I didn’t see Edward though. Nor the king or queen.
Other than Josephine, who I knew would be in attendance since I’d passed her in the hall yesterday, I wouldn’t know anyone in attendance. Inside were some of the oldest, wealthiest families in Norland, alongside foreign diplomats and dignitaries from countries near and far.
My hands fluttered to my stomach as a dizzying dose of nerves hit me.
“Charlotte?” One familiar face appeared beside me, looking almost as uncomfortable in his tux as I was in my dress. Dr. Fleming’s permanent crease between his brows deepened. “Are you feeling all right?”
Dropping my hands, I stood up straighter. “I’m fine. Just nervous.”
“About the ball?” The doctor’s eyes grazed me, still checking me over despite my reassurances.
“Partly,” I said, continuing down the remaining stairs.
“Have you seen Edward yet?” he asked, scooting closer.
My head shook. “Not yet. That’s who I’m looking for right now.”
I was about to continue my search when the doctor shifted. “Would you like my help?”
My hand smoothed down my stomach absently. A part of me wanted any help I could get, but I also knew this was something I had to do on my own. “I’ll be okay, but thank you. Enjoy the ball.”
“If you need anything, you know how to get a hold of me,” Dr. Fleming called before trudging inside the ballroom, looking like a toddler being forced to take a bath.
“Look at you all elegant and shit.” Someone shouldered up beside me, giving a low whistle.
I didn’t have to look to know who it was.
“Handing out compliments like that? It’s astounding you don’t have a girlfriend.” Half a smile formed as I nudged Frederick. “Did you and the other two squatters finally get kicked out?”
He winked at a young woman as we passed. She didn’t return his sentiments.
“Please. We have, like, lifetime memberships to the royal dwellings squatter club, but we had to support our boy. The other two dildos are around here somewhere.”
“The way you say that makes it sound like you’re showing your support for a friend who’s going to a job interview, not a friend who’s about to become the twenty-second king in our country’s history.”
Frederick spread his arms wide, flashing that mischievous smile my direction. “It’s a gift. How are you doing, Lady Rapunzel, locked in her tower to protect her from the vicious world?”
I paused inside the doorway leading into the Grand Ballroom, scanning the bodies milling about. I was so focused on finding Edward, I barely noticed how stunning the scene was. “I’m this close to scaling the castle walls to escape.”
“That great, eh? I’m guessing Queen Mommy isn’t making life easy for you?”
My shoulder moved. “She wants what’s best for her son. I get it.”
“And who says you’re not what’s best for him?” Frederick motioned at me.
“Anyone who has a fully functioning brain,” I muttered.
“You really are crazy,” he scoffed. “I see why Edward’s thirst runs so deep.”
“Aren’t there any other girls you can annoy besides me?”
“Point taken. Message received.” Frederick flashed a salute before backing into the ballroom. “Let’s all link up after this BoreFest. You bring the future ruler, I’ll bring the cheap beer.”
“Can’t wait.” I exhaled, catching sight of a familiar top of a head milling through the crowd. The crowd around him was gathering the deeper he wound into the room.
Something inside my chest fluttered when I saw him in his royal suit, complete with a sheathed sword hanging at his side. He’d been gone for nearly as many weeks as we’d known each other. It was crazy that I could feel the way I did about him. It didn’t seem natural. Or wise.
He somehow caught sight of me hovering in the doorway, but being the practiced prince he was, his conversation with the graying man beside him didn’t miss a beat. His gaze shifted to the back of the room, where the waitstaff was milling in and out of a staff entrance.
Wasting no time, I whisked toward the door, my heart thundering by the time I ducked past the swinging door. I backed into a shadowed corner out of the way and waited.
Each time the door swung open, my breath caught and the corners of my mouth lifted, but it was only another server rushing back into the kitchen to restock their tray. When five minutes passed, I was about to peek out to make sure there wasn’t some other semi-private hideaway Edward had been indicating, but then the door flung open once more.
Edward almost immediately noticed me hovering in the shadows, tucked out of sight and out of the way. His drawn expression fell, relaxing. He ducked into the corner with me, his arms winding around me as though it were a reflex.
His head lowered beside mine, holding me close. “Finally,” he whispered.
My grip on the outsides of his arms tightened as I allowed myself a moment to melt into him. Everything was right again. The world was right.
I wanted to freeze this moment.
“How did the meeting go with your dad?” I asked, tucking us deeper into the corner when a couple of servers stumbled through the door. They seemed too busy to notice us, but I didn’t want to take any chances of being interrupted.
“Good.” The gentle rumble of his voice echoing against my chest made my skin prickle. “Probably the first one we’ve had that didn’t end with heated words.”
“So you’re absolutely positive?” I asked.
“I am. This past month opened my eyes to what’s involved and required of a king. I also realized how much more can still be done. It’s been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, but that’s how I know I’m making the right one.”
I studied the array of medals and ribbons attached to the breast of his jacket. Standing there in his ceremonial dress, he looked the part of a king. His drawn brow, clear eyes, and strong jaw only further served to remind me of his future.
“You’ll be an amazing king. I’m happy for you.” My thumb brushed the copper medal with the black and green ribbon attached. It was cold, unyielding.
Edward lowered his head, studying my expression. His forehead creased. “You don’t look happy.”
Looking away, I shook my head. “It just . . . makes everything more difficult.”
“No, it doesn’t.” His hands gripped my elbows. “As prince, I wanted to be with you. As king, I’ll want to be with you. Nothing will change where our relationship is concerned.”
“Not only that.” My stomach tightened when I tried to take a full breath. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”
“And I’ve got a million things to tell you and catch up with you on too, and I’m all yours just as soon as this thing is over.” His head turned toward the door. “If I’m not out there in two minutes to kick off this thing, my father’s final act as king will be throwing me in the stockades.”
I grabbed his hand when he pulled back. “This can’t wait any longer.”
The amused light in his eye extinguished. “Then, please”—his throat moved when he swallowed—“tell me.”
My mind went numb for a minute. The words were simple ones. Their significance anything but.
Taking one of his hands, I lifted my eyes to his. “I’m pregnant.”
There was the slightest of creasing at the outside corners of his eyes. That was all. “What?”
“I’m pregnant,” I repeated, a little louder.
“I heard you,” he said, blinking at the wall behind me. “I’m just having a hard time understanding. Are you sure?”
My eyebrows peaked into my hairline. “Kind of a difficult thing to be unsure of. Especially after peeing on a stick, a blood test, missing a period, and an ultrasound.”
His head moved in acknowledgment, his expression infuriatingly blank. He glanced over his shoulder and lowered his voice. “Who else knows?”
“Other than me and now you, only Dr. Fleming.”<
br />
“And it’s mine?”
The corners of my eyes burned. This was not how I’d pictured this going. This was not how I’d pictured my life going.
“Did you seriously just ask me that question, Edward Royston?” The words tumbled from my lips, my head falling to keep him from seeing the emotion hemorrhaging into my eyes.
“I know. I’m sorry. It’s just a lot to take in.” His hands fell away from me, his voice a barely discernable whisper. “And there are endless more complications to getting a girl pregnant when you’re me.”
The word turned my stomach more sour than it already was. “Complications?”
“You said you were taking birth control,” he continued, not hearing me.
“I was. It’s called birth control, not guarantee.”
He was quiet for a moment. I had no idea what he might have been thinking. “We only had sex once.”
My fingers rubbed my forehead, trying to think of what I could say to get him to understand I was carrying his child, and as responsible human beings, we needed to decide what we were going to do about that. Together.
“You took sex ed, right?” I asked, recalibrating my tone when I detected its sharpness. “I don’t know what kind of curriculum those fancy private schools teach, but I’m guessing some baby-making subject matter was covered?”
His footstep echoed when he fell back a step. “It’s just . . . a lot.”
“Tell me about it,” I murmured, swiping at my eyes before looking him in the eyes again. “I just told you I’m pregnant, Edward. With your child.”
“I know. And I’m sorry I’m not reacting the way you want me to be.” His tone bore no inflection, his eyes no emotion.
“I don’t want you to react any certain way. I’d just like you to . . . show some kind of reaction.” My arms thrust at him, wondering why he wasn’t freaking out like I had when Dr. Fleming confirmed what my “bug” was. Why wasn’t he losing his ever-loving mind right now?
“This would be so much simpler if I wasn’t who I am.” His head turned to the side, his jaw setting.
My first tear fell. “But isn’t what you really mean is, it would be so much simpler if I wasn’t who I am?”
I waited for him to confirm it. His inability to look at me all I needed.
“You’re busy. I’ll let you get back to your life. I’ll get back to mine.”
Chapter 21
The future was cloudier than it had been when I set out on this whole soul-searching experiment. I couldn’t see more than five minutes in front of me.
After leaving Edward and the ball last night, I spent the remainder of the night walking the castle grounds, finding solace in the dark and comfort in the silence.
At least now I knew. No more waiting. No more wondering what he’d say or how he’d react. I’d told him, and he’d made clear how he felt.
By the time the sun rose the next morning, I’d put together a plan that got me as far as tomorrow. After that? I didn’t know, but twenty-four hours was better than five minutes.
“I thought today was the big coronation.” Anne yawned, the sound of her pouring a cup of coffee coming through.
She didn’t know I was pregnant. She didn’t know about the conversation Edward and I had last night. I hated keeping her in the dark, but I couldn’t tell anyone that I was pregnant with the future king’s son until I myself knew what I was going to do about it.
“It is,” I said, throwing the last of my clothes from the dresser into my suitcase.
“So don’t you want to be there for it?”
“It’s not like my presence is required for him to become king. It’s going to be a long, drawn-out ceremony packed with ambassadors and lords I don’t know.” After tugging on my favorite sweatshirt over my overalls, I slipped my feet into my sneakers and grabbed my suitcase. “I need to bust out of this place for a bit. I feel like I’m suffocating.”
“And King Henry and Queen Helen gave you their permission to leave?”
“They’re not my parents.” Running back to the bathroom, I retrieved the bottle of prenatal vitamins Dr. Fleming had given me when he delivered the news. I didn’t need some random housekeeper finding them and selling yet another incendiary story to the media.
“No,” Anne scoffed. “Only your future in-laws.”
A pain rattled in my chest. “Not even you’re optimistic enough to believe that.”
“I take it your reunion last night with Edward wasn’t all roses and sunshine?”
“I think we’re both finally accepting the reality of the situation.” I sighed, chucking the bottle of vitamins in my purse.
“And what reality is that?” she asked.
“That we’re never going to work together.”
“I don’t accept that reality.” The sleepiness had burned off of Anne’s voice. “From everything you’ve told me, you two care about each other. You two love each other.”
A sharp sound rattled in my chest as I sneaked past the bedroom door. “Love only gets you so far.”
“And here I’ve been silly enough to believe that love is all you need.”
I grumbled softly, not wanting to make too much noise as I crept down the hallway. Most everyone would be convening in the Royal Hall for the coronation, but that didn’t mean the random employee or running-late guest wouldn’t discover me. “So can I hang at your place for a couple of nights? Just until I figure out what comes next?”
“You can stay at my place any time, any crisis, any duration. That’s written in the best friend code of conduct.”
“You’re the best.” I paused at the next stairway, listening for voices. “I should be there around dinnertime.”
“Lucky for you it’s Taco Saturday and not Leftover Sunday.” Anne made a kissing sound. “Safe travels.”
Tucking my phone inside my purse, I continued down the west hall, since I didn’t want to leave via the main doors. Not only did I risk running into any one of the dozens of duchesses hoping to snag the soon-to-be King Edward, but I also didn’t doubt security would stop me. I might not have been a prisoner, but it was an unsaid rule that I couldn’t leave.
After jogging down the last flight of stairs, I wound down the hall that led to the pool. I knew a door I could sneak out of there. Marching past the pool, I shoved through the exit door without hesitating. I’d made my decision to leave and wasn’t going to start second-guessing it halfway through.
“Looks like I’m not the only escapee.”
I jumped when I saw James leaning against the arbor outside, a cigarette dangling from his lips.
So much for evading detection.
“Shouldn’t you be at the coronation, supporting your friend?” I asked, moving the suitcase behind me when James’s gaze dropped to it.
“Shouldn’t you?” He took a long drag from his scrap of a smoke.
“You already know the answer to that.” When his hand flicked at his side, I explained. “I don’t belong here. I don’t fit in his life.”
A noise sputtered from his lips. “And here I was thinking you were this badass chick who didn’t give a flying fuck what anyone thought.”
I bit my lip. “That might be true, but I care what he thinks.”
When I moved to go around him, James stepped in my path. “Did Edward find you yet? Did you talk to him?”
“We said everything we needed to last night.” I yanked the cigarette butt dangling from his lips and stomped it out on the ground. Secondhand smoke wasn’t good for anyone, in vitro tiny humans included.
“After spending half the night with his brooding-ass self, I know for a fact he’s got more to say.”
My eyes rounded. “Did he tell you?”
“He said you guys got into an argument or something.”
My head shook. “It wasn’t an argument. It was more a conflict of interest.”
“So what? You guys hit your first speed bump and you’re calling it quits?” He motioned at my suitcase. “I thought you we
re made of tougher stuff, Everly.”
“This isn’t a speed bump. It’s not even close.”
When I sidestepped around him, he dodged in my path once more. My glower only made him grin.
“No? Then what is it?”
My head tipped. “A wrecking ball.”
Faking right, I went left. It was like he’d been expecting it.
“That’s three times I’ve tried to block some sense into you. There won’t be a fourth.”
Pulling a packet of cigarettes from his back pocket, I snatched it from him and threw it off to the side. “Promise?”
“Shit, Charlotte.” James scrambled off to fetch his smokes. “Are you PMSing or what?”
As promised, he didn’t move to stop me a fourth time. Powering across the manicured lawn, I snorted. “You seriously do not want to joke with me about that right now.”
“Guess I hit close to the mark, eh?”
“I wish I was PMSing right now,” I said to myself through my teeth. I would literally take PMSing for a solid decade over being pregnant at twenty with the future ruler of Norland’s child.
If I kept it, how could I ever explain the story of his or her dad without lying through my teeth? How could I hide the fact I was pregnant for the next seven months so the media wouldn’t put two and two together?
What would I do next week? That was what I needed to focus on to stave off the panic attack.
Once I reached the massive wall running the perimeter of the castle grounds, I realized my plan had one pivotal flaw. I couldn’t very well climb a twelve-foot shrub wall, which was backed by a stone wall just as tall. I doubted I’d find some sliding door built into the wall either, so the only way out was the front gates.
Which were swimming with security on one side, media on the other. The only way out was to hitch a ride, stowaway in a trunk, or “temporarily borrow” one of the vehicles kept on the castle grounds.
To make the situation more challenging, the rumble of thunder crackled from the skies. I was literally drowning in luck.
Meandering down the wall for a few minutes, just in case any magical doors, ladders, or ropes had suddenly appeared, I gave up when the first splatters of rain peppered my face. Winter showers in Norland were more of a downpour than a sprinkle. Walking toward the main gates, I decided to try my luck at finding a taxi before I delved into grand theft auto.
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