call the one person I know won’t make a production out of picking me up or force me to talk.
“I need you. Please come get me.” My eyes burn. The cold wind beats at my face. All my hope for our future together goes up in flames. I would never ask anyone to choose between their parents and me. Not when I long for that incredibly precious connection.
“What happened?”
“I need to leave the party.”
“Where’s Sam?”
“Recharging inside. He got overwhelmed, and I don’t want to add to it and—”
“Have a meltdown?” Flynn says softly.
“Yes.”
“Okay. Send me the address. I’m coming.”
“Thank you, Flynn.” I should text Sam and explain. If I was braver, I’d march back to his bedroom and tell him myself. At the moment, my brain is full, and my heart is heavy. I don’t have the strength to fight, and I refuse to embarrass him or me. I won’t be fodder for the papers.
The cold has numbed my outsides to match my core by the time the black sedan drives up. I rush to the passenger door and slip inside.
“Does he know you’re leaving?” Flynn asks.
“No.”
“You need to tell him, so he doesn’t panic.”
“What do I say?”
“If you lie now, you’re going to pay for it later.”
Biting my lip, I nod as my fingers fly over the phone.
Delta: Emergency situation came up. I’m getting a ride back home. We’ll talk tomorrow. Please don’t leave the party for me. I didn’t want to cause a scene.
Sam: Are you okay?
Delta: I will be.
... The text lines continue to appear and disappear.
Sam: We’ll talk tomorrow.
I let my head fall back against the headrest. “Please drive.” The tears fall, waving my vision as a hairline fracture snakes its way through my heart.
Once home, my heels click over the shoveled and salted walkway that leads up to the house. All I want to do is bury myself in my bed and sleep away the pain. I unlock the door and curse at seeing Duncan and Rose snuggled up on the couch.
“What are you going home this early?” Duncan asks.
“What happened?” Rose stands.
I see her concerned expression, and my composure breaks. Tears flow anew as I tell them about his mother and the conversation on the balcony.
“Oh. She is not getting away with this,” Rose growls.
“That’s bullshit, Little Bit. Please tell me you know that.” Duncan hugs me to his chest as Rose strokes my hair.
I hiccup.
“I-I don’t fit into his world.”
“That isn’t his world.” Flynn’s quiet voice cuts through the air in the room like a samurai sword. “We tend to live in our heads. Our perception is different. Finding people we can trust, who accept us as we are is rare. You’re good at that. I can see why you’ve become his person. I was ... jealous. But even I can see how happy he’s made you. Don’t punish him for his mother’s ignorance.”
“How can I place myself between them?”
“She did that. Not you,” Rose says.
“I don’t know,” I whisper.”
“Come on, let’s warm you up with some hot chocolate while I talk sense into you.” Rose leads me over into the kitchen, and I do my best to turn my brain down.
SAM
“Where’s Delta?” Dad asks as we meet up in the crowded room.
“I don’t know. She said there was a family emergency and she had to leave.”
Dad’s eyebrows come together. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m not sure. She said we’d talk tomorrow.”
“Funny, your mother didn’t mention that to me after they spoke on the balcony.”
“What?”
“Delta didn’t tell you?”
“No?” It didn’t feel right. Why would she leave after talking to my mother? What had she said to her? Mom could be ruthless when she wanted to be, and she’d made her feelings about Delta clear.
“Dad?”
“I’m one step ahead of you. Meet me in the second parlor. We’ll get to the bottom of this together.”
I make my way to the side of the house, closed to guests. The couch holds no appeal. I pace back and forth, waiting for them to appear. I’m snapping my fingers by the time my mom and dad enter.
The door closes behind him, and Dad turns to face her. “What did you do, Kathleen?” he barks.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Harrison,” she snaps.
“Delta left. She said she had an emergency.”
My mother blinks, shocked. “H-How unfortunate.”
“Don’t try to pull that with us. I know you said something to that girl.”
“I simply asked her what her intentions were toward you, Sam. It’s not my fault she didn’t take that well.”
“What did you say to her?”
“I asked her what she knew about people like Sam, and she admitted she’d dated one. Do you want some Aspie chaser toying with his emotions?”
They continue to argue back and forth. The ugliness of their actions and the volume of thei
r voices increases. Hearing what she said to Delta makes me sick to my stomach. No wonder she left. I would’ve, too. Anger rises inside of me, and my head grows staticky. I tug at my hair.
“Sam. Don’t do that.” My mother’s voice sounds far away. Her touch is the last thing I want. I jerk away when she rubs my arm. I flap my fingers. It’s been a long time since I was this triggered. The intense feeling of helplessness, coupled with my outrage at my mother’s behavior on top of being overextended from socializing, has me at a tipping point.
“Can’t you see you’re making things worse? You’re agitating him.”
I pace back and forth, trying to regain my peace. There’s too much noise, too much emotion, too much everything.
“We can’t let him be seen like this,” Mother hisses.
“You think that’s our biggest concern?” my father yells.
“Keep your voice down, Harrison.”
I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.
“It’s okay, son. Everything will be fine.” I’m caught in a storm I can’t navigate. I continue to pace and snap, trying to sink deeper into the sensations I’m familiar and comfortable with. I’m vaguely aware of the door closing.
“Sam.” Her voice is a soothing balm amid chaos. Small hands grip my forearms. “Sam. I’m here. Feel my hands on your arms. Listen to my voice. Breathe with me.”
She places one of my hands onto her chest. The steady beat and her exaggerated breaths help me navigate out of the roaring storm inside of my brain. I focus on matching her breaths. In and out. I inhale deeply, bringing her now familiar citrus sunshine into my nostrils.
“Breathe with me. Like that. In and out for counts of four. From the belly.”
Little by little, I return to myself. I blink and see her face.
“Hey. You back with me?” she whispers.
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just left. Once I thought about it, I-I came back.”
I lean down and press my forehead to hers. She wraps her arms around me, and I pull her body to mine. Her warmth seeps into me. I tighten my grip, fighting against the desire to fade away once more.
“This was a bad one, huh?”
I nod.
“That was amazing.”
I turn my head to see my father. “Dad, I don’t want to see Mom again tonight.”
He nods his head. “I understand, son.”
“Do you want to go?” Delta whispers.
“Stay with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Why don’t we hide out in your room, hmm?”
I nod my head, weary.
“I’ll show you to his room. No one else is supposed to come to this side of the house.”
I lift her up, and she wraps her legs around my waist. I’m not going to let her go for a second.
“That’s one way to travel.” I can hear the amusement in Dad’s voice. It’s the first time I can remember him sticking by me through an entire meltdown. I’ll remember that moving forward. He opens the door, and I step inside.
“I’ll make sure you guys aren’t bothered tonight.”
“Thank you, Harrison.” She buries her fingers in my hair, raking her nails along my scalp.
I sink down onto my bed, melting under her attention. Burying my nose in her neck, I surround myself in her scent. It’s silent. I find myself drifting off. She pulls away, and I tighten my grip.
“It’s okay. We’re going to lie down.”
Spent, I let her push me down onto the bed and remove my shoes. I’m lethargic. It feels like I’ve run a marathon. My eyes drift shut.
“Go to sleep. I’m going to steal some of your clothes from the dresser and join you.”
The blackness of sleep begins to take me. I feel her slip into bed beside me, and I surrender to the darkness, content.
THE LIGHT STREAMING through the window makes me groan. I cover my eyes with my arm. “Morning, sunshine.”
I roll over, and Delta smiles at me. She’s beautifully mused in one of my school sweatshirts. Her bedhead makes me smile.
“Morning.”
“How do you feel?”
“Like I have a hangover.”
She winces. “I’m sorry.”
“No. I’m sorry that happened. Whatever Mom said ...” I shake my head. “I don’t feel that way.”
“I know.” She runs her fingers through my hair. “Once I had a chance to calm down, I realized that immediately.”
“You stayed,” I whisper.
She smiles. “I told you I was all in, didn’t I?”
“I didn’t want you to see me like that.” I shake my head.
“It happens. I was a mess myself, to be honest.”
She’s seen me at my worst, and yet she’s still here. I cup her face and bring her lips to mine. Devouring her, I pour all the emotions I can never fully explain into the lip lock. Whimpering, she yields to me. I roll her onto her back and slip my tongue inside. I want to brand her as mine. Parting for air, I study her swollen lips as I catch my breath.
“Is this some fantasy? Having your girlfriend in your childhood bed.”
“Yes.” I pin her arms above her head.
She playfully arches against me, pressing her hips to mine.
“I want you.”
“Then have me. But you’d better be careful not to wake your parents. I don’t think they’d like what we’re doing in here.”
Blood surges to my cock. “What I’m going to do to you isn’t to be done silently.”
“Then I guess you’d better find a way to keep me quiet.” She wiggles, and I pull back, releasing her wrists as I tug my shirt over her head. Her dime-sized brown nipples stand at attention, protruding from the ample mounds of her breast. I cup them, admiring the weight as I bend down to suck one of the stiff peaks into my mouth. Moaning, she tugs on my hair. I release her with a pop and flick the tip of one then the other with my tongue.
“Shh.”
She shoves her fist into her mouth. I growl at the sight of her hair spilling in her face, eyes wide. Kissing my way between the valley of her breasts to her belly, I pause at the tiny, black thong with strategically placed rhinestones. I inhale her honeyed musk and lick her lips through the fabric. She bucks. I suck her lips, circling her clit through material. Her slickness leaks out, dampening her panties as I continue. Breathing hard, she rocks up against me. I press down on her waist. I hear her muffled, “No,” and chuckle. Pulling back, I blow on her wet core.
Her body shakes. I grab the strap with my teeth and pull the panties down her legs. Kneeling between her legs, I toss her legs over my shoulders. I plunge my tongue into her depths. Her body bucks off the bed. I press her down once more with my hand splayed over her stomach. She closes her thighs around me, capturing me. Lost in the salty-sweet flavor, I alternate between circling her walls with my tongue and nudging her clit with my nose. Writhing in the bed, she fights my hold, trying to ride my tongue.
“Uh, uh.”
She squeals as my bass vibrates through her body. I move back. She cries out in protest.
“Shh. I have to make sure you’re ready for me. That means you have to be soaking wet.” I circle her clit, and she pants. I slip one finger in, and her eyes drift shut. Her walls clutch at me. “You’re so tight, baby. I’m going to stretch that pussy out until its shaped just for me.” I slip my finger in and out and tongue her clit as I set the pace. Her smothered whimpers and moans have my cock twitching. Pre-come leaks from the tip. Her walls flex and release, hungry for more. I suck her bud between my lips, and she goes off like a rocket, gushing into my mouth as I crook my finger and hit the hardened spot inside of her that keeps her orgasm going. My name on her lips is an addictive experience. Her fist falls from her lips as she clutches the sheets.
I add another finger into her tight entrance, pushing the slippery nectar back inside as I scissor my fingers, stretching and massaging, never letting her come fully down. “I need more from you, baby. Come
one more time, and I’ll fill you like you want.”
“Sam,” she whines.
“That’s it.” I remove my hand. “Ride my fingers.” Her hips snap up, and I grunt, thinking of how good she’ll feel around me. She’s beautiful, legs stretched out wide to fit me, as her toffee-tinted skin glistens with a thin shin of sweat. Her heavy-lidded eyes are glossy and full of want.
“I-I’m going to.”
“Fuck yes, baby.” I circle her clit, and she cries out, covering her mouth as she creams over my fingers. I pull back and rip off my clothes. “Look at me.” She lifts her eyes to mine as I press against her skin to skin. I slip between her sodden lips. “You ready for me, baby?”
“Yes, Sam.”
“Watch me fill you.” I line my tip up and join our fingers as I slip inside of her slowly. She flexes around me, and I swear as I pull back. “So fucking tight. How am I going to fit in this tiny pussy?”
“More, babe,” she pleads.
“More?” I push in deeper and pull back, watching as I disappear into her depths. Fully seated, I pause to let her get used to me as I think about cold water and dirt to keep from exploding inside of her. “I fit like you were made for me, babe.”
“I was.” She sobs. “You fill me so good.”
I tense. “You okay?”
“Yes. It’s a lot. Good but a lot.”
Moving out, I return as we catch a rhythm. Together we climb, no longer worried about being heard as we become one in the most intimate way possible. She pushes her legs up around my hips. I groan as I sink deeper. Unable to keep it slow and steady, I pick up speed, pounding into her. Her nails bury into the flesh of my back. Pleasure explodes through me. Our skin slaps together, and her heels dig into my lower back. A tingle starts in my spine. My stomach muscles flex.
“I’m close,” she whines.
“Come for me, baby. Take me with you.”
Arching her backs, she grips me tight with her thighs and her pussy. I’m exploding, spilling into her as she quivers. Spent, I collapse on her, catching most of my weight on my arms. Slowly coming down to earth, I slide to the side.
“Okay?” she whispers.
“Yes. Just ... need some space.”
“Hmm.” She nods, accepting my needs as she relaxes.