“Don’t be mad at me anymore, Trista. Fucked up.”
Her eyes search my own. She doesn’t say anything right away, but then she nods her head. “I’m not, Dad. I don’t want to be anymore. You’re going to be married and I’m going to have a baby, it’s time that we move forward.”
Nodding, I lean forward and press my forehead against hers. “Yeah, I like that. Let’s do that,” I rasp.
She laughs softly. “Okay. Yeah, let’s.”
Avah tugs on my hand. Turning my head to look over at her, I grin as she sways. “You’re all made up now? For good?”
Pulling her a bit closer to my side, I glide my hand up her waist and cup the side of her tit. “Yeah, baby. We’re all made up for good.”
“Good.”
AVAH
I hear a noise. A low moaning, gurgling noise. Opening my eyes, I almost scream out in pain, not just from my headache, but also from the brand between my breasts. Fuck me, fuck me, it all hurts so goddamn much.
The moaning sound gets louder, and it’s right next to me. I roll over, whimpering at the sensation of my burning chest as I move. Reaching out, I blindly search for Hawk’s body, but something strong bats my hand away.
Forcing my eyes to open, I look at the something that hit my hand and I realize it wasn’t something, it was Hawk. Except he doesn’t look like Hawk right now. His eyes are open slightly, but it’s like he’s not there, he’s not really awake.
“Hawk,” I call out softly. When he just thrashes again and grunts, that’s when I call out his name. “Orson,” I say a little louder, though I’m not sure how loud, considering my brain feels like it’s going to split my head open and fall out onto the bed next to me.
He still doesn’t say anything that I understand, I wrap my fingers around his forearm and try to shake him. It was the wrong move to make. The total wrong move. He jerks his arm up and it causes me to fall backward onto the mattress.
The next thing I know, Hawk is hovering over the top of me, his eyes wide open, but it’s not him staring back at me. It’s nothingness, it’s an empty void and it’s terrifying. He lifts one of his hands and wraps it around the front of my throat, squeezing me.
Lifting my hands, I try to pry his fingers from around my throat, but it doesn’t work. He’s too strong. He starts yelling in my face, his words unrecognizable as his fingers squeeze harder and harder.
Grasping at his wrist, I start to dig my nails into his skin, hoping that it will wake him up, but it doesn’t work. Wherever he is in his dreams, he’s there and he’s not coming out anytime soon, even if it kills me.
Darkness starts to creep in around the edges of my vision, and I know it’s going to be too late for me to try and stop this pretty soon. His body presses against mine and my eyes roll in the back of my head as pain radiates throughout my body at the feeling of his chest pressing against my freshly burned one.
I flail, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing is waking him up from this nightmare. Then I realize, I know exactly where he is—I just hope that I survive this. Everything around me goes completely dark and painless peace takes over.
Chapter Thirty-Four
HAWK
Walsh appears in front of me, but I shake my head, knowing that this can’t be real. It feels really fucking real though as he laughs loudly, watching me, his goons at his side. They’re all watching me, then they jerk their chins in one single motion.
“It’s time,” Walsh announces.
“How about you go fuck yourself?” I growl. “I already killed you once, you sick fuck, I’ll do it again.”
Walsh takes a step toward me, then lifts his hand and snaps his fingers. Instantly, I’m naked and on my knees. He smirks, tilting his chin down, his eyes finding mine and then he speaks.
“You’re going to watch me fuck your woman. Then you’re going to watch my men fuck her. Then you’re going to watch me slice the skin off of her body the way that you did to us.”
“No,” I growl and try to move, but my entire body is frozen. I try again, and still can’t move.
Suddenly, Avah is in front of me, naked, bound, and gagged. She has tears spilling from her eyes, and she’s covered in bruises. Without a moment’s hesitation, Walsh throws her onto the ground. Her hands are tied behind her back so she just falls straight forward and lands flat on her face.
Walsh and his goons are naked and they start to do exactly what he described. Something unfreezes and I stand up, charging after Walsh before tackling him to the ground and wrapping my hand around his throat.
I squeeze.
And squeeze.
And squeeze some more.
Then I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling, suddenly alone in the room. Thankful to be alone as I stare at the ceiling.
Something consumes me, I suck in a deep breath and sit straight up, my heart racing and my chest moving up and down quickly as I pant. I’m back in my room at the clubhouse. Fuck me, it was just a dream.
A really fucking bad one.
Lifting my hand, I rub my palm down my face and tug on the edge of my beard as I try to wake up and shake myself from the fucking nightmare that consumed me and felt so goddamn real that I didn’t think I was ever going to wake up.
Turning my head, I look over to check on Avah. At first glance she’s sleeping peacefully, then when I really look at her, I notice that her head is at an awkward angle.
“Honey,” I call out as I reach for her shoulder and shake her gently. “Avah,” I say a little louder and shake her a little harder.
Her body is almost limp. Leaning down, I gently touch my palm to her chest to see if she’s breathing. Pinching my eyes closed, I try to take in my own steady breaths to keep the roaring of my own ears to a minimum as I fucking panic that I’ve murdered another one of my women, this time accidentally.
Her breathing is there, but slight and shallow. Opening my eyes, I watch her for a long moment, wondering what the fuck do I do next? I can’t call the cops in here, can’t call anyone. Sliding my hand up her chest, I touch the redness that’s beginning to form around her neck. How do I explain this to anyone?
It’s fucking neglectful as shit, but I wait. I watch her, hoping for some improvement, then finally it happens. She sucks in a breath and opens her eyes, groaning, her voice sounding raspy.
“Orson,” she breathes.
“What the fuck did I do?” I ask, afraid to touch her, afraid to even really look at her.
She doesn’t try to move at all, her gaze searching my face, roaming over my features when she licks her bottom lip and starts to speak. When she finally speaks, her voice is hoarse and it fucking kills me with every word she says.
“It doesn’t matter. You had a nightmare,” she whispers.
“I hurt you.”
She hums, pushing up to a sitting position with a hiss. I reach out for her, wrapping my hands around her waist to help her. The look on her face, the cringe of pain, sends another shot of guilt throughout my entire fucking body.
“You didn’t, Orson. You were having a nightmare, I shouldn’t have tried to wake you up.”
Shaking my head, I run my fingers through my hair. I have to leave soon and this is how I walk out of the clubhouse. Her battered, fresh wounds and bruises on top of it. I’m a fucking asshole. I knew I didn’t deserve her before, but now I’m one-hundred percent positive that I don’t.
“You better come back to me, Hawk,” she snaps.
Turning my head, I tilt my chin down and wonder how she knew what I was thinking. She lifts her hand, sliding her fingers through my beard. Her thumb slides along my bottom lip and I can’t stop myself from tasting that flesh of hers anytime it’s near.
Then, to my utter fucking shock, she shifts her body, rising to her knees and climbs over me. Her legs spread as she straddles my hips. Instantly all thoughts of what happened disappear as one thing and one thing only enters my mind. Being inside of her. Fuck me, do I want to be inside of her, again.
Now.
Avah leans over, her lips touching mine as my hands wrap around her waist, my fingers digging into her flesh harder than they should. She hums against my mouth, her hips shifting as she glides her folds along my hardening cock.
“Avah,” I groan against her lips, on the verge of losing my fucking control.
She shifts her hips and aligns my dick with her pussy, then slowly sinks down along my length, taking all of me inside of her with a sigh. She doesn’t move right away, instead she just looks directly at me, her gaze far too fucking intense.
“Babe,” I grunt.
She shakes her head. “You are not leaving,” she whispers.
“Gotta go to NorCal, honey.”
Avah presses her lips together, her nostrils flaring as she watches me. “You’re not leaving me, Orson,” she grinds out. “You leave for Northern California, you better fucking come back.”
If I was me from twenty years ago, I would take that as not only a threat, but a challenge, and I wouldn’t come back just to be a fucking asshole. I’m still goddamn tempted. Then she shifts her hand, placing her palm on the center of my chest.
Tilting my chin, I look down at the ring on her finger, the one I put there last night. “You’re not leaving me, Orson.”
I’m not leaving her. Couldn’t even if I wanted to. She’s got my balls in her hands, owns them one-hundred percent. Lifting my head, I look directly into her eyes. Sliding my hands to her hips, I force her body to move. Her head drops back and she lets out a raspy groan as she allows me to shift her hips.
With a grunt, I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, watching her move. Shifting my gaze up to her sternum, I tug the bandaging off, knowing that I have to clean and change the dressing for her after this anyway. I want to see my fucking brand on her when I come.
Her hips move and jerk as she bucks above me, searching for her release. I watch, unable to take my eyes off of her. She’s moving, grinding, and taking what she needs from me. It’s fucking beautiful.
Licking my lips, I lean forward and suck on her nipple, taking it into my mouth and sinking my teeth into the flesh of her tit, my gaze lifting to look up at her through my lashes. Her head is tipped down and she’s watching me, too.
“Don’t try and leave, Orson. You claimed me, you’re keeping me.”
Releasing her tit, I grin up at her. “Ain’t leavin’ you, honey. Now, come on my dick, woman.”
Her lips curve up in a smile and she does just that, right before she pulls the cum from my own body. She trembles above me, and I wrap my hand around the back of her neck, tugging her down just enough to taste her lips.
“Love you, Avah.”
AVAH
I stand in the middle of the dirty, hot parking lot, my chest on fire and my heart aching. He’s going to run, I can feel it deep in my bones. He’s going to take off and I’m not going to ever see him again.
Looking down at my engagement ring, I wonder if he just gave this to me to make me happy right before he bounced, or if he had serious intentions when he slipped it on my finger. Then there’s the fact that I now have the initial of his road name literally burned in my flesh.
“You’re freaking out,” a voice says next to me.
Turning my head, I see Sable at my side. She’s got her bag slung over her shoulder. I think I might actually miss the bitch when she’s gone for good, she’s just one of those bitches you love to hate.
“I’m not, actually,” I say, and it’s true, I’m not.
I don’t need to, because Hawk is doing enough freaking out for the both of us. He’s straight-up panicked after his nightmare and I can tell that he’s thinking about sprinting away from me. I can only hope that talking with him brings him back, but I can’t be sure at all.
“I am,” she breathes. “It seemed fantastic when I agreed to go, but now…”
I’m not sure when I became her confidant, but after the way she treated Trista, she’s lucky I’m civil to her. Just because she’s fucking my old neighbor, it doesn’t make us friends. If I left Hawk tomorrow, I have no doubt she’d be trying to weasel her way into his bed. She’s not picky at all.
“Gotta jump in headfirst sometimes,” I state before I turn and walk away from her.
Keaston is standing a few feet away and I stop in front of him. He dips his chin, his gaze finding mine. Stopping, I tilt my head back to look up at him. His lips curve up into a grin.
“You need anything from LA when I get there?”
I think about running back for a moment. If I leave today, then it won’t matter if Hawk never comes back. I’ll move on as best as I can and he’ll do… whatever, probably screw more women and drink more booze.
“Avah?” Keaston calls out.
Shaking my head once, I pinch my eyes closed, then open them again. “No, I think that most of it was brought here. I don’t think there’s much left.”
Keaston nods, though his eyes search my face for a long moment. He lets out a sigh, then lifts his hand and runs his fingers through his hair. “You need anything at all, babe, you just call me, yeah?”
Licking my lips, I press them together as I nod my head. “Thanks, Keaston. Thank you for everything that you did.”
I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything at all. Instead, I walk past him and back inside of the building, out of the hot sun. I’m glad that the place is quiet, the party last night did everyone in and they’re all recovering. Bypassing all of the passed-out bodies, I make my way into the kitchen and search for something to drink and eat.
“You good?” a deep voice murmurs.
Spinning around, I see Taz standing with his shoulder leaning against the doorjamb. “I’m good,” I breathe.
He chuckles, shaking his head. “You ain’t.”
“I’m not.”
He arches a brow, quietly waiting for me to speak. I’m not sure what to say. What I should or shouldn’t say. Taz isn’t really my friend, but at the same time, I’m not sure if I can talk to Trista about this, not that I think it would upset her, but it’s just not cool.
“He’s going to run again,” I whisper.
Admitting it aloud is a lot different than thinking it. Saying that he’s not coming back, it makes it real—too real. Licking my lips, I look down at my feet. I’m dressed down today, my body aching, my heart breaking with every breath that I take.
“Have anything to do with the bruises on your neck?”
Shrugging a shoulder, my gaze shifts to the side, then comes back to meet his. “It was a nightmare. The shit we went through, the shit he went through. He hasn’t processed.”
Taz nods his head a couple of times. “Lot to process, especially since it just happened. Don’t mean he’s walking away.”
“How well do you know him?” I ask, arching a brow.
“He tries, then I’m going to find him and drag his ass back,” Trista calls out from behind Taz.
There’s a moment of silence as she steps out from beside him. Her arms are crossed just below her breasts and her eyes are narrowed on me. She shakes her head a couple of times.
“Then, I’ll kill him,” she snaps.
My eyes widen as I press my lips together. “Trista,” I hiss.
“Seriously. I won’t have it. He’s going to be a husband, a father to your kids, and a fucking grandfather. What he’s not going to be is a scared fucking pussy.”
“Beautiful,” Taz warns.
Trista holds up her hand to shut him up, but her gaze is pointed directly at me. “I’m not joking. He’s not doing it again, not at almost sixty. It’s time for him to step up to the plate and be a man.”
I want to tell her that just because he is almost sixty doesn’t mean he’s going to magically change. I have a feeling that Hawk isn’t going to magically change at all and maybe he was right when I first arrived. Maybe we should have had our fun, then after the senator was dealt with, I could have just gone on my way.
But not me, not Avah. I wanted more. I wanted everything,
because that’s the kind of person I am. I see something and I want it, so I figure out a way to get it.
This time it wasn’t financial security, clothes, bigger tits. It was a man, and I wanted Hawk so damn badly, I was willing to put my heart on the line. Like a fucking idiot.
Chapter Thirty-Five
HAWK
I’m supposed to ride straight to Marshall’s place, but in true Hawk fashion, I don’t. Instead, I quietly climb toward the edge of the Donkey Puncher’s clubhouse. I don’t bust in there and gun them down like the cowards that they are, no matter how badly I want to do just that.
Instead, I watch.
Dragon claims we’re close to being able to exact our revenge on the fucks. I hate having to wait. I want to take them out, I want to make them suffer, make their families suffer for what they did and what they tried to do not only to our club, but to my fucking daughter.
I notice something from the corner of my eye and I jerk my head in surprise at the figure making his way toward me.
“You trying to get yourself killed?” he asks.
“Could kill you right here and nobody back home would give much of a fuck about it,” I say.
He crosses his arms over his chest. “Yeah, you probably could. But you won’t.”
“Whys that?”
He grins. “Because I have an in and I’m going to make ending them that much more fun for you guys. Not even one Beast will bleed and yet, they’ll all fucking die.”
“But we have to wait.”
Jaguar snorts. “Yeah, gotta wait.”
“Because of some snatch?”
He shakes his head slowly. “Yes and no.”
“Care to explain? Because Dragon has been tight-lipped and I gotta say, I’m not very fucking happy about that shit, not one bit.”
Jaguar licks his lips, his gaze flicking down to his boots before he slowly brings it back up to meet mine. I’m all fucking ears, eager to figure out why exactly we can’t get these fucks wiped from the earth and also why Dragon gives a single fuck what a traitor like Jaguar thinks and why he’s listening to him and following his lead on any of this shit.
UnWreck Me (Savage Beast MC Book 7) Page 24