“Really? What about you telling me Thatch molested me while I was in his fear chair? You lied to try to turn me against him.”
“No. I told you the truth to protect you.” His eyes shifted from blue to gray, as steely as Thatch’s.
As usual, this conversation wasn’t getting me anywhere. I couldn’t trust him. I had chosen a different path from one full of Fae deceit. Elric told me what he thought would make me happiest. Thatch had always chosen my safety over my happiness.
I preferred the hard edge of reality over sugar-coated lies.
“I need you to understand, I’ve moved on,” I said. “I’m in a new relationship. I need you to be happy for me. Or at least not try to break us up. Or manipulate Vega into trying to get Thatch fired.” Though if she owed me several boons, that meant I could use at least one to get her to stop threatening to blackmail Thatch. Another I might be able to use to make her stop making my life miserable. The third . . . it would be handy if she could make me a magical condom, but I would take the first two if that was all I could get.
Elric lifted his chin, coming across as haughty as any other Fae prince. “Do you love him as much as you loved Derrick? If you could have Derrick back, whom would you chose, Felix Thatch or Derrick?”
My heart momentarily lurched in my chest. Was he saying he could bring me Derrick? I didn’t believe him. It was another trick. Some of my sympathy for him evaporated.
“That isn’t fair. I don’t want to think about the ghost of boyfriend past.” I pointed a finger at him. “You focus on your love life. Let me focus on my mine.”
He drew himself up, studying Vega from afar. His voice was raw and rough. “I don’t have a love life, Clarissa. I have a business arrangement. That’s all it is.”
“Is that what you want? Or do you think you could fall in love with Vega if you let go of me?”
He sucked in a shuddering breath. “I’m not going to fall in love with one more woman who doesn’t love me.” Tears filled his eyes.
I tried to draw my energy farther away from him before his misery contaminated me.
Vega stirred in the other bed. She moaned and touched a hand to her temple. “Elric?” she murmured.
I gave Elric a little shove in her direction.
“I’m here,” he said.
He strolled over to her bed and sat down, his face solemn and serious. He attempted to blink away the tears, but his nose was pink. Vega stretched, her slender body graceful and catlike. She curled her legs up against his back and legs and draped an arm across his lap.
The satisfied smile lacing her lips faltered when she looked up at him. “Whatever is the matter?”
“Nothing is the matter.” He cleared his throat. “You’re the one who was brought back from the dead. Tell me, how was the afterlife? Was it everything you dreamed of and more?” He plastered a smile on his face. “Did you say hello to Dox for me?”
“No, I don’t remember anything.” She brushed her fingers across his jaw, soaking up the sight of him.
It was obvious to anyone who might be watching—namely me—how much she adored him. Perhaps the realization struck Elric then as well.
“You’re smiling, but your eyes look sad,” she said softly.
I’d never given Vega credit for having the ability to use empathy. Then again, she never ceased to surprise me with the wide range of skills she kept hidden in her arsenal for the appropriate moment to use in attack.
“No, it’s your imagination. I’m quite happy.” He lifted her hand and brought it to his lips. “It’s a miracle you’re alive.”
A smile blossomed across her face, erasing the harsh angles of her cheeks and transforming her mouth into an expression of pure joy. “You were sad when you thought I was dead, weren’t you?”
“Who wouldn’t be sad when the greatest gift to the dance floor might not be alive to grace speakeasies with her class and style anymore?” He bent down and touched his nose to hers in that embarrassingly lovey-dovey way he used to do with me.
“Tell me, who were you more afraid for? Me?” Her gaze flickered to me, some of the joy in her dark green eyes sharpening to deadly daggers. “Or Clarissa?”
Elric’s brow lifted, caught off guard by the question.
“You,” I volunteered. “He wouldn’t stop talking about you while you were asleep. He was like Romeo pining for Juliet.”
Maybe this white lie would come back and bite me later. Or it might create an unhealthy attachment in Vega, and she would fixate on a man who didn’t love her.
Vega giggled like a school girl. “You can be such a hopeless romantic.”
“I don’t know about that. I tend to be a hopeful romantic.” He kissed her cheek.
She circled her arms around his neck and covered his face with kisses. She might have told him they were fuck buddies, but her eyes said something else entirely.
“I have an idea,” she whispered. “How about we pretend I’m dead again, and you need to revive me.”
“With a kiss?” His gaze slid over to me.
She batted her eyelashes. “Definitely with more than a kiss.”
“Hello. I am right here,” I said. “I am trying to recuperate, not subscribe to the Vega and Elric porno channel.”
“Considering you weren’t the one dead, I’m sure you’ve recuperated quite well and can be on your way,” Vega said. “Goodbye, Clarissa,”
Elric flashed an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”
I slid out of the bed. I didn’t completely mind the idea of leaving them alone if it brought both of them greater happiness. Only, I did mind that they were in my bed.
“Hey, can you pretend to be the corpse bride in your own bed?” I asked.
Neither answered. Elric kissed Vega, his hand cupping her face. She moaned into his mouth. It felt majorly weird and wrong to see this.
I wobbled toward the door. It was a struggle to stay upright with the way my head floated above me. Something was off with my equilibrium. Either that or I hadn’t brought my awareness completely inside myself. I held on to the wall for support, trying to ignore the sound of kissing behind me.
I stepped into a pair of my shoes, not bothering to buckle the straps.
I leaned against the wall as I walked. I didn’t feel right. I visualized sinking into my own skin, to ground myself in my affinity, but nothing changed. I passed the closed doors of other staff members. If Elric was here, it must have still been Saturday, probably around dinner time, which made sense why no one was around and upstairs. The teachers who weren’t eating downstairs would be off campus, probably relaxing, and dining somewhere else.
I wasn’t sure where to go, but food sounded good. The stairs looked ominous. Vertigo washed over me. I scooted on my butt, taking one step at a time. It took forever to make it to the central corridor. The rowdy conversation of students in the great hall trickled out into the hallway. Everywhere I looked I felt like I was seeing double. I could see in front of me and behind me at the same time.
My knees wobbled as I stood. It was easier to walk if I kept my eyes closed. I hadn’t realized how the light hurt my head until it lessened. My vision sharpened, and the path before me became less confusing.
The voices of students laughing and shouting increased as I approached one of the open doorways. Smells of fresh bread and savory stew tickled my nose. My stomach lurched.
A normal, mundane person would have opened her eyes. Not me. I had magic. I used my awareness to guide me to my salvation of food. Obviously I was still perfecting the skill. I didn’t see the suit of armor posed in the nook along the wall. Seriously, I would have sworn he’d stuck his foot out to trip me.
I fell down, groaning.
“Miss Lawrence?”
I rolled over and blinked to find Trevor staring down at me. “What are you doing on the floor?”
“Relaxing,” I said.
“Is it true Miss Bloodmire resurrected you from the dead u
sing necromancy today?” he asked.
“No.” I pushed myself up. The dizziness was worse than before. “What are you doing out here instead of enjoying your favorite period of the day?”
“I just got out of detention with Mr. Khaba. He let me go early. I think he felt bad because I accidentally chewed up all my pencils. I hope there’s something good still left in the cafeteria.”
“Any chance you can help me up?” I held out my hand.
Trevor wasn’t very strong, and I wasn’t at my best to help him. When tugging on my hand didn’t work, he circled his arms around my waist. The moment I was up and standing, I dropped to my knees again.
“I think I need some help from an adult,” I said.
“The school nurse?”
“Anyone but Nurse Hilda, please.”
“Sure. I’ll get someone.” Trevor looked to the cafeteria with longing. “You don’t mind if I just get a bite to eat first. I’m starving.”
I sighed. So much for inspiring loyalty in my students by giving them the carrot. “You do whatever you need to do. I’ll just take a time-out here.” I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes again.
My awareness flitted down the hall and into the cafeteria, experiencing a thousand sensations at once. That was too much, and I yanked my awareness back, shooting upstairs to the women’s dorms. I fought to gain control. I drifted upstairs and accidentally got an eyeful of Vega and Elric—still on my bed. I recoiled and shot across the school.
A moment later, Imani crouched beside me. The warmth of her hand grounded me back into myself.
“Oh, hi, sweetie,” I said. Somehow I was seeing her from the front and the side at the same time.
Greenie stood beside her. More students poured out into the hallway.
“Is it true what happened? You were bitten by a spider?” Greenie asked. “I don’t see any bite marks.”
“Not today.” My split vision made it difficult to focus on their words.
“It was a necromancer. She was bitten by a necromancer. I heard Ms. Frost and Grandmother Bluehorse talking about it,” someone said.
My stomach churned. “I think I’m going to puke.”
Everyone stepped back. I closed my eyes. Everything was better when I was only seeing through my spirit. The dizziness and sick sensation in my belly went away. I was able to focus on the sensations inside other people’s bodies: the blister on Luke Heller’s big toe from a pair of shoes that didn’t fit him, some freshman I didn’t know with a stomachache, the utter joy in Greenie’s heart that could only be because some boy she had a crush on liked her back—pushed aside but still glimmering through her concern for me. The steady rhythm of Imani’s heart remained close by.
I hopped from body to body, not intending to invade anyone’s personal space, but unable to anchor myself to my own body.
Down the hall, a gray figure emerged from the shadows of the stairwell to the dungeon. Thatch glided toward me, his expression grim. His heart thrummed with anxiety. Trevor trailed after him, a drumstick in each hand. Somehow the kid was able to tear off a bite and run at the same time.
Thatch’s midnight locks bounced behind him with each long stride. He headed straight toward the circle of students. The number had grown to ten. A girl stuck her head out of the cafeteria, took one look at me, and shrieked before dodging back inside.
Another student darted out of the open doors. “She’s dead! Oh my God! It’s true!” The student ran inside.
“What is going on here?” Thatch’s voice came out sharp and ominous. Anger hid the core of fear in him. I tried to speak, but it was too hard.
Students turned toward him. Balthasar Llewelyn and Ben O’Sullivan, of all kids, stepped into Thatch’s path.
“Don’t hurt Miss Lawrence,” Balthasar said.
Ben O’Sullivan shoved Trevor, making the younger boy drop one of his drumsticks. “You were supposed to get the nurse.”
Trevor looked to me. “She didn’t want the nurse.”
Hailey grabbed Balthasar’s arm and tugged him to the side so Thatch could get through. “Dude, get a grip. Mr. Thatch isn’t going to do anything bad.”
Maddy handed Trevor his drumstick from the floor. He didn’t even wipe it off. He kept eating it as he stared at me, eyes wide.
Thatch crouched beside me, placing a hand on my knee. “Miss Lawrence, are you unwell?”
I gasped at the suddenness of his touch. It grounded me back into myself. I opened my eyes, the world whirling as I took in multiple angles of him. “I think I’m having some problems with my magic.”
“It’s probably from that spell Miss Bloodmire cursed her with. I heard one of the teachers died earlier today and had to be revived with—” The student lowered his voice to a hush. “—necromancy.”
“It was CPR,” I said.
Thatch coughed. “Why did no one come to me and tell me about this . . . incident earlier?”
I closed my eyes so I could focus on my words. “Probably because you intimidate people and no one wants to experience your wrath.”
“I meant you. Why didn’t you inform me?” He slid an arm around my shoulder.
I leaned into the sanctuary of his chest. “I just woke up, and I wasn’t feeling well. It was the astral magic you taught me, but I can’t get back into my body.”
“What should we do?” Imani asked.
“Miss Lawrence needs some space. Go into the cafeteria, close the doors, and tell the students inside no one is allowed to leave for the next ten minutes. If they should try, they will spend the next week of their life in detention.”
Students ran off, executing his orders immediately. Doors slammed. I watched from above as the group of students ran around, shaking other students and getting them to help with the doors. Imani ran to Josie. She sat alone, looking sad at the teacher table where she was probably waiting for me. Whatever Imani said to Josie made my friend leap to her feet.
A student closed the door, concealing her from my sight.
“Oh no!” I said, but my voice didn’t come out right. “I had dinner duty tonight. Josie traded shifts with Vega so we could do it together.” I had forgotten all about that. As I watched myself speak to Thatch I realized my lips didn’t move. Maybe he couldn’t hear me.
“Come back to me,” Thatch murmured in my ear. “Return to your body.”
He cradled me in his lap. I didn’t remember him setting me in his lap, but I supposed I had been outside my body anyway. I’d cared more about what was going on in the cafeteria than out here.
The doors burst open with a loud crack, the reverberation startling me enough I momentarily sank back into my skin.
Josie stood in the nearest doorway. “Clarissa, what happened? Are you all right?” She directed her stink eye at Thatch. “What did you do to her?”
“I am attempting to revive Miss Lawrence.”
Josie rushed forward, taking my hand in hers, trying to shove Thatch away in the process, a difficult feat considering I still sat on his lap.
My voice wavered. “Stop, Josie. He really is trying to help.”
“Yeah, right.”
The shouts of students came from inside the cafeteria. Curious heads poked out of the open door.
Telling Josie the truth about this wasn’t going to help. She would only have grown more frightened if she knew about my forbidden magic or Thatch’s. My relationship with Thatch would only infuriate her more.
“Listen to me. Trust me on this.” I tried to say more, but my voice cut out. I realized I was outside my body again, watching Josie kneel beside me from behind.
“Miss Kimura, please secure the doors. I can’t work healing magic with interruptions.” Thatch’s eyes were so desperate, she must have seen something raw and genuine within him that made her back away.
Maybe the “please” helped.
“Keep the students inside the cafeteria,” Thatch said.
Josie disappeared in
side, her brow crinkling up in concern.
“I need you to focus on your affinity. That’s where you need to go.” He placed a hand against my belly.
I pushed against my skin, but the fortress of my flesh locked me out. I tried anchoring myself in my head and then my feet. It wasn’t working. The effort took so much of my strength, I couldn’t even rise to the occasion of complaining about it.
“Try harder,” Thatch said.
I drifted back, sinking into his skin again. It was so easy to become one with him. So much more interesting. When I gazed at the gaping wound in his soul, it was raw and bleeding like a piece of flesh had been torn away. I had fixed Vega’s heart. Maybe I could heal his.
I’d also killed Vega in the process. I hadn’t known what I was doing. I did this time. They always said in first aid not to remove something impaling someone because you wouldn’t be able to stop the bleeding. I’d acted too quickly, too impulsively. All I’d cared about was healing her hurt. The absence of her ghost had been a shock to her system.
If I mended Thatch’s soul slowly, it wouldn’t kill him. It would make him stronger.
“Clarissa, stay with me.” He pinched my arm.
For a moment I was inside myself, but I didn’t like pain. My heart lurched arrhythmically. Breathing was too much effort. I retracted again and sank into him.
I wanted to tell him I was with him. I was right there inside him. His soul was like that watercolor I’d done of him, all red and dripping into shadows. He would feel so much better if I cleaned up all that darkness.
Thatch slapped my face. The sudden sharpness in my nerves made me gasp. I opened my eyes, but only for a second.
“Use the lessons I taught you. Focus on your body and the sensations of your body.” He pinched my arm and then my leg. “Let the physical ground you.”
That wasn’t the lesson he’d taught me. He’d shown me how to ignore the sensations of my body. He’d taught me to transform a scorching inferno of pain into numbing coolness. Or block it altogether.
“You cannot die. Just when I finally figured out how to not annoy you, you are not allowed to leave.” He rocked me against his chest. “Come back into your body this instant.”
Of Curse You Will Page 20