Once I step into my bedroom, I wait for her to cross the threshold before I speak. “Shut the door behind you,” I demand, my back still to her.
I hear the door close and only then do I turn around to face her. Silently, I watch as she puts her hands behind her back and unties the strings of her top. It falls to the floor and exposes her bare tits for me.
“What do you want, Hawk?” she purrs.
I like Pinkie, always have. She’s good people. Knows her place and doesn’t expect more from the club, or the members than she should. She’s not here to be an Old Lady. She’s here to have a safe place to live, to be protected, and to have some fun.
“You givin’ me something new?” I ask, arching a brow.
She chuckles. “Nothing new, hon. Just want to make sure you get exactly what you need.”
Need.
She has a clue at least.
But there’s nothing she can give me that I actually need.
“Start by sucking me hard, babe,” I mutter.
She smiles, slowly swaying her hips as she makes her way toward me, her tits moving just slightly with each step she takes. “Skirt off, shoes on,” I demand.
Pinkie laughs softly before she shimmies her skirt down. No need to take any panties off, because like the good clubwhore she is, Pinkie doesn’t wear any, at least not at night. She sinks to her knees and I don’t even have to tell her to spread her thighs so that I see her pussy, she just does it.
Closing my eyes, I drop my head backward as she expertly undoes my belt, zips my pants down, pushes my jeans and underwear to my thighs and wraps her hand around my cock. She doesn’t stroke me. Instead, her tongue touches the head of my dick before she swirls it around.
She tastes me before she takes my cock all the way down her throat, she sucks hard, her hand moving in sync with her mouth, causing the friction that I need to go from half-mast to completely hard.
Lifting my hand, I bury my fingers in the back of her hair, gripping her tightly as I thrust my hips forward. She moans, the vibration sliding throughout my entire body. This isn’t two lovers being together, we hold zero romantic feelings for one another, I simply fuck her mouth.
I don’t come down her throat, stopping just before I blow my load. I want some ass, I’m going to finish buried deep inside her back entrance.
“Turn around,” I grind out.
Her eyes widen and she smiles. “Lube and condom?” she asks.
“You know it, babe.”
With a nod, she turns around and positions herself with her chest on the floor, her legs spread wide, and her hands gripping her cheeks, spreading them apart for me. Licking my lips, I stare at the sight for a minute, it’s beautiful, however, I can’t help but wish that it was Avah in her place.
Turning from her, I grab the lube and a condom from the small table next to my bed. My balls ache to be emptied and I almost blow my load when I start to lube both of us up, knowing exactly what is about to happen.
“Play with your pussy,” I gently instruct.
Pinkie moans, her hand moving between her legs and I watch as she starts to work herself up. Then, when she’s good and ready, when she’s almost about to come, I start to prep her ass for my dick.
Every second of this moment, I think about Avah, and wish that she were here. I know that she needs to be free, needs to find herself, and I’m giving her that. But I don’t know how much longer I’m willing to wait for her to find whatever the fuck it is she’s looking for.
Pushing the thoughts to the back of my mind, I align my cock with Pinkie’s ass and slowly sink inside of her. For the next several strokes of my dick, I think of nothing but my physical gratification, no matter how wrong it is.
Chapter Four
AVAH
For days I do nothing but look over my shoulder. I feel sweat drip down my chest between my breasts as my body temperature rises and adrenaline flows through my system, even while I’m just sitting at my desk working.
I remember this feeling all too well, except the last time I was stalked, I had Layne’s guards to keep me safe—now I have nothing and nobody. It’s terrifying. I’m trying to push it all to the back of my mind, but it’s staying at the forefront no matter what I do.
You could call Hawk, a voice whispers in my ear.
That little devil on my shoulder screams to call him. My body begs to do it as well. But I can’t. I can’t do that to myself again. I can’t fall deeper in love with this man who will only turn his back on me.
A man who will, without hesitation, walk away when shit gets real. For the first time in my life, unfortunately for my poor pitiful heart, I want shit to be real. So real that my entire body aches with need, with want, with desire for a future.
Hawk and I will never be that real, we’ll never be anything more than two people who crave to fuck one another, physical pleasures only and as much as I love fucking him, I want a future. I don’t know if I’ll ever want children, but I at least want a companion.
“Knock, knock,” a voice calls out and my entire body jumps at least four inches from the seat of my chair.
Lifting my head, I suck in a breath as my eyes travel up Graham’s body and meet his own. He frowns for just a moment before he smirks.
“Jumpy today?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I grunt.
He doesn’t act the least bit curious as to why I am jumpy though. He starts talking to me about the upcoming employee picnic and asks if I’ll be bringing anyone.
I almost groan thinking about needing to go and be part of the team. I don’t want to be part of anything, I just want to do my job, go home, and wonder what happens next in life.
Graham breaks my inner thoughts as he proceeds to tell me about this girl he’s dating and that he’ll be bringing her along, as if I give a shit. Plus, considering he asked me out just a few days ago, it adds to the growing list of reasons I won’t ever be dating him, as if I needed more.
I don’t even attempt to speak. He rattles on about his girl, then gives me a smile and turns his back to me before walking away. I have no clue why he was even here, unless it was all a ploy to make me jealous, and if it was, it was pointless.
Shifting my gaze back to my computer, I decide to check my email one last time before I walk out on the lot and just breathe. I need some fresh air. I need some silence and there is nothing quiet about this office or the people who continue to pop in every five minutes.
There’s nobody around the lot, which doesn’t surprise me. It’s two in the afternoon, this is our dead time. Later this afternoon and early evening we may get a few bites, then it will pick up after people start getting off of work.
I just need to be alone. I’m not looking for a sale or commission right now. I just need to breathe. I feel safe enough to be alone out in the lot, so I continue to walk through the rows of cars.
Tugging down the tailgate of a pickup, I jump up onto the bed and close my eye as I allow the warm sun to shine down on me. The spring is starting to turn to summer and I can’t wait.
Summer is my absolute favorite season. I don’t spend a lot of time on a tan or anything like that, I just enjoy walking on the warm sand barefoot and I used to love sitting on my balcony and enjoying my tea in the mornings.
“You shouldn’t be alone out here,” a deep voice rumbles from behind me.
My spine straightens and my eyelids pop open. I don’t make a single move to look behind me. Whoever he is, I don’t recognize his voice immediately. He could be the senator, but he could be half a dozen other men too.
“I’ve been watching you, Avah. I miss you,” he practically purrs.
Pressing my lips together, I hold my breath wishing that he would just disappear. I want him to go far, far, away. I don’t even care who he is, I just want him gone.
“Did you enjoy your roses? No, wait, don’t answer that,” he coos.
I wasn’t planning on it, not in the slightest.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I silen
tly pray for someone to come around the corner, even Graham would be a welcome sight right about now. But nobody comes. Not a single fucking soul.
The stranger’s finger touches the side of my neck and I bite the inside of my lip even harder, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth in an attempt to keep from giving him any kind of physical reaction, even though all I want to do is throw up and shiver in disgust.
“I want to hear your answer when you’re naked, chained, and spread for me.”
I don’t give him the satisfaction of a response. Instead. I bite my cheek harder, knowing that it’s going to take days, if not weeks, to heal. It doesn’t matter, nothing does, not right now. Maybe when this is over, when whatever happens does, when I’m free from this creep, I might care if I hurt myself, but not right now and not anytime soon.
“I’ll see you soon, gorgeous. Sleep tight and think of me. When the time is right, you’ll be all mine.”
His finger disappears from my skin and I turn around after counting to five only to see that there is nobody there. Wherever he came from, he slipped away just as quietly and quickly. I don’t move from my spot.
Wrenching my phone out of my pocket, I think about calling the police, but know that it would be fruitless, since I didn’t even see him. His voice wasn’t distinct, but then again, I think that he was purposely making it that way, so that I couldn’t pick him out specifically.
Pulling up my contact list, I start to scroll down to find Hawk’s number. It stares back at me, taunting me and begging me to call, but I don’t. I watch as a car pulls into the lot and a family of four piles out and heads in my direction, at least the direction of the pickups.
Sliding the phone in my pocket, I slam the tailgate closed and plaster on my fake smile as I make my way toward them. I tone down my sex appeal, shifting my smile from coy and seducing to more friendly.
Yes, there is a man, but there is also a woman and her three children standing next to him and the last thing she needs to feel is that I’m flirting with her man. Insecure women do not tend to buy cars and if mama says no, I’m not getting a sale.
HAWK
“Have you decided to grow the fuck up yet?” Trista asks, walking up beside me.
I’m sitting at the bar, a bottle in hand.
Turning my head, my brows rise as I look over at her. She’s frowning, her gaze focused on mine and nowhere else.
“Grow up?” I ask.
She nods her head, lifting her hand. I watch as the prospect hands her a bottle of water. She arches a brow, her gaze never leaving mine, but a small smirk appears on her lips.
“It’s been months. You’re either a pussy or you didn’t really like her that much. Though, I doubt it’s the latter because Avah is fucking fantastic and totally your type.”
I snort, knowing that my daughter has hit the nail on the head, but I’m not willing to admit it, at least not right now and probably never, at least to her and probably not out loud.
“You’re saying all of this because?” I ask.
She rolls her eyes to the ceiling, then brings her gaze back to meet my own. “She’s lonely. She hasn’t been dating and she’s been doing nothing but working. Go and get her, Hawk. Bring her home.”
“Home?” I ask.
Her lips twitch into a grin. “You love her and I’ll get her back. This is where she belongs, with us—her family.”
Fuck but my daughter could bring a man to tears. I hope she brings Taz to bitch baby cry fests. Clearing my throat, I lean back.
“How do you know my type, anyway?” I ask, changing the subject.
Trista presses her lips together. “My mother wasn’t nice, but she was beautiful and a hellcat when she wanted to be. She could be funny and sweet too, when she felt like it. She wasn’t always sour and bitter. I know you fell for her, because of those good things and not the bad. I know you left because of the bad and I know you thought you were doing it not just for the club, but for my benefit too.”
“You hate me any less?” I ask, trying to keep my voice from sounding like I’m on the verge of tears.
“No,” she whispers. “But, I don’t hate you. I don’t like you very much for walking away from me, but I don’t hate you, couldn’t.”
Inside, I’m beaming with pride that this girl is mine—my daughter. On the outside, my lips twitch into a small smile. Lifting my hand, I cup her cheek briefly, then let it fall down to my side.
Clearing my throat, I force the lump that had found its way in the middle, down. “She needs to find her happiness, Tristiana. She needs to find someone who can love her, give her a good life, and a family.”
“You can give her all of that,” she points out.
“Can’t do that. Already fucked up with you, can’t give her kids.”
She snorts. “You’re a pussy. Firstly, do you even know if she wants kids? Secondly, maybe you’d like to have a kid and actually be around it? If you think it would piss me off, it wouldn’t. I have my own family to start.”
My eyes widen and they dip down to her belly, then flick over to the water in her hand before I shift them to meet hers.
“You need to tell me something?” I demand.
“Not much, but do you like Poppa or Pappy?”
My breath leaves my lungs. Pregnant. My daughter is going to have a baby and I’m going to be a goddamn grandfather. Fuck. I’m old enough to be a grandfather, at least in age, but fuck me, I do not feel old enough.
“Happy for you,” I murmur.
She laughs softly, lifting her hand and for the first time in I can’t remember how long, she wraps her fingers around the side of my throat.
“I have peace with what happened in the past. I can’t hold a grudge, not anymore. I don’t hate you for trying to give me a good life. You thought you were doing the right thing. I get it,” she whispers. “But you can’t punish yourself forever and you can’t walk away from a chance at happiness.”
“Happiness,” I grunt.
Trista shakes her head, then tilts it to the side and smirks at me as her fingers fall from the side of my neck.
“I admit, I was really grossed out at first. I mean, my father and my best friend? Gross.”
My shoulders shake as I silently laugh at her description and the way her nose wrinkles as she watches me. She straightens her head, her gaze focused on mine and nowhere else, all laughter is gone from her and I clear my throat as I nod and wait for her to continue.
“But there’s something missing in both of you since you came home without her. Whatever you had, and I do not want to know, it was something that I think you both needed.”
“She ain’t doin’ well?” I demand.
Trista’s lips curve up into a grin. “You care?” she asks. “Why?”
With a growl, I stand to my feet while she laughs. Fucking women. Trista rolls her eyes, then finally decides to answer me.
“Something is up, I don’t know what it is. I can’t tell and she’s not talking to me about it. She needs to come home, Dad.”
Without another word, she turns her back to me, then walks away. I watch her retreating form, then my lips turn up into a grin. She called me dad.
Chapter Five
AVAH
I jump when my phone starts to dance on the kitchen counter. Looking down at the incoming call, my heart leaps into my throat and my eyes widen.
HAWK
How many times did I reach for my phone to call him? How many times did I think about begging him to come and rescue me from this threat? How many times did I dream of this exact moment?
Thousands.
That’s how many, thousands.
Reaching for the phone, my fingers hover directly above it, but I can’t quite make myself pick it up and slide my thumb across the screen. Something stops me, something that I can’t quite control.
Turning my back on the small device, I reach for the refrigerator door, wrapping my fingers around the handle and tug it open. Extending my arm, I wrap my han
d around the bottle of wine and pull it out before I slam the door closed.
I don’t have a balcony here, but that doesn’t stop me from walking over to the window and sliding it open. Sitting down next to it, I close my eyes as the cool night’s breeze washes over my face.
Lifting the bottle to my lips, I close my eyes, tilt my head back and take a huge drink from the bottle. I stay right there, next to the window and I drink. I ignore my dancing phone, the alerts from text messages and voicemails.
I ignore it all and I drink until I forget.
I turn into my father for the night. I drink to get drunk, to forget that I’m nothing and nobody. That I am just an old whore who wasted my entire twenties just to make a buck.
Before I know what’s happened, the sun is bright in my eyes and there’s a banging on the door. I try to look around the room, but it’s so bright and my head is pounding way too hard to even begin to think.
Stumbling and shuffling, I make my way toward the door. I don’t even look in the peephole, not that I could even focus on that tiny little hole, or even smaller person on the other side of it. Wrenching the door open, I tilt my head back and my eyes widen at the sight in front of me.
I don’t know who I expected to see, but this wasn’t it. “You’ve got yourself a problem, honey,” my neighbor announces.
It’s the man who smiles as he passes me, whose lingering gaze I feel every time we walk past one another. Blinking, I stare at him. I only know that his name is Keaston, and nothing else.
I’ve only seen him in passing, but as he watches me currently with a narrowed gaze, I have a feeling I’m going to be getting to know him a little better, and I don’t think that I have much of a choice about that.
He’s dressed similarly to Hawk, wearing old faded jeans, a tight T-shirt, a leather cut, and a beard. He’s hot too, though, with my massive hangover, it’s hard for me to stare too long without swaying.
I start to fall to the side and he reaches out. “Woah there, babe.”
UnWreck Me (Savage Beast MC Book 7) Page 5