“Let me in,” I hear a voice at the front door.
There are two officers blocking the entrance to my living room. I don’t have to see past them to know the husky voice yelling obscenities belongs to Des. They try to reason with her, an impossible feat.
“Let her in. Please,” I tell one of the officers.
He steps to the side. Des lumbers into the room, her arms outstretched. She kneels on the floor in front of me.
Des’ face is pale. She has always had a weak stomach, and last I looked, there was a nasty bump on the side of my head. “My goodness. Are you okay? You look like you’ve been in a car accident.”
“It feels like I’ve been in one.”
“Ava. Is she okay?”
Ava. I just want to hold her. My mind flashes back to the beach, the overwhelming terror I felt watching Amelia wrestle to keep Ava in her arms.
There’s another disruption at the front door. The officer steps aside. Evan is standing there, holding Ava in his arms. I stand, charging toward them. I take her from him. Her face is perfect, undisturbed. She’s safe. She’s here. I smile through the tears, holding her close to me.
“Everything’s okay now,” I say.
Evan nods. There is nothing else to say, at least not in this minute. This minute is for appreciating Ava, giving thanks that she’s back. I’ve never been so close to losing her, and my body will forever remember this feeling, ready to react again if forced.
Des pats Evan’s back. She walks over to the sofa and takes a seat, relieved. I know she wants to love on Ava, and she’ll get her chance, but she must be happy to know we’re both out of harm’s way.
I close my eyes, swaying Ava from side to side, whispering prayers.
When I open my eyes again, Evan is watching us, smiling. His presence tonight was crucial. He didn’t come to my rescue, but he came to Ava’s. If that’s not enough to make me fall back in love with him, I’m not sure what is.
51 Marion
Now
There’s a certain type of electricity inside threatening to burst. And yet, I can’t quite label it. Is it excitement? Dread? I suppose the combination of those two emotions would be anxiety. I don’t want to set my hopes too high, knowing there’s a strong likelihood they could all come crashing down.
It’s Mom’s day in court.
Carmen is negotiating a plea deal for the remaining charges against Mom. After Amelia confessed to Bruce’s murder, the most serious charge was dropped. Carmen is hoping to prove that the other crimes Mom committed were done so under extreme duress.
Jamie ended up coming forward, sharing her account of what happened back at Phillips Academy all those years ago. She identified Bruce Parker as the teacher who attacked her, as the teacher who was rumored to have assaulted other students on the campus.
Except now it’s not merely rumor. Once word got out that a deceased Phillips Academy teacher had committed assault, other former students came forward. Back then, they were young girls. Naïve. Ashamed. Afraid. Now, they are women, and at least three of them have agreed to open up about what happened to them, considering how much is at stake.
The press jumped all over it, of course, knowing that the slain father of Baby Caroline was accused of something so terrible. The Baby Caroline saga has a new spotlight; it’s hard to catch a morning news show that doesn’t touch on it. I can’t blame them, really. There are many new developments that have obliterated the narrative spun for the past thirty years.
There is also a storm of questions surrounding Amelia. After she was arrested on the beach, police and press began piecing together her true involvement with the crimes Mom had been accused of committing. Adoption documentation was never found because Amelia never submitted it. She had a legitimate birth certificate for Caroline Parker. When police tried to track down the doctor listed as delivering the baby, they learned he had died over ten years ago. As he was the Parker family’s personal physician, there is no telling how forthcoming his testimony would have been. I’m sure there have been more than a few people paid off over the years. We’ll probably never know the full story, but it feels like we have enough to understand who was really at fault for this tragedy, and it wasn’t Mom.
We’re hoping a judge will agree. Carmen’s presenting her case today, hoping the court will accept her proposed plea deal. Although I’m the first to admit that Mom walking away without some form of punishment is unlikely.
I’m supposed to be at the courthouse within the hour. I arrive at Carmen’s house and knock on the door. As expected, Michael answers. He’s wearing a robe over a T-shirt and sweats.
“You should already be downtown. Carmen left over an hour ago.” He sips the coffee in his hands. “How are you feeling?”
“Scared.”
“It’s almost over, okay? This is the homestretch.”
“Unless the judge denies the deal.”
“Don’t think that way,” he says. “Stay positive. I know nothing is going to make you feel better right now, but she’s been rehearsing what she’s going to say all week. I’ve never seen her more prepared.”
“That’s good to know,” I say, looking across the street at my car, then back to him. “Hey, she told me you’re about to launch your own real estate agency. How’s it going?”
“I’m feeling surprisingly good about it. It’ll take a little pressure off Carmen to have me working again.”
“It doesn’t feel like much time has passed since you left your old job. Now you’re getting ready to start a new one. Lucky.”
“Yeah. I guess it feels longer to me.” He looks back at the open door. We can hear the children’s voices from where we stand. “I should check on them. Good luck today.”
He turns to go back inside, but I follow him. “You know, Carmen has been great about keeping me in the loop. She’s shared almost every detail of the case. Everything she’s uncovered about Mom’s and Amelia’s pasts. Carmen is thorough. Not much gets by her.”
He turns to face me again. “That’s the truth.”
My hands in my pockets, I take another step forward.
“There is one thing she missed, though. It’s small. Won’t help or hurt Mom’s outcome, really. But it’s something I noticed.”
“Oh yeah?”
“After Amelia was arrested at my house, the police did a complete search of her hotel room. They uncovered all the research she did over the years. All the information she’d tracked down after she finally figured out where Mom was hiding.”
“You think she knew you were in North Bay this whole time?”
“Not this whole time. She said she found out where we were after Mom was arrested. Turns out, that wasn’t true. She knew where we were first. She’s the one who told the police. And it’s because someone tipped her off.”
“Wild.”
He looks back at the open door. The children’s voices have quieted. They’ve probably followed each other upstairs. I know he wants to check, but I’ve not finished with our conversation.
“She had all sorts of random stuff. More recently, she had the names of local journalists. Looks like she was the one leaking those stories about me and Ava to the press. She’d kept a careful record of all her contacts. When we were sorting through the evidence photos, I found this.” I slide my hand out of my pocket, revealing a photo of Amelia’s papers in the hotel room. “Why did Amelia Parker have one of your old business cards?”
Michael cocks his head to the side, a quick movement. He squints. “My business card?”
“Yeah. You did a lot of work in New Hutton before you left your job, right? Did the two of you ever cross paths?”
“I think I would remember her if I did.” He wraps his palm around the back of his neck. “I mean, it’s possible, but I don’t think—”
“I could never figure out how she finally found us. She always offered a reward, but what were the chances of someone stumbling upon Mom after all these years? It would have to be someone who really kne
w her. Knew her well enough to think that she might be Sarah Paxton.”
“Sure. I just—”
“And those articles. The one about how I became pregnant with Ava. There’s no way Amelia could have had that information. Even if she hired someone to look into me, only the people in my life would have known some of those details.”
Michael’s expression freezes as he slowly exhales. “Marion, what are you saying?”
“It’s convenient you have enough money to start a new business. I mean, you left your job, what, a month before Amelia showed up? What are the chances?”
He opens his mouth but freezes. He doesn’t know what to say.
“I can’t help wondering if you didn’t run into Amelia at your old job. At least hear about her, know her story. Maybe you looked into it one day, when you were bored in your high-rise office, daydreaming about quitting and starting your own business. You might have noticed the large reward she was offering for any information.”
Michael pinches the bridge of his nose, slides his fingers down to cover his mouth. “I thought it was a long shot. Online, I found a picture of this Sarah Paxton lady. I mean, Eileen looked a little like her, sure. But I had no way of really knowing. Carmen told me how complicated your past was. Eileen’s past, really. I thought, maybe it might fit.”
“So, you’re the one who told Amelia about us?”
“I didn’t know everything would play out like this. I thought I was being paranoid, really.”
“But you still told her you believed Mom was Sarah Paxton.”
“Trust me, if I knew everything that would happen, I never would have said anything. I was under the impression Eileen had committed an awful crime. I thought Amelia was suffering, still searching for answers.”
“How fortunate that providing those answers gave you enough money to start your new business.” I shake my head. “And what about everything else? The press leaks. Did you give her that information too?”
“She wanted to know more about you. I thought she was your biological mother. How was I supposed to know she was out to hurt you?”
“She kept paying you, didn’t she?”
“Yes.” His words are filled with shame. “Marion, I didn’t know Amelia’s motives in all this. If I did—”
“Does Carmen know?”
“No. Definitely not. She never would have allowed me to do it.”
I believe him. As shocked as I was to find that card, to toy with the idea Michael might have turned Mom in, I could never think Carmen was involved. Especially after watching how hard she worked on Mom’s case. She’ll be even more devastated about Michael’s involvement than I am.
“Carmen is my best friend,” I say, my words filled with enough anger for the both of us. “I thought we were friends, too.”
“We are!” he shouts, turning for another look at the door. “This whole thing just fell in my lap. It seemed like an easy way out at the time. You have to believe me. I’m sorry for all the pain it caused you and Eileen.”
“I need Carmen’s head in the right place. We’re going to get through today, then I’m telling her.”
“No, Marion. You can’t.” He’s off the porch now, chasing me as I walk to my car.
“Goodbye, Michael.”
After today, I know one thing for sure: no more secrets.
52 Amelia
Now
The lock clanged against the bars when the officer left Amelia in her cell. She had been there for months, but it still hadn’t sunk in that this was forever. That she would stay here, in this cold, hard place, accompanied only by her thoughts.
At least she had her memories, most of them grander than the average person would ever experience. She would close her eyes, could almost feel the desert heat on her face. Could almost hear waves crashing on the other side of the wall. She could almost feel Bruce’s hand on her leg, back when they first started dating. They had been happier in those days, a far cry from where they ended up.
But it wasn’t always the happy memories that Amelia would conjure. Sometimes the painful memories, the ones that brought her to this place, crept in. Like the spiders in the corners of her cell, she’d stomp them out, but they had a way of returning.
She hadn’t meant to hit Cliff with her car. Not really. That certainly wasn’t her intention when she spied on Sarah that day, as she had so many times before. It had become a weekend routine of sorts. Watching this pitiful girl made her feel better about her own life. She followed Sarah and Cliff to a nicer part of town, watched as they went inside the apartment complex. For hours, Amelia stayed in her car, listening to music, waiting to see them again.
At long last, they appeared on the sidewalk. Despite their cheap clothes and blemished skin, they appeared happy. That was the first time Sarah looked like she was actually pregnant. Another passerby would no longer look at her and think it was just bloat. No, this girl was having a baby. That goofy boy at her side was having a baby. And Amelia, with her large car and expensive jewelry and custom clothes, had nothing.
Amelia pulled her car into the street so fast, she wasn’t sure what she’d done. She was speeding, racing against her own thoughts, fighting to get away from her jealous desires. Her envy ceased when she heard the thud of Cliff’s body hitting her car, followed by the squealing of tires, the screaming of civilians on the sidewalk.
She drove home in a panic, not sure what her next step would be. There will be police and media, she thought. Someone would come and arrest her.
No one ever did.
After a few days, the lack of interference confirmed what she always thought: certain people didn’t matter. No one would ever take her from the luxury of her life to punish her for ruining the nothingness of someone else’s.
She was free.
It was an odd moment to reminisce about now, detached from the world she had known. Separated from the people she once knew. Isolated from the many others who never knew the real Amelia Boone Parker.
She thinks back to the woman she used to be. The woman who spotted Sarah that day in the center. Their roles seemed so defined then. Which person was meant to be a mother, which one was meant to make a mess of her life. It seemed all Amelia had done since that day was take from those around her, mastermind ruin and corruption, even if it didn’t feel that way at the time. To Amelia, her actions had felt right, justified.
How ironic that Sarah ended up besting her after all. More than that, she succeeded in being the mother Amelia herself never deserved to be.
Epilogue
Ava turns two years old today.
I spread a plastic tablecloth over the picnic table, watching as the wind lifts and furls it. I fasten down the corners with decorative weights and start unpacking two-liter bottles and plastic cups.
This year’s party isn’t as extravagant. We moved it outside, enjoying the warm weather on the beach underneath a community pavilion. I only invited those who play an important role in our lives, which I realize now is still a good amount of people. One by one, they arrive. First, Des, clutching two gift bags in one hand and balancing pizza boxes with the other.
“Let me help you,” I say, taking the pizza.
“Beautiful day today,” she says, standing with her shoulders back, taking a deep inhale of salty air.
“Cake, Mamma. Cake.” Ava stands by me, tugging on my shirt.
“Just a minute, honey,” I tell her, resting my hand on the top of her head.
It’s amazing how much Ava has changed since last year. She no longer looks like a baby, although I guess in my mind she’ll always be one. She’s grown taller, her shoulders and hips filling out. She is turning into a child. My child. She’s talking more and more, the two of us beginning to have brief conversations. Each milestone makes me more thankful for the time we have together.
Next, Carmen arrives, with Preston and Penny leading the way down the ramp. Each is holding their own gift-wrapped box, and Carmen has a designer purse hanging from the crook of
her arm.
“Sorry we’re late,” she says, kissing my cheek.
“No worries. It’s just us. We’re still waiting on a few others to arrive.”
“Evan says he’s stuck in traffic, but he’ll arrive before we start opening the presents.”
When Evan first moved back to North Bay, his plan had been to start his own firm. After Carmen kicked Michael to the curb, she decided she needed a different type of partner: a business one. She invited Evan to join her practice; the two have been working together for the past six months.
Evan has been around a lot more lately. We haven’t fully labeled what we are, but I believe the feelings we had for each other never went away. The way he and Ava look at each other, it’s like love has always been there between them, too. I can finally admit I can’t imagine a future without him.
The kids are already tearing into the pizza. Ava throws her crust on the sand. Minutes later, a bird flies by and swoops it up. The children giggle.
“Cake. Cake,” she says again, looking down the ramp.
I turn, looking in the direction to which Ava is pointing. Mom is walking toward us, carrying a small white box.
“I told you it would be just a minute,” I say.
Mom sits beside us, letting Ava crawl into her lap. She squeezes her between her arms, craning her neck to kiss her cheek. “Happy birthday, my precious girl,” she whispers.
Carmen’s plea deal worked. After uncovering the allegations against Bruce and the manipulation by Amelia, the most serious charges were dropped. Because of the cancer, Mom was granted a compassionate release for the remaining charges. As long as she meets the terms of her probation and stays out of trouble, which I don’t foresee being a problem, she won’t spend time in jail.
Not My Mother Page 24