Raining Cats and Killers: Cozy Mystery (Country Cottage Mysteries Book 17)

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Raining Cats and Killers: Cozy Mystery (Country Cottage Mysteries Book 17) Page 11

by Addison Moore


  Macy nods. “Because they’re both afraid of heights.”

  “I can’t do it!” Georgie bellows as her entire body begins to shake and the crowd lights up with laughter once again.

  “It’s not funny,” I say, taking a step into the ring without meaning to. “Someone needs to help her,” I shout at the bevy of clowns, but no one seems to be paying me any mind.

  Brennan jumps up next to me. “I’m on it,” he says as we watch poor Georgie howl and cry as she does her best to get on her knees and hug the flimsy diving board she’s inadvertently landed herself on. “Hold on, lassie!” he shouts as he trots in that direction, and he’s halfway up the rope ladder before a terrifying scream rips from my mother hovering up above.

  “Help!” she warbles at the top of her lungs. “I just remembered—I’m terrified of heights!”

  Macy clucks her tongue. “Don’t just stand there, Bizzy. Go up there and get her. She’s worth more alive to us than she is dead. She’s been pet sitting Candy for me when I have the occasional sleepover.”

  I take off before my sister can divulge where she’s been sleeping or with whom, and I work my way up that rope ladder like a spider monkey. The ladder sways heavily as I reach the top, and despite the fact I’m chanting to myself don’t look down over and over again, I cast a quick glance at the ground and it feels as if the floor is bouncing up to meet me.

  A horrible moaning sound escapes my throat as I force my way to the top of the platform.

  “Bizzy!” Mom calls out from the other end of it as she holds a hand out to me. “Oh, thank goodness. Please, you have to get me off this contraption. I have no idea what I was thinking.”

  “Neither do I.” I hold my hand out to her as I take an unsteady step onto the flimsy board that seems to be gyrating manically. Just past her stands a female clown looking rather demonic at the moment with a garish grin plastered on her face. “Take my hand, Mom. We’ll go back down the ladder together.”

  “Bizzy!” a deep voce shouts from below, and a flood of relief fills me at the sound of it.

  “Jasper!” I shout back, and the entire platform we’re standing on starts to bounce wildly.

  The music picks up, as does the activity down below. The lights start to spin, making me dizzier than I already am.

  “And now, ladies and gentlemen”—the voice of the emcee below echoes through the room—“our human cannon will shoot through the ring of fire while our splendid soaring beauties grace us with their flight of fancy.”

  “More like flight of fright,” Mom shouts back. “I’m aborting the effort!”

  “I’m coming for you, too, lassie!” someone calls from below, and we look down to see Georgie already safely prancing with the poodles while Brennan and Jasper nearly come to blows over who will climb the rope ladder first. Brennan swipes Jasper’s feet from under him—a below the belt maneuver—and before I know what’s happened, he’s on the platform and next to him appears Jasper.

  The music starts up and the room goes black save for that ring of fire burning below, waiting to swallow Juni whole.

  The lights go bonkers, swirling every which way, and both my mother and I start to moan as we struggle to remain on our feet. The diving board-like contraption beneath our feet bounces up and down so hard and fast, it ejects us right off of it and into the air. And by some miracle, we both grab onto that tiny beam of steel as if it were fate.

  We glide from one end of this big top to the other, screaming at the top of our lungs in perfect harmony. And as we swing back toward the platform we started from, Brennan lunges forward and grabs onto my mother’s legs.

  “Lassie!” he calls out, and soon it’s the three of us swinging to the other side like a wonky pendulum.

  We head back toward the platform once again and Jasper waves like mad.

  “Try to push yourselves toward me!” he calls out.

  I do just that, and Jasper grasps ahold of my leg and gets suctioned right off that platform with us.

  Soon, the four of us sail across the expanse, howling at the top of our lungs, our fate sealed and sure, just as Juni’s is.

  “I can’t hold on anymore!” I shout.

  I catch a glimpse of Juni with her head poking out of that cannon, and she looks surprisingly eager to catapult right through those flames.

  “Three, two, one,” the ringmaster shouts, and Juni goes flying right through that fiery loop as she heads for the giant blowup contraption set to catch her on the other end.

  She crests the flames just as we swing above her, and gravity takes over, sending all four of us free-falling through time and space as my sundress wraps itself around my head.

  Here’s hoping I wore my good underwear. And I’m fairly certain I did. This isn’t my first foray into inadvertently flashing the general public.

  We hit the safety net as Juni flies by us and waves. Our bodies bounce right back to the ceiling before the net catches us again and again, and we laugh our heads off—mostly because we’ve cheated death. Jasper grabs ahold of me the next time we sail into the air, and with one herculean move, he pulls me close and kisses me.

  If I’m going to die, this isn’t a bad way to go.

  But miraculously we all come out of it in one piece.

  Unlike poor Bea, we’ve evaded the Grim Reaper.

  But the killer won’t be able to evade Jasper and me for long.

  After all, it was the killer who put us into that free-falling predicament to begin with.

  And we’re going to make them pay. First for taking Bea, and then for taking our sanity.

  We head home, and Jasper and I make good use of that adrenaline.

  We soar through the night in another way entirely.

  And we have a killer good time while doing so.

  Chapter 11

  It’s the very next night after our flying Wilder routine, and I’ve invited Leo and Emmie over to our cottage for pizza.

  Originally, I thought we’d have dinner at the cove, but since the storm is still bearing hard over us, that option was quickly nixed.

  Jasper wraps his arms around me from behind as I take in our little love nest with its yellow and white checkered sofas, and that stone fireplace that makes it look cozy no matter what time of the year.

  He pecks a kiss to my nose. “At the risk of sounding like an alarmist, I think this storm seems to be stuck right over the inn.”

  “At the risk of sounding like someone far too grounded in reality, I firmly believe this is true. Why do I get the feeling Ophelia isn’t big on sunshine?”

  We take a moment to look at the haunted dress in question as it hangs lifeless on a nail that protrudes from the bookshelf.

  “I should put it in the guest bedroom before they get here.” I sigh. “On second thought, I should have put it in the guest bedroom to begin with.”

  Fish yowls, You shouldn’t have that nightmare on the property at all. I have a feeling if you buried it in the backyard, it would still have the power to wreak havoc.

  That’s right. Sherlock barks. The kibble that spilled all over the kitchen this morning? None of us had a thing to do with it.

  Snuggles jump from the hearth like a rabbit. It was that witch that lives inside the dress! I saw the dress fly around the room and everything.

  Bingo pounces on his sister. You did not. You were having a nightmare. And the kibble spilled because it tipped over. Bea used to blame things on gravity, not ghosts.

  Before I can relay a single word, there’s a knock at the door.

  “Come in,” I shout before tapping my fingers to my lips. “I’d better hide that dress and fast.” I lunge for it just as Leo and Emmie spill into the room with an armful of pizza boxes, a platter of cookies, and their dogs, Cinnamon and Gatsby.

  Cinnamon is an aptly named curly-haired labradoodle that belongs to Emmie, and Gatsby is Leo’s golden retriever.

  The dogs and cats get straight to greeting and sniffing one another before running in a blur of a circl
e around the living room.

  “Leo, close your eyes,” I shout as I try to shield the dress with my body, and Emmie laughs as she pops up by my side.

  “It’s okay, Bizzy.” She pulls my hand away before I can grab the hanger. “He saw it at the shop.”

  “What?” I turn around to find Leo nodding my way as he sets the pizza on the coffee table. He’s still wearing his deputy uniform and looks as rugged as can be in it.

  “That’s right,” he says. “And I love it.” He waggles his brows at my bestie. “I can’t wait to see it on.” And then take it off. He winces my way. Sorry.

  It’s easy for both Leo and me to forget that there’s another mind reader in the room.

  Jasper looks from Leo to Emmie. “I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t be seeing the dress. I’ll put it away so you can forget what it looks like,” he teases as he glances to Emmie. “This guy has the memory of a squirrel.”

  Emmie waves him off. “Please leave it out. I can’t take my eyes off of it. Besides, I know you’re both thinking it’s bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the wedding, but Leo and I don’t believe in bad luck.”

  “Or curses, evidently,” I say just above a whisper.

  “It’s not cursed, Bizzy.” Leo chuckles as he wraps his arms around Emmie. “I can promise you, nothing will go wrong at the wedding or between Emmie and me.” He lands a kiss to her cheek and she steals one from his lips.

  Jasper and I exchange a wry look because we’re not too sure about the former, and it’s terrifying to even consider the latter.

  That platter of cookies catches my eye. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starved and I think I’ll start with dessert.”

  “Ooh, me, too,” Emmie says as she frees her cookies from the plastic film covering the platter and we each snap up a couple.

  Jasper grabs one and moans hard as he takes a bite. “These are your best cookies yet, Emmie. Is it rude of me to ask for a lifetime supply?”

  “Not rude at all.” She laughs as I hop to the kitchen and grab some sodas and plates for us as we all we take seats on opposite sofas. “I’m adding them in as a regular addition to the menu at the café. You can stop by the café and pick up a dozen whenever you like. Butterscotch is my favorite, but then, pizza is my favorite, too.”

  I pass out the plates and we dive into the pizza as well.

  Jasper nods to Leo. “So where did you finally decide on for the honeymoon?”

  Leo gives a slight frown to his pizza. “To be determined.”

  “I can get you on a last-minute cruise if you want,” I offer. “The cruise ship companies are forever giving me last-minute deals in the event I want to extend them to the guests. They have seven-day packages that take you up to Nova Scotia. That might be fun. All the free food you want, swimming on the deck?”

  Jasper shakes his head. “I don’t think they’ll head to the deck, let alone notice they’re on a ship.” He looks to Leo. “But to Bizzy’s point, the food is paid for, cooked, and you can have it brought straight to your room if you want.”

  Sherlock gives a soft bark. Tell them not to bring the dress. I’d hate for the entire ship to sink.

  Cinnamon tips her sweet curly head to the side. Why does everyone insist this dress is bad luck?

  Fish mewls, Because the note that came with it told them so.

  Both Cinnamon and Gatsby start in on a barking spree, laden with protests, as they all but attack Leo and Emmie.

  “All right,” Emmie says as she pulls both dogs forward and lands a kiss to each of their foreheads. “Let me guess, someone mentioned a cursed dress?”

  Cinnamon and Gatsby give a soft growl, prompting a laugh to bubble from Emmie.

  “That’s just a silly joke,” she tells them. “There’s no such thing as a curse.”

  A whooshing sound emits from the bookshelf, and we turn to find the dress in a puddle on the floor.

  Fish, Snuggles, and Bingo all jump a foot off the ground with their hair standing on end as they let out a choir of hisses.

  The dogs all whimper and chase their tails, but Emmie simply laughs as she heads over and picks the dress up.

  “Nobody panic,” she calls out. “It was just a little gravity.”

  Bingo twitches his whiskers my way. That may have been my line of thinking about ten minutes ago, but I’ve since changed my opinion. The dress is truly cursed.

  Snuggles mewls, I knew there was a reason Bea kept it in a glass casket. She needed to entomb the horror.

  Leo grimaces. “I don’t know, Emmie, the cats seem to think we should encapsulate it.”

  “We will,” she tells him as she hangs it back from where it fell. “With our love.” She shoots a sharp look in my direction. “How’s the case going?” And yes, that’s me changing the subject.

  No need for me to translate it to Jasper. He’s smart enough to figure it out on his own.

  I turn his way. “Did forensics yield anything new?”

  “Nothing,” he says. “Just what we talked about. The scarf had Arlene’s hair on it and her earring.”

  Leo grunts, “Makes sense. If you’re going to strangle someone with a scarf you found lying around, you’d pick it up and hold it out, not put it on. The chances of their own hair shedding onto it were slim to begin with.”

  “So it wasn’t premeditated, right?” Emmie lands next to Leo again and folds into him as she cradles a slice of pizza in her hand. “I mean, the killer didn’t know that Arlene was going to take off her scarf and set it down.”

  “No,” Jasper says. “They might have been planning to kill Bea in another manner, but once they saw the scarf, they switched their weaponry. It’s the perfect way to pin the crime on someone else, or in the least muddy up the suspect list.”

  “True.” I shudder just thinking about anyone wanting to kill poor Bea. “Outside of Arlene, the only other suspects we have are Bea’s nieces and nephew. And they all have greed as their motive. Ironically, that was before the reading of the will, where Bea pounced on their greedy intentions and let them know Snuggles and Bingo would be getting all the cash.”

  “You mean the caretaker for those cats would be getting all the cash,” Emmie corrects. “I’m sorry, Bizzy, but I don’t envy you. Any idea who you’re going to give them to?”

  “Magnolia is out.” I avert my eyes just thinking about the horrible things she said about the cats. And I wouldn’t dare repeat it. “I guess it’s down to Kadence or Ryan. As much as I’d love to cross them all off the list, keep the cats, and donate the money to charity, a part of me thinks Bea would have loved for one of her family members to benefit from her finances. If she didn’t, she would have donated the funds to begin with and given Snuggles and Bingo to me from the get-go. She knows I love these cuties as if they were my own.”

  Both Snuggles and Bingo mewl my way, and it genuinely looks as if they’re smiling.

  Leo nods. “Bea was a good judge of character, that’s for sure. But I think she didn’t eliminate her nieces or nephew from prospectively getting the money because deep down she wanted to believe the best in them. That’s what family does. Who’s the next suspect you’ll be questioning, Detective Wilder?” He sheds a grin my way just to spite Jasper.

  “Ryan, the realtor slash beauty shop king,” I tell him. “His mother left him three salons. Magnolia says they’ve fallen in disrepair. You should come with me, Em. What goes better with a cursed dress than having your hair done at a rundown beauty salon?”

  Emmie makes a face. “Ha-ha, I’m not laughing. But I’ll go with you to scope this guy out. You can use the protection. I heard all about your high-flying shenanigans last night. You’re lucky you’re not in traction.”

  “See that?” Leo says. “Lucky is the operative word here. If that dress was really trying to wreak havoc, we’d be down one best man and one bridesmaid.”

  “I guess it’s true,” I say to him. “And you’re only slightly annoying when you’re right. Em
mie, I think you have a shot at this matrimony thing working out.”

  She nearly chokes on her pizza. “Would you stop before I cut off your cookie supply? Back to the case. What makes you so sure those are the only four suspects?”

  “She’s right,” I say as I look at Jasper. “We haven’t accused Ophelia yet,” I say, giving the dress the stink eye.

  Both Emmie and Leo groan before chuckling along with Jasper and me.

  Snuggles mewls, I wonder if Kristen had anything to do with it?

  Leo and I shoot one another a look before he quickly translates.

  “Snuggles”—I reach down and scoop up the fuzzball—“who’s Kristen, and what do you know about her?”

  Bingo belts out a sharp meow. It’s a woman who Bea talked to us about a few times at home. She said she had lots of dirt on her—articles and newspaper clippings.

  Snuggles twitches an ear as she looks up at me. “That’s right. She said she had solid evidence that could send Kristen away forever.”

  I relay everything they just said to Jasper and Emmie.

  “Kristen, huh?” Jasper makes a note of it on his phone before looking at the cats. “Did she talk about this woman at her shop as well?”

  No, Bingo bleats. I think she only ever mentioned anything about her to us at home. It happened twice if I remember correctly.

  Snuggles looks over at Jasper. She mentioned the woman just a few days before she was killed.

  I tell him exactly what they said, and the room falls silent as we try to take in this new revelation.

  “I’ll ask Ryan if he knows anything about her,” I say. “She could be one of his exes for all we know.”

  “Whoever she is, she’s dangerous.” Jasper’s chest expands like a wall. “You won’t be talking to Ryan alone. I’ll be going with you.”

  Leo nods. “And if Emmie will be there, so will I.”

  “Sounds like a double date,” I say.

  Here’s hoping we don’t have a killer good time.

  Chapter 12

  The next afternoon the rain seems to subside a bit, and since the summer heat is still turned all the way up like a furnace, the guests flock to the cove to make up for some lost time on the sand.

 

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