Heath wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close. “You’re right. Just one day at a time. It’ll come. You’ll find something that makes you happy when the time's right.”
“I'm happy with you.”
He seemed to like that answer.
“You should marry me, then,” he stated. Before she could remind him about rushing, he added, “After we get our heads on right.”
Epilogue
Two Years Later…
Seven weeks. How in the hell hadn't she noticed? Wedding stress, she supposed. As if that wasn't enough, now she had a million new things to worry about.
How was she going to tell Heath?
It wasn't a bad thing, but it was still unnerving. She thought she'd have time to prepare, and actually talk to Heath before they even attempted starting a family. Not that they hadn't discussed it, but the conversations usually ended with both of them deciding to wait.
Of course, she also hadn’t been entirely truthful about her mission to find out whether she could have a baby or not, instead telling Heath that she and Brandi were having a girl’s day.
But how could she fault herself for that? She’d rather find out before getting Heath’s hopes up. Looking at the picture she now held in her hands, she smiled a little. There was worry, but also hope that everything would be okay. Her doctor had assured her that everything looked fine, but she still worried.
“Are you even listening to me?”
Everley jumped at the sound of Heath's voice and quickly folded and slipped the picture she had been staring at into her pocket. “When did you get home?”
“Are you all right?” he asked.
Sooner, rather than later was usually best, right? “Guess I just didn’t hear you come in.”
“I asked if you and Brandi had a good time,” he repeated. How many times had he asked? “Everley? Is something wrong?”
She was in such a fog, she couldn't remember what she and Brandi were supposed to be doing. “We didn't go to the movies,” she said.
“I know,” he laughed, “because you said you were going to go look for shoes for the wedding, remember?”
“We didn't do that either,” she frowned.
“Okay,” he nodded, making his way over to the couch and sitting next to her. “So… what could you two possibly be doing that you don't want me to find out about?”
“You caught me,” she smirked, “Brandi and I are super spies and we've been working on top secret missions-”
His laugh was so genuine and loud, that her nerves eased up a bit. “Why don't you tell me what's really got you acting so strange? What have you and Brandi been up to?”
“Trying to figure out what's wrong with me,” she said, “I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't want you to worry-”
“Everley, there's nothing wrong with you,” he said.
“That's what the first doctor said...”
“First? Oh Evie, why do I get the feeling you've got quite the story for me?” He kissed the top of her head, and brushed his fingers up and down her arm, relieved when he felt her start to relax.
“You know me too well.” Her voice was shaking, but she still found comfort in his embrace. “It's just...we kept talking about starting a family, and I wanted to make sure I could actually do that.”
“There are plenty of ways to have a family,” he said, “that's why we were talking about it. So, why don't you tell me about the first doctor?”
“He said I was fine,” she said, “so naturally, I didn't believe him. It never hurts to get a second opinion anyway, so I saw another doctor, and she said I was fine.”
“Let me guess,” he stopped her, “you didn't believe her either?”
“Nope.”
“I'm beginning to believe you were a doctor in another life, because you're a terrible patient.” When she flicked his shoulder, he laughed. “All right Doctor Romero, finish your story.”
“I didn't want to just take their word for it. I mean, what if I listened to them and it turned out they were wrong and I had to go through heartbreak all over again? I don't think I could handle a third loss.” She thought about the picture in her pocket, and the third doctor's assurance that everything looked good.
“If you're not sure, we can try something else,” he said. “I'm not against other routes of becoming parents.”
“I know,” she said, “and I'm not either. It's just, if I can have at least one...”
“You'd like to give it a try,” he nodded, “I get that.”
“So I dragged Brandi to a third doctor today,” she confessed, though she was certain by now he already knew that.
“What's the verdict?” he asked.
“I wasn't trying to lie to you,” she stammered, “I just didn't want to get your hopes up before I was absolutely certain-”
“You're stalling,” he said. “I understand your reasons, and I'm not mad about that. But you can’t leave me hanging here.”
“She said I'm fine,” Everley admitted.
“And you believe her?” he asked. “Third time’s a charm, right?”
“We’ll say I have my doubts, but I’m really hoping she’s right. That they were all right.”
“Let me guess,” he chuckled. “Brandi won't let you drag her to any more doctors?”
“Well...” She was pretty embarrassed about that one. When her friend offered to go with her, she was pretty sure she didn’t think she’d be dragged to every doctor in the surrounding area. “Let's just say she made sure to say all sorts of indecent things. I'm pretty sure I'm on some sort of blacklist now. Especially if I bring Brandi with me.”
“So,” he twisted a few stray curls around his fingers and gave a playful little tug. “Three doctors have told you you're fine. The rest is up to us I guess. What do you want to do?”
Everley took a deep breath and slid her hand into her pocket, pulling out the now folded picture. She handed it to Heath, “Pray I don't get violently ill on our honeymoon?”
He opened up the picture and she watched as a huge grin formed on his face. “It's a peanut,” he said, “right?”
“That's what I said!” she laughed, leaning on him again to look at the little peanut.
“So, you were so busy trying to figure out what was wrong with you, that you failed to realize you were pregnant?”
“I guess fate was sick of me getting an obscene amount of opinions too,” she shrugged. “And doctor three says everything looks good. I mean, it's still early, but she said she'd keep an extra close eye on me. She wants to see me again before we leave. Probably because she knew I was going to bug her anyway.”
“I’m sure that was her reasoning, it sounds like you were quite persistent.”
She grinned, knowing that he was right on the money with that observation. “I can’t help it. I feel kind of sorry for you, being stuck with such a pain in the ass for the rest of your life.”
“I'm a glutton for punishment.”
Everley figured he had to be if he willingly volunteered to put up with her.
“Do you think it's a boy peanut, or a girl peanut?” he asked, studying the picture like he thought the answer would reveal itself. “Are you sure there's only one peanut in there?”
She started laughing at how silly he sounded, but before she knew it, giggles turned into tears. She couldn't understand it, he was happy. Nothing in his words or tone said that he was upset or displeased with the unexpected turn of events. The doctor said she was fine, said the baby was fine. She wanted this more than anything, so why was she suddenly feeling like the entire world was crumbling around her?
“Evie?” Suddenly alert, he set the picture down and wrapped his arms around her. “Hey, everything’s going to be fine. We’ve got this, okay?”
Okay, now she'd scared him. “Sorry,” she sniffled.
He shifted a bit and settled his hand on her still flat belly. “Everything will be fine,” he said again as he kissed her forehead.
The
re was no way he could possibly know that, but the words were oddly comforting.
Besides, maybe he was right. Maybe this time, things would be just fine.
***
After Avery was born, Everley quit her job at the station. She figured at some point, she might want to go back to work, but right now, she just wanted to be a mother.
It was something that she had been denied for so long, and that first time she held Avery in her arms, she knew there was nothing else she'd rather do. They'd already discussed several options that included her returning to work. At the time, she still thought that was what she wanted, but when she brought up staying home to Heath, he was completely, and enthusiastically on board with the plan.
Right now though, Everley wanted to be alone, so she told Heath she had to run a quick errand before he left for work. He didn't question her, just asked that she bring Avery into the bedroom, smiling when she plopped the already awake and babbling infant onto the bed with his father. She gave both of them kisses, and promised to be quick.
Amelia's birthday was tomorrow, and despite all the good that had happened over the past few years, Everley still missed the daughter she never got to know. She and Heath would be keeping their tradition of cupcakes and a movie tomorrow, and he would visit their daughter.
It was something she still hadn’t been able to do. She'd tried, when she first came back to town, but that had ended up turning into a giant mess, and after that, she decided it was still too painful.
But now, it was something she couldn't avoid any longer, something she shouldn't have avoided at all. If she told Heath where she was going, he'd want to come with her, and while his need to protect her wasn’t a bad thing, she needed to do this alone, even if it was just once. She needed to see her daughter, visit her, and make up for all that time she'd been away.
Armed with a beautiful bouquet of roses, she made her way through the cemetery, already feeling the tears prickling as she approached Amelia's grave.
Once there, she knelt down and placed the flowers by the headstone. She couldn't bring herself to say anything, too choked up to speak, and knowing she didn't know what to say anyway.
All Everley could think of was what could have been, what should have been. Would she and Heath have stayed together had their daughter survived? Would they be as happy as they were now, or would there be resentment? Neither would have wandered far from Mer Harbor, or chased their dreams like they'd always planned. Was it better that they both ran away, only to discover they never wanted to leave, or would it have been better to never have left at all?
No, she decided. They would have been happy. They were both young, suddenly taking on a huge responsibility that would have changed their lives forever, but the one dream that stood above everything else, was their dream to be together.
She knew it the first time he kissed her that there would never be anyone else quite like him, and he probably knew it long before that. He'd always loved her, and even though she tried to deny it at times, she had always loved him. They would have made it, she decided. Just like now, it wouldn't have been perfect, but it would have been good.
Her heart started breaking all over again, as she wondered what Amelia would be like. Would she have been headstrong and rebellious, like Everley? Or maybe she'd have been more like Heath, calm and rational.
Avery would never know his sister, and that made Everley hurt even more. Every time she looked at him, she thought of her. Avery had the same big, hazel eyes his sister had. Everley’s eyes. Sometimes, looking at her son as he smiled up at her, she wondered if that was how her daughter would have looked, waking up in the morning. Would she relentlessly harass her father into waking up, with giggles and pulled hair?
What would she be like now? Almost a teenager. Would they butt heads, or would they be close? Would she be a daddy's girl still, or try and pull away?
If Amelia had survived, would Avery even be here?
“Everley?” Someone called to her softly, and she knew it was Heath. She didn't get up, didn't turn to face him, still too shaky and tearful to trust her balance. “I thought you might be here,” he said, as he sat down next to her, Avery sleeping soundly over his shoulder. “I didn't want to bother you, but it was getting late...”
“Oh god,” she took a quick look at her watch, “I'm sorry-”
“Don't worry about it,” he said, “I called in, but I was still worried about you. Just wanted to make sure everything was all right.”
“I just...” She sighed as she shifted from her now uncomfortable kneeling position to sit down. “I needed to try.”
“Do you need me to leave?” He asked.
“No,” she shook her head, “I'm okay now.” She scooted closer to him, and rested her head on his shoulder, sharing the limited space with Avery, who didn't seem to mind. She kissed the little boy's nose, and giggled when he wrinkled it, and opened an eye to look at her. “Do you ever wonder what she would have been like?” she asked.
“All the time,” he answered. “But sometimes, I think that maybe she’s not that far away at all. That she’s always with us somehow.”
She liked that sentiment: Never too far away.
About The Author
Christina Ann Gist
Telling stories before she could even write, Christina grew up knowing she wanted to be an author. She "published" her first stories with construction paper and handwritten pages for her family and friends. Now, with the magic of technology, she's able to share her characters and stories with the world.
When she's not writing, you can find her dabbling in her other favorite hobbies such as photography, stargazing, and of course: looking for her next adventure.
You can find more by Christina Ann Gist at:
thesaltynomad.com
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