He drives past the hotel he’s been living at for the past two months now. He’ll never see that hotel the same. “I’ll be damned if I live in a hotel room one night longer,” he says to himself.
He can’t afford to be stopped with as much as he’s had to drink – not to mention the bottle of whisky sitting on the passenger seat and the loaded handgun in his briefcase He makes sure he doesn’t speed. He’s careful to stop at every light, and every stop sign, until he’s outside the city limits and on the highway that snakes it’s way through the hill country to his home – yes his home!
He’s driven this road hundreds of times before, but now his head is spinning. Ryan’s headlights illuminate the road ahead. The cool night wind blows through all the open windows and the sunroof. He does his best to stay awake and focused on the road ahead. The private school where Ben attends comes up on his right.
How much money? How many dollars did I spend on that boy without any help from his own mom and not a dime of child support from his own dad? I was the only father he’s ever known. All my time, my money, and my efforts, and now it all counts for nothing.
It doesn’t take long before Ryan rushes past the last neighborhood on the highway. This is where he and Kate almost bought a house before deciding on a bigger, more private, place twenty miles further.
She made that house? She made it? She wouldn’t even have a house if not for me.
At first Ryan is driving fine, but things change as the road begins to twist and turn. The whisky bottle rolls to the right, bangs against the door, and then rolls back to the left, as Ryan weaves across the center lane and then swerves back almost running off the shoulder.
Here we go again. She had nothing when we met––nothing! Now she wants everything? I tried to be reasonable. All I wanted was my house,,,, my house! But that wasn’t enough for her was it? Now she’s going to record me? RECORD ME? It’s a decision she’ll soon regret.
Ryan drives right up to another car in front of him. Without the least bit of concern for oncoming traffic, he accelerates to ninety-five miles an hour and soars past the car barely avoiding a collision when he returns to his lane. The driver honks her horn, but he speeds out of sight. Ryan doesn’t give it a second thought. It might have been a close call, but it doesn’t deter him in the least. He has one last plan and, God help him, it cannot fail.
He continues at the same high rate of speed through the twisting, turning, road. His passenger side wheels slide along the shoulder a few times as he tries to remain in the right lane. He finally gives up and starts using both lanes like they’re one. Ryan slams his hands against the steering wheel and shouts, “That house is mine. I will never let her take it from me.”
Ryan looks down at the clock on his dashboard. It’s 1:24 AM. He knows Kate well. She’ll probably be sound asleep by now. Suddenly he hears the blaring horn of an oncoming pickup. When he jerks his head up, he’s blinded by the headlights coming right at him and he realizes, for the first time, that he’s driving in the middle of the wrong lane. Barely able to think or react, he swerves violently to the right and yells, “Son of a bitch!”
The briefcase holding his gun flies off the front seat and crashes onto the floorboard. Ryan’s Mercedes hits the gravel on his right so he swerves back to the left and skids along the shoulder. Dirt and gravel creates a cloud of smoke behind him before he’s able to regain control and return to the safety of his own lane.
Slow down, echoes through Ryan’s head just as he reaches the top of the embankment and approaches the next left turn. This sharp turn catches many sober drivers on this highway by complete surprise. Ryan has almost missed this turn once or twice himself and thought, “One day someone’s gonna be killed on that turn.”
Ryan never sees the sign warning drivers to go no faster than thirty-five miles per hour. He tries to swerve left, but it’s too late. His car slams into the guardrail with a crash so loud it sounds like thunder or a large explosion. “Shit,” he screams. There’s nothing left for him to do.
His Mercedes goes airborne for about fifty feet before crashing on its side against the trees and brush. It flies down the ravine, flipping several times, and landing upside down over a hundred feet below. The impact is so brutal as his car slams into a large boulder and almost breaks in two before bursting into an inferno. As soon as the flames hit the full tank of gas, Ryan’s car explodes sending a ball of fire into the beautiful, hill country sky.
Early the next morning, a motorist heading into work calls 911 when they see the smoke from the smoldering fire down below. Seeing everything from so far above, it’s hard to know exactly what’s going on. Two more calls follow shortly afterwards with a similar description.
It takes almost an hour for the sheriff’s department, the fire department, and then an ambulance to arrive. There’s no easy path down to the bottom. The police and firefighters find parts of Ryan’s Mercedes scattered throughout the rocks, boulders, live oak and ash juniper trees, and the limestone. It’s not easy wading through the overgrown brush and the thick grass that rises above their waists.
Over an hour later, they finally make their way down the ravine to the crumpled mess. You’d never know it was once a car if it weren’t for the broken guardrail above. Ryan’s body is burnt so badly it’s unrecognizable. They do their best to put his remains into a body bag and carry it away.
– CHAPTER 44 –
T he investigators find an empty bottle of whisky sitting on Ryan’s desk and a broken glass on the floor. His Last Will and Testament is sitting on the corner of his desk protected by a beautiful metal case.
Ryan leaves everything he owns equally to Grace, Hope, and Bonnie except for the $250,000 that will go to his church to continue his married couples’ ministry. His house is to be sold immediately. The money from the sale is to be given to his kids. The gold Rolex watch he bought for Christian….or Zach…..to wear is to be burned with his body.
There’s no mention in his will (or anywhere else) of the secret closet in the guesthouse. It was designed so only Ryan would know it exists. Hopefully, it will never be discovered.
Attached to the back of his will is a letter he wrote to his daughters:
==================================================
My Dear Grace and Hope:
Both you girls are such wonderful, beautiful women. I’m so very proud of you. Your mother would be proud of you too. You have been the love of my life. I’m so sorry I let you down.
I can never ask you to forgive me for all I’ve taken from you. I can’t even forgive myself. I hope my death brings you some peace. Just please know I would change everything if I could.
Attached to this letter you will find the directions to your mother’s place of burial. Her body may be there but I’m sure she’s now at home with the Lord.
I’m leaving now to be with Colt. I know I will see you again one day. Please take care of each other until that day.
Love Always
Dad
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Underneath this letter are two small envelopes each with a separate letter inside. “Grace” is written on the first envelope, and “Hope” is written on the second. They’re not in Ryan’s handwriting. They’re the letters their mom wrote while in the prison hospital before she died.
Pursuant to Ryan’s wishes, his body is to be cremated immediately. He wants no memorial and asks that nothing be published in any of the newspapers or anywhere else. No mention of his death is to be posted on the Internet or any social media. After spending his whole life helping others, it’s like he never existed.
Grace and Hope both thought Ryan would want to be buried next to Colt, but Ryan asked that his ashes be spread across a hill where he played when he was a little boy. Standing on that hill flying his kite was the last time in his life he could ever remember being truly happy.
– CHAPTER 45 –
A month after Ryan’s death, Grace gives birth to her se
cond child. He’s a little boy who looks a lot like Ryan. It’s the first time the reality of it all sinks in––her little boy will never know his grandmother or grandfather. One day Bonnie will have no memory of the man who built a magnificent house, a guesthouse, a swimming pool, and a horse stable just for her. She was his world. The summers she spent at her Gampa’s house will surely fade away.
Grace is already starting to regret everything. She was always “Daddy’s little girl.” Everywhere he went she followed behind. He taught her how to swim, ride her bike, and drive a car. He reviewed all her schoolwork, and they sat side-by-side when she filled out her college applications. Her dad had a playful wit and a keen intelligence that was beyond anyone she’s ever known. He was always there for her. In her most difficult moments she’d always call her dad for advice and the advice was always spot on. Now she’s left with no one to call.
Why? Why did he have to go? Yes she was angry, but she would have forgiven him. Surely he had to know that.
Soon Hope will have to return to California for her next semester of school. For now, she’s been staying with Grace, trying to understand just what happened. Part of her feels responsible for it all. If she just stopped digging she’d still have her dad and he’d still be her hero. Her better judgment still tells her that she had to know the truth. Sometimes ignorance isn’t bliss at all.
It’s been two months, and Hope still hasn’t heard from Blake. She misses him so much. She would go back and change things if she could, but she can’t bring herself to call him. She caused him so much hurt after he was always there for her. Plus, how can she ever explain how it all played out?
It’s almost noon, and she’s still in bed. She spends a lot of time in bed lately. Falling asleep at night and getting up in the morning usually feels impossible. She can hear Bonnie playing downstairs and knows she should get around, but she can’t. It’s just too hard. She lays her head back on her pillow again. Suddenly a text chimes in on her phone.
Blake
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Today, 12:14 p.m.
I miss you. Things aren’t the same without you. Can you forgive me?
Today, 6:48 p.m.
I miss you too. Can we talk?
Today, 8:52 p.m.
I’d love that!
– CHAPTER 46 –
S ix months later, Hope and Grace plan a trip to Thailand. Blake wants to come, but Hope asks him to stay. Jackson’s been so busy with work lately, that Grace hardly sees him anymore. He doesn’t have time for anything. He left on a business trip the day before Grace and Hope leave to Thailand. It will only be the girls and Grace’s children on this trip.
By the time their plane lands in Thailand, Hope has finished her now favorite book, Gone With The Wind. They arrive late at night and go straight to their hotel to get some sleep. It’s a fabulous place located far, far away from Khaosan Road.
The next day they catch a taxi to the Bangkok Remand Prison to see the place where their Mother spent the last three years of her life. The white walls with razor wire running across the top are hard to look at. As they approach the front, a prison bus stops at the front gates. Two guards with guns strapped to their shoulders, stand on each side of the bus and opens the gate for the bus to enter. Hope and Grace stand there frozen in place. How scared their mom must have felt when she was first brought here in handcuffs. Hope’s eyes tear up so Grace reaches out and pulls her close.
As soon as Grace walks through the front door she can feel the same hopelessness, Hope felt when she first walked in. She wants to see the cramped prison cells, the giant cafeteria, and the bathing troughs, but no one is allowed past the visiting area. They can’t even take photos. When on vacation, Grace is known to sneak a quick picture when they aren’t allowed, but she doesn’t dare try that here. Both Hope and Grace know from their Internet searches exactly why visitors can’t go in. Really, it’s for the best.
They make their way to the visitation area. So many people are waiting in a room for their place at the dark, dirty, window. Both women and men walk up on the other side looking dirty, thin, and terrified. Everyone has to talk loud enough to be heard over the crowd.
It’s hot and sticky so they don’t stay long. They leave the prison and head to Tian’s home. Hope and Grace are sure she’ll want to go to the cemetery as much as they do. Hope has been looking forward to this part of the trip almost as much as seeing her mom’s gravesite.
It’s been so long since Hope was here that she recognizes nothing until they finally arrive at the apartments – if you call them that. The place is even more run-down then the last time she was here. Several windows are now broken, and the wall on the left is completely gone. There are still clothes hanging across the middle area and little children running around everywhere.
Hope knows exactly where Tian lives so she goes right up and knocks on the door. After a few minutes, a large Asian woman opens the door wearing a housedress and slippers.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Hope begins. “We’re looking for Tian?”
“Mi,” the woman says.
“Tian,” Hope repeats. “Doesn’t Tian live here?”
“Mi,” the woman says shaking her head and closes the door.
Both Hope and Bonnie ask up and down the walkway, but no one understands enough English to know what they’re talking about. They get back in the taxi having no idea how to reach Tian again.
The next morning, they follow Ryan’s directions to the cemetery. It’s the most beautiful place they’ve ever seen. The grass is as green as a field of freshly cut emeralds. Beautiful trees are strategically planted to create an almost magical feeling. A beautiful stream runs right through the middle with several cute little bridges for visitors to cross.
They follow the stream until it pours into a beautiful pond with a fountain in the middle of the pond shooting up to the heavens. Next to the pond is one large tree covered in beautiful white flowers that seems out of place.
“That’s the spot,” Hope shouts, and they have the taxi driver let them out.
They walk across the soft green grass until they’re standing under the tree. There’s only a handful of other headstones in this area. Hope and Grace expected to find some old headstone covered in weeds with overgrown grass. Instead, sitting in the shade of the tree, is a magnificent monument with an angel maybe six feet tall looking down on Faith. The grass is neatly manicured, and there are six rows of red, yellow, and orange flowers planted in front of the headstone. The flowers create a wonderful scent that you cannot miss the second you walk up.
In the middle of the headstone is a beautiful, hand-painted, picture of their mom. It’s the most beautiful picture of her they’ve ever seen. Underneath her picture is a hand-painted picture of Grace, Colt, and Hope Then there’s the small cross. Neither Grace nor Hope understand the significance of the cross because their mom’s fourth baby miscarried before they were told. It’s the last school pictures they took before Faith died. At the bottom of the headstone it reads:
“Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” —Hebrews 11:1
“In Our Memory You Will Live Forever”
“She’s so beautiful,” Hope says.
Bonnie goes right up, points at Faith’s picture on the headstone, and says, “Mommy, it’s you!”
“It’s not me,” Grace says as tears fill her eyes. “This is your grandma.”
“My grandma?” Bonnie asks looking confused.
“Yes baby, this is your real grandma.”
Bonnie looks at Grace and Hope crying and asks, “Why are you crying?”
“Because we miss grandma,” Hope says holding Bonnie in her arms and kissing her forehead.
Hope takes the pictures she laminated of Mali and Tian and places them in front of the headstone. “Here Mama,” she says. “I thought you’d like this.”
She takes their mom’s Bible, now in a glass case, and leans
it against the headstone. Her favorite scriptures are all marked with a pencil.
Grace and Hope spread a blanket by the pond so they can stay for a while. Bonnie runs around and around the tree until she finally tires herself out and collapses on the blanket.
On the plane ride to Thailand, Hope and Grace discussed the idea of bringing their mom back to the United States. Now that they’ve been here––that they’ve seen the magnificent gravesite––it’s clear she should stay right here.
It’s a beautiful spring day, and the sun is shining bright. The shade from the tree keeps everyone cool. After sitting there for almost an hour, Grace turns to Hope and asks, “Are you ready to go?”
Hope looks like she’s deep in thought. When she doesn’t answer, Grace walks up to the massive monument and starts wiping away the leaves and dirt. The flowers have fallen out of the vase, so she picks them up and tries to stuff them back in, but they won’t go down. She looks in the vase and there’s a pink piece of paper inside. She takes out the paper, but can’t make anything out because it’s all written in Thai. It looks like some kind of bill or something. Hope is lying there, shutting out the rest of the world, so Grace straightens the paper and slips it into her pocket.
She looks over at Hope, who’s now lying on her back in a deep state of relaxation and meditation. She’s looking up at the clouds as they slowly float across the sky.
“Breathe in....Breath out.”
The sun breaks through the branches of the tree, and the warm sunlight shines across Hope’s face. The breeze gently blows her brown hair across her bright, green eyes. She takes in the smell of the grass, the perfume from the rows and rows of colorful flowers, and the beautiful flowers on the tree that was planted yesterday so tomorrow’s children can relax in its shade.
The Beginning of Hope: The Highly Anticipated, Mind-Blowing Sequel to the Killing of Faith (The Killing of Faith Series Book 2) Page 23