“I’m already tired,” I complained. “Quit trying to dicknotize me.”
He giggled.
“Trust me, you aren’t clever. Dicknosis has been thought of before.”
“You’ve been dicknotized before? Why didn’t you tell me?”
I frowned, wrapped my legs around his lower body, and dragged him to me.
“If you would ever actually read mind control erotica instead of just mocking me for it, you’d see that dicknosis is a pretty common trope.”
He started laughing like I pushed him over the edge of slap-happiness. “Oh is it? A common trope? Are we analyzing gay porn now like we’re literary snobs?”
“Will you just shut up? I’m tired and we need to get to the beach.”
He nibbled on my neck. “We were already at the beach.”
“Put your shorts on.”
His arm fell across my chest and it felt heavy and sticky. We kissed on and off, then my eyes grew heavy.
I was getting sleeeeepy.
And without further thought, Mark and I fell asleep in that tent... with all the windows down and our naked bodies on display for all to see.
“HEY GUYS, YOU’RE GONNA wanna put some shorts on.”
I squeezed my eyes, then tried to open them. Mark moved under me, then he started snoring again.
“Dudes,” Keegan said. “Get dressed. The kids want to come in and see you.”
“I’m up,” I said, even though I was still groggy. My arm was thrown across Mark’s chest and I was sleeping on my side, like usual. Mark was on his back, like usual. “Get up.” I slapped his sticky chest.
Mark grunted and started to wake up.
I slipped into my swim trunks, thankful, as always, that Mark didn’t force me into a banana hammock when we were around family. I slipped Mark’s feet into his tight little trunks and tried to force them up his legs. He woke up with me lifting his legs onto my shoulders and thrusting into him.
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to hide your naked ass in these shorts. Will you cooperate with me, please? The kids are going to visit us.”
“Where are we?” he asked.
Dammit!
He slipped his trunks on the rest of the way. Then he wiped his face. “Damn, I have blue balls.” He itched his crotch.
“Check your phone, how long were we out?”
He yawned, then stuck a knuckle in his ear and rubbed. “God, I’m beat.”
Alex’s voice drew closer to our tent. “I’ll get the cards,” he said. I watched his little hand grab the zipper on our door and slowly open it a few inches, then he ripped upward until he could slip in.
“Be gentle,” I admonished.
“Hey Chris. Hey Mark. I was worried about you, but Mrs. S said you were taking a nap.”
“We did take a nap.”
“They took the boat back and I said I didn’t want to go so I went with Caleb and Gabby but I didn’t sit in a kid seat and they said it was okay as long as I kept my buckle on and stayed still and we weren’t going very far but I sez that it wasn’t right but I couldn’t walk here by myself so I just had to do it.”
“Okay.” Holy shit. Slow down, kid.
“And Mrs. S said that maybe we can bike to the beach together after dinner and you guys will go in the water with me because I like it and I really want to show you the castle we made and how we buried a human and he died today but it’s okay because the water will wash him away and we got pick-tures with me laying next to the man’s head and he was really big and now we’re all really hungry.”
“Okay.” Still too fast.
“Are you hungry, too?”
“Yes. Mark is still sleepy so maybe we should move this conversation outside?”
“Yep. I’m looking for the games because Gabby said that she really likes the color matching game with the numbers that we played before and she wants to—”
“Okay, okay, okay. I’ll get the games.” I yawned and got off the air mattress.
Alex climbed onto the spot I left and poked his head near Mark’s head. “Mark,” he whispered in a loud, breathy tone. “Are you awake?”
“I am now,” he grumbled.
“Good. Will you play games with me and Gabby? I need help with the matching because I’m not as fast as the big kids and I—”
“Mark will play with us,” I said quickly. “But let’s let him lay there for a few more minutes. We can set up the cards while we wait for him.” I pulled out my handmade card game—the one that was a mixture of multiplayer solitaire and Speed with a dash of Uno thrown in to keep things interesting.
“Let’s set it up on my bed,” Alex proclaimed.
“Why don’t we play in their camper?”
Caleb chose that moment to stick his head against our screen door. “Can I play games with you? Dad said I had to ask Gabby and Gabby says I have to ask you.”
What’s with all these kids having to talk so damn fast all the time!
“Sure, dude.”
“Sure, dude!” Alex yelled. “Help us set it up!”
“In their camper,” I stressed.
“But I want to play it here on my bed.”
“Maybe we can do that tomorrow.” I shooed Caleb out the door, but Alex was being stubborn. “Come on, buddy.”
Alex came out the door with me and I moved the zipper down so he could finish shutting the door. Instead of finishing the zipper, he slipped back inside and pestered Mark some more.
“Are you coming?” I heard him ask.
“Yes.”
“Otay.”
“Give me kiss goodnight.”
Alex laughed in confusion and he and Mark wrestled on the air mattress. “No!” Alex said. “You’re not going to bed.”
“I think it’s nap time. Aren’t you tired?”
“No!”
I left them to their games and enjoyed hearing the kid’s protesting laughter. I offered to help start our early dinner, but then my parents showed up and said they would do the grilling and the potato packs.
“Just remember I can’t eat butter,” I said.
“We’ve known this for a decade,” my mom said dismissively. “It’s been how long since we had a problem?”
About four months and twenty-three days ago at Easter, but who’s keeping track?
Other than that slip up with the meat at our Easter dinner, my mom hadn’t made a dietary mistake for a few years. Often, if I didn’t trust what she made, I simply wouldn’t eat it. But my mom had sworn up and down that the meat she prepared that day was done specifically with me in mind.
Not the right place to bring that up again.
I retreated to Gabby and Caleb’s camper where we set up the card game. It could accommodate anywhere from two to eight players easily. Actually, you could play a solitaire version both against yourself or timed against an opponent. You could also play with three people, or with six different decks at the same time.
If you played with more than six decks at the same table or more than eight people, then you ran out of elbow room. You could still do it, but then the game would benefit those in the middle and those on the outside would almost become splinter sections and unable to reach the long discard distances.
Of course, you could also pick a teammate to stand behind you as a runner who would ‘run’ your cards around the table if they were out of reach. We played a round like that once featuring sixteen people. Then after that round ended, we switched the runners with the deck operators and then we averaged the score to declare the victor.
That was an intense game of craziness.
But for just our small group, we could all fit around a medium-size table without problem. There was both a compact way to set up the cards and a more expansive, easier-to-understand-at-a-glance arrangement.
We went with the expansive setup so that Alex would be able to play along and we played a game at a slow pace so he could get used to matching the colors. He had a hard time with making the numbers
go in order... especially when dealing with sixes and nines.
For that reason, Alex was on my team and Caleb and Gabby each had their own decks. Mark grumbled on his way into the camper halfway through our game. He was still shirtless, as per usual. Caleb put his cards down to take off his own shirt. Alex looked like he was about to do the same, but I grabbed him by the waist and sat him on my lap, telling him to focus.
Mark took the fourth deck of cards and dealt himself into our game. He was very casual about his flips and tosses, but underneath his smoothness I could see his eagerness to stump the kids. Anytime Caleb went for the discard pile, Mark tried to get there first.
“Uncle Mark!” Caleb would say.
“Mine was first.”
“Uncle Mark!” Gabby would say when she was targeted.
“Mine was first.”
I watched Mark watch the kids play their cards and set up a trap of my own.
I pointed to a card for Alex to play and made it as discreet as possible. Gabby happened to finally see the same play at the same time, which was the same discard that Mark also was waiting for.
Alex played his. He didn’t time it perfectly, but Gabby still complained.
“Alex! I had that one.”
Alex laughed.
“Alex!” Mark said. “I had that one.”
Alex laughed.
“Say mine was first,” I whispered.
“MINEWASFIRST!”
“Good job. Now focus.”
Alex was too excited about getting another card ‘first’ so he lost the rhythm of the game. We ended up beating Mark by a little bit, but Gabby and Caleb beat us handily.
“Now a real game,” Gabby declared.
“We should do teams,” I offered.
“You and Alex already are a team.”
“I mean, we play cooperatively two-versus-two. My deck and your deck versus Mark’s deck and Caleb’s deck.”
“Yeah!” Caleb shouted, giving Mark a high five.
“But I wanted to be with Uncle Mark,” Gabby complained.
“Boo hoo hoo,” Alex said, suddenly balling his hands into fists and wiping them over his eyes like he was crying.
“Alex,” I said sharply. “We don’t do that.”
He stopped immediately and looked down.
I shared a look with Mark, but he just seemed amused.
When had Caleb found the time to teach him that? Mark and I were going to have to clean up this behavior when we got home. I wasn’t going to stand for any of this ganging up on the girls. Maybe the kids at daycare taught him this and we just didn’t see it when he was home alone with us?
No. He didn’t treat Charlotte or Evy like this.
“Who would you like to have as a partner, Gabby?” I asked.
Gabby ducked her chin, grinned widely to show us her teeth and pointed at Mark.
“Okay, then it’s me and Caleb versus the two of you.”
“What?” Caleb complained.
“Boo hoo hoo,” Mark said, pretending to wipe his eyes. Gabby joined him.
“Mark... we don’t do that.” I very pointedly nodded my head down at the impressionable child in my lap.
“Oh... uh. Right. Let’s set this thing up. Two v two.”
“Don’t worry, Caleb. We’re going to win.”
He sighed and rolled his eyes.
We started the game—which was kind of like a two person solitaire seeing as the point was to discard quickly and have the least amount of cards at the end.
Mark and Gabby went faster than they should’ve and got stuck with ten cards at the end—most of them from Gabby’s deck. Caleb and I went slightly slower and I would tap the discard piles he should play so we didn’t get stuck.
And we finished both decks and won the game.
“No fun,” Mark complained. “Back to the free-for-all!”
After a few more games like that, we were hungry so we packed up and moved out to the picnic table.
My mom plated food from the grill. “This is earlier than we used to eat. Remember, Chris?”
“All I remember is getting to the campsite in the pitch dark and having to set up with flashlights while fending off mosquitos.”
“Yep,” my dad agreed. “That was as big of a tradition as eating dinner at sunset. I cooked many a steak by flashlight.”
Alex reached for his ear of corn, but had trouble handling it. “Mrs. S said if we ate early then we can go back to the beach!”
“It’s getting pretty late,” Mark said. “Why don’t you let Mrs. S cut that corn for you?”
My mom sliced off his corn so he could eat it with a fork. She then moved on to cutting up his hotdog, which seemed like coddling to me, but nobody else commented on her behavior so I let it slide.
“Eat up,” she commanded.
We finished our delicious meal. I had to go to the bathroom so I took Alex with me. He complained to me about needing to hurry up so we could get ready for the beach. By the time we made it back to the camp, the other kids had already taken off on their bikes.
“Where’s Caleb?” Alex asked sadly.
“They went for a quick bike ride,” Mark answered.
“I want to go,” he said. “I have a bike. I have a bike!”
“How about we relax for a minute,” Mark suggested.
“But I wanna go for a ride. You said we could go after dinner. Please, Mark. Please, please, please?”
Mark usually caved when Alex gave him the full-court press, but this time he stood firm. “Why don’t we sit down for a minute and watch the fire. Chris and I have to finish cleaning.”
Alex sat in the chair for a moment, but then he was on his knees looking at us over the edge and promising he could ride his bike on his own because he knew how to do it.
“Do you?” Mark asked.
I turned my back to them and dried the dishes that my mom washed. She smiled at me like we were sharing a secret.
“How ‘bout we read a book first?”
“I don’t want to read a book,” he protested.
“Not even Harry Potter?”
Alex sighed and I could vividly imagine the expression on his face, which would have been very similar to the one I usually wore when dealing with Mark.
“Chris, will you read Harry Potter with me?”
“Mark can do it with you.”
“Uuhhhh.”
“I’ll get the book,” Mark promised.
“But it’s the book me and Chris read. Mrs. S doesn’t even read me Harry Potter.” He protested further after Mark returned from the camper with the book. “Nooooo... Maaaark.”
Mark flipped to the chapter in the first Harry Potter book that dealt with Diagon Alley where Harry finds Hedwig.
“What’s wrong?” Mark asked. “Don’t you like this part?”
“Yes,” Alex said stubbornly. The kid rubbed his eyes and then crossed his arms. “I want to go for a bike ride.”
“We will later,” Mark promised. “We’re just taking a little break to let our food settle and enjoy the fire. Isn’t the fire nice?”
“Yeah,” Alex finally allowed.
“Is it too hot? Do you want to go in the tent and read in there for a minute?”
Alex thought about it, then agreed. He grabbed Mark’s offered hand and they went into the tent to read for a ‘minute’. Mark returned ten minutes later after successfully laying Alex down for a nap.
“Wow,” he said, collapsing into his chair. “He was cranky.”
“Was he fine with you on the boat?” I asked my mom.
“He was wound up more than usual, but he listened to everything and had a great time. No problems.”
“He got really cranky in the last hour. Did he take a nap with you guys on the beach?”
“No,” Denise said. “He was with Gabby and Caleb playing in the sand.”
“And in the sun,” my mom added. “That takes a lot out of you.”
“I’d say,” Mark added. “I’m exhausted.” He s
tretched.
“I bet you are,” Keegan said slyly.
I blushed something fierce but Mark just grinned happily even though we hadn’t actually snuck off to have sex.
You give people that idea if you fall asleep naked.
“You wanna go find the kids?” Mark asked.
“I’m done biking for the day. Let’s just relax and I’ll do some typing.”
“Whatever,” he said. “I’m going fishing. You up for it, sir?” Mark nodded to my dad, who was always up for fishing, even little bluegills.
“I’ve got a pole for you,” my dad said. “You wanna go out on the boat?”
Mark looked at me and shrugged, painfully. “It’s getting late and I think we’re heading to the beach later.”
“Just meet us up there,” I said. “I’ll take Alex. If Gabby or Caleb come back and want to go, I’ll take them, too.”
Mark kissed me goodbye. I told him to take a shirt, but he just waved me off.
“At least take your sunglasses. It’s not good to stare at the water without them.”
Mark took his sunglasses, sandals and a tee shirt. He winked at me before he jumped in the truck with my dad. Mark had a thicker scruff on his face and his built body seemed leaner than usual... probably because of the mountain biking.
He looked hot. I know I’m asexual, but he’s a good-looking man and sometimes it just strikes me. I almost never think of him like that when he’s got on his lotions and potions and primped every hair so it sits perfect. I like him best when he’s disheveled and somewhat rough-looking (but not too rough). He also has to have that content look. And there’s also such a feeling of trust between us that I usually take for granted, but then sometimes it really blows me away how blessed I am to have him and it makes me glow. And he’s pretty good with kids—especially Alex.
So Mark and my dad were gone for a few hours, Denise and my mom were talking, Keegan was off looking for the kids, and I was happily buried in my fantasy world writing a silly romance story about a ‘hot’ single father who met an eligible woman while taking his son on a camping trip.
I was basically rolling my eyes with every word and every silly turn of the plot, but of all the books I’ve ever written, the ones where I’m rolling my eyes with a silly smile on my face are the ones that have sold the best.
The Foster Dad Page 11