A Springtime to Remember

by Lucy Coleman

  I lay my head against his chest, listening to the sound of his pounding heart. It’s not just from the exertion of fetching and carrying; there’s a vibrancy to him that he didn’t have before. Before there was an us.

  ‘Well, I like this different version of you, Lexie. Sometimes we all need to let go a little and learn to rely on other people. Some things can’t be controlled, we simply have to allow them to happen.’

  Ronan begins planting soft little kisses on my cheek, as he works his way across to my mouth. My body reacts before my brain can engage and I turn my face, my lips eager to show him that control is the last thing on my mind right now.

  ‘Mia will probably leave hospital in about a week’s time. It’s going to take me a few days to get her all set up at home and I don’t want to just rush off, if you can hang on a while longer. Her sister is going to come and stay for a week or two after I fly back to France. After that, her dad will come and collect her and she’ll spend a little time with her parents, so it’s all covered until we’ve finished filming.’

  Elliot sounds as if he has it all sorted and it’s good to hear him sounding so upbeat, at last.

  ‘How is the budget going?’ he asks and I hesitate for a moment.

  ‘Okay. The good news is that we’ve kept up with the schedule and only had to change one of the slots. We did have to retake one of the intros, which was unfortunate, but we nailed it in a couple of hours.’ It’s time to change the subject slightly. ‘Um, there is one thing that has come up and I sort of committed us to it when I should have checked with you first. It’s not strictly business, more personal really.’

  ‘Well, I owe you a huge favour for holding it all together in my absence, Lexie. So, I’m hardly likely to say no, am I? Give me a clue, as now I’m curious about what I’ve missed.’

  I’m relieved to have diverted his attention away from talking about our financial issues.

  ‘I’d like to film an interview at the home of one of the gardeners who was at Versailles in the sixties. Unfortunately, he had to take early retirement after being involved in a rather serious car accident. He’s a bit of a prickly character, but he knew my grandma. He might be the only person still alive who came into contact with her while she was over here. George blows hot and cold, and our last little chat didn’t end well. This isn’t just about her, but a much bigger story. However, my gut instincts are telling me that the next time he calls he’ll be ready to go on record. Whether it will throw up any material we can use, I have no idea, but it will be a one-off opportunity.’

  ‘That’s incredible, Lexie. I’m delighted to hear that because I know how much it means to you.’

  ‘Me, too,’ I reply enthusiastically.

  ‘The budget is blown, isn’t it?’ Elliot blurts out, seeing through my little ruse. ‘Otherwise you’d ask Ronan, because this would definitely be of interest to him. But you’d insist on paying him and that tells me everything.’

  Awkward, because he’s right about the budget and he has no idea what I’m about to do. And now I have to explain a little about the situation with Ronan. I’d sort of hoped that would go over his head.

  ‘George and Ronan don’t really get on,’ I hedge.

  ‘Come on, Lexie. I know you’re holding back and as partners we need to be honest with each other.’

  ‘I will admit that the contingency fund is looking sad; we both knew that would happen if we hit any snags. I have two credit cards with nothing on them and an eighteen-grand line of credit. I know you’ve incurred a lot of costs personally and lost time on your other job, so I don’t want you to worry about it. I’ve applied for a business loan and we have at least another three weeks before the cash runs out. I thought I’d whack things on the cards and then pay them off as soon as the loan is approved.’

  Elliot groans.

  ‘Jeez. I left you with all this worry. Look, I’ll phone around. We know there’s interest, all we need is someone to commit and back it up with an advance. Maybe I need to approach an agent to tout it around and add that extra push. Don’t sign on the dotted line until I’ve exhausted my enquiries. It will take me a day or two, to pull together a demo from what I’ve uploaded to our system, but it should swing it. Even unedited, I think it does the whole idea justice.’

  ‘Seriously, though, it’s not just the money, Elliot. George won’t speak to Ronan directly, because whatever he has to say involves Ronan’s grandfather, too.’ As worried as I am about money, I need to share this with Elliot. ‘Things have moved on and Ronan and I are involved personally, now. So, when the call eventually comes for this interview, it will have to be kept quiet. George might simply want to air old grievances, who knows? Oh, why do things have to be so complicated?’

  ‘Ronan’s a good guy, Lexie, and I’m not really surprised to hear the two of you have hit it off. I had noticed that little spark between you. Don’t worry about the George thing – we’ll get that done and think about the fallout afterwards. If necessary, we can file it away and forget about it. But, please, don’t sign that loan agreement until I’ve exhausted the other options. Neither of us are in a position to add monthly repayments to our outgoings and this is down to me, anyway.’

  When I arrive back at the cottage, Renée is sitting on her doorstep and she gives me a wave. Seconds later, Solange appears in the doorway behind her.

  ‘Hi, Lexie,’ Solange calls out and they both come hurrying over.

  Renée looks excited and begins talking very fast at me. All I can do is smile politely and Solange starts laughing.

  ‘It’s official,’ she says, holding up her left hand and waving around a beringed finger. ‘What Philippe’s grandmother is asking is whether you would mind if we had a little party in the courtyard the weekend after next. One of the other neighbours will be here and we’re hoping you and Ronan will come, plus a few family members and friends, to help us celebrate our news.’

  ‘Ah, that would be lovely! Of course, and if you need any help with the preparation, I’m sure both Ronan and I can make ourselves available.’

  Renée is beaming, and Solange looks at her and nods. She throws her hands up in the air and does a little jig.

  ‘How are the preparations for the big visit coming along?’ Solange asks, stepping forward.

  ‘Good. Ronan is nervous, naturally.’

  ‘I understand that. I know he speaks to his mum often and that it will be the first time she’s been back to her old family home since her mother died. She found it hard to let go of him. The fact that she has finally found the man she’s happy to spend the rest of her life with means Ronan did the right thing coming here. Ronan just needs to see that for himself.’

  It’s nice that Solange has been such a good friend to Ronan. We look at one another and I nod my head in agreement, thinking that every family has their problems, they’re just all very different. It’s how you resolve them that counts, and a tinge of guilt begins to gnaw away at me. Old hurts leave scars and I wonder if I will ever be strong enough to forgive my brother and give him a second chance.

  ‘I’m sure it was a difficult decision for him at the time, but it sounds like they are both in a good place at the moment and he’s so happy for her.’

  ‘I think the visit will make her even happier,’ Solange adds, giving me a pointed look. She thinks we’re good together and that means a lot to me.

  As I head back inside, I can’t help thinking about the future; frequent weekend trips and holidays in France, maybe, in between long working days in the UK? Could Ronan and I make it work? Who knows what might happen? I reflect. You grow comfortable in your own little routine and then suddenly something happens and everything changes.

  All I know is that the thought of leaving Ronan behind and never seeing him again is unimaginable. Falling in love with someone is tough, I’m discovering; it’s no longer about what you want, because suddenly there’s another person to consider. When I fly back to the UK, Ronan is going to feel what – abandoned? I hope n
ot. Hopefully we’ll be impatiently counting down the days until we’re together again.

  ‘Why bring me to Versailles to fall in love, Grandma?’ I appeal to the empty stairwell as I head upstairs. ‘This could break both of our hearts if we can’t find a way to make it work, and without making either of us miserable for what we’re leaving behind.’

  The silence in reply is deafening.

  20

  Happy Families

  I was expecting a clingy, intense woman and instead Eve Arnoult – sorry, Eve Barrington, now – is nothing at all like I imagined her to be. Although she bursts into floods of tears the moment she steps through the door to throw her arms around Ronan, this diminutive lady is full of vibrant energy. She’s a fighter, for sure, and a survivor.

  Pulling herself together, she tilts her head around Ronan’s arm to peer at me.

  ‘Oh,’ she says, stifling a sob, ‘this must be Lexie. Sorry, my dear, but it’s been a while since I’ve hugged this boy of mine and I’m having trouble letting go of him.’

  I hold out my hand to Frank as he steps forward, but he ignores it and zooms in for a hug.

  ‘We don’t shake hands, lovely Lexie.’ He has to stoop down to my level, as he’s rather tall. ‘We’re not here for long, so we need to make the most of it.’

  I’m a bit taken aback, but Frank is a hugger and I like that about him. He must be six foot six at least and Eve can’t be more than five foot two.

  ‘The missus has been unbearable the last few days and it’s a relief to be here at last.’ He grins, mischievously. Standing back, he watches as his new wife continues to hug her son with no sign whatsoever of letting go. Poor Ronan is looking rather uncomfortable.

  ‘Ma, you have to let go. I can’t breathe.’ He groans.

  ‘Yes, but it’s been so long. And we’re really here. I only agreed to get married because I knew Frank would let me choose where we went on our honeymoon,’ she declares.

  I look at Frank and he starts laughing.

  ‘I’m fine with that, although I know I have no chance when it comes to the honour and obey bit in the vows. This woman is annoying, impossible and the love of my life.’

  Turning to look at Ronan as he stares back at me over his mother’s shoulder, I can’t suppress a laugh. I wasn’t expecting a couple whose banter was so amusing and light-hearted. And from what he’d told me about his mother I was expecting a rather staid, quiet lady – not someone with such a bubbly personality.

  ‘Mum, seriously, let go!’

  Reluctantly she steps back and then I’m next in line.

  ‘Oh, my dear! It’s wonderful to meet you. Ronan doesn’t say much, of course, but he doesn’t have to as I can hear the change in his voice. I’ve never known him to be so happy and that can only be down to you.’

  ‘How about we stop with the embarrassing “the wayward son” thing and let’s head into the kitchen? I’ll put the kettle on,’ Ronan says, turning and heading for the door. ‘Although I might need something a little stronger than that,’ he mutters to himself as he exits quickly.

  Frank masks a little smile before heading back to the car to fetch the luggage. Eve links arms as if I’m her new best friend and she’s not going to let go of me until she’s good and ready. I love that soft little lilt in her voice – it softens everything she says and it’s endearing. One tiny woman, one incredibly big heart. No wonder that falling in love at such a tender age and not having it returned hurt her so much.

  ‘Let’s leave Ronan to recover. Show me the house, Lexie. It’s been so many years since I’ve been here and it looks a lot different now. Brighter, I’m delighted to see.’

  It feels a little strange to be playing the hostess, but I can hear Ronan in the kitchen and the sound of china clanking and cupboard doors being opened and closed. He needs a few minutes to compose himself and I get that.

  ‘Shall we start upstairs?’

  Eve releases my arm, but only after giving it a gentle pat.

  ‘You lead the way,’ she insists, and I take a deep breath.

  ‘Right, if I show you your room first, then Frank will know where to put your things. How was the journey?’

  Eve chatters away as she takes her time, first walking over to gaze out of the window. She stands for a moment and I say nothing, allowing her to assimilate her surroundings. I’m sure the memories are now flooding back. Moving around the room, she takes in every little detail, rediscovering each piece of furniture.

  ‘I remember this,’ she murmurs, trailing her fingers over the top of an ebony chest of drawers. ‘I had the small bedroom, of course. This was what Mum called the best bedroom; which meant it was for guests, even though it’s the biggest. I remember family coming over from Ireland and the fuss she made, making sure everything was just so. Of course, there were a few of them, so we made up beds on the floor for the children. That was the norm back then.’

  ‘It must be wonderful knowing that Ronan is living here, now.’

  She turns to look at me.

  ‘I’m not sentimental, well, not in that way. Life has taught me that money, possessions, buildings – none of them really mean anything at all. Like a wedding ceremony doesn’t mean a thing,’ she adds, without even attempting to lower her voice. I do a double take and she smiles at me.

  ‘Oh, Frank knows that. I gave in because my therapist asked me a simple question. We were talking about it all a few months ago and he’d just asked me again for the gazillionth time. She said, “Why not say yes?” And I said, “Because I’m living with him, that should tell him everything he needs to know.” And she said, “You might not need a little piece of paper, but maybe Frank does,” and it made me stop and think. So here we are.’

  Frank walks in and I’d be really surprised if he hadn’t heard at least some of that conversation on his way upstairs. The poor guy has a case in each hand and a small, see-through plastic holdall containing a hairdryer tucked under his arm.

  ‘I didn’t tell her the licence doesn’t have an end date,’ he throws in, his voice sounding very droll until he throws a wink in my direction. ‘Eve probably thinks it’s like a driving licence – renewable.’ He places his heavy load on the floor and walks back out, his shoulders shaking a little as he laughs.

  ‘I keep telling him,’ Eve says, her voice getting louder so he can hear every word as he heads down the stairs, ‘you can only take a relationship one day at a time. If he behaves himself, I’ll let him hang around for a bit longer.’

  It’s so hard not to start laughing, as the banter between them is hilarious.

  ‘Actually,’ she says, leaning in to me and finally lowering her voice, ‘it’s rather nice being Mrs Barrington. But aside from that, nothing has changed. We’re still the same mad pair, but Ronan was right. I wasted so much of my life feeling I had something to prove and being scared to rely on anyone for fear they’d let me down. Now I know that Frank, bless him, would do anything for me. He was the one who suggested I get involved in this self-help group, run by the lady who is now my therapist, Jane. It has turned my life around and here we are!’

  She turns to look at the freshly made-up bed.

  ‘Everything is so crisp and lovely,’ she remarks. ‘These curtains are pretty. Did you choose them?’

  ‘Well, I pointed them out, but Ronan knows what he likes, and the decision was all his.’

  Eve continues to stare at them for a moment or two. ‘I let go of this place a long time ago. I only hope that at some point Ronan can do that, too. I don’t want him held back by anything from the past, as I was for so many years.’

  ‘Are you ladies coming down? Because the tea is getting cold.’ Ronan’s voice filters up the stairs.

  Her face immediately brightens. ‘We’d better grace them with our presence. Besides, I can’t wait to see the garden. I do hope some of the roses have survived the passage of time. My mother planted them in my father’s memory. He might have been the gardener, but when he was at home it was my mother’
s domain. She grew vegetables and herbs mainly, but he loved his flowers and the two apple trees that are now long gone.’

  She gazes out of the window rather wistfully, but it’s a fleeting moment and her smile when she turns back around is warm and engaging.

  It turns out to be an enjoyable few hours. We go for a walk before dinner and Ronan’s three-course meal is simple, but we all clear our plates. Soup, made with mushrooms one of his neighbours had picked, followed by a hearty rabbit stew and crème pâtissière tart. I can’t take any credit for it at all, as my only contribution was to peel the vegetables and lay the table. Considering how tense Ronan has been in anticipation of this visit, it’s good to see how relaxed he is now. Eve speaks her mind and that’s great in one way, but I can see how difficult that would have been at times for Ronan. He’s a little more reserved and I wonder if that’s something he inherited from his father.

  We end the evening sitting around with a glass of wine and chatting about all sorts of things. Sadly, Frank’s first wife died in the mid-nineties. He’s an interesting character, having owned a gym for more than twenty years, and he has us in fits of laughter over some of his boxing stories. As the evening wears on, he gazes across the table at Eve. ‘Shall I tell Lexie how we met?’

  She begins to laugh, nodding her head. I remember Ronan telling me they met at an art class, I think.

  ‘Well, Eve here finally decided to get out and experience something new. So, she signed up for an art class held at a school nearby. It was a Tuesday evening – how long ago was it now, m’dear? Two years, three months, one week and a couple of days?’

  Now she’s giggling. ‘If you say so.’

  ‘There are eighteen in the group and most of them are regulars, so they know each other quite well. I’d been a few times off and on over the period of a couple of years. They’re all sat around in front of the easels and in I walk. I saunter over to the chaise longue in the middle of the room and I drop my robe to pose. Poor Eve nearly fell off her stool. She didn’t know where to look.’