by Lucy Coleman
‘Okay, time to tell me all about this brother of yours. You said he was successful?’
‘Yes. If you think having lots of money in the bank, a huge house – which is now in the UK, I might add – an American wife and twin boys is the benchmark for having made it. I’d say Jake has ticked off most of his life goals. World domination next.’
The minute I stop speaking I realise how that sounds, but I wasn’t being sarcastic. Not having met Jake, Ronan wouldn’t understand that, of course. I wouldn’t want Jake’s lifestyle; it’s simply not me.
‘Sorry. Let me backtrack a little.’
I lean my knife and fork against the plate for a moment.
‘Jake was a director of a big production company and he offered me a job as an assistant producer. I jumped at it, but then he knew I would, as that was my dream. I had a falling out with my boss, who spoke to Jake, and Jake fired me without even asking for my side of the story.’
I have no intention of letting this spoil my lunch, so I resume eating, waiting for Ronan’s response. He finishes the last mouthful on his plate, wipes his mouth on the linen napkin and sits looking at me for a moment or two.
‘Maybe there was more to it and it was a case of the politics behind it. Obviously, I don’t know him, or the details, but you’re his sister and the fact that he didn’t listen to you seems a little bizarre.’
I nod, fearing that already this mouthful of delicious food has lost a little of its appeal.
‘Business comes first over everything else in Jake’s life. It wasn’t solely about the fact he didn’t talk to me, but about the announcement he made implying that I was being let go because I wasn’t up to the job. It wasn’t just humiliating, it shut down so many avenues for me. I had to take the first thing I was offered just to be able to continue paying my bills. It was yet another job as a presenter and for me that was going backwards. Overnight my dreams fell apart and it’s taken five years of research, and every penny I have saved, to grab this opportunity. That’s why the project with Elliot is so important.’
I can see that Ronan is a little shocked by my revelation.
‘I knew this project was a big deal for both you and Elliot financially, but I hadn’t realised quite how crucial. I can see now why you’ve been so worried. But you said your brother went to the States?’
‘Yes, he’d already accepted a job and left for LA a week later. He was promoted to deputy CEO and put in charge of the American subsidiary of the company.’
Ronan frowns, raising the wine glass to his mouth and taking a sip. He glances at me over the top, looking distinctly uncomfortable as he can see how difficult it is for me, raking over old wounds. I put down my knife and fork, then take a sip of water. Talking about Jake is a mistake, but I’ve started, so I have to finish.
He looks at me pointedly, no doubt trying to piece together a motive. ‘It wasn’t down to something like a restructuring of the organisation, then?’
‘No, that would at least have excused his behaviour. It was personal. My boss knew I could do his job better than he could do it and he had Jake’s ear. He probably made up some stupid story about how I’d messed up and Jake was too busy to check it out. Jake didn’t even take a moment to pause and think about the impact it would have on my life, or my future, because he was too busy organising his move.’
‘What did the rest of your family say?’
I expel a rather lengthy sigh. ‘Mum still doesn’t know the full story. She thinks I just decided to move on. My sister knows the truth and we believe that’s the real reason Jake made no attempt to make contact with any of us after he left: he felt guilty. But Shellie has seen him twice in this last week and says he’s changed. Well, he has for sure, because he’s returned with a wife and twin boys that we knew nothing at all about.’
‘Wow.’ Now Ronan is beginning to understand. ‘Lexie, from what I’ve seen you’re a fighter. And you’re a very professional and capable person, so I’m sure it was obvious you could do the job justice. Why didn’t you fight back and make your voice heard before he left?’
I try my best not to let my body language give away how distressing I’m finding this and I straighten my spine, pushing back my shoulders.
‘I made a big mistake. My boss, who was the CEO’s nephew, invited me around to his house one night. I had no idea his wife wasn’t going to be there, and it seemed genuine enough as I’d been there before. We had an important meeting coming up and we were going to pitch an idea for a new project.
‘Something wasn’t right, and I sensed that the moment I walked through the door. He didn’t seem in a hurry to settle down to work and the longer he messed about sorting drinks and generally chatting, the more I realised he had another motive. Suddenly, he launched himself at me and in the ensuing tussle I ended up giving him a black eye. I couldn’t get out of there quickly enough, because, if I hadn’t fought back, I don’t know how far he would have taken it.’
Ronan reaches out across the table, grabbing my hand. His face is ashen and, the way he’s compressing his lips together, I can see how angry he is.
‘No man should ever treat a woman that way. But you never told anyone? Why?’
‘No. Until now. What was the point? It was my word against his and I know his wife. She’s lovely. I don’t think, I mean, I’m pretty sure it was a one-off. I went there of my own accord and how would it have looked, given that my own brother had immediately sacked me? No one would have believed my side of the story.’
Ronan shakes his head, a stony expression on his face.
‘Once is one time too many, Lexie. That was a tough decision to make, but I understand why you didn’t tell anyone. It’s sickening that men like that can get away with it, though.’
Taking a moment to consider his words, I know he’s right. I should have spoken up.
‘Even the next day, I was still in shock, to be honest. At the time I had to focus on getting a job. If I’d kicked up a fuss, then I risked making myself unemployable. Everyone I knew professionally was talking about it and I decided, rightly or wrongly, to keep quiet.
‘I didn’t have the energy to face the fallout and I know that’s an excuse, but it was a genuine concern for me at the time. I was scared that I’d start the process and not be able to see it through, which would have made it look even more like I wasn’t telling the truth. The guy is still with his wife and I guess I’ve appeased my conscience by telling myself that alone justified my silence. Maybe he learnt his lesson.’
Having never told anyone about the attack, even Shellie, now I hear my own words I shudder, wondering how I could have been so stupid. The guy made me a victim and that wasn’t fair. It left me doubting my own judgement of other people, because it hadn’t even occurred to me that I wasn’t safe around him.
‘These things happen all the time, sadly, because life isn’t always fair. Only those close to me would have known I would never make a false accusation. But those who only knew of me, or saw me from a distance – well, people are left wondering, aren’t they? And that’s the injustice of finding yourself in a situation like that.’
Ronan squeezes my hand, withdrawing it as the waiter approaches to take our plates.
‘I’m glad you told me, and I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, I just wanted to understand. You can’t change the past, but you should tell your brother the truth now he’s back. He made a horrible mistake and it’s come between you both for the wrong reason. He’d have to be a very hard person indeed to know the whole story and not regret his part in it.’
Desperate to change the subject, I move on to talk to Ronan about Mum and the new plans for the move, then about Shellie and her amazing little family. I want him to understand why my life in the UK means so much to me. I don’t want him to feel that he’s relegated to last place, but some choices are tough. Even though I know I’m hopelessly in love with Ronan, I can’t walk away from my old life.
As the waiter reappears, my appetite is back and the
aiguillettes de boeuf aux girolles – or slices of lean, moist roast beef served with wild chanterelle mushrooms – is truly divine. I savour every little mouthful as I refuse to dwell upon old wounds.
While we await the crème brûlée flavoured with pungent Kafir lime, Ronan tells me a little more about his father and the time he spent working for him. He sounds like a man who has to control everything in his life and his aim was to distance Ronan from his mother. His father wanted him to leave that side of his past firmly behind him, asking Ronan to change his name one last time. But it’s clear he didn’t know his son at all. How could he expect Ronan to do that? The lure was the promise of an inheritance, which has since been withdrawn.
When the phone call comes, confirming that the camera won’t be ready until tomorrow, we don’t rush back. Instead, we linger on the terrace outside with coffee, overlooking the river; it’s relaxing to simply sit and chat for a while. Then we take another stroll through the grounds and on into the forest.
It’s weird how fate engineered this today, off the back of what I thought of at first as a nightmare situation. We badly needed this time away from everything, with no distractions and no threat of being interrupted.
Eventually, it’s time to head back to Versailles and we both take it for granted that Ronan will stay over for the night. We’ve reached the point where any lingering doubts about our future together have dissolved.
Wrapped in his arms, I have never felt as safe, or as protected, and it’s a feeling that makes my heart soar. Now we have bared our souls to each other, even our respective hang-ups that won’t quite go away don’t seem quite so draining, or problematic.
Dating can be fun, but it can also be a temporary lift and then a gutting realisation it’s time to move on. That feeling of loneliness remains and it can be isolating, making you feel vulnerable. But until you’re really with someone – that special someone – you have no idea what’s missing from your life, you are simply searching for something to fill the emptiness inside you. I had no idea how uplifting and complete it makes you feel to be loved and to love in return.
It’s all about trust. I never thought I’d share with anyone a scene I’d pushed way back into the attic of my mind. And now I’ve shared my worst experience, something that scarred me, with Ronan. In the intervening years I chose only to remember the satisfying moment when my fist hit the target and my assailant crumpled to the floor. I like to think that the shock of my instant reaction taught him a lesson he’s never forgotten.
23
The Best-Laid Plans
Even after Ronan reluctantly heads off home, the joy of a blissful night together leaves me wrapped in my own little bubble of happiness. Everything looks different – brighter, more vibrant – and I feel alive in a way I never have before. I catch myself singing out loud as I get ready to face a new day and I can’t remember the last time I did that.
I promised I would help Solange with the preparations for tomorrow’s party, but this morning it hasn’t stopped raining. Even the weather can’t dampen my positivity and I look up at the sky, willing those clouds to move on. As I stare across at number one, she waves across at me from Renée’s sitting room. Swinging open the window a few inches, I do the same.
‘It’s beginning to brighten up,’ I call out, optimistically. ‘Fancy a cup of coffee?’
She puts up her thumb and disappears. I head downstairs to let her in, as she runs across the courtyard holding one of Renée’s black cardigans over her hair.
‘Thanks, Lexie. Renée is working on the surprise engagement cake, so I’m not allowed in the kitchen.’ She literally jumps in over the doorstep as I make way for her.
‘The kettle is boiled. White, black, sugar, no sugar?’
‘Black, one sugar, please.’
‘Come on up and take a seat on the sofa. I reckon another hour and it’s going to ease off. At least everything will be nice and fresh. And the forecast for tomorrow is a little cloud, but mainly sunshine!’
She folds Renée’s cardigan up very carefully and I point to the corner.
‘There’s a clothes rack. Might as well hang that up and it will be dry by the time you head back. What’s the plan of action?’
I fill the mugs and carry them across to the sofa. Solange joins me, tucking her hair behind her ears as she flops down onto the soft cushions.
‘Well, the food is covered. In fact, we have way too much. Philippe is sorting out the drinks and he has two cocktails on the menu. One is non-alcoholic. A friend is going to drop off a delivery of metal tables and chairs in a little while. When it dries up—’ she holds up crossed fingers and grimaces ‘—perhaps you could help me set them up?’
‘Of course. How about tomorrow? Anything specific I can help with?’
She leans back, her body sagging, and smiles at me.
‘I had no idea planning a little party took so much energy. Imagine when we get married! I think I will employ one of those wedding planners, because it’s all too much for me.’ She feigns wiping her forehead with the back of her hand, and it makes me smile.
‘Says the woman who expertly organises large press conferences and promotional events,’ I comment.
‘Yes, but this is not easy. It started small and it’s growing. How can I say no when everyone keeps adding names? If they all turn up it will be madness,’ she declares.
‘Okay – let’s plan for the worst-case scenario. Instead of a long row of tables in the centre of the courtyard, let’s put them around the outside edge. No one will mind and then if it gets crowded there will be a large area for people to stand and mingle.’
Solange nods her head, her face brightening considerably.
‘Good idea. Perhaps to put the food table in front of Renée’s cottage and it will be easy to go in and out of the kitchen to replenish the platters.’
‘How about I open up the garage door in the morning and we put the bar up in front of it? Philippe can store everything safely inside and we can use my fridge if we need to keep anything chilled. How does that sound?’
She picks up her mug and holds it aloft.
‘To a wonderful friend in my time of need,’ she says, and we chink.
‘So, what else does that leave?’
‘Well, we have lots of flowers coming tomorrow to decorate the tables. They will need trimming and placing into jam jars as table centres. We also have some bunting to string between the trees. And I thought we were keeping it simple, but I have been overruled because Philippe says we must have a fountain. A fountain!’ She shrugs her shoulders, but I can see she’s excited by the thought.
‘Look, the rain has already eased off,’ I point out. We head over to the window and stare up at the clouds as they continue to part and a watery sun peeks through at last. ‘And there’s a rainbow. Oh, my, and Renée’s cottage is directly beneath it.’
Solange’s face is a picture of happiness. It won’t be long before we can make a start, and whatever we get done today makes tomorrow’s workload lighter. A vehicle pulls up at the gate and as it swings open Solange’s face pales.
‘What’s wrong?’ I ask, assuming this is the neighbour in the corner, the one Renée said will be here for the party.
‘That’s my papa. We knew Maman was coming, but he refused.’ She takes a step back away from the window.
‘But this is good news, isn’t it?’
Solange is clearly flustered.
‘He has never met Philippe and Papa is not a timid man. He will say exactly how he feels. This could ruin everything tomorrow if he decides to be difficult.’
I thought she’d be eager to go and greet them, but instead she heads straight back to collapse down on the sofa.
‘Maman booked a hotel, so hopefully they are only coming to pay their respects to Renée. Can I stay here until they leave?’
‘Of course, you can.’
There’s a lull in our conversation and I don’t quite know what to say. I can see how unsettled she is now. Sola
nge gazes down, idly, at the items on the coffee table.
‘Is this your work?’ she asks, pointing to the little stacks of notebooks.
‘No. I use the table as my office. These belong to my grandma. Ronan and I have been working through them to piece together her year at Versailles.’
‘But that’s amazing. I knew Ronan was throwing himself into something new as I hardly see him these days unless it’s with you, filming. How exciting.’
Something new? I don’t think he’s spending that much time on it. But maybe she isn’t aware he’s putting the finishing touches to the last book in his series.
‘It’s mostly drawings and the sort of things you’d expect a horticultural student to record.’
The sound of a car door slamming has Solange up out of her seat again, to peer very gingerly out of the window.
‘That was a quick visit. As I would expect. Papa will, no doubt, feel awkward and Maman, too, if he is not talkative. Oh, why did he change his mind?’ She slips into her native tongue and speaks so fast I only catch a few words of every sentence. Her eyes are blazing, and she sounds angry, almost bitter.
When it’s obvious I’m a little taken aback, she immediately halts and raises one hand by way of apology. ‘I’m sorry. I want tomorrow to be a happy memory with no upsets and now I cannot guarantee that will be the case. He has had a year to make amends, so I fear his intention is to find fault with my plans for a life here.’
I see her to the door and reflect on the fact that family members are so often the cause of our problems. But I know only too well that it’s hard to walk away from them, even when their actions cause nothing but pain.
‘Let me know when the tables and chairs arrive, and I’ll come straight out and give you a hand. Remember, there will be a lot of people here tomorrow, by the sound of it, and help will be at hand if needed. It’s your special day and I’m sure he will respect that. You are his daughter, and he loves you – that’s why it’s hard for him to accept your new life here in Versailles. When he sees how happy you are it will change everything.’