As if he knew I was thinking about him, my phone chimed while I ate breakfast.
I’m coming by to take you to work this morning. Just like Luca—no question about when I needed to be at work or what plans I had. He simply informed me he was taking me and expected my compliance.
I appreciate the offer, but there’s no reason for you to come all the way over when I have a driver to take me. I wasn’t crazy about relying on anyone, and I certainly didn’t want him to see me as a chore.
You can argue all you like, but I’ll be there in twenty.
I must not have felt too strongly about the matter because his words made me smile. The man was ridiculously overbearing, and damn if I didn’t love it.
Of course, it had only been a week. Would I still feel the same way after a month, a year, or ten? Would his domineering tendencies mellow, or would they grow into a problem? I didn’t necessarily mind a man who threw his weight around. Who was I kidding? It could be unbelievably sexy when done right, but there was a fine line between sexy and a dictatorial asshole. I had no desire to be kept under the thumb of an egotistical man.
Jackson’s warning whispered in the back of my mind, along with my father’s words about dating someone I didn’t know. Luca seemed like a decent guy, but that didn’t mean I truly knew him.
The chime on my phone drew me from my thoughts. Luca was downstairs waiting. I gathered my things and made my way down and out to the street. Luca’s sports car was blocking traffic, a number of impatient motorists stuck behind him. I ducked my head in embarrassment and hurried to his car as fast as my pencil skirt would allow.
“I suppose you’re aware you’re blocking traffic,” I murmured as I buckled my seatbelt.
“Waiting a few minutes isn’t going to kill those people.”
“I doubt that would be your opinion if you were the one stuck behind someone.”
“You’ll learn quickly, Alessia, that I only care about myself … and what’s mine.” He turned his head and captured my gaze as he said the last words.
Did he consider me his? Tiny butterflies came to life and danced around in my stomach at the possibility of being Luca’s girl. Is that what he meant, or was I jumping to conclusions? I certainly wasn’t going to ask for clarification. If that wasn’t what he meant, I’d look pathetic asking.
“Thanks for the ride,” I said instead, choosing to sidestep his remark.
His lips twitched upward at the corners as he checked the rearview. “The other thing you’ll learn about me is I’m a selfish man. The way I see it, giving you a ride is purely self-serving—it means I get to lay eyes on those sexy fucking legs. The only way starting my day would be better is if I was naked between them.”
My heart stuttered in my chest. His comment had been the most presumptive, lewd thing any man had ever said to me, and I loved every word. I pressed my thighs together, attempting to soothe the ache in my core that his words had provoked.
“When I offer to do something for you,” he continued, “rest assured, I’m not being put out. I’m doing it because I want to—you may not be clear on my motivations, but that doesn’t mean I’m not getting something from my actions. Got it?”
“Yes,” I breathed in the suddenly sauna-like heat of the car.
I thanked my lucky stars when the phone began to ring through the car stereo system. I’d needed a moment to recover. His words had stirred up a whirlwind of emotions inside me, and I had no idea how to organize the chaos and decipher how I felt.
Before Luca answered, he switched the call from the overhead speakers to his phone for privacy. “This isn’t a good time,” he said brusquely, then paused as the caller spoke. “My gut tells me it’s him, but I need more time to be certain … Well, tell them to calm the fuck down—nothing’s going to change in the matter of a week … That’s what I thought.”
The caller hung up, and Luca tossed his phone back into a dashboard compartment. Tension filled the car until I could feel the oppressive weight of it pressing against my chest. I wasn’t supposed to hear his conversation, that had been clear. Not only had I heard Luca’s end, a snippet from the caller rang clear in my ears.
Venturi is demanding blood for blood.
“Sorry about that—more work shit,” he bit out, still radiating anger from his conversation.
“No problem.” Fuck, yes, it was a problem. Blood for blood? What the hell had that meant? In what other dimension did banking involve conversations where ‘blood for blood’ would be applicable? Was that code for something? There was no way I was going to ask for more information, not while he was angry, and certainly not while I was captive in his car.
Both the subject matter and his emotional response created a deep-seated unease inside me. I had told myself I wouldn’t walk away just because I was scared he would hurt me, but the words I’d overheard changed everything. There had been no humor in the man’s voice and certainly none in Luca’s response. Both men had been dead serious about the subject matter, and in my gut, I knew I should have the same reaction.
Thank God, my mother had instilled in me the crucial ability to maintain appearances. On the outside, I carried on as if nothing had happened, asking about his plans for the day and thanking him for the ride.
On the inside, I was coming apart.
As much as I wanted to ignore the faint smell of smoke and the warnings I’d received, the conversation had been a red flag I couldn’t disregard. Where there was smoke, there was fire. I had said I needed something more concrete—how much more concrete were angry phone calls talking about blood?
Something about Luca made me wary, and now, I had a sound reason for that fear. He was captivating and alluring in ways no other man had been, but there was something more sinister lurking beneath that tempting façade—how sinister, I had no idea. It could merely be a bad temper, or he could be a psychopath. The problem was, I’d never know until it was too late.
Luca told me he’d give me a ride home after work. I didn’t argue. He pressed a kiss to my lips, and I offered a warm smile in return before hurrying to my office, where I fended off a panic attack. I needed an exit strategy. How did you walk away from a man like Luca who didn’t take no for an answer?
My concern wasn’t that he was going to attack me physically—quite the opposite. He’d lure me back in. Using the magnetic charisma he possessed, he’d whisk away my concerns until they were a distant memory. Luca was the most tantalizing dessert I’d ever seen. No matter that I’d been on a diet for weeks and didn’t want to ruin my good health, the moment I got a whiff of the rich, creamy decadence, every ounce of my resolve would disappear until I couldn’t remember a single reason why I should say no. The only chance I had of not giving in was to avoid him completely. I couldn’t eat the dessert if I was never near it.
A finite plan would be necessary, but for now, I decided on simply escaping him for the day. I would figure out a more thorough solution once I was home. As the end of the workday rolled around, I texted Luca, explaining I had an unexpected late meeting and would have my driver take me home.
Just text me when you’re done, I’ll pick you up.
Fuck. I knew that would be his response. I’m headed into the meeting and already have my driver lined up. I’ll text you later.
I turned off my phone and gathered my things, not wanting to risk a surprise visit from Luca. I texted Leo to pick me up around the corner and used the service elevator to exit out the back of the building. The entire walk to the car, I fought the overwhelming urge to look over my shoulder.
“Is everything alright, ma’am?” asked Leo as I slid into the black Cadillac.
“Yes, I was just behind on my walking today—needed to get those steps in,” I replied airily, relieved I’d prepared an explanation for my change in pickup instructions.
Leo eyed me with a hint of suspicion. He was close to me in age and attractive if you liked that meathead sort of look. I didn’t know what he did in his spare time to bulk up, bu
t he obviously spent ample hours in the gym. His muscles had muscles.
I raised my brows somewhat haughtily, reminding him he was paid to drive me, not act as my chaperone. He huffed out a laugh and pulled the car away from the curb.
Not until I safely entered my apartment did I breathe a deep sigh of relief. Tension had crept into my shoulders, which now ached from being clenched tight all day. I set aside my purse and work satchel, then bee-lined for my bathroom, where I filled the oversized tub. The warm water was a balm on my sore muscles and even soothed my racing thoughts.
As the anxiety melted off me into the steaming water, I was left with a resounding sense of sadness. I had wanted things to work out with Luca more than I’d realized. Walking away from him meant facing the loss of the fantasy I’d envisioned in my head.
I had never gone out with a man who made me feel as special or beautiful as Luca did, nor had I dated a man who enchanted my senses the way he could. Whether it was his musky scent, the sight of his chiseled features, his masterful touch, or the reeling emotions brought on by his words, Luca was a masterful magician, using his tricks to bewitch me in every way.
In a short time, I’d grown attached to the way he made me feel, and losing that was going to be agonizing. Just as painful, I would have to put on my big-girl panties and tell him I didn’t want to see him any longer. It would be a difficult conversation, but I was capable of doing hard things, or so I told myself. It would take a bit of time to scrounge up the courage, but I could do it.
Tomorrow.
After I’d had a chance to wallow in bed and spend the night eating ice cream.
After the bath, I put on my favorite pair of pajamas—an oversized shirt from an old boyfriend and a worn pair of blue-plaid flannel bottoms from college. The outfit was atrocious, but a blanket of comfort wrapped around me simply wearing it. I’d just sat on the couch with a pint of cookies and cream when a knock on my door resounded through my quiet living room.
My muscles locked down in mid-motion. It couldn’t be Luca, I reminded myself. I hadn’t received a call from the security desk telling me I had a visitor. It was either Giada, popping over unannounced, or more likely, the older lady two doors down who frequently went in search of her missing newspaper. I jumped into motion but stilled when the pounding knock sounded again.
That was no gentle wrap from old Mrs. Cohen.
I tiptoed toward the door and tried to take a quick look through the peephole. There was no mistaking who stood outside my door. Clad in a navy suit and leaning against the opposite wall, Luca had come for me. I debated not answering. Whether he knew I was home or not, I could hide in my apartment. And how long would that last? Luca wasn’t the type to give up. I would have to face him at some point—better to get it over with now.
I could do this.
I could remain strong, explain my position like a mature adult, and he would abide by my wishes.
Right.
“Alessia, I know you’re there. Open the door.” His forceful voice resonated through the thick wood and kicked my heartrate up to a frenzied pace.
I turned the deadbolt and opened the door, attempting to look unfazed. “Luca … how did you know what apartment I was in?” How did you get past the security desk? How did you know I was home?
He eased forward, forcing me to retreat into the apartment and allow him entry. “The mailboxes in the lobby are numbered with last names—not particularly safe.” His words were spoken calmly, almost in a resigned tone. He helped himself inside, peering around my home.
Great. I had a potential psycho giving me security advice after breaking into my building.
It was strange having him in my space, my sanctuary. I rarely invited people over—that was one of the awesome things about living in a big city—there were plenty of places to meet people outside of the home. His dark suit was a stark contrast to everything light and airy in my apartment. In a way, it was nice. The muted tones were that much softer next to his sharp outline.
“You have a lovely apartment,” he finally said as he turned back to face me.
“Thanks,” I replied awkwardly, unsure whether to ask him to have a seat or order him to leave.
“It suits you.”
Huh? “What do you mean?”
“Everything in its place—you like order in your life, and it shows.” There was an odd vibe emanating from him, and I didn’t know what to make of it.
“Luca, why are you here?” I asked softly, deciding to pass on the games.
He leaned against the island counter and studied me, his eyes scrutinizing me until I was sure he could see straight into my soul. “How was the meeting?” he finally asked in a deadpan voice.
“It was fine. What’s this all about?” If he was going to play games, I could play dumb with the best of them.
“I want to know why you lied to me. I told you from the very beginning never to lie to me, did I not?” He didn’t seem angry. Rather, he was more like an iceberg, distant and brutally cold.
His removed demeanor should have been a good thing, should have made it that much easier to explain things were over between us. However, that plan didn’t take into account how wounded I’d feel at his cold disposition. It was like standing before my father, all over again, explaining why I’d forgotten to turn off the bathtub water. I didn’t want to disappoint Luca.
Every one of the practiced explanations I’d rehearsed in the bathtub evaporated. Instead, tears pooled in my eyes as I wrung my hands together. “You scare me, Luca. I don’t know you, and you’ve rammed your way into my life in such a short time. I’m developing feelings for you, even though I can sense you have secrets. For all I know, every word out of your mouth could be a lie. I’m so torn, and it terrifies me.”
There. I’d laid myself bare.
I hadn’t exactly ended it, but I also hadn’t been a coward and run. I had confronted him with my fears, and no matter the outcome, I would feel good about how I’d handled the situation.
Luca closed the distance between us, trailing his knuckles down the side of my face. “I will never hurt you, Alessia. I know you’re scared, and you have every right to be, but I don’t want you to run from me. If you have a problem, you come to me, and we’ll work through it together.”
I dropped my gaze to the buttons on his white dress shirt and chewed on my bottom lip. “What about the phone conversations?” I asked in a small voice. “Work calls that require your presence at night—talking about blood for blood—those things aren’t normal. How do I reconcile that if you aren’t lying to me?”
Luca pulled me close and lifted me against him, wrapping my legs around his middle. He walked me to the kitchen counter and placed me down, keeping his body pressed firmly against mine. “I’m not a normal man, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to hurt you,” he whispered, eyes peering deeply into mine. “Sometimes, people like us are different. Surely, you’ve felt it. We aren’t like the other sheep out there, pissing away their lives at menial jobs. We’re different, the both of us.”
I breathed in Luca’s warm breath, reveling in our nearness. “All I know is, I can see me losing myself in you, and I don’t even know you. I need this to slow down.”
“Have I done anything to hurt you? Pushed you to do anything you didn’t want or given you any reason to fear me?”
I slowly shook my head as a stab of guilt wracked my resolve. Luca had been nothing but gentlemanly toward me at each of our encounters—a roguish gentleman, but a gentleman, nonetheless. I’d taken a couple of one-sided phone conversations and let my imagination run away from me. Although, I did note he hadn’t explained what I’d overheard.
Luca’s gaze dropped to the framed photo beside me. It was a picture of my sisters and me with our parents on our last family vacation in the Bahamas, all sunburned and smiling—it was one of my all-time favorite shots of us. He picked up the frame to look more closely at the photo.
“You’re different than I expected—none of this
was supposed to happen.” He spoke almost under his breath as if the words weren’t meant for my ears.
“What’s not supposed to happen?” Had he meant for us to be a one-and-done when he first asked me out? It wouldn’t have surprised me if he wasn’t used to relationships. Men like Luca weren’t picket fence type of guys.
“I’m not supposed to want you,” he said as his eyes returned to mine.
“Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what we want or need. Sometimes, life just is. I can feel in my gut you’re not good for me, but that doesn’t seem to change anything,” I admitted softly.
He set down the frame and turned back to me. “You’re not the only one who knows this is wrong.”
“Why would it be a bad thing for you to want me?”
His jaw flexed, and his hand caressed down the length of my arm. “Because you complicate things immeasurably.”
Ouch. I pursed my lips and glanced out my living room window, suddenly wishing I could walk away from the conversation. The telltale prick of tears stung at the back of my throat. This was exactly why I’d tried to walk away from him—Luca was heartache waiting to happen. Anger swelled inside me that in a matter of minutes, I’d let him slink his way back under my skin.
Luca turned my face toward his and swiped at a threatening tear. “Complicated isn’t always bad. In fact, lately, complicated has looked very, very good.” Then he kissed me, softly, sweetly, his lips moving achingly slow against mine.
Instinctively, my hands lifted to his jacket to pull him closer. His lips curved in a smile before he deepened the kiss, his assault making my lips feel swollen and tender. I liked the gentle kisses, but I also liked the frenzy—as if his need for me was insatiable, a yawning cavern that couldn’t be filled. He stole the air from my lungs and swept me away on a river of desire.
We only came apart when a knock sounded at my door. I pulled in shaky breaths, trying to ground myself back in my body.
Forever Lies: A Mafia Romance (The Five Families Book 1) Page 8