Tucker slapped him on the back. “Hey, don’t hate yourself. Dad had a heart attack, for God’s sake. Mom told us about the way all of you sat by his bedside terrified he was dying. And how he told you he wanted you to take on the reins of the winery and go forward with the plans he was making with Nicole’s father—and marry his daughter in the bargain. That is a pretty heavy demand. Not easy for a son to refuse.”
“At the time I felt honored to be the one he was making it to and didn’t want to let him down.”
“Right. Honored and trapped. I remember thinking how unfair it was at the time because you were in love with Em.”
“You could tell I loved her?” Matt studied Tucker. Tuck had always been the tallest and had the most powerful build of the four Rocklyn sons, but he had also been the hyperactive clown of the family. Even as an adult, he was an entertaining charmer, especially when it came to women. NoFo Pedal and Paddle, his business where he rented and sold bikes and paddle boards and kayaks, as well as offering fitness training, allowed him to keep moving instead of being stuck in an office.
“Yeah, I saw that you were in love. And Em was good for you. Loosened up some of your old school duty-bound tight-ass ways. But then you came back from Europe and it was all gone.”
“You saw that too?”
Tucker nodded. “Yeah. That was why I asked if you knew what you were doing rushing into a marriage with Nicole. You didn’t want to hear it. You were dead set on being the good son, even if it messed up your life.”
Matt smirked. “Meanwhile, you were always good at doing whatever the hell you wanted and not caring what Dad thought of you.”
“Well, I didn’t have the pressure of being the oldest son.”
“It wasn’t just that, Tuck. A lot of kids would have caved at some of the insulting things Dad said to you, but you never did. You’ve got to teach me how to do that because I’ve got a major bomb to drop on him.”
“Beyond the wine bar issue?”
“Yeah. Em has a three-year-old daughter. And she’s mine.”
Tucker stopped walking and stood there gaping at Matt with his jaw hanging open.
Matt laughed. “You’re probably too young to remember what Kendra looked like at three years old.”
“I don’t remember. I would have been only five, but I’ve seen old photos.”
“Well, that’s exactly what little Sadie looks like.” Matt smiled just thinking of her. “I have been visiting with her and Em. Sometimes we take her to the park or just sit at home and play games. We met with Rainy and she is drawing up papers to establish legal paternity and child support.” His cousin Rainy didn’t work for a legal firm anymore but she still had a license to practice family law in the state.
“And now you want the family to meet your daughter.”
“Yep, except it’s kind of awkward because Em and I haven’t worked things out between us yet. She hasn’t agreed to start dating me again. It’s all about Sadie at this point, but I want Em back.”
“Then I think you better hold off on the family intro for now. Too much too soon. And don’t hedge or come off uncertain with Em. Call her up and ask her out to dinner.”
“What if she says no?”
“Then keep asking until she says yes.”
***
Matt spent time every Wednesday and Thursday afternoon with Em and Sadie, since those were the days Em did not work at the bait and tackle shop.
And she had to admit she looked forward to seeing him each time.
Spring had come and with it some warmer weather so the three of them would take walks to the park or to the Sound. Em loved watching Matt and Sadie together on the swings or looking up at a squirrel in a tree or digging into the sand or collecting pretty pebbles by the water. Matt usually took them for ice cream or some kind of treat afterward. And he always called Em to see what he could pick up for lunch before he came to visit.
Sadie allowed Matt to carry her now and whenever he arrived at the house she let out excited squeals. He always had a gift for her, and today he brought a playhouse that he set up in the backyard. Em put some snacks together, set a blanket on the ground next to the playhouse, and the three of them had a picnic.
At one point when Sadie was in her playhouse talking to one of her dolls, while Em and Matt sat on the blanket, Em began to wonder if she had become his dirty little secret—the very thing she swore she would never allow herself to be. Yes, he had introduced her to his cousin the attorney and made it clear he wanted to legally claim Sadie as his, but they never went out in public except to the local beach or park. And he never mentioned his family, except in reference to finding a new space for the wine bar. And they certainly did not talk about marriage.
But then she thought about the way he kept asking her to go out with him— just the two of them—and she kept refusing. Maybe…
She turned to face Matt, and caught him gazing at her, the look in his eyes so sexy, yet she could swear it was the look of a man in love.
Did Matt really love her? He had said it that first day they saw each other, but had not said it since. Was it because of her constant rebuffs?
Without giving it another thought, she leaned toward him and planted a quick kiss on his mouth.
Surprised, his eyebrows shot up. “Was that for the playhouse?”
“No, that was for me. Do you still want to take me to dinner some night?”
“Just say when.” His hand reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“I’ll see if my dad or Ivy would be willing to babysit for me on Friday night. Does that work for you?”
So on Friday night Em dressed up in a silky blue low-cut blouse and skinny jeans and heels, then drove herself to the restaurant. She wanted to have her own transportation home in case things got uncomfortable. There was too much at stake here. For one thing, her daughter was crazy about Matt and loved having a daddy. Em did not want anything happening between her and Matt to make Sadie’s weekly outings with him end. The other thing was—if Em let herself admit how much she still loved him, she would be so vulnerable it was dangerous.
Of course Matt had picked The Bolton, a high-end seafood place that happened to be where they had gone to celebrate her birthday when they were together. It was on the first floor of an inn—where they had also spent the night.
When she walked in, Matt was waiting for her at the piano bar. He looked fantastic, not that he was wearing anything special—just dark jeans and a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to show his gorgeous forearms. But somehow knowing they were on a date tonight allowed Em to drop her protective wall at least long enough to enjoy the outstanding looks of this drool worthy man watching her from across the room.
Matt opened his arms and she practically flew right into them, as if a powerful magnet had pulled her. He held her close, his lips grazing her temple, and he whispered, “I love you, Em. I never loved anyone the way I love you.”
With that kind of beginning to the evening, who knew where it would go?
“I love you too, Matt,” she murmured without looking up at him. “That’s why you were able to hurt me so badly.”
“I want to spend the rest of our lives making it up to you.”
Whoa. She swallowed and gently pushed back. “You’re going a little too fast for me.”
“Let me get you a drink.”
“Just seltzer tonight. I’m driving.”
Before he could order her drink, the hostess approached them and led them into the restaurant, Matt’s hand on the small of her back warming Em to her core.
They sat at a table by a window that looked out on the harbor and Peconic Bay. It was already dark, but Em loved to see the lights reflecting off the water.
“I guess I could have one glass of wine.”
Matt turned to the waiter and said, “We’ll have a bottle of Rocklyn Sauvignon blanc.” He glanced back to her. “Em, do you want to start with a shrimp cocktail and a beet and blueberry salad?”
“Yes.” She grinned. After four years he remembered what she liked and was obviously trying to let her know that.
At first they talked about Sadie, laughing at some of the things she did. Then Em asked him about his son and when Matt spoke about him it was clear he adored the boy.
“What kind of work have you been doing in your graphic design business?”
“Nothing exciting. A logo for a new restaurant, a brochure for a summer camp, a banner ad for an insurance company. I got to do a billboard for a car dealer last year.”
“Did you do any graphics for your father’s store? I thought I saw something about an angling workshop?”
“Yeah, that’s one thing I convinced him to do. Give workshops and even some private tutoring to people who want to fish but don’t know the first thing about it. Although, Phil, who owns the Albatross, is an experienced angler and he says he’s learned a ton from my father.”
“Wasn’t your grandfather a commercial fisherman?”
“He was. My father was for a while too. It is not an easy life.”
As they ate their appetizers and then both had Montauk monkfish, Em avoided asking about his family. Considering the way he was trying to manipulate his father to help her, she could see why he might want to keep her away from them. She just hoped that was the only reason.
As if reading her mind, Matt said, “I told Tucker about Sadie. I want you to bring her to one of our family dinners, but we can’t do it until this thing with my father is settled.”
“That makes perfect sense, Matt. It is probably also a good idea to wait and see where you and I stand with each other in the near future.”
“You know where I stand, Em. I’ve made no secret about wanting another chance with you. Where do you stand?”
When she hesitated, he added, “We were so good together.”
Em looked up at him and said, “Let’s get a room upstairs and see if we still are.”
***
Needless to say, they skipped dessert.
The minute they stepped into the room upstairs they were all over each other. Em thought the fact that she had been celibate for so long might be a factor, but she knew the real reason was Matt. Just being around him had always done this to her, and she was tired of holding back out of fear and anger.
Matt was kissing her so hard it almost hurt. He tasted of wine and his skin had that familiar scent of citrus she had secretly relished every time he came to visit Sadie. Arms gripping her so tight, he slid one hand up to the back of her head, holding her as his tongue dove in and danced with hers, his other hand curling around her bottom. Em bunched his shirt in her fists, loving the feel of his erection pressing into her.
He began unbuttoning her blouse and Em took over, sliding it off and to the floor. And immediately doing the same for his shirt. When she went for the button on his jeans, Matt beat her to it, and Em went ahead and slid her jeans down and toed off her shoes to complete the job.
“You are as exquisite as I remember, Em.”
Matt pulled her into his arms again, his lips ravaging hers, then moving down her throat to her shoulder where he slid her bra strap down and unhooked the clasp at her back. His hands caressed her breasts and then he bent his head to lick and suck her hardened nipples.
Em moaned at the sensation and threaded her fingers in his hair. She had missed his tender mercies.
He tucked his thumbs into her panties and slid them down her legs, kissing each foot as he lifted it out. Then he licked his way back up her legs to her lady bundle and proceeded to worship her with his mouth.
Knowing she would collapse if he were not holding her, Em felt herself building and building, her heart racing so fast, her clit throbbing. When he added his fingers, sliding them into her folds, she soared into an orgasm calling his name.
And this time her knees did give out. But Matt caught her, lifted her in his arms, and carried her to the bed.
Shoving his boxer briefs to the floor, Matt grabbed his jeans and pulled a condom out of his wallet. “I can’t be slow right now, Em, okay?”
“I’m feeling pretty impatient myself, Matt.”
“I love hearing my name on your lips.” He grinned. “Especially when you come.”
“Wise guy.” Em snatched the condom from his hand, tore it open, and rolled it onto his cock. She pulled him down on top of her, feeling her breasts full against his chest, and slid her hand down to stroke him. He sucked in a sharp breath and set himself at her opening.
Matt teased her a bit, moving the tip of his shaft slightly in and out until she was shuddering with need. “Please, Matt.”
He dragged his lips along the side of her face to her ear. “Did you call my name, babe? Something you want?”
“Mmmm hmm.”
He drove into her in one hard thrust and her core clenched around him, taking him in deep. He began moving faster and faster, his hips rolling and pumping.
“You know I am the only one who can make love to you the way you like,” he murmured in her ear as he slammed into her over and over, his blistering kisses all over her face, her mouth.
Em wrapped her legs around his waist and met every thrust, racing with him toward the crest of the wave they were riding.
She loved when his voice dropped to that sultry tone and he acted like he wanted to possess her, heart and soul. And as they surged over the wave together, screaming out their exhilaration, she knew he already owned her.
She knew she could never love anyone but Matt.
Chapter Eight
“You are so happy lately,” Nicole said to Matt, who was laughing and running around with his son on his shoulders, making the boy shriek with joy. “Things must be going great with the vineyard.”
“I noticed it too, Matthew,” his mother said. “You even look healthier.”
Matt exchanged a glance with Tucker and quickly looked away. Tuck was the only one who knew he was involved with Em now. Matt should have guessed someone here at the family post-Easter gathering would see the change in him.
Matt’s mother always invited Nicole and her parents to all their family gatherings, since they were still close friends and both Matt’s father and hers were still involved in several joint business ventures on the East End. Of course Nicole was the mother of their grandson too, so it was a good thing he and Nicole had been able to part ways amicably.
What was not so good was how they might all react when Matt brought Em and Sadie home. And he intended to do just that, as soon as the situation with the Greenport property was resolved. Yet another secret. At least Uncle Matt was with him on that one.
And it was looking good because they had finally found a space that was much better suited to the wine bar than the space the bait and tackle store was in. He should have no trouble convincing his father to switch. He and his uncle were just waiting for some specs from the owner.
“Yeah, things are going great,” Matt said, carefully handing his son back to Nicole.
“How are things going with Stephan?” he asked Nicole, leaning toward her, his voice pitched low. She glared at him, obviously not wanting anyone else to hear his question. Ironically, Nicole had also gone back to an old flame and had told Matt she was planning to marry the man, but she still had not broken the news to her parents or the Rocklyns—both of whom were holding on to the hope that Matt and Nicole would get back together.
Meanwhile, all Matt could think about was Em.
Now on Wednesdays and Thursdays when Em was home while her dad worked at the shop, she picked up Sadie from daycare a little later—so she and Matt could have an hour or so alone. Most of the time they made love, but sometimes they just talked and kissed and laughed.
They did not get specific about their relationship. They both agreed to just let it take its course for now. But Matt knew what he wanted.
He wanted Em and Sadie to live with him and be his forever and always.
***
Em was six years old when it happened
. Her father had not come home that night. He was working on a fishing boat that would be gone for several days. Em hated when he went away because her mother would have her friends come over and they would get drunk and loud.
Hiding in her bedroom, Em usually stayed awake on those nights because of all the noise. And she just did not like those strange people her mother brought into their house.
There were always some big scary men, and one night one of those men came into her bedroom in the dark. He sat on her bed and started grabbing her and kissing her and putting his hands under her nightgown. When she tried to get away from him, he gripped her by the throat, choking her, and ripped her nightgown open from collar to hem.
He crawled on top of her and Em screamed and punched and kicked and he slapped her so hard she saw stars. But she reached her arm overhead as far as she could and clasped her hand around the lamp on her night table and smashed it on the man’s face. He yelled and backed away and her mother finally came into the room.
And she laughed. Her mother laughed at what happened. Her mother thought it was funny. She did not even look at Em but walked close to the man and touched the cut on the man’s forehead and said, “Come on, Joe, I’ll put some iodine on that.”
Then she walked out of the room, still laughing.
Em curled on her side, shaking and crying, telling herself she got him good with the lamp. Telling herself he wouldn’t come back.
But maybe he would.
Maybe he would.
When Matt and Em were a couple during that year when she fell in love with him, he used to call her every night so she could sleep.
These days Em was sleeping so much better again. Matt’s presence somehow obliterated the darkness for her. He had always been able to do that.
Sure, having frequent sex with a hot guy like Matt who wanted to protect her definitely changed the picture. But it was also because Matt had begun calling her every night again the way he used to. His voice and the things he said always soothed the nervous child inside of her that somehow resurfaced when she was alone in bed in the dark.
Sweet and Sassy Baby Love Page 7