Satan, Line One

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Satan, Line One Page 9

by M. J. Schiller


  A strong possibility existed I was acting the pure fool, but I was totally gobsmacked. She was a stunner.

  Sam smiled proudly. “You approve, Killian?”

  I managed to wag my head.

  She tugged Josephine along, and once at the bar, patted a stool. “Hop on up here, Josie. Let’s have us a drink.”

  Josephine struggled onto the stool, trying to manage her skirt as she shimmied on top.

  I shook my head. Then raised my glass in the ladies’ direction. I cleared my throat. “I’ll share with you this gem, which me Uncle Seamus taught me—may you live to be a hundred years…plus one extra year to repent.”

  “Yeah. We’ll probably be needing that extra year, huh, Dani?”

  Dani nodded, and they swallowed their lot.

  I made the error of looking Josephine in the eyes. Oh. Sweet. MaryandJoseph. She was wearing makeup that sparked the Erin green in them. It was a bit caked on, but it couldn’t hide her sheer beauty. I downed my shot without the usual clinking. I was needing the fortification. I was slain. Truly slain.

  Josephine winced slightly, but on the whole had a much milder reaction to the belt than the night previous.

  Sam grinned at her. “Nice. We’ll bring you to the dark side yet.”

  Dark side? Why were they talking about the moon?

  “Now. Let us return to our studies. Fill ’er up, barkeep.”

  I attended to their glasses in turn. If I were to be an honest man, I’d say I was taking my time so I could listen in more. Sam slid out her documents, which were becoming fierce mangled by whatever else she had shoved in that monstrosity she called a purse.

  “Okay. We’ve got the ‘go with friends’ down, the sexy clothes…ahh. Act confident.” She looked up from the papers. “The more relaxed and confident you are, it will reassure guys and they’ll be easier to talk to.”

  Josephine nodded her head and took a notation, but her sigh, along with the tilt of her head and tense shoulders, exuded anything but confidence. I was sorry for her. I don’t know why she felt the need to go along with Sam’s “teachings.” She weren’t no floozy. She was ideal the way she was. It was a bunch of malarkey, those tips of Sam’s. Not all men fell for the same thing. We’re not all eejits and marauders. Although, to be fair, most of us are.

  “Next…‘make eye contact.’ Okay—” She seemed excited by this; right up her street, I supposed. “—this is an important one. It can be hard to start a conversation cold…but if you’ve already been saying something with your eyes….” She lifted her brows.

  Those beautiful green eyes of Josephine’s could say anything and I’d be in for the cause.

  “It’s also the best way to gage a guy’s interest level. If he continues to exchange eye contact with you, it’s a green light.”

  “Um-hum.” The pitch of Josephine’s word was too high. Nerves, no doubt.

  Josephine gave me a gander and I threw her a wink. It seemed to cheer her some. Or maybe I was a bit touched and imaginin’ things.

  Sam continued going through her list. “Be ready with conversational material.” She twisted her head in my direction and I quickly pretended to be absorbed with whatever match was being waged on the screen behind the bar. “Whatcha watching, Killian?”

  Shite. She’s seen through me.

  “Well, I…um….”

  “See. Right there you have a conversation opener.” She looked at me again and creased her brow. “Although most guys are a bit more articulate than Killian, here.”

  I tilted my head and tried to give her a scalding look. “I’ll be takin’ none of your guff, missy.” But I smiled. I just couldn’t get my dander up where Sam was concerned. She suffered from a double dose of original sin, that one, but she had a heart of gold on her.

  Sam’s phone glowed and she took a second to look at a message. “So-o-o…” She finished reading, typed in something short, and took up the conversation again as if it hadn’t stopped. “If he’s not making the first move, be ready to make one of your own. ‘Can you take a picture of me and my friends,’ is always good.”

  Josephine looked taken aback. “I’m not sure I can do that.”

  Sam took another peek at her phone. “Of course you can. Or, if you have to, you can always lean on the old, ‘May I sit down?’ You can at least do that, right?”

  “Probably.” She scratched away on her notepad. “Got it.”

  “Okay, then.” Sam drew a deep breath. “Let’s review. You’ve prepared. You have your hot clothes on and have established eye contact. Next, you create conversation and meet the guy. Now you need to watch his body language to see if he’s still into you. Is he leaning away? Or has he turned in the other direction at all? Is he trying to continue the conversation, or are you getting only one syllable answers to everything?” She paused, twisting to sit more square to her pupil. She glanced at Dani, then back. “Now, if you get rejected, don’t let it upset you.”

  He’d be a damned fool.

  “It happens to everybody,” Dani added.

  “Almost everybody.” Sam took hold of Josephine’s hands as if to comfort her. “And it might not have anything to do with whether he finds you attractive or interesting at all—”

  Dani jumped in. “There could be hundreds of reasons.”

  Sam nodded. “Right.”

  “Maybe he’s tired.”

  “Yes, and—”

  “Maybe he’s not feeling well. Caught a bit of the stomach flu.”

  Sam took a deep breath but was cut off before she could say anything.

  “Maybe he’s gay. Maybe an ex is sitting on a stool next to you, and he doesn’t want a fight to break out—”

  “Maybe he’s an alien.” Sam frowned. “She gets it, Dani. No need to belabor the point.”

  There was a pause.

  “Maybe his mother is sick and in the hospital.”

  “Dani!”

  “Okay.”

  Anyone who wouldn’t be interested in Josephine would be as sharp as a beach ball and unworthy of her attention.

  The question remained, how did I get her attention? Or did I even stand a chance? A lowly bartender and a woman like that? It was a longshot.

  I grinned. I always took the longshots at the track, and they often paid out.

  Chapter 8

  Dani

  I was sorry for Josie. I remembered when I was Sam’s pet project, and it was an uncomfortable position. That reminded me of a tip Sam gave me at the time that I did find useful.

  I made another attempt to enter the conversation. “And…”

  Sam’s mouth hung open as she looked at me balefully. “What now?”

  “Never leave your drink alone.”

  Sam straightened. “Good point.”

  “Sam told me that once, a long time ago. I never even thought about the fact someone may want to slip something in my drink.”

  Jo’s eyes grew wide. “Oh. I wouldn’t have thought about that either. Thanks, Dani.”

  “And they have these straws you can buy that turn a different color if your drink was messed with,” Sam added.

  Josie looked like someone who was handed the secrets to the entire universe. “Really? Cool.”

  I caught movement and lifted my gaze. Beyond Sam’s shoulder, Kyle was approaching the bar. I raised my hand to call him over, and his gaze darted to Sam and Jo, who were still wrapped in conversation. He looked back at me, pointed to his neck, and made slashing motions. Then he ambled over to a stool a few feet down the bar and sat.

  A light went off.

  He and Sam are up to something.

  I realized Sam and Jo were no longer talking and glanced in their direction. They were both staring at me.

  “You got a question or something?” Sam asked with a frown.

  “What?”

  She nodded at my arm, which was still raised. I switched tactics and acted like I was stretching. “Oh, no. I’m a mite stiff, is all.” I faked a yawn, which turned into a real one
.

  Sam snorted. “Sorry to keep you awake, princess.”

  I glanced over again as Killian approached Kyle.

  “Welcome to Paddy’s. What can I do ya for?”

  “What do you have on tap?” Kyle replied loudly.

  Sam’s lips twitched and her eyes brightened. She turned back to the bar.

  Killian went into the long list of available brews. From time to time, his gaze wandered in our direction. Oh, shit. He wasn’t going to hit on Sam with Kyle here, was he?

  Kyle interrupted the beer litany. “I’ll take that.”

  Killian’s eyebrows rose. “You fancy a pint of the black stuff, do ya?”

  Kyle hesitated only a second. “I do. A Guinness,” he repeated, as if to make sure they were on the same page.

  “Now, that’s a good man. I’ll get you that as fast as an Irishman can order at closing time.” Killian walked off, though throwing another look our way.

  “So…” Sam scanned the room. “Let me give you a demonstration.” She nodded in Kyle’s direction. “I’ll use this guy here.”

  Ahh. This is going to be good.

  Samantha took her drink and sauntered over to Kyle.

  “Is anyone sitting here?” She indicated the stool next to his.

  Kyle swiveled in her direction and gave her a smile. “No. Not that I know of.”

  She slid onto the stool, and he turned back to the bar, glancing at the hockey game on the TV screen. He stuck his hand into a bowl full of bar mix between them, drew out a fistful, and munched on it.

  Sam set her phone on the bar and nodded at the mix. “Do you mind if I have some?”

  He frowned at her for a second, then reached across her for another bowl, which he set in front of her. “Here you go.” He returned his attention to the TV.

  Sam glanced at us and flashed an uneasy smile. This didn’t appear to be going the way she intended it to. She cleared her throat. Following Kyle’s gaze, she ventured, “Hockey fan?”

  He continued watching the screen. “You could say that. I’m a ref.”

  “Really?” She acted impressed.

  “Yup.” Kyle scooped up another handful of snack mix.

  “Uhh…at what level?”

  Kyle glanced at her. “NHL.”

  “Wow. That must be pretty exciting.”

  He shrugged. “It can be.” Killian approached with his beer. “Thanks.” Kyle handed over his card. “Keep it open.”

  Killian nodded, and looked at Sam. “Needin’ another, Samantha?”

  At the mention of her name, Kyle swirled toward her, placing his right arm on the bar.

  “I’m good.” I could see the gears turning in her head.

  Killian smiled. “Okay.” He tapped the bar in front of her. “Just let me know.”

  Kyle started in as soon as he walked away. “Come here often, do ya?”

  This seemed to catch her off guard. “What?”

  “Bartender knows your name.”

  “Oh, yeah. This is one of our favorite places.”

  “Hmpf.” He again faced forward, ignoring her to watch the game.

  Sam’s gaze flitted to us again and back.

  Kyle jumped a little, and his eyes got wide. Grimacing, he made a move to get more mix, but his bowl was empty. He glanced at hers. She moved it away from him, taking a handful as she did and stuffing it into her mouth with a defiant tilt of her chin. A half of a peanut landed on her plentiful chest. Before she could pick it off, Kyle bent toward her and—holy shit!—licked it off. Slowly. Sensually. It even did something for me.

  “Whoa,” Jo commented, transfixed. “She really knows her stuff.”

  I suppressed a giggle.

  Kyle lifted his head a fraction and gazed at Sam. She put a hand on his cheek and he straightened more. He’d just gotten back from a long road trip, and the hunger on his face was self-evident. They wouldn’t be sticking around long. Sam leaned in, and the next thing I knew, they were in a heavy, extremely passionate liplock.

  “Wow.” Jo turned to me. “Don’t you think that’s a bit forward?”

  I didn’t answer, watching the show. Sam did a hop, wrapping her arms around Kyle’s neck, her legs clenching his torso. Kyle didn’t act stunned. He supported her, and at the same time, rubbed his hands all over her tuchus.

  Killian came over to us, eyeing Sam and Kyle. He leaned an arm on the bar, speaking out of the side of his mouth. “The hubby?”

  “Yep.”

  Josie looked truly confused. “What?”

  “Kyle’s her husband.”

  She looked at them and back, her mouth still open.

  “She’s coddlin’ you, love,” Killian explained.

  She looked at me. “Messing with you.”

  Kyle came up for air and glanced over at Killian, his frown returning. “Who is this guy?”

  “Him?” Sam said innocently. Killian walked in their direction. “Oh. He’s my lover. Right, Killian?”

  Killian halted mid-stride. He indicated Kyle. “Is he your husband?”

  Sam nodded.

  “Then, no. I’m not your lover.”

  Kyle’s face brightened. He looked at Sam. “Killian? The Killian?”

  She grinned. “The one and only.”

  “Of Uncle Seamus fame?”

  “Yup.”

  Kyle motioned. “Come over here, man. I have to meet you.”

  Killian hesitated. “Are you going to brain me?”

  Kyle laughed. “Not tonight. Come on. We need to do a round of shots. I’ve got to hear one of your toasts.” He waved his arm. “Come over here, everybody.”

  Killian ambled over and shook his hand. “Glad to meet the man who can control this vixen.” He tipped his head at Sam.

  “Oh, no, brother. You’re giving me too much credit.” Kyle hauled her between his legs again. “This one’s uncontrollable.” He kissed her nose.

  Sam feigned modesty. “It’s my best trait.”

  Killian laughed. “Aye. I bet it is.” He put glasses on the bar, looking us over. “Who’s drivin’?”

  Josie and I went over to stand behind Sam and Kyle. “I can get Zoe to pick me up. Or, better yet, she’ll get us all, and we can share an Uber back tomorrow.”

  “I’ll drive myself,” Josie chimed in. “I’m switching to minerals.”

  “What?”

  Killian gave her a wink. “Gotcha.”

  I was confused until he poured her a soda. We all looked at her.

  “I’ve got to do…principally things tomorrow.”

  Sam looked like she was about to argue the point, but Killian jumped in. “Aye. You wouldn’t be wanting to do that with a hangover. Getting up would be murder.”

  Seeing Kyle must have softened Sam because she considered this. “We’ll let you get away with it this time, Compton. But next time, no…minerals, or whatever you called it.”

  She lifted her soda. “Deal.”

  When we all had our mini-glasses, we raised them and looked expectantly at Killian. Like a true showman, he drew the moment out. He looked at me.

  “Here’s to a long life, and a merry one.” He clinked my glass and turned to Sam.

  “A quick death, and an easy one.”

  Sam chuckled and Kyle threw out a “Hear. Hear.”

  His next statement was addressed to Josie and his voice seemed to waver an instant when he began. “A pretty girl, and an honest one.” He winked at her. She dropped her gaze, but smiled. Then peeked at us, a blush fanned across her cheeks.

  “Good one,” Sam touted.

  Killian hesitated a second, still looking at Josie, then twisted to face Kyle. “A cold pint, and another one.”

  “Yes!” Kyle tapped his glass. With murmurs of agreement, glasses met all around, the sharp dink bringing with it a Pavlovian response of excitement before we emptied the contents and set them back on the bar. Killian looked back at Josie and smiled. Was something going on there?

  Killian and Josie?

  I th
ought about it…potential existed, but…Killian seemed to be somewhat of a flirt, and the women were definitely into him. Pretty young things were always talking his ears off, turned on by his Irish accent, no doubt. But still…he seemed to be sincerely interested in Jo. He was flirting with her, but not in the usual way. Without his usual confidence and swagger. He was being gentle, patient….

  Killian and Josie? The idea intrigued me. On so many levels, they didn’t fit at all. Bartender and principal? Carefree and…not so much carefree? But the more I thought about it, the more I thought, maybe it could work. He was sweet. And maybe his relaxed nature would offset Josie’s rigidness. And who knows? Maybe she’d be good for him.

  I kept an eye on them throughout the rest of the evening—which was a blast—and had almost decided I misread things until she said goodbye.

  She offered Kyle her hand. “It was very nice meeting you.”

  Kyle came alive, jumping from his stool and grasping her hand. “Nice meeting you.”

  “Ladies, I’ll see you tomorrow. And don’t even think of calling in with alcohol-induced ‘flu.’”

  Sam gave a sloppy salute. “Aye, aye, skipper.”

  “And Killian, uhh….” She ducked her head. “Thanks for everything,” she said quickly. She turned to hurry away, but Killian stopped her, sounding alarmed.

  “Now, wait now, Miss Josie,” somewhere along the line, it seemed Jo had become more comfortable with her nickname, and Killian took it up, too. “You’ll be needin’ someone to walk you out.” He turned and hollered to the owner, who was counting the till. “Jack, I—”

  “I can walk her out,” Kyle offered.

  Killian’s mouth clamped closed and he stared at Kyle. He looked at Josie, but she was gathering her things.

  “Can I carry that for you?” Kyle held out his hand for the shopping bag.

  “No, thank you. I’m good. But thanks.”

  After they left, Killian collected glasses and stepped away to wash them, but I kept my eye on him. At first he seemed kind of sad, and he was definitely tuned out to what was going on around him. A patron was doing her best to attract his attention, but he was polishing a glass with a faint smile on his face. Then he chuckled at something.

  “Killian,” said bimbo huffed.

 

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